Split LongWays - User contributions [en]

401: Static Prevails

2026-10-27T17:44:55Z

William Jodeit:

==Synopsis==

The season opens with a nightmare. [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] dreams that he is first [[Drandy Savage]], a black-scaled swordsman cutting down creatures in a burning village in front of a black obelisk, and then himself, running across an alien landscape of crystal pillars from a gigantic creature. The dream speeds up, slows down and reverses, until he is back at a pillar, watching a giant spider creature close in on his fallen self while his wife, [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]], stands by, confused, and a scruffy stranger he does not recognize hides behind another pillar. As the spider's claws come down, a phone rings. Simeon wakes in a cold sweat in his dark bedroom, with sleet on the window and Mary Beth asleep beside him, and the phone is still ringing.

It is [[Billy McConnell|Billy]], now a detective, calling at about three in the morning from the Riverview Apartments on Alesbury Street, across from Hangman's Hill. He wants Simeon to round up the others, especially [[Major Bakersfield]], whom he cannot reach, and to bring their gear and be ready for anything. The Keeper sets the scene on the drive over: it is November 1925, two months after the fall of New Jerusalem in [[316: The Last Stand]], and the group stayed long enough to help the surviving townsfolk put something together so that they could start over somewhere far away. The Major sits in stony silence with a patch over the eye he lost there, though it is the injury that cannot be seen that weighs on him most. [[Goodman Gray]] and his men and the unnerving [[Constable Zeke Dawkins|Constable Ezekiel Dawkins]] seem to have vanished during the final stand. Among the wreckage were the remains of [[Mayor Jedediah Marsh]], who was killed not by tooth or claw but by a gunshot fired from close range, and his last words to the group, "[[Mayor Sidel]] of Arkham," have so far led only to more questions. There is one bright spot: Simeon found his brother [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Timeon]] through a dangerous bit of magic and a break-in at the Miskatonic University artifact storage. Timeon is home and safe, though he is still struggling to adjust, and he has gone back to their parents' old house. Simeon has not heard from him in a few days.

[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]], [[Dom Druncard|Dom]], the Major and Simeon pull up outside the run-down building. Outside, a homeless man calls out to them, asking whether they are "with the ferrymen" and begging them to tell "the boat man," all in black, that he needs another ride on the boat. The Keeper explains that the newspapers and the police have started calling people like him "boaters," after a new drug on the streets that nobody can trace. Upstairs, Billy meets them in plain clothes at the door of a small apartment where every surface, from the kitchen counters to the bathtub, is covered in radios, including a nice Kennedy Model 20 with two more stacked on top of it. The neighbors had called the police over radios blaring in the night, and when the patrolmen forced the door, they found the windows locked from the inside and a dead man in a padded chair in the middle of the living room, head back and mouth open, with stab wounds near both shoulders, in the middle of the chest and low in the stomach. His body looks as if he has been dead for days. None of the group recognizes him, and the sight costs the weaker stomachs a point of Sanity.

The Major examines the body and finds that the wounds are punctures from something like an ice pick, not a knife. He takes Billy aside to say, as gently as he can, that they look exactly like the wounds on the Major's own wife. For all the stab wounds, there is surprisingly little blood. Dom finds a loaded snub-nosed .38 on the body, with no shots fired and no ID. Simeon and Billy follow a low static hiss to the kitchen, where there are radios in the freezer, the refrigerator and the cupboards, and Simeon pulls out a small radio with no cord that is still hissing loudly. Stuck to the back of it is a pawn shop receipt made out to "John Johnson" for a man's wristwatch with a leather band and an engraved back, and a Kennedy Model 20 radio. The group also finds a stack of Tallahassee Turner's adventure books and an empty bottle of non-prescription caffeine pills that rolled under the chair, which suggests that the man was working hard to stay awake. An Occult roll finds no strange symbols on the small radio, and a search of the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen turns up nothing but more radios and no food. They decide that the pawn shop around the corner is the next lead. Billy wants to avoid being seen with them, so he goes to talk to the uniformed officers while the others head out.

By about six in the morning, the pawn shop is not yet open, and the group argues about whether to wait, break in or go to breakfast at the 24-hour diner where [[Ezra Denny|Denny]] now works after moving to Arkham. Downstairs, Billy finds Officer Michael Speekman outside the manager's office with his notebook. The neighbor next door, "just Joanna," called around midnight, after the radios, which usually play all day, suddenly blared static and kept changing stations. She had seen the man only once or twice, and he kept to himself and seemed skittish. The apartment manager, Mr. Kitty, said that the apartment had been rented to "John Johnson" for about a month and that he was willing to overlook paperwork for a little money. Everyone who spoke to Speekman and his partner, Officer James Sinclair, said that they had last seen the man at about nine the previous night, scruffy but walking around. Billy points out that the body looks days dead, and he asks Speekman to call in a favor for a rush from the mortician. Speekman says that it is above his pay grade.

==Funny Moments==

* Simeon says he will "translocate" to the Riverview Apartments. The table says that his eyes glaze over and he warps back to "Dungeons and Dragons," and he returns to say, "Hey, it's me again, brothers."
* Reminded of what happened in Evanstone in [[Keeper of the Ways]], the table jokes that [[Major Bakersfield]] "never turned back into a human," and the Keeper has him lick his wrists, but also confirms that the group does remember what happened there.
* Asked whether he has brought his gear, the Major says, "Of course I've got my net. What a dumb question." Another player suggests netting the homeless man outside.
* While describing himself, Tallahassee announces that he looks like "a very handsome Indiana Jones," and the table answers that they do not speak that name, since he ripped off Tallahassee Turner. Someone adds that they even named the dog Indiana.
* Dom checks the dead man's pockets first and says, "I called it, bro." Another player declares the scene "seppuku," the samurai cutting themselves open.
* Faced with a kitchen full of radios, Simeon says, "I think we have to build a man out of radios." Another player jokes that someone is stuffing radios into his pants and asks whether that is why the case is called Radio Man ("you've cracked the case, we can all go home").
* Someone hands Tallahassee's own adventure books to Billy as evidence and is told that they are not signed.
* The Major pulls on his "1920s style latex gloves" to examine the body, and when another player says that he is tampering with evidence, he answers that Billy gave him authorization.
* Dom asks whether he can find a Freddy Krueger glove, and the Keeper replies that the wounds are punctures, not claw marks.
* Billy reads out the pawn receipt, then has to clarify "Pawn, not porn," and the table keeps going with "prawns" and "pawn and fish."
* The group's plan for the pawn shop is to leave a note: "Dear pawn shop, we tried to break in. Love. Please don't hide evidence." They check who has lockpicking skills (two of them have 1%), and someone punches a window and says they can never play guitar again.
* Tallahassee reminds everyone that he has "a book signing later today around lunch," and the group keeps changing its mind between pawn shop and breakfast.
* Speekman tells Billy that it is "the black humor we use to deal with the horrible realities of murder." He also starts to name his partner as "Pizza Dragon," then corrects himself: that is his favorite restaurant, and his partner is Officer James Sinclair.
* The table riffs on the neighbor's name, "just Joanna," as one name and a great first name.

==Notable Quotes==

* "Get my suspenders on and go answer the phone." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Of course I've got my net. What a dumb question." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "You got to tell them I need another ride on the boat." —the homeless "boater"
* "A very handsome Indiana Jones." —[[Tallahassee Turner]]
* "Riverview seems like a bit of a stretch... if you can't have location, location, location, marketing will have to suffice." —[[Alex Morrison]]
* "I think we have to build a man out of radios." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Pawn, not porn." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "Dear pawn shop, we tried to break in. Love. Please don't hide evidence." —the group
* "That's your problem, detective. I just asked the questions." —Officer Michael Speekman

Devon Black

2026-10-27T17:38:29Z

William Jodeit: First appeared in 405, not New Jerusalem

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]] and [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[405: Be Sensible]]

Devon Black, also spelled Devin Black, is a man in his mid-twenties, short and stocky, with sandy brown hair and a blunt face, who wears an overcoat and a hat. In [[Radio Man]] he turns up at [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house pretending to be Raymond. He says that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to "the rest of them," and he carries a dog tag with an octopus-like creature inside a circle, which leads the Major to say that he works for [[Goodman Gray]]. He also turns up in 603: The Disembodied Artist, where he is patched up at a safe house alongside [[Necronomidog]] and loses a hand. The spelling of his name is never given, so both forms appear on this wiki.

==Season 4: Radio Man==
===405: Be Sensible===
When [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] arrive at Raymond Goddard's overgrown house, a man makes eye contact with Dom through a window and opens the door part way. He says that he is Raymond Goddard and asks whether they have a badge. He does not match the tall, athletic, handsome, nicely dressed man the pawnbroker described. The Major draws his 1911 and shoves his way in, and a brick comes sailing through the front window. A Psychology check shows that the man looks genuinely confused when Dom asks about the watch. The Major finds a wallet with a license in the name Devin Black, with an address that is not this house.

Devin reaches for his coat pocket, but the Major kicks his legs out from under him and sends his gun flying. He refuses to talk until the Major roughs him up, and Dom begs him to tell the truth. He admits that he is not Raymond, says that Raymond has been missing for about a week and that he is looking for him, and claims to be a friend who works at a club downtown called Dolly's, which a Psychology roll shows is a lie. He says that "the people we work for" will kill him, that it is not about money and that they have "a cause," that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to the rest of them. He says that they are looking into the boaters too and do not know what is going on with them, that there is another party on the scene, and that he was contacted by someone he does not know and told to find Raymond. When Dom asks whether he works for the mayor, he goes silent and says that he does not, and when asked whether Raymond does, he says nothing and looks very nervous. He says that he does not know who Elizabeth Bakersfield is.

Searching him, the Major finds a switchblade and the octopus dog tag, says "You work for Goodman Gray," and Devin goes dead white and asks how the Major knows Gray. When he starts to struggle, the Major knocks him unconscious. Dom says that he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, and tells the Major to tie Devin up before a knock comes at the door.

===406: Pain===
While Dom answers the door to the neighbor, Bryce Gantt, the Major carries the unconscious Devin into the hallway and lays him on the stairs. The group decides that there is no use in bringing him along, and he is left tied up in the house. Dom then slaps the Major in the face over how he treated Devin, and the Major says that he never meant to murder him, only to press him. At Pizza Dragons Dom tells the others only that they leaned on Devin Black and that he went pale when they mentioned Goodman Gray, and the Major shows the octopus dog tag.

===407: Coffee & Cigarettes===
Asked about Devin Black, the barista Sheamus O'Malley says that the name sounds familiar and that he could have worked for the O'Malleys, but he does not remember.

===410: Just Watch the Fireworks===
Billy says that when the group mentioned Goodman Gray's name to Devin Black, "his eyes got real wide."

==Appearances==
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]

==Mentioned==
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Devon Black

2026-10-27T17:36:44Z

William Jodeit: Add the 603 appearance (patched up at a safe house with Necronomidog, loses a hand); First appeared header unchanged

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]] and [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[The Fall of New Jerusalem]]

Devon Black, also spelled Devin Black, is a man in his mid-twenties, short and stocky, with sandy brown hair and a blunt face, who wears an overcoat and a hat. In [[Radio Man]] he turns up at [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house pretending to be Raymond. He says that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to "the rest of them," and he carries a dog tag with an octopus-like creature inside a circle, which leads the Major to say that he works for [[Goodman Gray]]. He also turns up in 603: The Disembodied Artist, where he is patched up at a safe house alongside [[Necronomidog]] and loses a hand. The spelling of his name is never given, so both forms appear on this wiki.

==Season 4: Radio Man==
===405: Be Sensible===
When [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] arrive at Raymond Goddard's overgrown house, a man makes eye contact with Dom through a window and opens the door part way. He says that he is Raymond Goddard and asks whether they have a badge. He does not match the tall, athletic, handsome, nicely dressed man the pawnbroker described. The Major draws his 1911 and shoves his way in, and a brick comes sailing through the front window. A Psychology check shows that the man looks genuinely confused when Dom asks about the watch. The Major finds a wallet with a license in the name Devin Black, with an address that is not this house.

Devin reaches for his coat pocket, but the Major kicks his legs out from under him and sends his gun flying. He refuses to talk until the Major roughs him up, and Dom begs him to tell the truth. He admits that he is not Raymond, says that Raymond has been missing for about a week and that he is looking for him, and claims to be a friend who works at a club downtown called Dolly's, which a Psychology roll shows is a lie. He says that "the people we work for" will kill him, that it is not about money and that they have "a cause," that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to the rest of them. He says that they are looking into the boaters too and do not know what is going on with them, that there is another party on the scene, and that he was contacted by someone he does not know and told to find Raymond. When Dom asks whether he works for the mayor, he goes silent and says that he does not, and when asked whether Raymond does, he says nothing and looks very nervous. He says that he does not know who Elizabeth Bakersfield is.

Searching him, the Major finds a switchblade and the octopus dog tag, says "You work for Goodman Gray," and Devin goes dead white and asks how the Major knows Gray. When he starts to struggle, the Major knocks him unconscious. Dom says that he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, and tells the Major to tie Devin up before a knock comes at the door.

===406: Pain===
While Dom answers the door to the neighbor, Bryce Gantt, the Major carries the unconscious Devin into the hallway and lays him on the stairs. The group decides that there is no use in bringing him along, and he is left tied up in the house. Dom then slaps the Major in the face over how he treated Devin, and the Major says that he never meant to murder him, only to press him. At Pizza Dragons Dom tells the others only that they leaned on Devin Black and that he went pale when they mentioned Goodman Gray, and the Major shows the octopus dog tag.

===407: Coffee & Cigarettes===
Asked about Devin Black, the barista Sheamus O'Malley says that the name sounds familiar and that he could have worked for the O'Malleys, but he does not remember.

===410: Just Watch the Fireworks===
Billy says that when the group mentioned Goodman Gray's name to Devin Black, "his eyes got real wide."

==Appearances==
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]

==Mentioned==
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Necronomidog

2026-10-27T17:36:38Z

William Jodeit: Link Devon Black in the 603 safe-house line

Necronomidog (AKA Necronomidogavan)

Necronomidog makes a first appearance in The Radio Man [[413: Your House]] and is followed up in The Radio Man [[414: Delivery]].

Whilst investigating the basement once more the Arkham boys hear a strange skittering noise from the first floor of Corbitt's House...is it a head beast, a rat or something more?

In the back dining room there is motion in the darkness, the flashlight beam falls on "something"

Its about the size of a dog, maybe a labrador, it is a combination of a dog and spider (or grasshopper). It has numerous legs, some canine, some something else. It has sharp fangs and it begin to growl. Its eyes light up from the flashlight (torch).

It is another creation of the Frankenstien of Arkham (Corbitt). It is incredibly fast as it races towards [[Tallahassee Turner]] and [[Dom Druncard]].

They open fire on it, causing some damage, but it escapes, leaping over Tallahassee without injuring him. Dom intends to stab it but it scrambles out of the broken kitchen window into the rain, whimpering as it runs. Dom decides to follow it rather than shoot it and Tallahassee decides to do the same.

It leaps the back fence into the yard beyond. Dom retreats to the house but Tallahassee decides to jump the fences and follow the trail of blood. Hot Fuzz style. Tallahasee leaps the fence like a shining hero, his diamond skin reflecting a single beam of sunlight. Dom badly injured is unable to follow.

Screams lead Tallahassee to an adjoining house, where "the thing" has cornered a housewife. It is looking for a new exit. Net jokes ensue. Tallahassee's intention is to capture it so uses his bull whip to tangle up the dog thing. He is going to whip it "longways". As far as the housewife is concerned a man gloriously bursts in, diamond skin glimmering and says "Don't worry baby I got this". She will tell her children and children's children for five generations about the mysterious diamond man.

He captures it and he now has a spider dog, which he takes back to his house. Tallahassee finds an old dog kennel, tries to patch up its injuries and leaves it some food and water. He has always wanted a dog, and now he has one, he thinks its cute and loveable.

The name Necronomidog came about from the Patreon chat.

CURRENTLY

Necronomidog makes his next appearance in Blood Horn Blues [[603: The Disembodied Artist]] as Tallahasee's companion. He has by now morphed into something less horrible and more dog like, but with spider legs and six tongues. He is heroic in the face of the Axe Man trying to protect Tallahasee and is injured again. Tallahasee takes him to the safe house where Necro and [[Devon Black]] are patched up, although Devon loses a hand and Necro loses another leg, and maybe a tongue.

403: I Will Steal You Back

2026-10-27T17:36:33Z

William Jodeit: Remove the claim that Dr. Doyle died of exposure at his home; Sylvester now only recalls a hospital doctor, Dr. Doyle, who died a few weeks earlier

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[402: Criminal Energy]] left off. Tallahassee has been grabbed by a second boater outside the diner and blacked out, but the group has already piled into Billy's car, so [[Billy McConnell]], [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], [[Major Bakersfield]] and [[Dom Druncard]] drive back to the Pawn and Prawns without him. The glass in the front door is smashed, and the shop's owner, Hiram Hopkins, is wandering around picking things up. Billy goes in alone, introduces himself as a detective and shows Hiram the receipt. Hiram says that the dead man, "John Johnson," came in three times, once with a younger, well-dressed man with sleek black hair, and left with the shop's last radios in exchange for a watch he called mediocre. Billy's Psychology roll shows that Hiram is leaving something out, and the ledger says the watch was worth about ten thousand dollars in today's money. Hiram goes looking for the watch and says it must be missing, which the group's own break-in explains. Billy hints that the patrolman on his way to take Hiram's statement might get lost, but his Persuade roll fails, so he calls the others in.

Dom offers the group's contacts in the less respectable parts of Arkham, and the Major pulls out his 1911 and gets in Hiram's face, rolling Intimidate with a bonus die. Hiram cracks and hands out a bucket of prawns. He admits that he lied about the watch: it was not Johnson's, because the well-dressed man, about thirty years old, five foot ten, with black hair and blue eyes, was wearing it when he came in with him. It was a custom piece, and Hiram says the only local watchmaker he knows who could have made it is Cortex Studios. As the group leaves, a different patrolman arrives and says that someone from robbery is on the way. In the car, the Major wonders whether Mayor Sidel is connected to the "RG" on the watch and suggests finding out who works closely with the mayor, but the others prefer to track down the original buyer through the watchmaker.

As they head back toward the diner, an in-world radio report from Orchard Run, near Dunwich, has reporter Charles-Ode interviewing Sheriff Russell Trombly about two men, Dr. Webb and Clem Taylor, who were found cut in half lengthwise and burnt as if in an oven, and asking for information about Mary Laker and Billy Esterhouse. Back at the diner, [[Ezra Denny]] tells them that something is wrong with Tallahassee again: he is lying like a log, breathing, with a steady heartbeat, and scaring the customers. Ezra says that he was wrestling with a hobo outside until Ezra chased the man off. Simeon casts Command on him twice with no effect, and the Keeper does not say why. The group splits: Dom and the Major take the watch to Cortex Studios, and Billy and Simeon carry Tallahassee to the medical examiner at Miskatonic.

The medical examiner, Dr. Jared Sylvester, has John Johnson's body on the table. Tallahassee is laid on top of the body, and Sylvester says he is just asleep, much like the "boaters" who have been turning up around the city: people who are alive but cannot be woken, and who only talk about the ferryman taking a ride. Billy learns that Johnson died of exposure and severe dehydration, with an empty stomach and little blood. Johnson also has four stab wounds that were not the cause of death, and Sylvester says they look very much like the wounds on the Major's wife about five weeks earlier. Billy mentions the empty caffeine bottle found at the apartment, and Sylvester doubts that caffeine killed him. Sylvester recalls that a doctor from the hospital, Dr. Doyle, died a few weeks ago, and says he will dig out the file. He hands over a fingerprint card, and smelling salts do nothing for Tallahassee. As they carry Tallahassee out, Simeon sees a dark figure at the edge of his vision that is gone when he turns, and Billy feels a cold chill and shrugs it off. Billy then tries Command himself, adds a d10 to his POW roll to put extra force behind the word "wake," and wins the opposed roll when Tallahassee's fails. In his unconscious state, Tallahassee is wandering a barren landscape under an alien sky filled with strange structures of lightning, when a familiar voice, soft and yet loud, echoes from far away and speaks a word. The episode ends there.

==Funny Moments==

* Billy hints to Hiram that the patrolman might "get lost on the way over here" unless he is completely truthful. The table cheers on the idea of getting rid of "the insurance man," and one player says, "Insurance men go missing every day."
* Hiram offers prawns at every turn. When Billy says he has just come from Pizza Dragons, Hiram praises the place, and the table agrees that the Grand Slams "are a Grand Slam" and that the cook will "go places."
* The Major draws his 1911 as a badge, and a player says that does not sound like Major Bakersfield. He then rolls Intimidate with a bonus die and announces, "53 out of 67... otherwise it would have been 93."
* After being threatened at gunpoint, Hiram answers by offering a bucket of prawns, which the table eats raw, praising how delicious they are. He says he scoops them out of the river with buckets, and the table agrees that they smell like prawns.
* The patrolman says that "some real sick freaks did this," and the group warmly agrees, suggesting the Fratellis, whom the patrolman says he knows, and a "big brick to break the window."
* When Simeon's Command fails to wake Tallahassee, a player asks whether he can use his second successful roll instead, and the Keeper replies with a flat "Nope."
* At the morgue Billy says, "Yeah, that's my stiff. I got another stiff right here," and then adds that the second one is not dead. The examiner asks if it is a food coma, and a player says, "He's on those Grand Slams."
* Sylvester says that Johnson looks as if he had been crawling across the Sahara. When Simeon asks about prawns in the stomach, a player declares "100%, game over," and "Dr. Simeon does it again."
* [[Dom Druncard]] says he is not letting the watch out of his sight: "You have any idea how much booze this can buy?"
* Billy's Command takes the Keeper through a string of references to focusing his will "like a bar of steel," and the table argues about whether the phrase comes from Rammstein or from ''Atlas Shrugged.'' The Keeper says, "I'm covering a lot of references here."

==Notable Quotes==

* "Would you like some prawns?" —Hiram Hopkins
* "Look man, I don't want things to get messy here any more than you do." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "You know how I got this one eye?" —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "I'm not letting this watch out of my sight." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "Yeah, that's my stiff. I got another stiff right here." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "It looks like he's been crawling across the Sahara." —Dr. Jared Sylvester
* "All they ever do is talk about the boatman, the ferryman taking a ride." —Dr. Jared Sylvester
* "These wounds look... eerily similar..." —Dr. Jared Sylvester
* "Oh, hey there, buddy." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Wakey, wakey." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "Now I'm good, thanks." —[[Tallahassee Turner]]

Devin Black

2026-10-27T17:15:01Z

William Jodeit: Redirect to Devon Black

#REDIRECT [[Devon Black]]

Raymond Goddard

2026-10-27T17:15:00Z

William Jodeit: New NPC page for Raymond Goddard (402 RG watch, 404, 405, 406, 407, 408, 410)

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First mentioned in: [[404: Episode IV]]

First appeared in: [[408: In the Same Room]]

Raymond Goddard is a young man of the Goddard family, which the watchmaker Jelty calls an old, very wealthy and influential Arkham family. He is the owner of the wristwatch engraved "RG" that the investigators take from the Pawn and Prawns in [[Radio Man]]. The group spends several episodes looking for him, and when they finally see him he is a frightened patient in the psychiatric ward of Arkham Hospital, raving about a shadow and the radios, and he is stabbed to death by invisible wounds in front of them. He is not the same man as [[Devon Black]], who pretends to be Raymond in [[405: Be Sensible]].

==Season 4: Radio Man==
===402: Criminal Energy===
Dom finds a fine wristwatch with a black leather band engraved "RG" in a locked drawer at the Pawn and Prawns and keeps it. The table spends the episode guessing who the "RG" might be.

===404: Episode IV===
At Cortex Studios on West Armitage Street, the owner, Jelty, identifies the watch as belonging to Raymond Goddard of the Goddard family. He believes that Raymond's parents bought the watch for him, says that Raymond is an adult man, and hands over a piece of paper with Raymond's address, which is on the south side of town in another well-off area. When Dom and the Major ask whether he knows Raymond, the Major asks "Does everybody love Raymond?" and Jelty answers, "As far as I know, everybody loves Raymond."

===405: Be Sensible===
Dom and the Major go to Raymond's address, a fenced starter home with a badly overgrown lawn. The man who answers the door claims to be Raymond Goddard, but he turns out to be [[Devon Black|Devin Black]]. Devin admits that Raymond has been missing for about a week and that he is looking for him, says that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to the rest of them, and says nothing when asked whether Raymond works for the mayor, though he looks very nervous. The Major tells him that his parents bought him a watch engraved with his initials.

===406: Pain===
While the group is in Raymond's house, the neighbor Bryce Gantt knocks and says that he has not seen Ray around and that he could have sworn he heard screaming from inside the house. Dom tells him that Mr. Goddard is back from his holiday and wants his new furnishings.

===407: Coffee & Cigarettes===
Asked about the Goddards, Sheamus O'Malley says that they think they are better than everyone but that the money is just as dirty, and that as far as he knows they are not tied up with the O'Malleys. Describing a younger man in his twenties with slicked-back black hair, fine clothes and a nice watch, he says that he is pretty sure the man described is Raymond Goddard. In the pockets of Harman Vance's jacket the group finds a folded note that reads "take out the trash," gives an address and is signed RG. The address is not the one Sheamus gave for Harman's apartment, and it is not Raymond's house on the south side of town.

===408: In the Same Room===
[[Billy McConnell|Billy]] and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] see Detective Crane at the hospital reception desk with a very finely dressed older gentleman, the elder Mr. Goddard, who is never named in the episode. Crane says that the night before, they picked the man up downtown fighting with a bunch of hobos and brought him to the hospital instead of the police station so that nothing would go on record. Billy finds Raymond's name and room number in the admittance papers, and Simeon walks into the room posing as the staff psychologist.

Raymond is a young man in his mid-twenties who was handsome but now looks disheveled, with messy black hair, sunken cheeks and bags under his eyes. He calls Mr. Goddard dad. He rants about the shadow thing and the radios, says that he needs a radio and that Harman knew all about it, was onto it and asked for a radio. He says that the shadow has been after him for days, that he cannot sleep, that he has been going from place to place and cannot go home, and that it finds him everywhere. He says that he is not crazy and does not need a shrink, and that a radio is how he knows when it is coming. When the radio in Billy's pocket bursts into static and a voice that sounds like it says Raymond, he goes silent and limp. Simeon sees the figure of a shadow above his head, and then blood appears on Raymond's shirt as invisible wounds stab into his chest, one after another. Billy casts Command and says "return," and the roll succeeds, but it has no effect. Raymond Goddard is stabbed to death by unseen wounds in front of everyone.

===410: Just Watch the Fireworks===
Simeon and Billy recall that the last thing they remember is Raymond Goddard being stabbed by an invisible attacker at the hospital. Dom names him as one of the victims so far, along with Elizabeth Bakersfield, John Johnson (the fake name Harman Vance used) and Dr. Doyle.

==Appearances==
*[[408: In the Same Room]]

==Mentioned==
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Devon Black

2026-10-27T17:14:58Z

William Jodeit: Expand the Devon Black stub into a character page (also spelled Devin) covering 405, 406, 407 and 410

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]] and [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[The Fall of New Jerusalem]]

Devon Black, also spelled Devin Black, is a man in his mid-twenties, short and stocky, with sandy brown hair and a blunt face, who wears an overcoat and a hat. In [[Radio Man]] he turns up at [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house pretending to be Raymond. He says that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to "the rest of them," and he carries a dog tag with an octopus-like creature inside a circle, which leads the Major to say that he works for [[Goodman Gray]]. The spelling of his name is never given, so both forms appear on this wiki.

==Season 4: Radio Man==
===405: Be Sensible===
When [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] arrive at Raymond Goddard's overgrown house, a man makes eye contact with Dom through a window and opens the door part way. He says that he is Raymond Goddard and asks whether they have a badge. He does not match the tall, athletic, handsome, nicely dressed man the pawnbroker described. The Major draws his 1911 and shoves his way in, and a brick comes sailing through the front window. A Psychology check shows that the man looks genuinely confused when Dom asks about the watch. The Major finds a wallet with a license in the name Devin Black, with an address that is not this house.

Devin reaches for his coat pocket, but the Major kicks his legs out from under him and sends his gun flying. He refuses to talk until the Major roughs him up, and Dom begs him to tell the truth. He admits that he is not Raymond, says that Raymond has been missing for about a week and that he is looking for him, and claims to be a friend who works at a club downtown called Dolly's, which a Psychology roll shows is a lie. He says that "the people we work for" will kill him, that it is not about money and that they have "a cause," that he answers to Raymond and that Raymond answers to the rest of them. He says that they are looking into the boaters too and do not know what is going on with them, that there is another party on the scene, and that he was contacted by someone he does not know and told to find Raymond. When Dom asks whether he works for the mayor, he goes silent and says that he does not, and when asked whether Raymond does, he says nothing and looks very nervous. He says that he does not know who Elizabeth Bakersfield is.

Searching him, the Major finds a switchblade and the octopus dog tag, says "You work for Goodman Gray," and Devin goes dead white and asks how the Major knows Gray. When he starts to struggle, the Major knocks him unconscious. Dom says that he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, and tells the Major to tie Devin up before a knock comes at the door.

===406: Pain===
While Dom answers the door to the neighbor, Bryce Gantt, the Major carries the unconscious Devin into the hallway and lays him on the stairs. The group decides that there is no use in bringing him along, and he is left tied up in the house. Dom then slaps the Major in the face over how he treated Devin, and the Major says that he never meant to murder him, only to press him. At Pizza Dragons Dom tells the others only that they leaned on Devin Black and that he went pale when they mentioned Goodman Gray, and the Major shows the octopus dog tag.

===407: Coffee & Cigarettes===
Asked about Devin Black, the barista Sheamus O'Malley says that the name sounds familiar and that he could have worked for the O'Malleys, but he does not remember.

===410: Just Watch the Fireworks===
Billy says that when the group mentioned Goodman Gray's name to Devin Black, "his eyes got real wide."

==Appearances==
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]

==Mentioned==
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Alex Morrison

2026-10-27T17:14:56Z

William Jodeit: Add Raymond Goddard to Characters Played

Usually the keeper. Prefers Doctor Pepper which may or may not be evidence of latent sociopathy.

==Characters Played==

*[[Captain Runch]]
*[[Crawdad Costa Rica]]
*[[Dan Keelhan]]
*[[Devon Black]]
*[[Ezra Denny]]
*[[Mary the Hoebag]]
*[[Mister Corbitt]]
*[[Mitch Larsen]]
*[[Raymond Goddard]]
*[[Hobos|Montgomery Mall]]
*[[Hobos|Hoboseph Joe]]
*[[Grant Jameson]]
*[[John the Orderly]]
*[[Ike Watson's Gang]]
*[[Rondo Corto]]
*[[Percival Warthrop]]
*[[Goodman Gray]]
*[[Mayor Jedediah Marsh]]
*[[Constable Zeke Dawkins]]
*[[Mr. Carlford Nichols]]
*Sheriff Terrick Cobb
*[[Shen]]

Characters

2026-10-27T17:14:49Z

William Jodeit: Add Raymond Goddard to the character list

==Main Storyline Characters==

*[[Tallahassee Turner]]
*[[Major Bakersfield]]
*[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz]]
*[[Billy McConnell]]
*[[Dom Druncard]]
*[[Mister Corbitt the Character| Mister Corbitt]]
*[[Shrimp Puerto Rico]]
*[[Mary the Hoebag]]
*[[Dan Keelhan]]
*[[Ezra Denny]]
*[[Devon Black]]
*[[Raymond Goddard]]
*[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]]
*[[Mathon]]
*[[Drandy Savage]]
*[[Glen Ghoulia]]
*[[Major Bakerscat]]
*[[Grant Jameson]]
*[[Mitch Larsen]]
*[[Crawdad Costa Rica]]
*[[Randolph Tomaszewski]]
*[[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth Beth]]
*[[Amelia Webb]]
*[[Dr. Webb]]
*[[Jake]]
*[[Frank Kovach]]
*[[Miss Witherspoon]]
*[[John the Orderly]]
*[[Ike Watson's Gang]]
*[[Rondo Corto]]
*[[Percival Warthrop]]
*[[Goodman Gray]]
*[[Mayor Jedediah Marsh]]
*[[Mayor Sidel]]
*[[Constable Zeke Dawkins]]

==Side Mission Characters==

*[[Captain Runch]]
*[[John Marcone]]
*[[Reginald McBusterCloud]]
*[[William 'Gill' McGann]]

*[[Cameron Bueller]]
*[[Ferris Lightman]]
*[[Bob McKenzie]]
*[[Brand Tannen]]
*[[M. Tater Tuts]]

*[[Fred Landers]]
*[[Mr. Carlford Nichols]]
*[[Dr. Heinrich Schnitzel]]
*[[Phil McGann]]
*[[Prof. Victoria Chapman]]

*[[Stiff Ratliffe]]
*[[Dohaven Bolabo]]
*[[Dylan 'Dill' McGann]]
*[[Ronny Baba Ganoush]]
*[[Edna Birdwhistle]]

*[[Tennessee Twister]]
*[[Duck Carliday]]
*[[Dallas Donronamo]]
*[[Paw MacGruff]]
*[[Massachussets Marvin]]

*[[Bobby Dean]]
*[[D'Angus MacGuyver]]
*[[Floyd Belkin]]
*[[Jill McGann]]
*[[Larry Magnum]]
*[[James Oben]]

*[[Deuce McGuffin]]
*[[Karl Malone]]
*[[Flint Westwood]]
*[[Skeet Fluter]]

*[[Captain Jackson Hughes]]
*[[Don Claude]]
*[[Van Sam]]
*[[Paul Hindenberg]]
*[[Michael Berry]]

*[[Vincenzo Moretti]]
*[[John Mandrake]]
*[[Van Helsing]]
*[[Captain Magnus Connery]]
*[[Ivan Grozni]]

*[[Skill McGann]]

*[[Drak Gossett Junior]]
*[[Donnie Bowie]]
*[[Davidge Quaid]]
*[[Spill McGann]]
*[[Nigel Copperbottom the Third]]
*[[Hobos|Montgomery Mall]]
*[[Hobos|Hoboseph Joe]]

Goodman Gray

2026-10-27T17:14:48Z

William Jodeit: Link Devin Black and Raymond Goddard

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[308: Infestation]]

A deliberately forgettable man in a gray suit who speaks with an English accent. He leads a rival group operating around New Jerusalem, with men of his own at the old Motley Hill Sanatorium and more back in town. His black Packard appears to be the same car the investigators saw at the cemetery in [[305: The Shining... Skin]].

In [[308: Infestation]] the investigators find his Packard and a box truck parked outside the sanatorium. Gray steps out to calm a standoff between [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] and one of his men, and already knows the investigators by name. He denies being an associate of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]] but calls himself an "interested party" in Corbitt's research. His people believe the creature has dug tunnels beneath the sanatorium and is raising a brood there. After [[Dom Druncard|Dom]] proposes sharing information, Gray agrees to work together to cull the creatures and renegotiate afterward. He dodges questions about his organization and claims to know the mayor only in passing, though [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] suspects he knows the mayor better than he admits. The investigators suspect he wants to capture at least one creature alive. When screams erupt from the basement, Gray hesitates for the first time, then flees in the Packard while his remaining henchman takes the box truck.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he arrives in the New Jerusalem town square with Constable Zeke Dawkins just as the mayor is about to reveal who he works for. A single word from Gray, "stop," freezes the mayor in place. Gray says that most of his associates died at the Motley Hill Sanatorium and proposes a temporary partnership against the coming horde, mentioning that he has a flamethrower.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he cuts off the mayor's confession and denies any knowledge of the lab. He claims that the men in suits found there were agents he had sent weeks earlier who never reported back, and that the sanatorium was his first encounter with the creatures. He and his four remaining men then join the defense of Denny's, where his men hand over their flamethrower.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] Dr. Simeon overhears him at Denny's offering Constable Zeke Dawkins a place in his organization. He says that the mayor has outlived his usefulness now that the creature has been acquired, and asks Dawkins to deal with that loose end before the night is over.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he waits unarmed and unusually calm as the defenders of Denny's brace for the attack.

In [[314: The Siege]] he kills a creature at a window of Denny's Tavern with a muttered spell, then leads his men up the stairs as the defenses collapse.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he recognizes the alpha, drops a creature attacking Tallahassee Turner with a whispered spell and watches in disbelief as Dom Druncard takes control of the alpha.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he escapes the collapsing tavern alongside the investigators with the last two of his men.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] the Keeper says that he and his group seem to have vanished during the final stand against the creatures at New Jerusalem.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] the Major finds an octopus dog tag on [[Devon Black|Devin Black]], a man posing as [[Raymond Goddard]], and says "You work for Goodman Gray." Devin goes dead white and asks how the Major knows Gray.

In [[406: Pain]] the Major says that [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] works for Goodman Gray, and Dom says that killing Devin would not hurt Gray. At Pizza Dragons Dom tells the others that Devin went pale when they mentioned the name, and the Major shows them the octopus dog tag, which the group recognizes from Goodman Gray's crew in New Jerusalem. The Major says that the mayor and Goodman Gray are definitely involved.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] a player asks the barista Sheamus O'Malley whether he has ever heard the name Goodman Gray. Sheamus says he has not and that the clean-cut, secretive people who come looking for muscle never give names, though he reacts with alarm to the dog tag symbol, tells the group not to flash it around and calls the people bad news.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] Billy says that when they mentioned Goodman Gray's name to [[Devon Black|Devin Black]], "his eyes got real wide."

==Appearances==
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]

==Mentioned==
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Mary the Hoebag

2026-10-27T17:14:46Z

William Jodeit: Link Devin Black in the 406 line

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Deadlight]]

A waitress in the town's only diner and a hoebag. She pulled a gun on the player characters and shot [[Tallahassee Turner]] in [[205: Lights Out]], culminating in the team feeding her to the Deadlight. RIP hoebag. In [[202: The Good Doctor]], she is revealed to know Amelia Webb, a regular at the cafe.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] she is nowhere to be found, and no one sees her leave the cafe. Dom suggests she is connected to the sack-headed man, whose wallet held a picture of her. Dan Keelhan says she has a boyfriend, Clem Taylor, who may be the sack-headed man from [[202: The Good Doctor]].

In [[205: Lights Out]] she is found in the office of the gas station standing over Amelia with a gun, claiming that none of this was supposed to happen and that nobody was supposed to get hurt. She is tackled by Dom, disarmed by Billy and handcuffed by the Major. The ritual symbol drawn on her forehead then draws the dead light into her eyes, and she is burned to ash before the light pours into the coffer.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] she appears in Tallahassee's nightmare, first as a body among the soldiers he has slain on San Juan Hill and then holding the group at gunpoint again, asking whether he will catch the bad guy or help his friend. Tallahassee's amnesia has left him with only a hazy memory of her death.

In [[406: Pain]] the Major brings her up in an argument with Dom over the way he treated [[Devon Black|Devin Black]], asking whether it is worse than what they "that poor little woman" and calling her "Mary from the diner." The Keeper does not say any more about her.

==Appearances==
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]

==Mentioned==
*[[406: Pain]]

Simeon Kantstandyerbitz

2026-10-27T17:14:44Z

William Jodeit: Link Raymond Goddard

Played by: [[Donovan Bollard]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A psychologist who works at the [[Miskatonic University]] with Dr. [[Shrimp Puerto Rico]]. Rescued his brother [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]] from a parallel universe in [[Keeper of the Ways]]. Murdered [[Mitch Larsen]] in [[The Hollows]].

Psychology is a soft science. Everybody knows that.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is known as Dr. Simeon (also spelled Cantstandya in the episode synopses), a neighbor of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]] whose house is the investigators' usual meeting point. He lives with his wife, [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. Obsessed with the supernatural since seeing his younger brother vanish into a mirror, he is the investigators' scientist and its most reckless experimenter.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Simeon is at the gathering at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house, and he and Tallahassee see what looks like a human hand when Corbitt drops one of his packages.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
The night surveillance begins at his house. He vaults the fence with surprising athleticism, hides in Corbitt's greenhouse when the light comes on, and finds numerous exotic plants not native to the region.

===103: Usual Suspects===
He and [[Major Bakersfield]] go back into Corbitt's yard and into the house. They are caught on the staircase by a police officer and arrested with the others. The detectives also question Simeon at the station.

===104: Attic Window===
He hosts the group in his home. After the bone cannot be identified by repeated biology rolls and a long search of his library, he and Bakersfield take it to Dr. Puerto Rico at Miskatonic University.

===105: Radical Medicine===
He goes with Bakersfield to the army surplus store. When they find Tallahassee wandering naked under Corbitt's influence, he distracts him with a bizarre seductive dance while Bakersfield deploys the net. He is a shirtless man in suspenders in Tallahassee's hazy memories.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
When the others bring back the occult book ''True Magic'' and a vial of neon-purple liquid from Tomaszewski's apartment, Simeon drinks the remaining liquid himself. It sends him to an alien astral realm of blasted landscape, multiple moons, jagged crystal growths and rose-colored lightning, where merely being there costs him Sanity and permanently increases his Cthulhu Mythos knowledge. True to form, he studies it, and pees on the crystals to see what happens. A towering spider-like monster charges him, impales him through the shoulder, and he escapes only by spending luck and stabbing it in the face with a jagged crystal shard. The episode ends with the creature leaping down on him.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Back in the real world, invisible puncture wounds tear open his body and his shoulder dislocates. In the vision he stabs the creature in the eye and is pulled back into his body just before a fatal strike. He wakes on his kitchen floor with his wife entering the room to find him in a pool of blood. He is taken to the hospital with a separated shoulder and several stab wounds, and his arm is in a sling for about six weeks. The next morning he calls [[Shrimp Puerto Rico|Dr. Gutierrez]] about the bone and the vial. Asked why he drank it, he says it was for science, and he tells the group why he is driven: when his younger brother was thirteen, he saw a flash of grayish-purple light from the mirror his brother was looking in and the boy was sucked in, and has not been seen since. (His brother is [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]].) He proposes making Corbitt drink the vial. His wife, once told the whole story, becomes enthusiastic about the cause, and the group settles on breaking in once Corbitt leaves the house.

===108: Head of the Beast===
Simeon does not appear in the episode proper; he is credited in the introduction only.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Simeon rides with Billy to bring the handcuffed Corbitt back to the house. In the basement, he is hit with a bout of temporary madness at the sight of the creature, and flees into the lab to smash the lights and cower in the dark, saying that "there is only safety in the dark". He recovers once the creature is dead. In the epilogue he returns to his wife with new affection and respect, and a badly shaken mind, needing time to recover from learning how much stranger reality is than he had imagined.

==Notable quotes==

* "I'm not a psychologist tonight."
* "No psychologists were injured in the recording of this episode."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he runs past the dead light in the cottage hallway, spending Luck on a Dodge against two tendrils that scorch the wall behind him. He then goes to the truck for dynamite and Dom's liquor to make a Molotov cocktail.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he lights a Molotov cocktail in the back of the truck and takes two tendril hits from the dead light, which leaves him at two hit points until a lightning strike drives the light into the woods. At the cafe he demands to talk to Mary and later reads Jake with a psychology roll, finding that he is simply terrified.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he stays behind in a booth at the cafe, tending to his wounds at two hit points, while the others go to the gas station.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he first suggests that the group take time to recover, but after the Major's story he rallies Tallahassee, asking whether he wants to live his adventures or just write about them, and vows to go forward whatever it takes. The Keeper notes that he may be able to treat Tallahassee's indefinite insanity with psychoanalysis.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he repeatedly climbs out of the truck to use his Psychology on Mayor Jedediah Marsh and senses that the Mayor is hiding something, which leads the others to suggest that he be renamed "can't stay in the car." He stays at the Shofar newspaper office with Tallahassee to search the archives for missing persons reports.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he searches the Shofar's archives and finds a June 27th, 1925 article about a "phantom fire" near the cemetery. His attempt to psychoanalyze the panicking Tallahassee fails with a roll of 92, and after seeing the photographs he loses 4 Sanity. He opens the door of Mordecai Shep's shack, reads aloud two of Corbitt's letters, concludes that Corbitt and Mordecai built a laboratory and practiced necromancy, and finally succeeds at a Spot Hidden in the tavern.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] his Psychology roll reveals that Percival Warthrop is lying when he claims to know nothing about monstrumology, and he later asks Percival whether he is thirsty for violence. At breakfast he chats up the widow Delilah Bevins, who tells him about her missing friend Hannah Russell, and he trades insults with her son Zachary, who calls psychology a soft science. When a hanged cat is found in the truck, he admits that he dreamed of a dead cat in the truck that spoke the word "Carcosa." At the cemetery, he makes a hard success on a Spot Hidden and finds smoke streaks around the door of J.G. Faust's tomb.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he translates the Latin inscription on J.G. Faust's tomb and presses in the words "as above, so below" to help open it. In the laboratory below, a hard success on Psychoanalysis brings Tallahassee Turner out of his hallucination, but he cannot identify the squid-headed symbol on the dog tag found among the bodies.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he helps sift the burned papers from the laboratory on the drive to the Russell farm. He suggests staying in the truck with Billy McConnell and Percival Warthrop to keep researching, and he hands out the anatomy sketch, the symbol fragment and the parthenogenesis projection while the others search the farm.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he races Billy McConnell to the barn when the shots ring out. He studies the burned fragment and recognizes its symbols as binding runes, which Major Bakersfield confirms. He then helps Percival Warthrop with the autopsy.

In [[308: Infestation]] he studies Corbitt's notes on the drive. Outside the Motley Hill Sanatorium he calculates that the creatures have likely multiplied to about 43: four adults, around twenty adolescents and roughly nineteen infants. During the escape from the basement, he hurls a Molotov cocktail perfectly onto the lead creature, setting it ablaze and driving the others back.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he insists that the group warn New Jerusalem before nightfall. In the town square he dumps the infant creature's corpse on the cobblestones, shows off its teeth, and gives Ish Graves a tooth to use as proof. He then begins casting his summoning spell.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he persuades the town butcher to help him lay a trail of meat and blood through the square toward Denny's to draw the creatures in.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he overhears Goodman Gray arranging the mayor's death. With Percival Warthrop and Dom providing a distraction, he casts a command spell for the first time and forces the mayor to name who has been paying him.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he takes up a rifle position at one of the gun holes in Denny's.

In [[313: The Arrival]] his beef trail draws the creatures onto the first booby trap, and he mans a gun hole at Denny's while objecting that the flamethrower will burn the building down.

In [[314: The Siege]] he knocks an adult creature unconscious with Smiting Blast of the Foul One from the window of Denny's Tavern, helps Billy McConnell drag Ike Watson toward the stairs and casts Command on one of the creatures inside.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he fails to seize control of the alpha through Corbitt's runes, then casts Command on Billy McConnell and pushes the spell through Billy's will to break his panic.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he helps Billy McConnell carry Ike Watson out of the collapsing tavern, directs the controlled alpha toward the dead light and retrieves the silver coffer.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he wakes from a nightmare of crystal pillars and a giant spider creature to a call from Billy McConnell at about 3 a.m. At the Riverview Apartments he follows a low static hiss to the freezer of a dead man's apartment, pulls out a small cordless radio that is still hissing, and finds a pawn receipt for "John Johnson" stuck to its back. The Keeper also says that his brother [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Timeon]] is now home safe.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he throws a paving stone through the front glass door of the Pawn and Prawns after the group wastes time arguing over the barred back windows. At the diner he sees a dark figure over his left shoulder as he opens the stolen ledger, but it vanishes when he turns and no one else saw it. By spending Luck on a Library Use roll, he finds John Johnson's November 18, 1925 entry in the ledger, and he says that the lack of blood and the decomposition make the medical examiner's opinion worth hearing.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he casts Command on the unconscious Tallahassee at the diner and again at the medical examiner's, spending a magic point and a point of sanity, but nothing happens either time. He rides with Billy to Miskatonic and asks Dr. Jared Sylvester whether there were prawns in the dead man's stomach. He also argues that the empty caffeine bottle means the man was not sleeping, which he says is obviously supernatural. As the group carries Tallahassee out, he glimpses a dark figure at the edge of his vision that vanishes when he turns.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he copies Billy's calm focus and casts Command on the unconscious Tallahassee, winning the contested roll, and his voice reaches Tallahassee in the other world. Back in the car he says that he has met Runch before and asks about Dr. Doyle's records, learning that Doyle was the hospital's administrator and is dead. He counts three similar cases, John Johnson, Doyle and Mrs. Bakersfield, and warns that the group should be careful with anyone who knows about the ferryman, since there is clearly a connection to "the soy sauce."

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he goes with Billy and Tallahassee to the Arkham police station, and the Keeper has him roll Spot Hidden as a radio somewhere in the station fills with static. Billy sends him and Tallahassee to wait outside, and he is let in through a side entrance to help search the records room, where the three of them roll Library Use together with two bonus dice and land a hard success.

In [[406: Pain]] he searches the police records with Billy and Tallahassee until the three find a fingerprint match, and leaves by the side door. At Pizza Dragons the Keeper has him roll a d10 for something forgotten earlier, and he rolls Psychology while Dom and the Major describe their visit to [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house; the Keeper tells him that everything Dom says is the honest truth. When the group splits up he chooses to go with Billy to the hospital, saying it is a safer bet for him. There he introduces himself to Nurse Witherspoon as Billy's psychologist, asks about her relationship with Dr. Doyle, smooths over Billy's remarks, and wins a hard Persuade to get her to let them search Dr. Doyle's office.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he searches Dr. Doyle's office at Arkham Hospital with Billy while Nurse Witherspoon is out of the room. He rolls a 01 on Spot Hidden, which the Keeper rules a success, and twice glimpses a shadowy figure at the edge of his sight while the radio in Billy's pocket plays static. He tells Billy that he heard the voice on the radio and saw the figure moving toward him, and wonders whether whatever it is can travel unseen or through some other dimension. He memorizes the addresses on a stamped paper from the stack of employee forms, then helps question Nurse Witherspoon about Dr. Doyle's book on hauntings.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he and Billy are walking through the hospital's reception area when he overhears Detective Crane tell the elder Mr. Goddard that he is back here. After a failed disguise roll, he walks into [[Raymond Goddard]]'s room with a clipboard as the staff psychologist and gets past the nurse with a successful roll. He examines Raymond, who rants about a shadow and the radios, and tells him that, as a psychologist, he would say that Raymond does need a shrink. When the radio flares up he tells the elder Mr. Goddard that this is beyond his skill set, then sees the figure of a shadow next to Raymond's head and asks whether his Smiting Blast of the Foul One would work on a spirit. He tells Billy exactly where it is, right above Raymond's head, and watches as Raymond is stabbed by unseen wounds. After he and Billy slip out in the commotion, both fail their sanity rolls and sit down in the reception chairs in shock.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he is found at his desk in his study with a glass of water, staring into it, until the others arrive. He and Billy then recall that the last thing they remember is [[Raymond Goddard]] being stabbed by an invisible attacker at the hospital, followed by missing time. He tells the others that the stab wounds look just like his own and suggests visiting Randolph Tomaszewski in Arkham. When Dom shows him Harman Vance's ID photo, he recognizes the man from his dream that morning, runs upstairs and finds his wife Mary Beth asleep and unwakeable. He loses 1 sanity, tries his Command of the Wizard on her without success, and finally asks Billy to put him to sleep so that he can reach Soyland through his dream as he did that morning. He tells Billy "I wasn't gonna resist you anyways" and falls into a very deep sleep when Billy casts Command of the Wizard on him.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Major Bakersfield

2026-10-27T17:14:36Z

William Jodeit: Name Elizabeth Brown Bakersfield in the intro; link Raymond Goddard and Devin Black

Played by: [[Sam Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A veteran ravaged by The Great War. Lost his wife, Elizabeth Brown Bakersfield, near the end of [[New Jerusalem]] along with one of his eyes. The hunt for her killer drives his story in [[Radio Man]]. Is not opposed to torturing people.

Owner and proprietor of Guns, Chicks and Ammo.

Really, really likes nice glasses.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is introduced as Major Frederick Aloisius Bakersfield, one of the neighbors who gathers at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house. He is the investigators' arsenal and muscle, and he carries "Old Reliable", a human-catching net.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
While the neighbors visit [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]], the Major snoops through the front of the house. He independently repeats [[Dom Druncard]]'s idea of throwing a hat out of the guest room window and escalates by throwing out a second hat and a pea coat, adding to the growing pile of outerwear on Corbitt's lawn.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
He sets up on the roof of [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house with binoculars and a large period camera. When the light in Corbitt's window comes on he accidentally fires a flash photograph at Corbitt's house, revealing the group's position, then fumbles his stealth roll and slides off the roof into the yard, injuring himself.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Bakersfield and Simeon go back into Corbitt's yard, and when the back door is locked Bakersfield simply kicks it in. They are caught on the staircase by a responding officer and march outside at gunpoint. At the police station he gives the most coherent account of the night: Corbitt arriving with the package, the bone in the garden, and Dom going into the house and never coming out. Tallahassee blames him for breaking his camera.

===104: Attic Window===
He and Simeon research the bone in Simeon's library, then take it to [[Shrimp Puerto Rico|Dr. Puerto Rico]] at Miskatonic University. The photograph from the camera he dropped from the roof shows the face in Corbitt's attic window.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Bakersfield takes Simeon to his army surplus store, where the shopping trip becomes a small private arsenal: revolvers, shotguns, a long gun, rope, first aid gear, a hatchet and dynamite from his personal stash, plus a human-catching net, justified by his "Mr. Nettie Hands" war stories. Back on the road they find Tallahassee wandering naked under Corbitt's influence, and Bakersfield tackles him with the net.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
With [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] and Dom, he tracks Randolph Tomaszewski to Crenshaw and waits in the alley with Old Reliable. When Tomaszewski flees down the fire escape, the Major ambushes him from behind a dumpster, nets him and wrestles him to the ground despite Tomaszewski's switchblade. Tomaszewski is briefly stashed in the car trunk.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
After Simeon drinks the purple vial and collapses, Bakersfield improvises first aid with rags and towels from the kitchen, which stops some of the bleeding, with a further kit from [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. The next morning, when the group talks of blowing up Corbitt's business, he drily remarks "so now you guys want my involvement". He questions why Simeon drank the vial and judges that Simeon is being genuine. The group arms itself with shotguns, revolvers, dynamite and an elephant gun.

===108: Head of the Beast===
In Corbitt's house, Bakersfield searches the main floor for doors, and runs upstairs when Dom is attacked by the head-creature. He tries to grab it, but is unable to pull it off. He searches the attic with Dom, copies down botany notes mentioning a substance called "soma", and, inspired by the journals' references to the basement, re-searches the lower floor and finds a concealed locked panel beside the stairs.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
He keeps his cool at the sight of the creature through sheer wartime nerve, blasts large chunks out of it with his shotgun, and is nearly devoured when it grabs him with several arms. He holds its ringed, tooth-lined maw back by jamming his elephant gun sideways across its mouth until Dom kills it. In the epilogue he goes home to wash up, drinks from one of his nice glasses, and takes Dom back to his house; he settles into the certainty that when something is wrong in the world, his job is to make it right.

==Notable quotes==

* "They didn't call me Mister Catchyhands in the war for nothing."
* "They didn't call me The Actor in the war for nothing."
* "They didn't call me Mister Nettyhands in the war for nothing."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he leads the basement group upstairs, slams the door of Dr. Webb's room as the dead light races toward him, then fires into the ceiling and shouts at it to draw it away from Simeon. His shot at the light from the top of the basement stairs has no effect, though it makes the light pause. He later claims his net was blessed by a priest as "the holy net of Antioch", then takes the silver coffer from Tallahassee and runs outside to open it.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he runs at the dead light with the open silver box to scoop it up like a net, but only burns his fingers for two points of damage. He patches up Simeon, Dom and himself with first aid on the drive to the cafe. He later checks the powder room and follows footprints around the back of the building before losing them in the mud, and bandages the wound on Winifred Brewer's head.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he edges along the wall to help Amelia up while Tallahassee distracts Mary, and later handcuffs Mary after she is tackled. He draws the ritual symbol on her forehead in blood and breaks her nose with a punch when she kicks at him. When Dom is entranced by the dead light, he punches him, shoves Mary to the ground and takes the open coffer from him.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he leads the group to the cabin of his old army friend Grant Jameson, then reveals that three days earlier he questioned Corbitt at the Arkham Sanatorium. Corbitt told him that others were after his work and that the investigators were far behind, so he insists that they leave for New Jerusalem at once. He needles Tallahassee about running when the going gets tough. After the campsite he fails his Sanity roll and finds his Colt in his hand without remembering drawing it.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he joins Tallahassee at the general store and tries to restrain [[Ike Watson's Gang|Ike Watson]] from behind and whisper a warning in his ear, but he fumbles the grab and Ike shoves him into the porch railing. He introduces himself to Mayor Jedediah Marsh as a Great War veteran and urges the group to stick together after spotting Ike and Levi trailing Tallahassee.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he suggests that Ezra Denny call his new all-day breakfast a "grand slam" instead of a "home run," and he becomes the first recipient of a Grand Slam at Denny's. At the Shofar he finds the screaming Tallahassee in the darkroom. After seeing the photos, he points out that the creatures look nothing like the one Corbitt built, orders everyone to stay armed at all times, and calls for "a show of force" at Mordecai Shep's shack. With night falling, he insists that the group sleep in one room for Tallahassee's sake.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he brings the bottle to the group's table with Percival Warthrop and rouses everyone at 0700 hours. He asks Delilah Bevins whether her missing friend Hannah Russell "may have bought the farm," and at the cemetery he leads the way to the tombs on the north side.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he scoops the burned papers from the hidden laboratory into a sack. Shown the strange dog tag from one of the bodies, he says it is no military tag he has ever seen and suggests that it must belong to some top-secret branch of the military.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he searches the wrecked Russell farmhouse with Tallahassee Turner and Dom Druncard. In the barn's storm cellar, his loud caw draws out a headless, shark-mouthed creature. After a moment of shock, he runs up with flashbacks to the trenches, jams his shotgun between the creature's eyes and kills it with a point-blank blast.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he comes out of the root cellar covered in the creature's blood and shows the others the kill. He poses for a photograph with his cavalry saber stuck in the carcass. He also confirms, from his study of the spellbooks, that the runes on the fragment are binding runes.

In [[308: Infestation]] he and Billy McConnell are the first to hear men screaming inside the Motley Hill Sanatorium. During the escape his thrown stick of dynamite slips from his hand and lands at the top of the basement stairs. It explodes just as dozens of creatures burst out of the building.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he draws Old Reliable on Mayor Jedediah Marsh and intimidates him into admitting that he was paid to watch Corbitt and help Goodman Gray. He lights a stick of dynamite to press for more, but Gray arrives and silences the mayor first.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he reveals that he learned a spell from Corbitt's journals that summons a winged beast to obey a single command. As night approaches, he remembers his friend Grant Jameson, holed up in a cabin an hour north. Bound by his vow to the men under his command, he borrows Percival Warthrop's car and leaves to bring Jameson back.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he drives north toward Grant Jameson's cabin, passing the Layton Farm without stopping, and casts Summon the Steed of Stars on the way to call the steed Slotty Botfast. He completes the spell, barely, as he reaches the cabin, while screeches and roars approach through the woods.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he reaches Grant Jameson's cabin and is cut off from his car by the creatures. The two men barricade themselves inside, and Bakersfield kills one creature with a point-blank shotgun blast through the window slats.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he loses his left eye when a dynamite blast blows the windshield of Percival Warthrop's car in on him and Grant Jameson. Half-blinded, he fights off the two remaining creatures at the cabin with his Colt and the car. His summoned steed, Slotty Botfast, crushes the last one and flies both men back toward New Jerusalem.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he flies over the burning town on Slotty Botfast, an eye bandaged, and comes down on the south side of Denny's Tavern as the creatures converge on it.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he rides Slotty Botfast into a creature charging Tallahassee Turner and kills it with both barrels, then leads the group's last stand behind Denny's Tavern and supplies its dynamite. In the episode's closing teaser he returns home to find his wife dead.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he rides in silence to the Riverview Apartments, now with a patch over his missing eye, and says that he has brought his net. He examines the body of a dead man in an apartment full of radios and finds puncture wounds like those of an ice pick, which he tells Billy McConnell look exactly like the ones on the Major's wife.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he joins the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns, searches the shop's ledger and leaves with it. Over breakfast at the diner, the table notes that he is taking his wife's death hard, and the Keeper recalls how he found his wife on the kitchen floor.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he goes with the others to the Pawn and Prawns, where he draws his 1911 on the shop's owner, Hiram Hopkins, and rolls Intimidate with a bonus die until Hiram admits that he lied about the watch. In the car he wonders whether Mayor Sidel is connected to the "RG" on the watch and suggests finding out who works closely with the mayor. He then goes with Dom to take the watch to Cortex Studios. At the morgue, Dr. Jared Sylvester says that John Johnson's stab wounds look very much like those found on the Major's wife about five weeks earlier.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he and Dom drive to Cortex Studios on West Armitage Street, where a row of nice glasses makes him look away in rage and sadness before his face goes blank again. He says he is not worried about posing as police and is there for answers, and asks the watchmaker Jelty about John Johnson and the "Radio Man," and about the boaters. After Jelty names [[Raymond Goddard]] as the watch's owner and gives them his address, the Major says he has heard of the wealthy Goddard family but knows nothing about them. The autopsy report gives his late wife's name as Elizabeth Brown Bakersfield.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he and Dom drive toward the south side of town to [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house. When Dom says he is worried about him after the pawn shop, he answers that he has "never been more dialed in," and that it is personal this time but he is ready. At the house he draws his 1911, pushes his way in and takes a wallet showing that the man who opened the door is [[Devon Black|Devin Black]], not Goddard. He kicks Devin's legs out from under him for an extreme success on Brawl, then spends Sanity to cut his neck and stab him in the shoulder, dropping to 35 Sanity, and asks whether Devin's people killed Elizabeth Bakersfield. He finds a switchblade and a dog tag on Devin and says "You work for Goodman Gray," and when Devin starts to struggle he knocks him unconscious.

In [[406: Pain]] he carries the unconscious [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] into the hallway and lays him on the stairs while Dom answers the door. Dom then slaps him across the face over how he treated Devin, and the two argue: the Major says that he never meant to murder Devin, only to press him, that Dom's way was not working, and that they have done worse, citing what they did to Mary from the diner. At Pizza Dragons he has a welt across his bad eye. He tells the others that the mayor and Goodman Gray are definitely involved, shows the octopus dog tag that was taken from Devin, and goes with Dom and Tallahassee to O'Malley's.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with Dom and Tallahassee to O'Malley's cafe to question the barista Sheamus O'Malley about Harman Vance. He introduces himself as Aloysius Bakersfield, a retired major, tells Sheamus that he is trying to track down his wife's killer, and says that, as the saying goes, the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He asks whether Harman left the O'Malleys' work by his own choice, succeeds on a Psychology roll to see that Sheamus is nervous because he is telling the truth, and gives Sheamus his card. The group finds a note signed RG in Harman's jacket and heads for East Water Street.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with Dom and Tallahassee to the house on East Water Street and goes around the back, reminding them how he caught the Miskatonic Mangler. He wheels the trash can to the front, finds the back door unlocked and opens the front door to let the others in. He fails Spot Hidden twice and trips on a runner carpet that will not move, then helps Dom pull it up to find the blood beneath. He follows the streaks of blood out the back door, fails another Spot Hidden roll and loses the trail in the small fenced backyard that leads to the river and a little pier.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he comes back in from the backyard as Dom phones the Gazette and gives his name to Ricky Dubois over the line. He touches Tallahassee's shimmering skin and calls it "super stiff diamondy skin." He locks the front door while Dom phones the police and suggests that they head out the back door and down toward the river. When the men outside start toward the house he draws his 1911 to cover Tallahassee from the doorway, then runs out the back to look for a boat. After hearing the gunshots he goes to the pier, sees a man in a little boat on the river and waves and shouts for help until the man turns toward him. He runs back to the house to tell the others they have a boat, scoops up the wounded Dom and carries him to the pier, then turns to cover Tallahassee with his 1911. In the boat he rolls a 70 on First Aid and stabilizes Dom, and afterward teases him as a "baby boy" while Dom protests.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he carries the wounded Dom into Simeon's study "like a baby," lays him on the couch and tucks an afghan around him, saying "I already did patch him up." He listens as Dom works through the case and asks what his wife could have had in common with the other victims. When Dom names Randolph Tomaszewski, the Major says "I should have killed him when I had the chance," and points out that Tomaszewski was Corbett's puppet. Later he and the others go after Simeon when he runs out of the study.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Dom Druncard

2026-10-27T17:14:33Z

William Jodeit: Mail for John Johnson is Vance's fake name; link Raymond Goddard and Devin Black

Played by: [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

Also known as Prospero.

Dominic John "Dom" Druncard is one of the neighbors who gathers at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house in [[Mister Corbitt]] and gets pulled into the investigation of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]]. He is the investigator who suffers the most at Corbitt's hands: he is chanted into helplessness, kidnapped, forced into an attic, and later attacked by the thing that lived there, before finally getting a measure of revenge. By the end of the story he has, for the first time in a long while, found people he can trust.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Dom is one of the neighbors enjoying "non-alcoholic water" and jazz at Tallahassee's house when [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]] arrives with his wrapped packages. His attempt at baking cookies for the visit produces charred sludge that the group insists on calling "crumpets". Inside Corbitt's house he snoops "under cover of bathroom breaks" and finds only a closet containing an extremely excellent hat, which fits so perfectly that he throws it out the guest room window for later retrieval. When [[Major Bakersfield]] repeats the idea with another hat and a pea coat, the pile of outerwear on Corbitt's lawn is what nosy neighbor Tom Barber reports to Corbitt.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
During the nighttime surveillance of Corbitt's yard Dom fumbles his climb and falls off the fence, injuring himself; the group then remembers it owns a ladder. When Corbitt's light comes on, Dom hides against the house, then finds the back door unlocked and slips inside. He overhears Corbitt on the telephone reporting prowlers, slips past him, and goes upstairs. In Corbitt's bedroom he finds the book ''Plants and Fungi of the Amazon Basin'' by Dr. P. D. Florence in the nightstand. He then pulls down the squeaky attic ladder and sees a woman's face staring down at him with long dark hair, lifeless eyes and a hanging mouth, which costs him Sanity. Corbitt appears behind him, chanting strange syllables, and Dom fails his POW roll (a running gag has him trying to substitute "handsome" for it). A scream from upstairs ends the episode.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Dom is missing for most of the episode while the others are questioned by Detective Frank Kovach and Detective Burke. He wakes with a pounding head in the trunk of a moving car, hands tied and pockets emptied, and uses a heavy metal bar to lever the trunk open. When the car stops he attacks the driver, a tall, wiry, mean-looking man with a switchblade, in what the table calls the wimpiest fight imaginable. He bull-rushes the man into the car, knocking the switchblade away, and runs. After a chase through the industrial streets he reaches a shop, gets a perfect look at the pursuing car's license plate with a Spot Hidden roll, writes it down, and calls the police.

===104: Attic Window===
Kovach brings Dom to [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house the next morning, and Dom recounts the escape and the license plate. He and [[Billy McConnell]] try to watch Corbitt's house from a window, and Dom crashes into the window while trying to stay stealthy. The plate leads them to [[Randolph Tomaszewski]], an orderly at Central Hospital who had been questioned over pet mutilations. When [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]'s developed photograph shows a woman's face in Corbitt's attic window, Dom's memories return: he had been in the house, seen the face, and been forced into the attic by Corbitt's chanting. He sat there for hours while his friends and then the police searched below without opening the attic door, and he remembers something else moving in the attic with him.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Dom explains that after seeing the face he heard Corbitt chanting and lost control of his body. He and Billy visit Central Hospital, where they speak to nurse Miss Witherspoon and the superintendent, Dr. Doyle, and learn that Tomaszewski was fired after being linked to the pet mutilation case and that he used to dispose of amputated limbs in the hospital incinerator. Doyle supplies Tomaszewski's address, 143 Crenshaw, Apartment 4B.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
Dom, Billy and Major Bakersfield track [[Randolph Tomaszewski]] to Crenshaw. Dom recognizes him the moment he opens the door as the man who abducted him, and when the Major nets him in the alley Dom delivers a "deeply personal revenge kick" to the ribs. Tomaszewski confesses that Corbitt ordered Dom's abduction and murder and that he is the Miskatonic Mangler. In his apartment Dom recognizes the book ''True Magic'' by C. Adolphus Renwen as a real and serious work on occult rituals rather than the usual fraud. He and the Major bring the book and the purple vial to Simeon's house.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Dom is one of the three investigators (with [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] and [[Major Bakersfield]]) watching over [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Simeon]] after he drinks the purple vial, and he witnesses the invisible wounds that tear open Simeon's body. He is present the next morning as the group debates how to get at Corbitt, and the plan settles on breaking into the house once Corbitt leaves.

===108: Head of the Beast===
During a thunderstorm Dom picks the lock and the group breaks into Corbitt's house. He returns to the attic despite his earlier trauma, pushes a Listen roll by closing his eyes to "listen real hard", and the woman's severed head drops onto his scalp. It has been turned into a spider-like creature with bony arm-legs. Dom tears it off his head, [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] rips it off his chest, and Dom destroys it with a point-blank .38 shot, adding his catchphrase "Dutch, no way to get ahead in life." Because he has killed the source of his terror, the Keeper lets him recover 3 Sanity. Dom then spends half an hour searching the attic and finds only puncture marks on the walls and ceiling, bags the head-beast, reads Corbitt's first 1911 journal aloud to the group, and is part of the party when Bakersfield finds the hidden basement panel. Dom solves the lock with his lockpicking skill, narrowly beating Tallahassee's plan to shoot it open, and the basement door clicks open.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Dom and the others take Corbitt into the basement, where they find the hidden laboratory and the monstrous child. When the creature seizes Major Bakersfield, Dom, with Simeon out of action and Billy unconscious, rushes forward and fires his revolver point-blank into its mouth. As he fires he hears the names "Fiona" and "Sam" ring in his head and cries out Sam's name with the final shot, which finally kills it. Afterward he goes back to Bakersfield's house to wash up and drink from the Major's nice glasses. In the epilogue he realizes that after years of wandering alone he has found people he may finally be able to be honest with, and who may help him in his search for the truth.

==Notable quotes==
* "It was like, you know, I had a fair amount of spirits."
* "All pockets from all dead people in the room are being searched by me."
* "Dutch, no way to get ahead in life."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he loses Sanity on seeing the dead light in the hallway, is trapped in the basement when it pours down the stairs, and is pulled out of a window by [[Billy McConnell]]. The light burns his ankle for four points of damage before he dodges a second tendril. He then runs for the truck, looking for a flamethrower the group does not have.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he dodges the dead light, fails, and runs around the far side of the truck, and later gets a hit point back from the Major's first aid. At the cafe he points out that the sack-headed man's wallet held a picture of Mary, and theorizes that the two were connected.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he shows Mary the photograph from the wallet and tries to talk her down with a charm roll. He tackles her to the floor with an extreme success, runs out into the storm for the silver coffer, and brings it in open. He fails his POW roll and is drawn toward the dead light until the Major knocks him down, and once the light is back inside he slams the lid and seals it with wax.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he appears dead in a Spanish uniform in Tallahassee's nightmare. Awake, he laments that the truck holds no flamethrower, and he reminds Tallahassee how many people the dead light might have killed if they had not stopped it.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he goes with Billy to Denny's Tavern, asks Ezra Denny for "possessed waters," and keeps the drinks flowing to old constable Robert Morgan, who repeatedly calls him "baby boy." He worries that no one has seen Mordecai Shep for weeks and suggests checking his shack.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] the Keeper notes that Dom is the sanest of the investigators, which Dom credits to "all the drinking I do." He pushes for a visit to Mordecai Shep's shack, listens at its door, and pockets the roughly $400 and the .38 revolver from the hidden box.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he buys round after round of scotch in Denny's Tavern and slams the campsite photograph down in front of Percival Warthrop to watch his reaction. While Percival keeps watch that night, Dom tells him about his wife Fiona and son Sam, who vanished from their London home 13 years earlier and left a strange symbol burned into the sitting room floor. Percival recognizes the symbol as belonging to the Order of Scorpius and the Devereaux family of witches, who have ties to Salem, and asks whether Fiona's maiden name was Devereaux. Dom refuses Percival's advice to let it go, saying that he is too far down the rabbit hole, and Percival promises to ask his contacts.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he helps try to force open J.G. Faust's tomb and asks Percival Warthrop whether he recognizes the gouges in the stairwell. In the laboratory below, he works out that the "phantom fire" probably smothered itself after the tomb door swung shut, which is why no one could find it.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he admits that he is terrible at research and joins Tallahassee Turner and Major Bakersfield in searching the Russell farm. In the barn's storm cellar, he is frozen briefly in shock by the headless creature, then rushes in and buries his machete in its back as it bites Tallahassee. The blow snaps Tallahassee out of his delusion.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he presses Percival Warthrop with questions about the creature's missing anatomy. He fumbles his search and gets lost on the way to the barn. He suggests that Percival's autopsy reveal where the creature's vital organs are so the group will know where to shoot.

In [[308: Infestation]] he successfully charms Goodman Gray by arguing that neither group benefits from the creatures rampaging across the countryside. His argument leads Gray to propose working together to cull them. He then joins the rush into the sanatorium and the escape that follows.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he prepares more Molotov cocktails from his smuggled booze. He follows Percival Warthrop around the Adams and Kedridge farms and agrees that the attacks are getting more recent closer to town.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he finally gets his hands on a flamethrower, handed over by Goodman Gray's men during the fortification of Denny's.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] one of Goodman Gray's men teaches him the basics of the flamethrower. He then stages a brawl with Percival Warthrop to pin down Gray's driver.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he takes the front door of Denny's with the flamethrower and shares a few swigs of whiskey and some gloomy advice with Robert Morgan.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he scouts the creatures' advance with the flamethrower, then brings down a ten-foot adult creature with three shots from his M1911, taking out both of its eyes before the third shot spills its insides.

In [[314: The Siege]] his flamethrower malfunctions when a creature smashes the barrel, setting Denny's Tavern on fire. He abandons it and wounds a creature with blind shots through the back door as the group retreats upstairs.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he blows up his abandoned flamethrower tank beneath the alpha, then takes control of the creature through its carved runes after recognizing among them the symbol he found when his family disappeared.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] his control over the alpha is broken by an explosion behind Denny's Tavern. He lights the dynamite for the group's last stand and helps finish off the surviving creatures.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he checks the dead man's pockets at the Riverview Apartments and finds a fully loaded, unfired snub-nosed .38 revolver but no ID. He asks whether the wounds could have come from a Freddy Krueger glove and joins the plan to check out the pawn shop.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he breaks open the locked drawers behind the Pawn and Prawns' counter with a brick, fumbling the first try and smashing his own hand, until he finds a fine wristwatch with a black leather band engraved "RG." He wipes down the drawers, takes the brick with him, and takes only that one item so that the shop will look as if it was robbed for a single piece.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he offers Hiram Hopkins, the owner of the Pawn and Prawns, his knowledge of the less respectable people in Arkham in exchange for the full truth about John Johnson. He keeps hold of the stolen watch, saying he is not letting it out of his sight and asking whether anyone has any idea how much booze it could buy. He then goes with the Major to take the watch to Cortex Studios.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he and the Major drive to Cortex Studios, where he suggests that they say they are with the police, which he says is technically true. He charms the owner, Jelty, with a hard success, shows him the watch, and says it was involved in a crime earlier that morning. After Jelty's records name the watch's owner, Dom asks about the Goddard family, John Johnson and the boatmen. On the street, he suggests checking under the car for bombs.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he and the Major drive to [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house, where he tells the Major he is worried about him and suggests opening with the pawn shop break-in and the missing watch. When the man at the door claims to be Raymond Goddard, he says they are consultants with the police, and a Psychology check shows that the man looks genuinely confused when asked about the watch. After the Major's license check turns up the name [[Devon Black|Devin Black]], Dom presses him to come clean, quietly draws his gun, begs him to tell the truth and asks whether he works for the mayor. He says he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, and the Keeper tells him the octopus dog tag matches the bodies in the tomb.

In [[406: Pain]] he answers the knock at the door of [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house while the Major carries [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] out of sight. He talks to the neighbor, Bryce Gantt, saying that Mr. Goddard has returned from his holiday and wants his new furnishings and that furniture fell on a tender part of the body. A Charm roll gets an extreme success, and he shuts the door on Bryce. He then slaps the Major in the face for torturing Devin and argues with him about it, saying that he will keep both eyes on him and hopes that the Major will stop him if he ever does the same. At Pizza Dragons he says that they will not tell the others about the torture or the tying up, only that they leaned on Devin and that he went pale at the name Goodman Gray. He goes with the Major and Tallahassee to O'Malley's.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with the Major and Tallahassee to O'Malley's cafe, where he tells the barista Sheamus O'Malley that Harman Vance did not demise himself. He says that Harman was killed the same way his dear beloved wife was and that they want to find out more, and the Keeper offers him the Charm roll. He describes Harman's apartment full of radios, locked up with no sign of a break-in, and notes that the place where they found him was not a ground-floor apartment. He asks Sheamus for Harman's address, and the group finds a note signed RG in Harman's jacket and heads for East Water Street.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with the Major and Tallahassee to the house on East Water Street and knocks on the front door with Tallahassee. Inside, he picks up a piece of mail addressed to John Johnson (the fake name Harman Vance used), helps the group find an electric bill for Anna Fairbanks, and searches the living room with the Major. He asks whether the house has been empty for a while and learns that it is dusty, then finds a business card for Ricky Dubois of the Arkham Gazette in the desk. When the runner carpet will not move, he pulls it up with the Major's help and finds that it is glued down over smears of blood. He tells Tallahassee about the blood and glue, then calls Ricky Dubois from the phone on the desk to ask whether he knows Anna Fairbanks, and the phone is ringing when the scene moves on.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he phones Ricky Dubois at the Gazette from the house and, after the receptionist shouts for Ricky, tells him that Anna Fairbanks is in serious trouble. He asks when Ricky last saw her and what she told him, and when Ricky says that her maiden name is Tomaszewski, he answers that her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler. He asks whether the coffee shop where she meant to meet Ricky was O'Malley's, warns him that he may also be in danger and urges him to seek protection, and they agree to meet at O'Malley's at 8 a.m. the next day. He then phones the police to report gunfire and violence at the address, which the Keeper says sends them straight to the house. When the men outside advance, he draws his 1911, warns them that the only river they will be crossing is the river Styx and shoots first, killing the nearest gunman with a roll of 1 for 16 damage. He is shot in the hip for 7 damage, takes a major wound, spends Luck to stay conscious and fires back from the doorway, hitting twice for nine damage. He cannot move well, so the Major carries him to the boat, where the boatman swaddles him in a blanket while he insists that he is fighting like a man.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he is badly wounded, and the Keeper says he is no longer bleeding out after the Major's first aid. He asks to be carried into Simeon's study "like a baby" and is tucked in on the couch. After the others compare notes, he lays out his theory of the case: he names the victims as Elizabeth Bakersfield, John Johnson (the fake name Harman Vance used), Dr. Doyle and [[Raymond Goddard]], says "Anna Fairbanks is the key that unlocks this entire case," and says the only person with a motive is Randolph Tomaszewski. He warns that Ricky Dubois may be the leak, since Anna told only him. Dom later asks Runch to carry him up the stairs "like a baby," and says "I'm just going to rest my eyes for just a moment" while Runch rocks him. Near the end of the episode Runch drags Dom out of the room by the feet, and Dom's condition is left unclear.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Billy McConnell

2026-10-27T17:14:31Z

William Jodeit: Name Dr. Jared Sylvester in 402; link Raymond Goddard and Devin Black

Played by: [[Abe Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A very young police officer, with extreme willpower. He starts as a rookie beat cop and ends the first season as the youngest detective on the force.

Billy is the investigators' man inside the Arkham police, and he is the one who finally arrests [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]].

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===103: Usual Suspects===
Billy joins the story as a new character (and new player). He is one of the officers helping secure the scene at Corbitt's house.

===104: Attic Window===
The next morning he approaches the investigators and admits that, although his partner Detective Kovach accepted Corbitt's explanations, Corbitt seemed nervous when he was questioned. He joins them at [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house, watches Corbitt's house from a window with [[Dom Druncard|Dom]], and takes Dom to the police station, where the license plate is traced to Randolph Tomaszewski.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Billy and Dom visit Central Hospital and question Miss Witherspoon and the superintendent, Dr. Doyle, about Tomaszewski.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
He goes with Dom and [[Major Bakersfield]] to Tomaszewski's apartment on Crenshaw and begins questioning him once he is captured. Afterward he turns Tomaszewski over to the police.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Billy brings news from the police investigation: the captured Miskatonic Mangler is incoherent in custody, ranting about "the Master", and had a switchblade, a purple vial like Simeon's and a severed finger with a ring engraved "T & L Forever". His captain promises him a promotion for the arrest. The police cannot get a warrant to search Corbitt's house, so Billy tells the group they must handle it themselves, and he says he can "look the other way" about going into the house but not about blowing up Corbitt's business. The plan is for him to drive to Corbitt's business at the docks and ask questions as a police officer to lure Corbitt away from home.

===108: Head of the Beast===
While the others search the house, Billy goes to the Corbitt Imports warehouse. He learns little except from the manager that Corbitt has missed work recently, and he tries to pry open a locked filing cabinet with his knife until the manager comes back.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Billy confronts Corbitt at his workplace with Tomaszewski's name and the vial, catches him when he pronounces the name too correctly, and chases him through the warehouse, smashing through doors, firing a warning shot and diving into Corbitt's moving car to drag him out. He punches him, handcuffs and gags him, and brings him back to the house with Simeon. In the basement he faints at the sight of the creature. Afterwards he is taken with the police captain to see the basement and is told to keep what he saw secret. In the epilogue he gets a commendation and a promotion to detective, the youngest on the force.

==Notable quotes==

* "You shot him in the FACE?! Is he dead??? You do remember I'm a cop, right? You shot him in the face?"

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he sees the dead light for the first time, pushing around the door of Dr. Webb's bedroom, and escapes through the window with Tallahassee. He runs for the front of the house and pulls [[Dom Druncard]] out of the basement window as the light grabs Dom's ankle.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he casts an incantation for the first time, pushing the roll and spending eight Luck to get it off, but the dead light cannot comprehend his command to be still. He still gains POW from pressing against its will. He drives the group back to the cafe and later finds Winifred Brewer unconscious outside the powder room and carries her inside. He then needles Jake about the crumbs in his beard.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he hears Mary and Amelia in the gas station office and tries to pin Mary's gun to the floor, prying it from her hand after Dom tackles her. He hesitates over feeding her to the light until Tallahassee flicks blood in his face. He scrambles into the office, drags Amelia away from the dead light as it melts through the back wall, and slams the door behind them.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he admits that he is struggling with what the group has done as a sworn officer, but says the supernatural stakes mean they must see it through. Driving to New Salem, he spots a wrecked campsite off the road, finds a camera satchel holding a Kodak Brownie No. 2, and looks up to find blood and claw marks high in the trees where the attacker leapt away with its victim.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he introduces himself to Mayor Jedediah Marsh as a detective from Arkham and asks about the truck at the abandoned campsite. At Denny's Tavern he mentions Grant Jameson, questions Ezra Denny about Mordecai Shep, Bernard Corbitt and local legends, and presses retired constable Robert Morgan about Dr. Warthrop and Will Henry. He books rooms for the group and insists that they stick together before visiting Mordecai's shack.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he asks Ezra Denny about Ike Watson and the town's dangers and learns to beware of Constable Zeke Dawkins and the Mayor. At Mordecai Shep's shack he finds a loose board under the wood-burning stove, checks the hidden box for traps with a roll of 99, and lifts out a cache of cash, a revolver and letters from "BC." Reading the letters, he concludes that Corbitt's laboratory lies beneath a mausoleum in the cemetery.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he questions Percival Warthrop about his family's place on the hill. When he opens the truck's door the next morning, a freshly hanged cat swings out at his face. On the drive to the cemetery, he confesses that he wishes he had listened to his captain, that the killing of the girl still haunts him, and that he will need some sessions with Simeon once this is over.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he checks the area one last time before entering J.G. Faust's tomb and props its self-closing door open with a rock. He discovers a severed, desiccated hand still gripping the handle inside. He is the only investigator to keep his composure at the sight of the burned laboratory below, and while searching its cage he finds the key still in the door.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he stays in the truck at the Russell farm with Dr. Simeon and Percival Warthrop to work through the papers recovered from the laboratory.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he searches the Russell farm with successful Spot Hidden and Listen rolls. He finds livestock remains that look about two weeks old and hears what might be a distant car. Going back to the burned notes, he pieces together fourteen years of research by Corbitt and Mordecai Shep. The notes describe how the creature reproduces, explain the binding runes and reveal that the two men exercised it at an abandoned sanatorium. He then drives the group there.

In [[308: Infestation]] he drives the group to the Motley Hill Sanatorium and blocks the drive, though he refuses to slash the other vehicles' tires because he is still an officer of the law. His Psychology read on Goodman Gray suggests that Gray is evasive but sincere about cooperating, and may know the mayor better than he lets on. When the screaming starts, he readies the truck and gets it rolling as the others dive into the back.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he drives the group away from Motley Hill and back to New Jerusalem. He warns the mayor and Constable Zeke Dawkins that the creatures are nesting at the sanatorium and have wiped out the outlying farms, and rallies the townsfolk to gather weapons. He then presses the mayor about his dealings with Goodman Gray.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he and Ezra Denny ferry the town's women and children to the cemetery tomb. When he realizes Delilah and her son are missing, he searches her ransacked house and finds the newspaperman Jacob Alister shot in the street. Jacob says that Ike Watson took Delilah and the boy, then dies. Billy arms Ezra and drives east after Ike.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he and Ezra Denny reach a shack on the east side of town and ready their guns as screams rise from the west.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he and Ezra Denny storm Ike Watson's shack and find Delilah Bevins and her son bound inside. Ike resists both of his command spells ("Drop it" and "Freeze"), but Billy fights off Levi, then captures and hog-ties Ike and heads back to Denny's.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he races the truck back to Denny's and rams the wounded adult creature that Dom Druncard brought down, crushing it against the building, before hurrying Delilah Bevins, Zachary and the captive Ike Watson inside.

In [[314: The Siege]] he drags the captive Ike Watson toward the stairs of the burning tavern as a sacrifice for the dead light and wounds one of the creatures crawling in through the north windows.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he is overcome by panic at the sight of the alpha, drops Ike Watson and flees upstairs until Dr. Simeon's Command spell restores his senses.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he swears himself to Dr. Simeon, draws the ritual symbol on Ike Watson and performs the chant that feeds Ike to the dead light after it destroys the alpha.

In [[401: Static Prevails]], now a detective, he calls the group to the Riverview Apartments at about 3 a.m. to see a dead man in a locked apartment full of radios. He reads the pawn receipt made out to "John Johnson" and later learns from Officer Michael Speekman that the man was seen alive at about nine the night before, though his body looks days dead. He asks for a rush from the mortician.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he refuses to take part in the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns so he will not be an accomplice, and waits at the diner, Pizza Dragons, drinking coffee. He tells the others what he learned from the neighbor and the building: John Johnson was seen going into his apartment at about nine the night before, yet his body looks days dead, which Billy says is creeping into the supernatural. He plans to interview the pawn shop's owner and then the medical examiner, Dr. Jared Sylvester.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he goes into the Pawn and Prawns alone and questions its owner, Hiram Hopkins, as a detective. A Psychology roll shows that Hiram is lying about the watch, and a Persuade roll fails after Billy hints that the patrolman might get lost on the way. He takes the unconscious Tallahassee to the medical examiner, Dr. Jared Sylvester, and learns that John Johnson died of exposure with four stab wounds that match the Major's wife's. He shrugs off a cold chill with a successful POW roll, then casts Command himself with extra force to try to wake Tallahassee.

In [[404: Episode IV]] his Command makes the unconscious Tallahassee's eyes flutter, but Tallahassee sinks back, so Billy smacks him a few times and urges him to wake up. Once Tallahassee is awake, Billy asks where he went and whether spiders attacked him there. He then reads aloud from John Johnson's autopsy report, which describes multiple stab wounds on the torso from something like an ice pick or a stake and a body exposed to severe weather for days, and says that Johnson may have been in the same place. He suggests that the group find out who the dead man is and then meet up with Dom and the Major.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he takes the fingerprint card into the Arkham police station, where Captain Renz takes the Radio Man case away from him and gives it to Detective Crane, says that chaos follows the group around and that he does not want them around any more. Billy argues that they are consultants and helped him catch the Miskatonic Mangler, offers up the Reynolds case and grows suspicious about how fast he is being pulled off, having been kept off the investigation into the Major's wife's murder and looked into it on his own time. He tells Simeon and Tallahassee what happened, loudly says that they are not friends any more so that the captain sees, and then lets them in through a side entrance to search the records room with him while the clerk, Sarah Beatrice, looks the other way.

In [[406: Pain]] he finds the fingerprint match with Simeon and Tallahassee in the police records room, refuses to take the card, and writes down the information instead, saying that he has to pass some of it to Detective Crane. He flips off Captain Renz's closed door before leaving, and the captain calls him a loose cannon. At Pizza Dragons he tells the others that the captain gave him flak over their shenanigans and pulled him off the Radio Man case for no reason, and that they need to be more covert, and notes that the chief is appointed by the mayor and could lean on the captain. At the hospital he greets Nurse Witherspoon as "nurse with a spoon," makes a tactless joke about jumping off a building after she does not remember him, and then apologizes. He asks about Dr. Doyle's decline and who he was spending time with, asks whether the mayor was one of his patients, and, when told he needs a warrant to see Dr. Doyle's office, says "I am the law."

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he and Dr. Simeon search Dr. Doyle's office at Arkham Hospital. He recalls that he and Dom interviewed Dr. Doyle there during the [[Mister Corbitt]] case, when the office was tidy, and says that the disarray and a book on hauntings are out of character for the doctor. When the radio in his pocket switches on, he pulls it out and a voice in the static says his name twice. He backs against the wall, terrified, makes a POW check (26 against 91), and, as a cold feeling takes hold of his head and the voice asks if he remembers it, he forces it out and says "Get out of my head." He tells Simeon that something tried to get into his head, says that it seems to show up whenever the radios switch on, and asks Nurse Witherspoon about Dr. Doyle's state, his radio, the book on hauntings and any talk of ghosts. He takes the termination paperwork with her permission, and suggests heading back to meet the others at Dr. Simeon's house.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he and Dr. Simeon are walking through the hospital's reception area when he spots Detective Crane, whom he recognizes from the police station, with the elder Mr. Goddard. With Simeon helping, he searches the nurses' counter and finds [[Raymond Goddard]]'s room number, which he writes on his hand, then ducks behind the stairs to watch the door. When the radio in his pocket flares up with a voice that sounds like it says Raymond, he runs to Raymond's room and tells Crane that the radio started squawking out of the blue and that he followed it down the hallway because it was saying a name. A Psychology roll shows him that Simeon is looking at something, and he swats at the air near Raymond's head and feels nothing. As Raymond is stabbed by invisible wounds, he grabs him by the shoulders and casts Command, saying "return," and his roll succeeds, but it has no effect. After he and Simeon slip out in the commotion, both fail their sanity rolls and sit in the reception chairs in shock after a long night without sleep.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he is found sitting on the edge of a chair in Simeon's study with a thousand-yard stare, and comes to his senses when the others shove him out of his seat. He and Simeon recall the last thing they saw at the hospital: [[Raymond Goddard]] stabbed to death by an invisible attacker, followed by hazy memories of the rain and the drive home. He tells the others that the radio asked "Remember me, Billy?" and praises Dom's detective work. He says that when they mentioned Goodman Gray's name to [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] "his eyes got real wide." He suggests that Simeon try Command of the Wizard on his wife, and when that fails he puts Simeon in a sleeper hold and then casts Command of the Wizard on him with the word "sleep," so that Simeon can reach Soyland through his dream.

==Appearances==
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

410: Just Watch the Fireworks

2026-10-27T17:14:29Z

William Jodeit: Say John Johnson was Vance's fake name in Dom's victim list; link Raymond Goddard and Devin Black

==Synopsis==
The episode picks up where [[409: Pass the Baby]] left off. After the aquatic escape from Anna Fairbanks's house, the Keeper says [[Captain Runch|Captain Carl Runch]] gave the group a ride across town and "seems to have decided to tag along." They reach Dr. Simeon's house in the dark, with light only in the study. [[Major Bakersfield|The Major]] carries the wounded [[Dom Druncard|Dom]] in "like a baby," lays him on the study couch and tucks an afghan around him. Inside they find [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] at his desk with a glass of water and [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] on the edge of a chair, both staring blankly, until the others bring them to their senses.

Dom is badly wounded but is no longer bleeding out, and the Keeper explains how major wounds and the dying rules work. Simeon and Billy shake off their daze and recall that the last thing they remember is [[Raymond Goddard]] being stabbed by an invisible attacker at the hospital before the missing time that followed. [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] admits that he rolled only half the dice on his Flesh Ward ("Diamond Skin"); finishing the roll, he says, left him with 38 points, or 28 after the 10 damage he took. The groups compare notes. Billy says the radio asked "Remember me, Billy?", and Simeon shows that the invisible stab wounds look just like his own. Dom lays out his theory: the victims so far are Elizabeth Bakersfield, John Johnson (the fake name Harman Vance used), Dr. Doyle and Raymond Goddard, Anna Fairbanks is the key to the case, and the only person with a motive is [[Randolph Tomaszewski]], who may somehow be pulling people into Soyland. He also wonders whether the Gazette reporter Ricky Dubois is the leak, since Anna told only him. Billy mentions that [[Devon Black|Devin Black]]'s eyes went wide when they said the name [[Goodman Gray]].

Shown Harman Vance's ID photo, Simeon realizes he saw the man in his dream that morning, before Billy's phone call. The Keeper recounts the dream, and Simeon realizes his wife was there too. He runs out of the study, calling for her. The radio flares up and the Keeper says the group hears something from it, but the words are missing from the recording. Upstairs Simeon finds [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]] asleep in bed where he left her that morning, though it is only about seven in the evening. Her breathing is shallow and her face looks sunken. The Keeper tells him the dream was real and she is trapped in Soyland. Simeon loses 1 sanity. Smelling salts do not work, and neither does his Command of the Wizard, although her eyelids and hair flutter. Meanwhile Dom asks Runch to carry him up the stairs like a baby, and Runch rocks him and tells him to go to sleep.

With Tallahassee holding one recharged magic point for his Sign of Power, the group debates what to do, and the Keeper reminds them that Mary Beth has been in Soyland all day. Simeon decides to reach Soyland through his own dream, as he did that morning. Billy puts him in a sleeper hold, then casts Command of the Wizard on him with the word "sleep," and Simeon drops into a very deep sleep. While the others are busy, Runch drags Dom out of the room by the feet, and Dom's condition is left unclear as the episode ends.

==Funny Moments==

* Tallahassee says "We just got chased by a bunch of bum-hole monsters," and Dom adds "I created more bum-holes than Tallahassee did."
* When Dom says he would like to be carried "like a baby," the Major carries him into the study and sets him on the couch.
* Dom tells Simeon and Billy that "The metric system is much more user-friendly than the crazy system you Yanks use."
* Tallahassee says "I only rolled half the dice" on his Flesh Ward, and Dom asks "You mean to tell me that I took a bullet for you because you only rolled half your dice."
* The Keeper offers a tip for other Keepers: "Don't give your players the diamond skin spell. You only give them Smiting Blast of the Foul One because it's worthless."
* Simeon blasts the Major with Smiting Blast of the Foul One, and the Keeper says "I won't even make you roll it. Major Bakersfield, you slam through the window." The Major answers "We'll meet again, Simeon."
* Simeon says he "ripped off my shirt and I said, they look just like this!" to show the others his old stab wounds.
* Billy tells Dom "that's some pretty impressive detective work," and Dom answers "I learned for the best, Billy."
* The Keeper says that in Simeon's dream "the creatures turned into smoothies and you were fighting a bunch of smoothies."
* After Simeon rolls his sanity check, the Keeper says "So now you're going to lose five more points of sanity," then "Just kidding."
* Dom tells Runch "This is a matter of life and death. I need you to carry me up the stairs like a baby," and when Runch keeps calling him a bum, Dom answers "stop calling me a bum I'm a drifter it's much more dramatic."
* As Runch rocks him, Dom says "I object to this treatment," then "it actually is pretty relaxing."
* Billy suggests that Simeon try Command of the Wizard on his wife. Simeon snaps, then says "That's actually a really good idea. I'm sorry I said that," and later calls Billy's undeveloped frontal lobe "your prefrontal cortex that is not fully developed yet. You mook."
* After the group rambles through a tangent, the Keeper says "Freakin Philistines, okay."
* When Simeon suggests going to Corbett's house to look for soy sauce, the Keeper says "They search Corbett's house extremely thoroughly."
* As Billy puts Simeon in the sleeper hold, he says "I put my finger up to his mouth and go, shh," and Simeon tells him "I wasn't gonna resist you anyways."

==Notable Quotes==

* "Remember me, Billy?" —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]], repeating what the radio said
* "the person that has the thing in common with the other guys is you." —[[Dom Druncard|Dom]], to the Major
* "I should have killed him when I had the chance." —[[Major Bakersfield|The Major]]
* "Anna Fairbanks is the key that unlocks this entire case." —[[Dom Druncard|Dom]]
* "we have to consider the possibility that he's the leaky faucet so to speak in this case" —[[Dom Druncard|Dom]], on Ricky Dubois
* "I mean they might let me in so I could talk to him." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], on visiting Arkham
* "He was in my dream this morning" —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], on Harman Vance
* "I'm a dang sea captain." —[[Captain Runch|Runch]]
* "Someone's got to send me in there right now. I can get there through my dream." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "the dream that you had this morning was real and that your wife has been taken like the others to Soyland and has been trapped there all day." —the Keeper

408: In the Same Room

2026-10-27T17:14:22Z

William Jodeit: Say the John Johnson mail is Harman Vance's fake name; link Raymond Goddard

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] left off. [[Major Bakersfield]], [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] drive north across the bridge and then east to the outskirts of town, to an area of old Arkham that the Keeper describes as full of large Georgian mansions with spacious yards and beautiful architecture, most of them fallen into disrepair. The house they are after is on the river side of the street. It was once a nice, or at least modest, cottage and is now run down and not much more than a shack. It is dusk at the end of November, and a freezing sleet is coming down that looks like it is turning into ice and snow. The car is left a little way past the house, the nearby homes look abandoned with dark windows, and the few people on the sidewalks pay the group no attention. Tallahassee suggests splitting up, with himself and Dom going in the front and the Major sneaking around the back, and the Major agrees, reminding them how he caught the Miskatonic Mangler. Dom and Tallahassee knock on the front door and get no answer, with Tallahassee holding his gun down behind his leg. In the back, the Major hops a small fence into a yard that runs all the way to the river and a little pier. Remarking that the note said to take out the trash, he wheels the trash can around to the front, then looks through the back window into a dark, clean kitchen and finds the back door unlocked. He goes in, hears the knocking from up front, crosses a small living room with second-hand furniture and a desk, and opens the front door to let the others in.

Just inside the door is a pile of mail that the door pushes aside, and the group gathers it up and looks through it. One piece is addressed to John Johnson, the obviously fake name that Harman Vance used. Most of the rest is junk mail, but an electric bill that is past due shows that the resident of the house is Anna Fairbanks. A player suggests that the note from Harman Vance's jacket telling someone to take out the trash was a euphemism for taking out Anna Fairbanks. Tallahassee keeps watch at the front window while Dom and the Major search the single-floor house. Dom succeeds on Spot Hidden and the Major fails, and Tallahassee gets a hard success on his own roll as lookout. The house is tidy, has a layer of dust that suggests nobody has been there for a while, and holds almost nothing personally identifying, with faded patches on the wallpaper where photographs used to hang. In the desk Dom finds a stained but intact business card for Ricky Dubois, a reporter for the Arkham Gazette covering arts and music, with the newspaper's address and a handwritten phone number.

On a second Spot Hidden roll Dom succeeds and the Major fails again, but a Luck roll from the Major is a hard success. As he wanders into the kitchen he trips and stumbles on the runner carpet between the living room and the back door, and Dom notices that the runner does not move at all. With the Major helping and a bonus die, Dom succeeds on a Strength roll, and the two pull the runner up with a ripping noise to find that it is glued to the hardwood floor. Beneath it are smears of blood. The Keeper says that some effort was made to clean it up and that the runner appears to have been put down to hide it. Dom tells Tallahassee, who is still watching two figures on the street: a disheveled man walking along the near side who stops at the edge of the yard to fumble with his pockets, and another person heading toward the house from across the street. Tallahassee can't tell whether either is suspicious but keeps an eye on them. Players speculate about what happened to Anna Fairbanks. Dom goes to the phone on the desk to call Ricky Dubois and ask whether he knows Anna Fairbanks, and the line is ringing as the scene moves on. The Major follows the streaks of blood toward the back door and goes outside, fails a Spot Hidden roll, and loses the trail in the small fenced backyard that leads to the river and the pier.

The Keeper then cuts to [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], who are walking through the hospital's main reception area. After a Spot Hidden roll for Billy and a Listen roll for Simeon, Billy spots Detective Crane from the police station standing at the reception desk next to a very finely dressed older gentleman with styled white hair. Simeon overhears Crane, who wears a trench coat and fedora, call the older man Mr. Goddard and say that he is back here. Mr. Goddard asks him to tell him exactly what happened, and Crane says that last night they picked the man up downtown, fighting with a bunch of hobos, and that he is in pretty bad shape. They brought him to the hospital instead of the police station so that nothing would go on record and there would be no problems for Mr. Goddard. Mr. Goddard says "okay, take me to him," and a nurse leads the two men back through the doors. Billy and Simeon talk it over, and Billy suggests that Simeon act like a doctor and follow them. With the nurse gone from the station, the two go to the counter, and Billy rolls Library Use with Simeon helping, searching through the admittance papers until he finds [[Raymond Goddard]]'s name and room number, which he writes on his hand. The Keeper says that this is a different nurse from the one who brought them downstairs, who was covering reception while [[Miss Witherspoon|Nurse Witherspoon]] was upstairs. Simeon rolls a disguise and finds nothing to wear, then decides to walk in holding a clipboard, since the Keeper confirms that this is a psych ward, while Billy ducks behind the stairs to watch the door.

Simeon follows the group to Raymond's room, where the door has been left open, and knocks and steps in. The nurse asks who he is and says that she has not heard about a psychologist, and Simeon says that he is the psychologist on staff, called in for a quick evaluation, and that it happens all the time. She says she will check with the doctor, and a successful roll of 51 gets her to let it go for the moment. Mr. Goddard, whom Raymond calls dad, asks Simeon to find out what his son is suffering from. In the bed is a young man in his mid-twenties who was handsome but now looks disheveled, with messy black hair, sunken cheeks and bags under his eyes, as if he hasn't slept or eaten. Told to tell the doctor everything, Raymond rants about the shadow thing and the radios, says that he needs a radio, and says that Harman knew all about it, was onto it and asked for a radio. He says that the man, the shadow, the thing has been after him for days, that he can't sleep, that he has been going from place to place and can't go home, and that it finds him everywhere. He says that he is not crazy either and doesn't need a shrink, and that a radio is how he knows when it is coming.

At that point Billy takes the radio out of his pocket, and it bursts into life again with static and a voice that sounds like it says Raymond. Billy rolls Listen to hear where it is moving, and hears static pick up in another room, so he runs back toward Raymond's room. As he runs, he hears the static fade into a regular station and another radio farther down the hall flare into static. Meanwhile Raymond goes silent, rolls his eyes back and makes a choking sound before going limp in the bed. Mr. Goddard asks the doctor what is happening and pleads for help for his son, and Simeon says that this is beyond his skill set. Billy arrives and Crane asks what he is doing there, and Billy says that the radio started squawking out of the blue and that he followed it down the hallway because it was saying a name. Crane and Mr. Goddard hear the voice say Raymond. Out of the corner of his eye, Simeon sees the figure of a shadow next to Raymond's head, and he asks whether his Smiting Blast of the Foul One would work on a spirit. A Psychology roll shows Billy that Simeon is looking at something without looking at it, and Simeon tells him that it is right above Raymond's head. When Billy walks over and swats at the air, he feels nothing.

Raymond then jerks in the bed, and blood appears on his shirt as invisible wounds stab into his chest, one after another. Billy grabs him by the shoulders and casts Command and says "return." His POW roll of 89 succeeds, but Raymond's eyelids only flutter and the wounds keep coming as the static on the radio rises to a piercing whine and then cuts off. Crane and Mr. Goddard shout for nurses and doctors, who rush in, push everyone aside and try first aid, though those in the room suspect that it is already too late. Raymond Goddard is stabbed to death by unseen wounds in front of everyone. Billy nods to Simeon, and the two slip out in the commotion. After a player points out that nobody has rolled for sanity, both of them fail. After intelligence rolls that both succeed, the events of the long day, with Billy up all night, push both of them into a bout of madness. They wander back to the reception area and sit in the chairs next to each other in shock, and the Keeper says that Billy can't hear or see.

==Funny Moments==

* When the Major offers to go around the back, the Keeper says "though now you do understand why in the army they called him Mr. Sneaky Feet."
* The Major wheels the trash can around to the front and says "Done and done."
* The Major asks about a doggie door, then a cat door. The Keeper says "Absolutely, there's a cat door," and that "somehow you fit through the cat door."
* When the Major opens the front door to Dom, the Keeper says "the gun goes off in your face as soon as the door opens." The Major answers "Yeah, you finally caught me," and "This whole thing was a ploy to get us to take out a trash."
* The group wants to keep the mail and says it will find a mail tub and write a note that it is on hold. The Keeper says that you do find one, as they are "the most useful totes that have ever been invented in the history of the world."
* Dom finds a second business card on the desk, and the Keeper describes "it even has a watermark" before revealing it as Paul Allen's business card, a nod to American Psycho.
* The Keeper says "You guys hear the Nickelback song on the wind floating in," and Simeon sings along.
* Dom says "We found blood and glue." Tallahassee asks "Blue blood?" and Dom answers "No, we found blood."
* Simeon tells Billy "Billy, I'm gonna throw a brick through this window," and "Your boss is here."
* Simeon asks "Is this a psych ward?" and says "Of course, I work here," after rolling a disguise and saying "I write my name on my forehead."
* [[Raymond Goddard|Raymond]] says "I don't need a shrink," and Simeon answers "Well, as a psychologist, I'd say you do."
* A player asks "Did they just see a man get stabbed by invisible knives and not roll a sanity check?" and the Keeper says "Oh, that's a good point," then "Terrible, I always forget sanity rolls."

==Notable Quotes==

* "I'm good at that." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "my gun was already drawn before we came to the house" —[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]
* "Somebody glued this runner down." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "I would like to know if he knows Anna Fairbanks." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "we didn't wanna cause any problems for you there." —Detective Crane
* "tell me exactly what happened" —the elder Mr. Goddard
* "that's how I know when he's coming" —[[Raymond Goddard]]
* "He finds me everywhere." —Raymond Goddard
* "this is beyond my skill set" —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "He's right above Raymond's head." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "this radio just started squawking out of the blue" —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]]
* "I cast it and I say return." —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]]

407: Coffee & Cigarettes

2026-10-27T17:14:21Z

William Jodeit: Link Raymond Goddard and Devin Black in the Sheamus scene

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[406: Pain]] left off. [[Dom Druncard]], [[Major Bakersfield]] and [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] pile into the other vehicle and drive to O'Malley's, which the Keeper describes as a small cafe in a nearby district. It looks like a bar from before Prohibition that has been repurposed to sell fancy coffees and teas to the fancier types in town, rather than to the old rough and tumble crowd. Most of the group are from Arkham or have lived there a while, and the Keeper reminds them that the O'Malleys are well known around town and that it is an open secret that they are engaged in less than legal activities. Tallahassee settles his fedora, tightens the bullwhip on his belt and steps in, and the bell on the door dings. It is late afternoon in November and getting dusky. Only a couple of customers are inside, one at a table by the window and one at the far end of the bar who seems to want to be left alone, and one barista is working behind the counter. When the group asks for Sheamus O'Malley, the Keeper has the barista slip the name tag off his shirt and into his pocket. Tallahassee says they only want to ask him a few questions, because they heard he was a friend of Harman Vance, and the barista admits that he is Sheamus. Dom and the Major say they have bad news, Dom says that Harman did not demise himself, and Sheamus says that he is sorry because Harman was a friend who worked at the cafe as a barista, doing nothing illegal. When he asks who they are, Dom says that Harman was killed the same way his dear beloved wife was, and the Major introduces himself as Aloysius Bakersfield, a retired major, and says that he is trying to track down his wife's killer and that if Sheamus was Harman's friend they are after the same person. Sheamus offers a drink for their fallen loved ones and pulls out a bottle that is clearly not non-alcoholic water. The Keeper says that Charm is the right skill because Dom is appealing to his emotions, and Dom, with Charm 80, is offered the roll, but the table has Tallahassee deliver the pitch and roll Charm with a bonus die. Sheamus is convinced that they are not cops and pours shots, and the group drinks with a local station playing popular music in the background.

Sheamus then speaks more openly. He asks whether they have heard of the O'Malleys and says that Harman worked for the family: legitimate odds and ends at the cafe, and favors for the family. He had not seen Harman for a couple of weeks, and Harman had not been working for the family lately. When Dom describes Harman's apartment full of radios, locked up with no sign of a break-in, Sheamus does not know of anything that would explain it, and says that Harman had not mentioned boating. He says that Harman has a place downtown, on the ground floor, and gives them the address, and Dom points out that the place where they found the body was not a ground-floor apartment. The Major asks whether Harman left the family by his choice, and the Keeper has the group roll Psychology. Tallahassee and the Major succeed and see that Sheamus is nervous because he is telling the truth. Sheamus leans in and says that he wants out of the life himself and tried to talk Harman into leaving, but Harman was a lifer who wanted to climb the ladder. He says that Harman had been on loan from time to time. Some very clean-cut and secretive people come around asking for low-level muscle, and Harman was the one sent over to help them, but Sheamus does not know who they are. A player asks whether he has heard the name Goodman Gray, and he says no and that they never give names. When the dog tag symbol is shown, he first jokes about a nice horse, and when a drawing of it is pulled out he grabs the player's hand and pushes it down, telling him not to go flashing it around. He says he has seen it a time or two, thinks it is related and that these people are bad news. He describes a younger man in his twenties with slicked-back black hair, fine clothes and a nice watch, and says that the men who go off with them do not always come back, and some who do are different, will not talk to him and are not normal. A player asks whether he ever loaned anyone to [[Mayor Sidel]] of Arkham, and he says only that there are always rumors about the important people in town, but that he has never given any of them credence. Asked about the Goddards, he says that they think they are better than everyone but the money is just as dirty. Their patriarch, Erastus Goddard, is a selectman on the city council, and as far as he knows they are not tied up with the O'Malleys, and he is pretty sure the man described is [[Raymond Goddard]]. Asked about [[Devon Black|Devin Black]], he says the name sounds familiar and he could have worked for the family, but he does not remember. Before the group leaves, the Major gives Sheamus his card, and Sheamus goes to the back to check whether Harman left anything. He returns to find the group guzzling the booze. Harman left a jacket, and in its pockets the group finds a folded note that reads "take out the trash," gives an address and is signed RG. The address is on the north side of the river, heading east out of town, in a run-down area, and it is not the address Sheamus gave for Harman's apartment or Raymond Goddard's house in the upscale south side of town. The Keeper says the whole exchange took about 30 minutes with drive time. After debating whether to wait at Dr. Simeon's for the others or follow one of the two addresses, the group decides to go to East Water Street, and the Keeper has them cross a bridge to the run-down district on the north side of town.

The Keeper then cuts back to [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], who are searching Dr. Doyle's office at Arkham Hospital after their successful rolls. [[Miss Witherspoon|Nurse Witherspoon]] hovers around them, then leaves the room after saying they cannot look in the filing cabinets and that they should run anything they find by her. The office is in disarray, with papers strewn about and some drawers on the filing cabinets open, whereas Billy remembers a tidy office set up precisely with a ruler when he and Dom interviewed Dr. Doyle months earlier during the [[Mister Corbitt]] case. It is evening, and rain and sleet are starting up again outside. On the desk is a pile of papers and a book on hauntings, which catches their eye because Dr. Doyle seemed a practical man of science. One of the drawers holds a fully loaded .38 Special, which a player takes. On top of a stack of what look like employee forms is a paper with a large red stamp, and the Keeper reads the name [[Randolph Tomaszewski]] from it. Billy tells Simeon that the office is much more disorganized than he remembers and that a haunting book is completely out of character for the doctor, and he guesses that Dr. Doyle was in some kind of distress. A radio then starts playing, and the Keeper tells Billy it is coming from his pocket. He pulls it out, and static pours from it. Simeon rolls Spot Hidden and gets a 01, and the Keeper grumbles about the rule he made and says that he is changing it. When Billy sets the radio on the desk, Simeon glimpses a shadowy figure at the corner of his eye, which vanishes when he looks straight at it and comes back when he looks at the radio. A voice in the static says Billy's name twice, and Billy backs against the wall, terrified. Simeon sees the figure move toward Billy and fade, and the Keeper has Billy make a POW check. He rolls 26 against his POW of 91. The radio roars with static, Billy feels a cold sensation on his neck, and the voice asks "Do you remember me, Billy?" Billy asks who is there, the voice fades into the static, and Billy feels cold ice picks pushing into his skull and his vision flickering. His eyes roll back as Simeon calls his name, but Billy's fight response kicks in and he forces the feeling out of his head, saying "Get out of my head." The radio roars again, its lights go out and the room is silent.

Billy asks Simeon whether he heard the voice saying his name, and Simeon says he did and saw one of the shadowy figures twice in his peripheral vision, moving toward Billy. Billy says that something tried to get in his head, and Simeon asks whether he is bleeding, and the Keeper says no, there is no physical sign of it. This is Simeon's second success, so his second sighting, and Billy remembers that Tallahassee confessed to seeing the figure at Pizza Dragons too, which the Keeper confirms. Simeon wonders if whatever it is can travel unseen or through some other dimension, and Billy says that it has something to do with the radios because it seems to be around whenever they switch on out of the blue. A player suggests that the radios may be tuned to where it is, which is why the dead man was surrounded by them. Simeon looks at the addresses on the stamped paper to get them in his head just before the door opens with a knock and Nurse Witherspoon asks if there is anything she can help with. Billy tells her that it is the termination paperwork, and she says that it is not confidential or a medical record and that they can take it with them, since it is for a terminated employee anyway. Billy asks how the office got in such disarray, and she says that this is Dr. Doyle's mess, that the police looked around while she watched them so that they saw no confidential information, and that he had been getting more and more distressed and anxious in his last couple of weeks. Billy asks whether he had a radio in the office or talked about one at home, and she says that she thought she heard him mention something being broken a couple of times. When the group shows her the haunting book, she laughs and says that he picked it up a little while ago and brought it in one day. She does not know where, because there are lots of bookshops in town. She says that he was a very serious, scientific man, never mentioned ghosts or apparitions when he was distressed, and was probably reading it for fun or as a new hobby. As the group leaves, one of them apologizes for the earlier joke, and she says "What a joke" and sends them off. The Keeper tells Billy to look at the address at the bottom of the paper, and the players read out the name Anna Fairbanks. Nurse Witherspoon guides the two down the stairs and out, and Billy says they should head back and meet up with the fellas at Dr. Simeon's house.

==Funny Moments==

* Tallahassee says "I throw a brick through the door," and another player asks "Is it a signature, Kantstandyerbitz brick?" The Keeper narrates that it shatters and everyone runs screaming, and Tallahassee says "Alright, losers, follow me," then the door bell dings as if nothing happened.
* Asked why they want Sheamus, a few players answer that they want to kill him, and Tallahassee steps in with "We just want to ask him a few questions."
* Another player says they will blow their guns and shoot him, and the Keeper narrates a hundred gunshots and bottles exploding behind him, then says "Okay, he revealed his identity and you guys murdered him" and "Alright, jump back."
* The table says "Vance refrigeration" again, and Tallahassee says it too while describing Harman to Sheamus.
* Dom says "We were pretty positive he didn't demise himself," and Sheamus asks whether they are Irish.
* Dom says "I lost my accent" while trying to explain himself to Sheamus.
* Sheamus calls Harman a friend "even if he was a tripe gobbler," and says that you do not even want to know what it is.
* After a joke about dirty glasses, the Keeper says "He grabs a glass out of the toilet and gives it to you."
* A player hands Sheamus a stick of dynamite as a thank-you gift, and the Keeper says "He likes it."
* Sheamus comes back from the storeroom and the Keeper says "He sees you guys all just guzzling all the booze."
* Simeon rolls a 01 on Spot Hidden and asks if he can roll a d10. The Keeper says "That's a freaking success," then "I'm changing my rule."
* After the visit to Nurse Witherspoon, a player says "I hate to see what Mrs. Witherspoon looks like without her spoon," and the table repeats "With or without a spoon" until the Keeper moves on.

==Notable Quotes==

* "I'm pretty famous myself." —[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]
* "Look, Sheamus, I'll be straight with you." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "He's a barista like me, made coffees and teas and whatnot." —Sheamus O'Malley
* "Thinking they're better than everybody, but the money's just as dirty." —Sheamus O'Malley
* "They're bad news, whoever they are." —Sheamus O'Malley
* "This is his mess here." —[[Miss Witherspoon|Nurse Witherspoon]]
* "Do you remember me, Billy?" —a voice on the radio
* "I wasn't in your head, man." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Get out of my head." —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]]

406: Pain

2026-10-27T17:14:19Z

William Jodeit: Say Vance was using the fake name John Johnson; link Devin Black and Raymond Goddard

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[405: Be Sensible]] left off. After two to two and a half hours of searching the police records, [[Billy McConnell|Billy]], [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] and [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] finally pull a card whose fingerprint swirl matches the one from the dead man. The picture on it looks like the man the group found that morning, though the body was more decrepit, and the Keeper describes him as young with brownish blonde hair. The card names him as Harman Vance, and the Keeper confirms that this is the man who was using the obviously fake name "John Johnson." The table keeps joking that he is "Vance Refrigeration." The Keeper says that the arrest was three years earlier, in 1922. The address on the card, 611 Watley Street, is where the group found him, and the card lists known associates, namely the O'Malleys and Sheamus O'Malley of the O'Malley crime family. The Keeper adds that O'Malley's is also a pub downtown. Billy says they cannot take the card and writes down the pertinent information instead, then puts it back and says he has to pass some information to Detective Crane before they go so he does not get into any more trouble. His friends leave through the side door past the records clerk, Sarah, who is passed out at the desk with an empty bottle of ranch. Billy goes back to his desk, gathers what he has there, and flips off the closed door of Captain Renz before running out. The captain calls him a "loose cannon." The three head for Pizza Dragons to compare notes with the others.

Meanwhile, [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] are in [[Raymond Goddard]]'s house with an unconscious [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] when there is a knock at the door. The Major carries Devin into the hallway and lays him on the stairs, and Dom answers the door with his hand on the gun in his pocket. The caller is a friendly man in his 30s in shorts and a polo shirt, Bryce Gantt, a neighbor from across the street. He says that he has not seen Ray around and that he could have sworn he heard screaming from inside the house. Dom tells him that Mr. Goddard is back from his holiday and wants his new furnishings and that furniture fell on a tender part of the body. A Charm roll gets an extreme success, and Bryce asks if he can help, gives his name and says that he lives right across the street. Dom shuts the door on him, and the Keeper says Bryce is only looking at the door jamb wistfully because he wants to keep chatting. The table decides that there is no use in bringing Devin along, and he is left tied up in the house.

Before they leave, Dom slaps the Major in the face over how he treated Devin. The Major tries to block the slap, but Dom gets a bonus die for hitting him on the blind side and succeeds. Dom says "What in the hell is the matter with you?" The Major says that Dom's way was not working and that they got the answers they needed, and that he never meant to murder Devin, who works for [[Goodman Gray]], just to press him. Dom says "That look in your eye fooled me" and that he will keep watching him, and that he hopes the Major will stop him if he ever does the same. The Major argues that they have done worse, and brings up what they had to do to [[Mary the Hoebag|Mary]] from the diner. Dom says he is sure neither of them wants to do that again, which is his whole point. Outside, the Keeper describes an ordinary, idyllic middle-class street, with Bryce nodding and waving from across the road, and the feeling that the group can never be one of those people again. They drive in silence to Pizza Dragons, where [[Ezra Denny|Denny]] nods them toward their usual corner table. When Billy, Dr. Simeon and Tallahassee arrive, the Keeper asks Simeon to roll a d10 for something he forgot earlier, and notes that the Major has a welt of four fingers across his bad eye. Billy tells them that the captain gave him flak over the group's shenanigans and pulled him off the Radio Man case for no reason, that something suspicious is going on there, and that they need to be more covert. Billy notes that the chief is the one the mayor appointed and could lean on the captain. The Major tells them about their visit and says that the mayor and Goodman Gray are definitely involved. Dom says that they will not tell the others about the torture or the tying up, only that they leaned on Devin Black and that he went pale when they mentioned Goodman Gray. Simeon rolls Psychology and the Keeper says that everything Dom says is the honest truth. The Major shows the octopus dog tag, which the group recognizes from Goodman Gray's crew in New Jerusalem. The table shares everything it knows, including the autopsy and the identity of the Radio Man. A player wonders whether the spiders from the other world stabbed him and offers to compare scars with the autopsy, and the Keeper reminds them that the coroner said the man was stabbed while still alive but died of exposure. They list their leads: Harman Vance's address on Watley Street, the O'Malleys, the hospital and Dr. Doyle, and the "ferryman" and "boaters" the hobos talk about. The Keeper asks whether there is any way to get to the mayor, and the table jokes about breaking down his door. The group splits up. Billy and Dr. Simeon go to the hospital, with Simeon saying that it is a safer bet for him, and Dom, the Major and Tallahassee go to O'Malley's. They plan to meet at Dr. Simeon's house in two hours.

At the hospital, in the evening with the autumn dark coming on, the front-desk nurse, [[Miss Witherspoon|Nurse Witherspoon]], is one Billy and Dr. Simeon recognize from the first case in [[Mister Corbitt]]. Her name tag says Witherspoon, and Billy greets her as "nurse with a spoon." She says that she does not remember him, though Dr. Simeon introduces himself as Billy's psychologist, and then says that she does remember him. Billy jokes about jumping off a building, and she says that she cannot believe he would make such a joke after what happened with Dr. Doyle, who fell off the hospital roof. The Keeper reminds the two that the papers a few weeks earlier carried a story about a doctor who killed himself by jumping off the roof of Arkham Hospital. Billy apologizes, and the nurse says he was a dear friend and that Dr. Doyle would never take his own life. She says they worked together for 15 years and that he was the head administrator. She says that he started looking more tired and wrung out after she last spoke with Billy, around the events of the Miskatonic Mangler, that he seemed stressed and panicky a few weeks earlier, and that she thinks he may have gone up for fresh air and fallen. A Persuade roll gets her to say more: when she saw his body outside after the fall, it looked terrible and wasted away, as if he had aged between when she last saw him and then and was suddenly a hundred years old. Nobody new had come into his life that she knows of, and Mrs. Doyle said that everything was fine at home. Billy asks whether the mayor was one of his patients, and she says that Dr. Doyle did not take patients because he was an administrator. Billy asks to look at Dr. Doyle's office, but she says that they would need a warrant and that medical records are protected. After a hard Persuade from Dr. Simeon, she agrees to let them look as long as she can be there, and she unlocks the office but says they may not open any of the filing cabinets. As the group starts searching the office, one player rolls Spot Hidden and fails, and another gets a hard success. The episode ends there.

==Funny Moments==

* Dom's story to Bryce Gantt is that furniture fell on a tender part of the body and that "It was a scream of pain." Bryce had suggested that someone dropped furniture "on your little tootsies."
* After Dom shuts the door, the Keeper has Bryce's eyes trail along the door jam as if he wants to keep chatting. He calls out "Toodaloo," and Dom says it back.
* A player describes giving the Major the side eye, and says he does not notice because it is on his eyepatch side. Dom slaps him on his blind side, the Keeper gives Dom an experience check for trying it, and a player says "Slap him right in his bad eye."
* At Pizza Dragons the Keeper asks the Major why he has four fingers slapped across his bad eye, describing a welt across his face.
* The records clerk, Sarah, is passed out at the desk with an empty ranch bottle, and a player says "She's in ranch land."
* Billy flips off Captain Renz's door, and the Keeper shouts through it as the captain.
* The table keeps calling the dead man "Vance Refrigeration," and the Keeper says "I knew you guys were going to say Vance refrigeration."
* Players compare the autopsy with scars from the spiders in the other world and warn "seriously guys don't go to that place."
* As the group splits up, the Keeper has everyone put their hands in the middle of the table. A player starts a cheer, another says "with our powers combined," and a third quacks, and one says "We create Optimus Prime." Denny says "guys, guys."
* Billy greets the nurse as "nurse with a spoon," and says she should remember him from the police department.
* Told that Dr. Doyle's death was "all over the papers," Billy asks whether he fell on some papers, and then whether he fell onto some papers.
* Dr. Simeon says that he is Billy's psychologist, that Billy is seeing him every week for a couple of hours and that he has seen some things.
* When a player asks the nurse whether she is single, she says she is Mrs. Witherspoon, and then asks "How married do you want me to be?"

==Notable Quotes==

* "I could have sworn I heard some screaming coming from inside the house." —Bryce Gantt
* "Furniture fell on a tender part of the body." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "You're a loose cannon." —Captain Renz
* "What in the hell is the matter with you?" —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "I'm just really good at acting." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "You tortured a man for information." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "I think that's a safer bet for me." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Dr. Doyle would not kill himself." —[[Miss Witherspoon|Nurse Witherspoon]]
* "I am the law." —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]]

405: Be Sensible

2026-10-27T17:14:17Z

William Jodeit: Link Devin Black and Raymond Goddard

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[404: Episode IV]] left off. [[Billy McConnell|Billy]], [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] and [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] pull up outside the Arkham police station with the fingerprint card from the dead man's case. Tallahassee does finger guns at the detectives on the work floor and flicks out his trench coat, and one secretary's hair blows back. One of the detectives tells Billy that the captain wants to see him as soon as anybody spots him. Captain Renz tells Billy that he is reassigning the Radio Man case to Detective Crane and wants Billy's leads turned over. Billy argues that he has solid leads, but Renz says that a pawn shop owner called about a break-in where the only thing missing was one watch, and that the descriptions of the people involved sound like "those goons" from the Corbitt incident. He has also spotted Dr. Simeon and Tallahassee on the floor. Billy says they are consultants with good ideas and reminds him that they helped catch the Miskatonic Mangler. Renz says that wherever they go there is "chaos that follows them around" and that Billy is too deep in to see it. Billy offers to give up the Reynolds case, but Renz says "Don Julio" is the biggest case they have right now and that Billy is "chasing after some radio man" instead of tracking it down. He says that Billy stays a detective for now unless he hears of any more mysterious break-ins, that he does not want the group around any more and that Billy is off the Radio Man case and should turn his things over to Crane. Billy says that he slams the door on his way out.

The Keeper tells Billy, who has not shared this with the table, that since Major Bakersfield's wife was murdered he has been looking into her death on his own time, that the captain refused to put him on that case over a possible conflict, and that a few other times he has felt stonewalled and steered away from cases. A Psychology roll leaves him suspicious about how fast he has been pulled off this one. Billy tells Simeon and Tallahassee what happened and sends them to wait in the car while he checks the fingerprints before handing everything to Crane. The Keeper has Dr. Simeon roll Spot Hidden as a radio somewhere in the station fills with static amid the commotion, and after a Spot Hidden roll that lands a hard success, Tallahassee catches a dark figure at the edge of his vision that is gone when he looks again. He says that it is not the first time, and another player says they have seen it too. The Keeper warns Billy that turning the card in through records would leave a trail showing that he is still investigating, and describes Crane as someone who gets many of the cases, has only a working relationship with Billy and may resent his quick promotion. Billy loudly tells his friends that they are "not friends no more" and to go wait in the car, then meets them at a side entrance. In the records room, the clerk, whom Billy first called Doris and the Keeper names Sarah Beatrice, is knocking back shots of ranch. A Persuade roll, a bottle of ranch pulled from a coat pocket and an autographed book from Tallahassee win her over, and the Keeper has her look the other way. All three roll Library Use with two bonus dice and land a hard success, which will still take a couple of hours.

Meanwhile, at about 1 to 2 p.m. under an overcast sky after the morning's sleet, [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] drive toward the south side of town to [[Raymond Goddard]]'s address. Dom tells the Major that he is worried about him after the way he reacted at the pawn shop. The Major says that he has "never been more dialed in" and that this one is personal but he is ready. Dom suggests they open by telling Raymond Goddard that the pawn shop was broken into and his watch taken, and see how he reacts; the Major says he will lean on him as much as needed. The house is in a middle-class neighborhood, a fenced starter home with a front lawn so overgrown that the Major (who has not mowed his own lately) says it is wrong compared with the others on the street and wonders whether they will find another John Johnson inside. The Major knocks, and Dom, looking through a window, makes eye contact with a man who then opens the door part way. He looks about mid-20s, short and stocky, with sandy brown hair, a blunt face, an overcoat and a hat, and does not match the tall, athletic, handsome, nicely dressed man the pawnbroker described. He says he is Raymond Goddard, asks whether they have a badge, and when Dom says that they are consultants on the case, says that he is not buying it. The Major draws his 1911 and shoves his way in. The living room is dusty but not trashed, and a brick comes sailing through the front window. Dom asks about the watch and the Major tells him that his parents bought him one engraved with his initials, and a Psychology check shows that he looks genuinely confused by the question. The Major searches for identification, and the man's wallet holds a license in the name [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] with an address that is not this house.

Devin reaches for his coat pocket, and the Major kicks the back of his legs for an extreme success on Brawl, sending Devin's gun flying. He refuses to talk and tells them to shoot him. The Keeper offers the Major a deal: spend a d4 of Sanity to turn this into rougher interrogation. The Major puts his knife to his neck and cuts it slightly and then stabs about an inch into the front of his shoulder, spending another d4 and dropping to 35 Sanity. The Keeper describes the look on his face as one Dom has never seen on him before, and Dom quietly draws his gun and holds it at his side. Dom begs Devin to tell the truth, pointing out that he cannot do that while screaming. Devin admits he is not Raymond, says Raymond has been missing for about a week and that he is looking for him. A Psychology roll shows the first part is true and that his claim to be a friend who works at a club downtown called Dolly's is a lie. He says "the people we work for" will kill him, that it is not about money and that they have "a cause," that he answers to Raymond, and that Raymond answers to the rest of them. He says that they are looking into the boaters too, that they do not know what is going on with them and that there is another party on the scene. He says he was contacted by someone he does not know and told to find Raymond. When Dom asks whether he works for the mayor, he goes dead silent and then says that he does not work for him, and when Dom asks whether Raymond did, he says nothing and looks very nervous. The Major asks whether they killed Elizabeth Bakersfield, and Devin says he does not know who that is. Dom says he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, so they should take Devin with them.

While searching him, the Major finds a switchblade and then a dog tag with an octopus-like creature inside a circle. He says "You work for [[Goodman Gray]]." Devin goes dead white and asks how the Major knows Gray. The Major tosses the tag to Dom, and the Keeper tells him the symbol is one he recognizes from the bodies found in the tomb in New Jerusalem. When Devin starts to struggle, the Major hits him on the back of the head and knocks him unconscious. Dom says to tie him up, and a knock comes at the door.

==Funny Moments==

* A running gag has players throwing bricks through windows and doors for no reason. At the Arkham police station a player describes someone throwing a brick through the window and then walking through the door anyway, and at the Goddard house a brick comes sailing through the front window. At one point the Keeper tells the table that the joke is not funny anymore.
* As Tallahassee does finger guns across the work floor and flicks out his trench coat, a player calls it "Dark Spider-Man" and "Evil Spider-Man from Spider-Man 3," and the Keeper has a secretary's hair blow back.
* Billy tells his friends loudly and for the captain's benefit that they are "not friends no more," and the Keeper describes them as his best friends in the whole entire world, whom he loves forever and "would never tell them to leave you willingly."
* Sarah Beatrice is doing ranch shots in the records room. A player pulls a bottle of ranch from a coat pocket to win her over, Tallahassee offers an autographed book, and the Keeper offers a bonus, "double ranch for double ranch," since two ranches are better than one.
* The Major feels a twinge of guilt about the overgrown lawn in front of the house, since he has not mowed his own in a while.
* When the man claiming to be [[Raymond Goddard]] is leaned on, a player says, "Looks like not everybody loves Raymond," a callback to the Major's joke in the last episode.
* Asked who he works for, [[Devon Black|Devin Black]] says he has a Blockbuster Video, and a player says he lied about Blockbuster Video, "may it rest in peace." He then says he works at a club called Dolly's.
* After the Major rolls a 2 on Brawl, a player says that anytime he gets violent he rolls either an 82 or a 2.
* Dom pleads with Devin to tell his friend the truth, since "he can't tell you the truth if he's screaming."

==Notable Quotes==

* "The captain wanted to talk to you." —Detective (unnamed)
* "Chaos that follows them around." —Captain Renz, on the group
* "You are chasing after some radio man." —Captain Renz
* "We're not friends no more!" —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]]
* "I've never been more dialed in in my entire life." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "Yeah, yeah, that's me." —[[Devon Black|Devin Black]], posing as [[Raymond Goddard]]
* "He can't tell you the truth if he's screaming." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "We have a cause." —Devin Black
* "You work for [[Goodman Gray]]." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "How do you know Gray?" —Devin Black

404: Episode IV

2026-10-27T17:14:11Z

William Jodeit: Say the dead man was Harman Vance using the fake name John Johnson; link Raymond Goddard

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] left off. [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] is standing on cracked dark ground like salt flats made of volcanic ash, in a barren landscape strewn with large crystal formations and lit by red lightning in the distance. It feels as though he has been there forever and has been trying to will himself back without success. He fails a Sanity roll and loses a point. A voice that seems to come from the sky, Billy's Command, says "wake," and it cracks the hold of the place. He calls out, "Is that you, Runch?" [[Captain Runch|Runch]] asks what he is doing there, and Tallahassee says he was hugging a hobo. Runch says that [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Simeon]] said the same thing about digging when he first arrived. Outside, Billy's Command makes Tallahassee's eyes flutter, but he sinks back, so [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] smacks him a few times. Simeon copies Billy's calm, casts Command himself and beats Tallahassee's POW roll, and a second voice comes from the sky. A failed Luck roll and a Spot Hidden roll that lands exactly on his skill give Tallahassee a glimpse of motion among the rocks. He then casts Sign of Power, which the Keeper says is a somatic spell, a hand gesture, not a vocal one. Cracks run through space in front of his eyes, he forces his way through, and the place shatters. He wakes on the back seat of a car with Billy and Simeon standing over him as an in-world radio ad for "What a Woman Wants," Arkham's first women's radio program, plays.

Tallahassee tells the others he was in the same kind of place Simeon went to after drinking the liquid in [[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]], which Billy remembers as the time Simeon "drank the soy sauce." The hobo outside the diner hugged him so that he could not move and whispered about the ferryman, and then a cold chill ran down the back of his neck and he was there. Simeon says they need to be careful with anyone who knows about the ferryman, and says there is clearly a connection to the soy sauce. Simeon wants to talk to Dr. Doyle, but the Keeper says that Doyle, who was the administrator of the Arkham hospital, is dead. Simeon counts three similar cases: John Johnson, Dr. Doyle and Mrs. Bakersfield, whose name the Keeper gives as Elizabeth Brown Bakersfield, from the autopsy report. The Keeper also recalls that the coroner gave the group a fingerprint card, and the dead man is still listed as "John Doe" on the autopsy because nobody has identified him; the group later learns that "John Johnson" was an obviously fake name used by Harman Vance. Billy reads from the report: multiple stab wounds on the torso from something like an ice pick or a stake, and a body that had been exposed to severe weather for days. He thinks that Johnson may have been in the same place, where Tallahassee says people could wander the barren dirt by themselves with no one to bring them out. Tallahassee makes an Idea roll and realises that for him, about half a day went by, while the others say it was an hour or two. Billy says they should find out who the dead man is and then meet up with Dom and the Major.

Meanwhile, at about 2 p.m., [[Dom Druncard]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] drive to the fancier north side of town, to West Armitage Street, where they find Cortex Studios, a small, high-end custom watch and jewelry boutique. The Major apologizes for the chili cheese fries he ate in the car, and Dom says he could at least have cracked a window. They agree that they need to find out who the "RG" on the watch is and who bought it, and Dom suggests that they say they are with the police, which he says is technically true. Inside, the shop is full of glass cases and expensive watches, and a row of nice glasses makes the Major look away in rage and sadness, then go blank again. Dom says, "Steady, Major, we'll find the culprit soon." The owner, Jelty, an older man with a salt-and-pepper beard and a Croatian accent that sometimes wanders, comes out from the back room. Dom shows him the watch and says they are looking for its owner, and Jelty takes it and turns it over in his hands. Dom says that they are with the police and that the watch was involved in a crime earlier that morning, and lays on the flattery with a charm roll that is a hard success. Jelty goes into the back to check his records. Dom fails a Psychology roll, and ten minutes later Jelty returns.

Jelty identifies the watch as belonging to [[Raymond Goddard]] of the Goddard family, which Jelty calls an old, very wealthy and influential Arkham family. The Major has heard the name around town but knows nothing about them, and Dom, who is from England, says he is not from around here. Jelty believes that Raymond's parents bought the watch for him, and he hands over a piece of paper with Raymond's address, which the Keeper says is on the south side of town in another well-off area. Jelty says that Raymond is an adult man. When the Major asks about John Johnson, Jelty says that it sounds very fake, like something made up. When Dom asks about the "boatmen," Jelty calls them the "hugging hobos" and says that he sometimes sees them outside his shop, but he knows nothing about them. Dom and the Major leave to visit Raymond. Back on the street, both fail a Spot Hidden roll, and they get into the car and head for the south side.

==Funny Moments==

* Tallahassee reacts to the voice from the sky telling him to wake with "Nobody tells me what to do. I'm Tallahassee Turner." When Runch says that Simeon started digging when he first arrived, Tallahassee says, "Simmy is an idiot," and a few lines later adds, "You should go piss on those crystals."
* In the other world, Runch floats over Tallahassee like a spirit guide, a player jokes that it is "Morgan Freeman as Captain Crunch," and Runch asks, "You see that duck? There's a duck over there by them rocks." A player says that it turns out Tallahassee did not in fact see a duck, and another jokes "get busy ducking." When Tallahassee wakes, he says that Runch is there with him, and the Keeper says Runch is "now just going to haunt you for the rest of your life."
* Tallahassee casts Sign of Power with a shout, and a player jokes that he is speaking Elvish and hopes the editors add an echo. The Keeper says that he has to retcon the shout, "even though it kills me to do so," because it is a somatic spell, and then says Tallahassee could cast it in secret with a hand sign, "like Naruto, like doing some jutsu."
* The in-world radio ad for "What a Woman Wants," sponsored by Aunt Betty's Bakery on Fifth and Broadway, promises to teach listeners "how to meet all of your woman's needs."
* Tallahassee, parched after half a day in the other world, asks for a drink, and the table breaks into "walkin' all day long." The Keeper describes a vision of two singers swarmed by students, and a player points out that this would be about thirty years too early.
* Billy asks Tallahassee, "Did you get attacked by spiders there?" and Tallahassee says, "They tried to attack me, but I just destroyed them all." The table spends a long time naming the place: "the upside-down," "Soyland," "soy world," "downward doggy."
* The table tries out ways for the Major to say "Thanks, Dom" while looking at the glasses, taking him from repressed emotion to a crack in the voice, and the Keeper suggests that he just purse his lips and nod.
* Dom answers the demand to hand over the watch with "we already stole it. You can't steal it twice." A player adds, "You can triple steal a double steal."
* Dom's charm roll sets off a long run of jokes about buttering his crumpet.
* When Jelty is asked whether he knows [[Raymond Goddard]], the Major asks "Does everybody love Raymond?" and Jelty replies, "As far as I know, everybody loves Raymond."
* When Dom and the Major fail their Spot Hidden roll on the street, Dom says, "We check under the car for bombs," and the Keeper says there are three d6 bombs attached to the bottom of the car, and two d6 burglars jump out to assault them.

==Notable Quotes==

* "Is that you, Runch?" —[[Tallahassee Turner]]
* "Nobody tells me what to do. I'm Tallahassee Turner." —[[Tallahassee Turner]]
* "There's a duck over there by them rocks." —[[Captain Runch|Runch]]
* "I did meet Runch." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "I was out of this world." —[[Tallahassee Turner]]
* "Clearly there's some connection to the soy sauce." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Steady, Major, we'll find the culprit soon." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "Let's just get in and get our questions answered and get out. This place makes me sick." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "You can't steal it twice." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "Does everybody love Raymond?" —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "We check under the car for bombs." —[[Dom Druncard]]

403: I Will Steal You Back

2026-10-27T17:14:09Z

William Jodeit: Name Dr. Doyle as the hospital doctor who died of exposure

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[402: Criminal Energy]] left off. Tallahassee has been grabbed by a second boater outside the diner and blacked out, but the group has already piled into Billy's car, so [[Billy McConnell]], [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], [[Major Bakersfield]] and [[Dom Druncard]] drive back to the Pawn and Prawns without him. The glass in the front door is smashed, and the shop's owner, Hiram Hopkins, is wandering around picking things up. Billy goes in alone, introduces himself as a detective and shows Hiram the receipt. Hiram says that the dead man, "John Johnson," came in three times, once with a younger, well-dressed man with sleek black hair, and left with the shop's last radios in exchange for a watch he called mediocre. Billy's Psychology roll shows that Hiram is leaving something out, and the ledger says the watch was worth about ten thousand dollars in today's money. Hiram goes looking for the watch and says it must be missing, which the group's own break-in explains. Billy hints that the patrolman on his way to take Hiram's statement might get lost, but his Persuade roll fails, so he calls the others in.

Dom offers the group's contacts in the less respectable parts of Arkham, and the Major pulls out his 1911 and gets in Hiram's face, rolling Intimidate with a bonus die. Hiram cracks and hands out a bucket of prawns. He admits that he lied about the watch: it was not Johnson's, because the well-dressed man, about thirty years old, five foot ten, with black hair and blue eyes, was wearing it when he came in with him. It was a custom piece, and Hiram says the only local watchmaker he knows who could have made it is Cortex Studios. As the group leaves, a different patrolman arrives and says that someone from robbery is on the way. In the car, the Major wonders whether Mayor Sidel is connected to the "RG" on the watch and suggests finding out who works closely with the mayor, but the others prefer to track down the original buyer through the watchmaker.

As they head back toward the diner, an in-world radio report from Orchard Run, near Dunwich, has reporter Charles-Ode interviewing Sheriff Russell Trombly about two men, Dr. Webb and Clem Taylor, who were found cut in half lengthwise and burnt as if in an oven, and asking for information about Mary Laker and Billy Esterhouse. Back at the diner, [[Ezra Denny]] tells them that something is wrong with Tallahassee again: he is lying like a log, breathing, with a steady heartbeat, and scaring the customers. Ezra says that he was wrestling with a hobo outside until Ezra chased the man off. Simeon casts Command on him twice with no effect, and the Keeper does not say why. The group splits: Dom and the Major take the watch to Cortex Studios, and Billy and Simeon carry Tallahassee to the medical examiner at Miskatonic.

The medical examiner, Dr. Jared Sylvester, has John Johnson's body on the table. Tallahassee is laid on top of the body, and Sylvester says he is just asleep, much like the "boaters" who have been turning up around the city: people who are alive but cannot be woken, and who only talk about the ferryman taking a ride. Billy learns that Johnson died of exposure and severe dehydration, with an empty stomach and little blood. Johnson also has four stab wounds that were not the cause of death, and Sylvester says they look very much like the wounds on the Major's wife about five weeks earlier. Billy mentions the empty caffeine bottle found at the apartment, and Sylvester doubts that caffeine killed him. Sylvester recalls that a doctor from the hospital, Dr. Doyle, died of exposure a few weeks ago, found at his home, and says he will dig out the file. He hands over a fingerprint card, and smelling salts do nothing for Tallahassee. As they carry Tallahassee out, Simeon sees a dark figure at the edge of his vision that is gone when he turns, and Billy feels a cold chill and shrugs it off. Billy then tries Command himself, adds a d10 to his POW roll to put extra force behind the word "wake," and wins the opposed roll when Tallahassee's fails. In his unconscious state, Tallahassee is wandering a barren landscape under an alien sky filled with strange structures of lightning, when a familiar voice, soft and yet loud, echoes from far away and speaks a word. The episode ends there.

==Funny Moments==

* Billy hints to Hiram that the patrolman might "get lost on the way over here" unless he is completely truthful. The table cheers on the idea of getting rid of "the insurance man," and one player says, "Insurance men go missing every day."
* Hiram offers prawns at every turn. When Billy says he has just come from Pizza Dragons, Hiram praises the place, and the table agrees that the Grand Slams "are a Grand Slam" and that the cook will "go places."
* The Major draws his 1911 as a badge, and a player says that does not sound like Major Bakersfield. He then rolls Intimidate with a bonus die and announces, "53 out of 67... otherwise it would have been 93."
* After being threatened at gunpoint, Hiram answers by offering a bucket of prawns, which the table eats raw, praising how delicious they are. He says he scoops them out of the river with buckets, and the table agrees that they smell like prawns.
* The patrolman says that "some real sick freaks did this," and the group warmly agrees, suggesting the Fratellis, whom the patrolman says he knows, and a "big brick to break the window."
* When Simeon's Command fails to wake Tallahassee, a player asks whether he can use his second successful roll instead, and the Keeper replies with a flat "Nope."
* At the morgue Billy says, "Yeah, that's my stiff. I got another stiff right here," and then adds that the second one is not dead. The examiner asks if it is a food coma, and a player says, "He's on those Grand Slams."
* Sylvester says that Johnson looks as if he had been crawling across the Sahara. When Simeon asks about prawns in the stomach, a player declares "100%, game over," and "Dr. Simeon does it again."
* [[Dom Druncard]] says he is not letting the watch out of his sight: "You have any idea how much booze this can buy?"
* Billy's Command takes the Keeper through a string of references to focusing his will "like a bar of steel," and the table argues about whether the phrase comes from Rammstein or from ''Atlas Shrugged.'' The Keeper says, "I'm covering a lot of references here."

==Notable Quotes==

* "Would you like some prawns?" —Hiram Hopkins
* "Look man, I don't want things to get messy here any more than you do." —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "You know how I got this one eye?" —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "I'm not letting this watch out of my sight." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "Yeah, that's my stiff. I got another stiff right here." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "It looks like he's been crawling across the Sahara." —Dr. Jared Sylvester
* "All they ever do is talk about the boatman, the ferryman taking a ride." —Dr. Jared Sylvester
* "These wounds look... eerily similar..." —Dr. Jared Sylvester
* "Oh, hey there, buddy." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Wakey, wakey." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "Now I'm good, thanks." —[[Tallahassee Turner]]

402: Criminal Energy

2026-10-27T17:14:07Z

William Jodeit: Name Dr. Jared Sylvester; say John Johnson is an obviously fake name used by Harman Vance

==Synopsis==

The episode picks up where [[401: Static Prevails]] left off. Billy wants no part of a break-in, so he drives to the diner, Pizza Dragons, where [[Ezra Denny]] is working the counter and Delilah Bevins is waiting tables, and he stays there drinking coffee. The others, [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], [[Major Bakersfield]], [[Tallahassee Turner]] and [[Dom Druncard]], pull up at about 6:30 in the morning outside the Pawn and Prawns, the pawn shop that issued the receipt found with the dead man. It sits at the edge of the merchant district, near the docks. Nobody in the group has any breaking and entering skills. They spend a long time arguing over bricks, hammers and the barred windows in the back, until they notice that only the front door is plain glass, and Simeon throws a paving stone through it.

Inside, the shop smells strongly of fish. Behind the counter are guns and a row of locked drawers, and the back room holds an icebox with a bucket of prawns and a desk with a ledger. Dom smashes open drawer after drawer, hurts his hand on his first fumble, and finally finds a fine wristwatch with a black leather band engraved "RG." The Major takes the ledger. With the clock at about 7:15 and the owner due to open soon, they leave. Tallahassee drives the getaway car, badly, and Dom wipes down the drawers and takes the brick with him.

At Pizza Dragons the group hands Billy the ledger, "allegedly found" somewhere, and tells him about the watch. Billy shares what he learned from the neighbor and the building: the radios played all the time, John Johnson was seen going into his apartment around nine the night before, and yet he looks days dead. "John Johnson" is an obviously fake name (the group later learns that the dead man was Harman Vance), and the "RG" may be his real initials. Simeon sees a dark figure over his left shoulder as he opens the ledger, but it is gone when he turns, and no one else saw it. By spending Luck on a Library Use roll, he finds Johnson's entry for November 18, 1925: Johnson traded the watch, worth about ten thousand dollars in today's money and more than the radios he got for it. Billy plans to interview the pawn shop's owner and then the medical examiner, Dr. Jared Sylvester, and the group decides to go with him. As they leave, a second boater stares in at them through the diner window. Simeon wants to talk to him, but the others pile into Billy's car and Tallahassee goes out alone. Asked about the ferryman, the man says that he is "here to take us for a ride," hugs him, pins his arms, and whispers that the boat man is here and is going to take him. Cold hands close around Tallahassee's throat, and everything goes black.

==Funny Moments==

* An in-world radio program opens the episode, with a guest named Montgomery who lives in a box by the river, keeps asking whether anyone has "any steam," and explains that he was arrested with "Dirty Mike and the boys" in the mayor's car "with an old bottle of mustard and a poodle." The host cuts him off with "Okay, okay, never mind, that's quite enough."
* As soon as Billy leaves for the diner, [[Tallahassee Turner]] announces, "Alright guys, Bill is gone, now's our chance to be bad."
* When Billy asks [[Ezra Denny]] whether he has seen the others and promises not to get into trouble, Ezra deadpans that they definitely wouldn't, and the table adds, "Not those guys, they're straight as an arrow... salt of the earth."
* The Keeper reveals the name of the pawn shop and says, "I love that name, that's my greatest name ever." The fishy smell, the bucket of prawns and the question "Do they have prawns by any chance?" become running gags.
* Nobody has breaking and entering skills or lock picks. The group argues about hammers and bars on the back windows for several minutes before noticing that the front door is just glass: "We've just been standing here doing stupid crap this whole time."
* Someone reminds the table that [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] is "an upstanding psychologist" and asks whether he really wants to throw a brick through a window.
* [[Dom Druncard]] fumbles his first try at a lock and smashes his own hand with the brick. A player adds that now he cannot play at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.
* The table argues over whether the police took fingerprints in the 1920s ("No, they don't." "Yes, they do."). The "RG" on the watch is guessed as "Richard Gonson," then "Richard Gonads."
* Tallahassee's first getaway drive is "driving erratically and too fast," and later Dom explains that he took only one watch so that it would look like they had come for a single item.
* At the diner, the group hands over the ledger as "allegedly found," and says that they found the watch "on the sidewalk, mysteriously." Billy says, "Don't give me any details of anything illegal," and then announces that he has learned that he can drink five cups of coffee in an hour.
* Reading "Pawn and Prawns" on the ledger, a player asks, "What kind of crossover market is there in people who want to buy prawns?" and says, "I heard you can get good prawns there. Let's go get our prawn on."
* Billy tries to say that he must go to the university and goes through "the unibomber... the unibrow... the Unicef" before landing on the morgue.
* After Simeon sees a dark figure behind him and asks whether anyone else saw it, the table points out that there are lots of people sitting in the booths.
* While the group hunts for an "RG" to match the watch, the Keeper jokes that someone could turn and realize that their best friend is also an RG and shoot him, a ''Memento'' reference that sets off a debate about the film.

==Notable Quotes==

* "I found what we're looking for, boys. A bucket full of prawns." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "Alright guys, Bill is gone, now's our chance to be bad." —[[Tallahassee Turner]]
* "Doing great, doing what I love." —[[Ezra Denny]]
* "Don't give me any details of anything illegal, but did you guys learn anything?" —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "He's only been dead for a couple hours and yet he looks days dead." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "To me this starts creeping into the supernatural." —[[Billy McConnell]]
* "Did you guys see someone behind me?" —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "He's here to take us for a ride." —the second boater
* "The boat man is here and he's gonna take you." —the second boater

Shen

2026-10-27T17:05:54Z

William Jodeit: Book vanished from Glenn's bag

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[3.502: Monster Squad]]

Shen is an elf with carrot-orange hair who runs the Stoneway Inn in Evanstone, a tavern that is completely empty when the party arrives. In [[3.502: Monster Squad]] he asks for a gold piece per room, but [[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]] haggles him down to a few silver with Persuasion and a failed dance routine, and he answers the cat in elvish when it turns out that the cat speaks it. He explains that people have been vanishing and dying and that the trouble began about when Mayor Warder Ebengard left town a week earlier, tells the party of rumors about a vault and rituals at the mayor's manor, and says that he has only lived in Evanstone a few years and was not always an innkeeper. When pressed on his angle, he says that he simply would like not to die in the night. He leads the party out through the back of the inn, promises not to lock the doors and asks them to knock thrice when they return.

In [[3.505: Lighting the Way]] the party suspects him of being a "secret villain" and finds the inn empty and silent when it returns. The mayor's memories, which [[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]] gets by eating the mayor's brain in the cellar, show Shen seated in a circle of symbols calling up silvery entities, which the party takes to be the dead lights, and later interrogating and beating the mayor in a basement. He serves one of the beings beyond the ways, wants them opened so that its servants, the "preparers," can be sent through, and wants the book that the party took from the vault. After the party sleeps, the book vanishes from Glenn's bag. At the obsidian pillar on the hill, Shen thanks the party for doing the "difficult labors" in the one place where he could not answer the questions himself, says that he has dozens or hundreds of preparers ready to wipe clean a world with a blue sky, and leaves the party to "play with my friends" as shrieks rise from the trees.

In [[3.506: Brother's Keeper]] he waits at the obsidian pillar with the stolen book and three ghouls that dig out of the ground, says that he has always hated cats and calls down a pillar of silver fire on Major Baker's Cat. Struck by an arrow, his courage cracks ("This isn't supposed to happen like this"), and a failed save against Glenn's Dissonant Whispers makes him flee, though he keeps up his eldritch blasts and tells Glenn that he is a great innkeeper. Cornered at the edge of the hilltop, he dies when Drandy's acid breath melts his face, cursing Drandy to the end. With his death the book becomes readable and the party completes the ritual to open the way without sending through the entities he was preparing.

==Appearances==
*[[3.502: Monster Squad]]
*[[3.505: Lighting the Way]]
*[[3.506: Brother's Keeper]]

Glen Ghoulia

2026-10-27T17:05:52Z

William Jodeit: Glenn has the book and the watch in 3.505

Played by: [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Keeper of the Ways]]

Glenn Ghoulia is a ghoul in a fitted suit and paisley ascot, carrying a loot case. In [[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]] he introduces himself to the party, says he is a ghoul who is perfectly harmless unless you are already dead, and is the one most eager to find a pub in Evanstone.

In [[3.502: Monster Squad]] he and Major Baker's Cat haggle for rooms at the Stoneway Inn, pitching themselves as a traveling comedy and musical act with his trombone. He questions the innkeeper Shen about Mayor Warder Ebengard, catches a whiff of rotting death with his grave nose, and casts faerie fire when strange shapes close in on the party.

In [[3.503: Polterheist]] he gives Tim bardic inspiration to pick the padlock on the gates of Ebengard Manor, plays the manor's piano forte, and fights one of the black stone creatures with his rapier and vicious mockery ("your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries").

In [[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]] he casts Detect Magic as a ritual and finds the goggles, gauntlets, ring and mirror glowing, inspects the mirror and sees only his own reflection, and looks down the hole with his darkvision. He is lowered on a rope above the gelatinous cube and mocks it to death.

In [[3.505: Lighting the Way]] he sees a woman banish three intruders with a burning symbol in the lantern's first window, then offers to compose a song about the mayor who "bravely turned his tail." Back at the inn he smells rot, tracks it to the storm cellar and finds the mayor's body. With his Psychic Feast ability he eats the mayor's brain and sees how Shen killed him. He is carrying the book in his bag and is on watch when it goes missing in the night. He then passes Bardic Inspiration to a friend on the run up the hill.

In [[3.506: Brother's Keeper]] he is bitten down to five and then three hit points by a ghoul, drinks a healing potion that Tim hands him and casts Healing Word on the Cat. His Bardic Inspiration helps the Cat claw out a ghoul's eyes, and his Dissonant Whispers makes Shen roll a natural 1 and flee. He mocks Shen as a terrible innkeeper and gives his last inspiration die to Drandy.

==Appearances==
*[[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]]
*[[3.502: Monster Squad]]
*[[3.503: Polterheist]]
*[[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]]
*[[3.505: Lighting the Way]]
*[[3.506: Brother's Keeper]]

Drandy Savage

2026-10-27T17:05:47Z

William Jodeit: Credit Drandy with first touching the black stone and the mirror

Played by: [[Donovan Bollard]]

First appeared in: [[Keeper of the Ways]]

Drandy Savage is a black dragonborn paladin with a shield, a red cape, boots and a holy symbol around his neck. In [[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]] he first announces himself as "Dragon Bee Daddy, fire breather from the north" before remembering his real name. He swears a lot for a paladin, peppers his speech with "hell yeah, brother", and uses his Divine Sense as the party enters Evanstone.

In [[3.502: Monster Squad]] he offers his services as a paladin to the shopkeeper Alam in Evanstone and asks why nobody goes out at night, shares a vision of another place with Tim, and uses his Divine Sense in the alleys to pick up presences that are neither quite undead nor quite fiend.

In [[3.503: Polterheist]] he turns a dead light's tendril aside with his holy-symbol shield, which glows with white light, and leaps the rooftops of Evanstone to reach the mayor's manor. He smashes a window with his sword to get the party inside, and in the master bedroom he is the first to touch one of the black stones, which unfolds into a spiky stone creature. He later slices into one of them with his longsword.

In [[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]] he searches the desk in the mayor's study and turns up twenty gold, a pouch of keys and a ring of jumping, which lets him cast jump as a bonus action. He is the first to touch the mirror in the study, and his hand goes straight through, showing that it is a portal. He offers to jump down the hole and volunteers his acid breath against the gelatinous cube.

In [[3.505: Lighting the Way]] he lights the lantern in the mayor's study and sees two boys at a window, one of whom falls through it, and then a man in glasses performing a ritual that sends five minds across the void. The DM tells him that he is Dr. Simeon, whose consciousness crossed over into a dragonborn's body in search of his lost brother. He also calls Tim "brother" and plans to fetch him home.

In [[3.506: Brother's Keeper]] he holds the front line behind his shield against Shen's ghouls, lands a Divine Smite that nearly cuts one in half, and charges Shen across the hilltop, ignoring his eldritch blasts. His acid breath melts Shen's face and kills him, and he says that he has to get his brother Tim home. With the book readable, the party finishes the ritual that opens the way.

==Appearances==
*[[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]]
*[[3.502: Monster Squad]]
*[[3.503: Polterheist]]
*[[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]]
*[[3.505: Lighting the Way]]
*[[3.506: Brother's Keeper]]

Timeon Kantstandyerbitz

2026-10-27T17:05:45Z

William Jodeit: Remove Tallahassee mind claim; note Timeon becomes a player character after Radio Man

Played by: [[Seth Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Keeper of the Ways]]

Spent most of his childhood and early life in a parallel universe on the other side of a mirror. Claims that his brother [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz]] pushed him in, though this is disputed.

In [[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]] he appears as Tim, a cloaked assassin with thick black hair who introduces himself as the shadow of death and the grim reaper. He wakes on the hilltop with only fragments of memory, advises the group to keep to the shadows and stay close to the trees, and urges them to move on from the black pillar toward Evanstone.

In [[3.502: Monster Squad]] he is caught trying to look over the goods behind the counter of Alam's general store, then shares a vision of another place with Drandy and feels that the two of them have known each other. Later, as strange presences close in on the party in the alleys of Evanstone, he picks the lock on the back door of an abandoned shack with a total of 26.

In [[3.503: Polterheist]] he swings his rapier through a dead light to no effect, picks the padlock on the gates of Ebengard Manor with Glenn's help, and snaps his picks on the front door after two 1s in a row. In the master bedroom he helps fight the spiky stone creatures that unfold from the black stones, and he finishes one with an arrow through its black heart.

In [[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]] he finds a hat that gives him darkvision in the mayor's closet, picks one display-case lock and smashes the glass on two others, takes and attunes to the strength-19 gauntlets, and holds back at the mirror at first. He suggests a flaming arrow, dipped in lantern oil, against the gelatinous cube.

In [[3.505: Lighting the Way]] he touches the armored statue in the pyramid chamber and is asked who he is, answering first "Jackie Chan" and then "Tim." He admits to himself that he wants the ways for his own gain, but passes the statue's test with a lucky 16 on Deception. His window in the lantern shows a boy calling his name, and the DM reveals that he is Dr. Simeon's long-lost brother, Timeon, who fell through the window as a boy. He picks the lock on the storm cellar doors and takes out his short bow on the run up the hill.

In [[3.506: Brother's Keeper]] he is the only one to fail the Wisdom save against the dread of the obelisk, even after spending two points of Luck, so he cannot move closer to Shen and fights from range. He passes Glenn a healing potion, stabs a ghoul with his rapier and kills another with a short bow arrow through its eye, and uses Luck for a short bow hit on Shen. When the book is finally readable and the way is open, he is torn about going home because of everyone he has killed, and as a presence that has been in his mind for a while departs, he steps through the gate.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] the Keeper says that Dr. Simeon found him through a dangerous bit of magic and a break-in at Miskatonic University's artifact storage. He is home and safe but still struggling to adjust, and he has gone back to the old family home. Simeon has not heard from him in a few days.

After [[Radio Man]], Timeon becomes a fully fledged player character.

==Appearances==
*[[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]]
*[[3.502: Monster Squad]]
*[[3.503: Polterheist]]
*[[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]]
*[[3.505: Lighting the Way]]
*[[3.506: Brother's Keeper]]

==Mentioned==
*[[401: Static Prevails]]

Notable quotes:

Keeper of the Ways

2026-10-27T17:05:43Z

William Jodeit: Tim is Timeon, Simeon's lost brother

[[File:Keeper of the Ways.webp|right|500px]]
==Summary==

This one was a bit different. It was actually a D&D campaign; not Call of Cthulhu. The investigators sent their minds to another dimension (a D&D dimension) to rescue [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz]]'s long-lost brother, [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]].

The campaign runs for six episodes (3.501 to 3.506), released between [[The Fall of New Jerusalem]] and [[Radio Man]]. It is a D&D 5e game using Sandy Petersen's Cthulhu Mythos for 5e instead of Call of Cthulhu, with [[Alex Morrison]] as the DM. It begins in [[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]], when five amnesiac strangers wake on a hilltop beside a black pillar above the town of Evanstone.

==Campaign Recap==

Five amnesiac strangers wake on a hilltop above Evanstone, a village where people vanish at night and silvery dead lights drift through the streets. The elf innkeeper [[Shen]] points them toward the mayor's manor, where they break in, cross a mirror portal and descend to the Obsidian Ossuary of the protectors of the ways. A statue tests them and the vault beyond holds a book and a lantern that shows each of them a past life on Earth: [[Drandy Savage]] is Dr. Simeon, [[Mathon]] is [[Billy McConnell]], and [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]] is Simeon's lost brother, Timeon. In the manor's cellar they find the mayor dead, and Glenn's reading of his memories shows that Shen serves a being beyond the ways and wants the book, which then vanishes. On the hill in [[3.506: Brother's Keeper]] they kill Shen and his ghouls, and then finish the ritual that opens the way, without letting Shen's entities through, and send the brother home.

==Characters==

*[[Drandy Savage]]
*[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
*[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
*[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
*[[Mathon]]

==Episodes==

[[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]]

[[3.502: Monster Squad]]

[[3.503: Polterheist]]

[[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]]

[[3.505: Lighting the Way]]

[[3.506: Brother's Keeper]]

3.502: Monster Squad

2026-10-27T17:05:42Z

William Jodeit: Note Jennifer as a running nickname for Shen

==Synopsis==

[[3.502: Monster Squad]] picks up where [[3.501: Under a Strange Sky]] left off, with the five amnesiac strangers in the market square of Evanstone as evening comes on, the rain starts to fall and the shops are about to close. A flash of lightning gives them another quick glimpse of that other place, with a strange sky, enormous structures stretching up until they almost scrape it, and something huge roaring past overhead before it is gone. They agree that they all saw the same giant creature, and the DM, [[Alex Morrison]], offers a Yog-Sothothery check to make sense of it. The rolls are poor, and the best they can say is that they have not seen a single animal in town apart from the cat, which he suggests may be why Sheriff Terrick Cobb was so pleased to meet him.

The party splits up to find a place to stay. [[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]] and [[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]] go to the Stoneway Inn to bargain for rooms, while [[Drandy Savage]], [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]] and [[Mathon]] head into the general store, where a bell over the door rings as it does in every world. The shopkeeper, Alam, sells most of the ordinary adventuring gear, and Mathon, who wants a cloak to cover his alarming appearance, buys a large, slightly burned one for two gold pieces after a failed attempt to haggle him down. Tim sees some nicer wares behind the counter and tries to use the others as a distraction to sneak a look at them. Alam catches him leaning over the counter and tells him that the red bottles are potions of healing at fifty gold pieces each, well beyond Tim's means. Meanwhile Drandy introduces himself, offers his services as a paladin and asks why nobody is out at night. An Insight roll shows that the question rattles Alam. He admits that people have been vanishing, that there are screams in the night, and that stepping outside brings on a cold feeling like something reaching inside you. He says he would leave if he were not mortgaged up to his eyeballs, tells them to be indoors before dark and to stay near a fire, and locks up behind them.

At the Stoneway Inn, Glenn and the cat meet [[Shen]], an elf with carrot-orange hair who runs a completely empty tavern. The two sell themselves as a traveling comedy and musical act, and Glenn offers a ballad about the inn in place of payment. Shen wants a gold piece per room, and the cat works him down with Persuasion and a failed dance routine until the price comes to a few silver. The cat also turns out to speak elvish, and Shen, the first elf the party has met, answers him in kind. When the others arrive, Glenn and the cat try to tell them that the rooms cost far more than they actually did. Over a bowl of milk for the cat, and a promise of dead flesh from the basement for Glenn, Shen explains that murders and disappearances have plagued Evanstone, that people shutter their windows and keep fires blazing, and that no one seems to go missing while indoors. The hill is a taboo place that no local goes near, and he has only lived in town a few years himself. When asked about Mayor Warder Ebengard, he takes some convincing, and a silver piece slid across the counter, before he says that the trouble started right around the time the mayor left town about a week ago. He tells them of rumors of strange goings-on at Ebengard Manor, of people disappearing over the years, as if the town were being offered up, and of a special vault and rituals. He thinks that if anyone has a way to stop what is happening, it is whatever the mayor has hidden there. Shen also lets slip that he was not always an innkeeper and may be able to help them decipher things, and when pressed on his angle, he says he simply would like not to die in the night.

The cat lays out a plan to sneak into the mayor's estate, find the vault, pick the lock and free all of the missing people, who will then sing songs in the party's honor. Most of the group agrees to go that night, and Shen promises not to lock the doors on them and says to knock thrice when they return. Lightning flashes again, and Drandy and Tim fail Wisdom saving throws. Each sees the other place once more, then a room that is almost familiar, and when the vision fades the two of them look at each other and feel as though they have known each other. Shen leads the party out the back door past the kitchen, and the group heads for the manor, the largest building in town behind its high wall. The rain is coming down hard under a faint red glow from the moon. The cat has a climbing speed and takes to the rooftops as a lookout, but Tim slips off the wet roof and lands in the mud. Glenn's grave nose catches a hint of rotting death, and everyone rolls well on stealth as they slip from house to house.

At a T intersection, Drandy's Divine Sense picks up something ahead and to his right that is neither undead nor fiend but oddly in between, and then a third presence behind. The cat sees nothing from the roof, and Drandy warns that something is coming from every alley and starts to climb. Tim picks the lock on a back door with a total of 26, and he and Glenn slip into a dusty, one-room shack with ash all over the floor and every window locked from the inside. They stack their heads in the doorway to peek out, and Glenn casts faerie fire toward the intersection. Violet, shapeless outlines shimmer to life in the alley, one of them reaching a cold tendril toward Tim, another sliding toward Drandy, and others closing in from the intersection. The whole party can see them now, with advantage against them, and the DM calls for initiative as the episode ends.

==Funny Moments==

* The party's Yog-Sothothery and animal-handling rolls come up so low that the table calls it "the worst roll ever," and when someone says they saw Cthulhu himself, the table asks whether he sings. A round of Cthulhu's "song" follows, with the review "that first one wasn't so great, but that second one, it really transported me."
* The DM again slips into the old characters' names. He calls Drandy "Dr. [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Simeon]]," Tim becomes "Tallahassee Tim," and Glenn is called Dom, as in [[Dom Druncard]], when he steps into the shack.
* Tim sees a general store full of goods and decides that his first move is to steal. After being caught he says, "I'm a thief," and then "I'm at conflict with myself." He later offers to "come back later and slice your throat" before adding, "Just kidding," asks where he can smash clay pots full of rupees, and keeps calling the shopkeeper "John."
* Alam insists that business is great, right up until Mathon points out that the sheriff said no one comes through town. He then admits things have been "a little slow," and that he is "mortgaged up to my eyeballs" with terrible credit.
* Mathon introduces himself to the shopkeeper as "Mathon" and then as "just Barry McConnell," a callback to the [[Billy McConnell]] voice from last episode.
* The cat greets Glenn with "you ugly freak" and keeps calling him that, and the pair pitch themselves to Shen as a traveling comedy duo. The cat is Glenn's agent and manager, whom he takes along because he "drives a hard bargain."
* To get the price of the rooms down, the cat prances across the counter, sings "I'm a kitty cat and I dance, dance, dance," and then falls off the counter. The DM rules that it is good enough for three silver.
* Glenn asks Shen whether he has any flesh of the dead, and Shen answers that he does, but will have to go down to the basement to get it.
* Shen tells the party that "bangers don't pay the bills," and that "daddy needs food," while his empty tavern sits behind him. The party calls him Jennifer from then on, apparently as a running nickname, and he goes along with it.
* Told to knock thrice, the table works out that this means not once or twice, but that twice followed immediately by thrice would probably count.
* Tim and Glenn stack their heads in the doorway like a cartoon, and the DM notes that Glenn's wet hair is dripping all over Tim's. Tim answers that his cloak is waterproof.
* A joke about someone's mother is met with Glenn's reply, "my mother is a delightful ghoul."
* The DM rules that the heavily armored party members slip through town so stealthily that they stop at every corner to pull up their chain mail, and someone at the T intersection announces, "I pity the fool."

==Notable Quotes==
* "Dude, I speak elvish." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "Just Barry McConnell." —[[Mathon]]
* "I'm mortgaged up to my eyeballs." —Alam
* "Bangers don't pay the bills." —[[Shen]]
* "It's almost as if the people of this town were being offered up." —[[Shen]]
* "Knock thrice when you arrive." —[[Shen]]
* "We're heroes, they love us, they sing songs in our honor." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "I can't really sense it. But it's there, brothers." —[[Drandy Savage]]
* "I'm at conflict with myself." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "My mother is a delightful ghoul." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]

3.506: Brother's Keeper

2026-10-27T17:05:36Z

William Jodeit: Fix spelling of Timeon

==Synopsis==

[[3.506: Brother's Keeper]] picks up where [[3.505: Lighting the Way]] left off, with the party on the hilltop clearing in front of the black obelisk. The DM, [[Alex Morrison]], lets the dread creep over them again and calls for a Wisdom save. Only [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]] fails, even after spending two points of Luck, and he is stuck with a level of dread that keeps him from moving any closer to the obelisk and gives him disadvantage on ability checks while it is in view. He decides that he is within short bow range anyway. At the far end of the clearing, about fifty feet away, [[Shen]] stands beside the obelisk, chanting out of the stolen book. Three ghouls wait about thirty feet off, one on the left and two on the right, and the party sets up in a flying V with [[Drandy Savage]] and his shield out front, [[Major Baker's Cat]] bouncing up and down with rage and Tim and [[Mathon]] at the back.

Shen turns around, says that he has "always hated cats," points the book at the Cat and calls a pillar of silvery fire down on him for 12 damage. The ghouls rush in. The Cat has readied an attack and lands a natural 20 on the first one, but the ghoul hits him back for 14, halved by his rage, and its venom is shrugged off with a Constitution save of 19. The second ghoul goes for Drandy and his shield knocks it aside, while the third sinks its teeth into [[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]], dropping him to five hit points. Tim, who had been thinking of using his new cunning action to kite them, instead tosses Glenn a healing potion. Glenn drinks it, mocks the ghoul in front of the Cat, and later gives the Cat a Bardic Inspiration die that turns a miss into a hit, and the Cat claws the first ghoul's eyes out. Drandy's counterattack lands and a Divine Smite makes his sword burst with white light, nearly cutting the second ghoul in half, and Tim's arrow through its eye finishes it.

Mathon's first arrow at Shen glances off the obelisk, but Glenn's Dissonant Whispers makes Shen roll a natural 1 and run another thirty feet away, though he keeps his concentration. Shen drags the pillar over to Drandy, and a ghoul bites Glenn down to three hit points. Mathon's next arrow hits Shen in the shoulder, and Shen blurts out "This isn't supposed to happen like this" before he blasts Mathon with an eldritch blast for 7. The Cat disembowels the last ghoul, Tim uses his Luck to guide a short bow arrow into Shen's stomach, and Glenn's insults about Shen's hospitality do nothing to him. Shen backs away from Drandy, who is running at him, until he is at the edge of the hilltop with nowhere left to go. Drandy and the Cat catch up with him, and Drandy breathes a stream of acid that catches the Cat as well and melts Shen's face off. As he dies Shen curses Drandy, though Drandy's player insists that what he really did was pry the innkeeper's mouth open and "Godzilla" him.

With Shen dead, the hilltop is quiet. The party hopes that the entities he was summoning have gone with him. The book now reads as plain English, Tim's dread fades, and the party finds the spell that opens the way, along with the memory that a black mirror is the only way to send a whole body from one world to another. They also remember how to detach their minds from the borrowed bodies. They decide to send Tim, who is Simeon's long-lost brother, through the gate, and finish the ritual Shen began, only without sending through the entities he was preparing, since they remember how much trouble one of those silvery lights caused on Earth. The pillar ripples, a field of stars opens in it, and the DM asks Tim what he does. Torn, Tim says that he has been here so long that he does not know how to go back, and when a friend tells him to come home, he answers, "I've killed so many people." He steps toward the gate anyway, and as he does, the presence that has been in his mind for so long finally leaves. He keeps to the old ways and steps through, and the campaign ends.

==Funny Moments==

* The DM opens with a pun about finding "hot Melf's in your area."
* The table groans over the Wisdom save ("I hate wisdom"), and Tim burns Luck twice and is still the only one with dread. Another player mutters that the party "should have killed him in the inn."
* Players float a plan to "totem pole" and carry Tim closer. Another player lines up the party and notes that "Timeon and Billy McConnell are last," while the Cat is "bouncing up and down" doing "kitty rage."
* Shen announces "I always hated cats," which gets a "wow" from the table.
* The DM compares the Cat and the first ghoul trading blows to "Rocky and Apollo" with a "double knock out." The Cat's natural 20 is acted out as a pile-driving leap with both claws, and when someone asks whether he literally clawed its eyes out, the DM says "just about."
* Tim keeps rolling ones on his d6 ("always a one"), and Mathon, after a 1 of his own, says "I hate this game."
* Glenn announces "I run away" before drinking his potion, and later says, "I feel like no matter what I do, everybody's dead."
* Glenn's Vicious Mockery calls a ghoul "a substandard ghoul with no musical talent," and the DM rules that it is not bothered, since it knows that it is "a rad ghoul." Shen answers Glenn's insults about his hospitality with "I'm a great innkeeper."
* Glenn gives his last Bardic Inspiration to Drandy, with "our hero, even though you have an ugly face."
* The Cat, caught in the edge of Drandy's acid breath, says "Oh, what a way to go," and after taking only three damage, the table says it was worth it.
* Drandy's player works out his acid breath save DC out loud (eight plus his Constitution modifier plus his proficiency bonus) and adds that melting Shen's face "would be pretty cool."
* The DM compares Shen's melting face to the end of the Indiana Jones movies. Drandy's player narrates the kill in a wrestler's voice ("it's Monday night and I'm feeling crazy") and then asks to change it so that he opens Shen's mouth and "Godzilla" kills him.

==Notable Quotes==

* "I always hated cats." —[[Shen]]
* "This isn't supposed to happen like this." —[[Shen]]
* "I'm a great innkeeper." —[[Shen]]
* "Drandy! You bastard!" —[[Shen]]
* "I feel like no matter what I do, everybody's dead." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "You're a substandard ghoul with no musical talent." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "You're a terrible innkeeper, your hospitality sucked, and you have no soul." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "Drandy, our hero, even though you have an ugly face." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "Oh, what a way to go." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "I hate this game." —[[Mathon]]
* "Stupid frickin d6, always a one." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "I've killed so many people. How could I ever go back?" —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "I gotta make it home, my brother, Tim." —[[Drandy Savage]]
* "...you feel this presence that's been in your mind for a while now finally depart." —Alex Morrison

==Teaser==

The episode ends with a pointer to the next campaign: "stay tuned for [[Radio Man]]," with a release date coming soon.

==Outro==

The outro marks the end of the season with thanks to the audience for sticking with a long haul to get here, and says that the show is excited for 2023. It thanks nine new supporters who joined the show's Patreon, and it mentions a new one-shot posted there for the Confidential tier and above, "Under a Winter Snow," Keepered by [[Seth Morrison]].

3.505: Lighting the Way

2026-10-27T17:05:34Z

William Jodeit: Tim is Timeon, Simeon's lost brother; Glenn had the book and the watch

==Synopsis==

[[3.505: Lighting the Way]] picks up where [[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]] left off, with the party in the black pyramid's chamber beneath the mayor's manor and [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]] walking up to touch the armored statue. The DM, [[Alex Morrison]], gives him flashes of the strange place with its tall buildings and its odd blue sky, then a voice in his head that asks who he is. Tim answers "Jackie Chan," then settles for "Tim." The voice asks whether he seeks to protect the ways from those who would misuse them. Tim says yes, and the voice digs into his mind for the truth, since what he really wants is to use them for his own gain. He spends his luck on a re-roll, gets a 16 on Deception, and the DM says that the statue does "not see deception" in his heart. The statue's spear slides aside, a door opens, and the party gets a vision of the black pyramid as it looked long ago, before it was buried under a hill, with creatures pouring through it into world after world.

Beyond the door is a vault with a green-leather book in a language no one can read, a lantern that seems out of place, two potions of healing and a statue of a slender woman with her arms held out. The party puts the book and the lantern in the statue's hands, where they give off a faint magical pulse and nothing else, then takes everything back. The book gives anyone who touches it an icky feeling, and the lantern needs oil. Each time a new person fills and lights it, a window appears in the wall and shows that person a scene from another life on a far-off Earth. [[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]] sees a woman use a burning symbol on the floor to banish three attackers who have come into her home. Tim sees a dark-haired boy of twelve or thirteen banging on a window and calling his name, and then a man in an office high up in a skyscraper.

The party then takes the book and wonders about [[Shen]], the innkeeper, who asked them to bring him whatever they found in the vault. "Secret villain," someone answers. Before they climb back up the rope, they try lighting a torch on top of the pyramid, since the book has a picture of a black pyramid with a flame over it, and nothing happens. In the mayor's study, they find a storeroom with a big container of lamp oil, and [[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]] pours it into the lantern with his mouth and sees a soldier's funeral and an old man finding a woman's body on the floor.

[[Drandy Savage]]'s window shows two boys, the younger of whom puts his hand on the glass and falls through it, and then the older boy as a grown man in glasses, with a curled mustache and suspenders covered in little hearts. He draws a symbol on the floor and reads aloud from a book, surrounded by four other men, and a light shoots from each of their heads. The DM calls him [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] and explains what happened. He and his friends sent their minds across the void in a ritual taken from a book that [[Percival Warthrop]], who also gave his name as William James Henry, had mailed to him. The book spoke of a black mirror that once belonged to John Dee, and the ritual was meant to find a mirror on the far side so that the brother who fell through the window could be brought back. The party gets the pieces of it. Drandy is Dr. Simeon in a dragonborn's body. [[Mathon]], after a vision of a fight in a shack and a ruined city by a lake, remembers that he is [[Billy McConnell]]. Tim is [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]], Simeon's long-lost brother, the boy who fell through the window. Two more of the travelers landed in a house cat and in a ghoul resting in a burrow, which fits the Cat and Glenn. Whenever the lantern is lit, their memories of Earth feel real and their memories of their bodies in this world feel like a dream.

The party decides to rest in the study, with the Cat taking the first watch. Glenn, who is carrying the book in his bag, hears a creak in the floor during his watch, but nothing comes of it, and in the morning everyone has reached level 2. Back at the inn, which is silent and empty, Glenn catches the smell of rot, tracks it to the storm cellar and finds the body of Mayor Warder Ebengard, who has been dead for about a week. Glenn eats the mayor's brain with his Psychic Feast and sees the mayor's memories. They show the mayor with the book, which he knew as "The Key and the Gate," then walking in on Shen in a back room of the inn as Shen sits inside a circle of symbols and calls up silvery entities that slip out through every crack, and then being questioned and beaten by Shen in a basement. Shen serves one of the beings beyond the ways and wants them opened so that its servants can be sent through to prepare for its coming.

The party reaches the same conclusion, that Shen has been sending out the dead lights, killed the mayor, and wants the book. When Glenn reaches into his bag for it, the book is gone, and they realize it was taken in the night, on his watch. They dash up the hill, passing Constitution saves on the run thanks to a Bardic Inspiration die, while Tim, and others, plan to open fire from a distance. In the clearing they find Shen at the polished obsidian pillar holding the book. He greets them as if he had expected them, thanks them for doing the "difficult labors" in the one place where the questions needed a virtue he does not have, and says that he is opening the ways for his master and the "preparers." He has seen in his visions a world with a blue sky, buildings that scrape the sky and machines that fly, and says that he has "dozens, hundreds" ready to wipe it clean. When someone tells him they have already been there, he tells them to stay and play with his friends, and the episode ends with guttural sounds and shrieks in the trees around them.

==Funny Moments==

* Asked who he is by the statue, Tim says "I'm Jackie Chan" before correcting himself to "I'm Tim." Asked his favorite color, he answers "I seek the holy grail," and another player predicts that this will be like "the statue scene in the NeverEnding Story," with lasers from its eyes.
* After Tim's lucky 16 on Deception, a player predicts that he will walk out of there with "night vision goggles, super strength goggles, and the ways," and another says "seems legit."
* The table argues over what language the green book is written in, trying Common, Elvish, Dragon and Portuguese before the DM says that it is in English.
* The party puts the book and the lantern in the hands of the slender statue and gets a magical pulse and nothing more. A symbol of a pyramid with a flame on it prompts someone to call it "the Triforce."
* A player reveals that he has ten torches and hands one to everybody. The table runs out of lamp oil over and over, since only the burglar's pack had any.
* The table calls the innkeeper "Shenifer" and decides that he is a "secret villain" without any evidence. When the mayor's memories prove it, the table's reaction is "called it," followed by "I called it as well."
* Once he realizes that he is Dr. Simeon, Drandy is told that "Dragon Bee Daddy" would have made more sense and that he picked his own names.
* The DM insists that it was not his plan for Seth to name his character Tim, and that he only just decided the name belongs to the long-lost brother.
* Glenn follows the smell of rot to the storm cellar with a Sniff roll with advantage, calls the basement "delicious," sits down to eat the mayor's brain, offers some to the others with "I don't want to be rude," and observes "I don't normally eat this many carbs."
* Glenn's new level adds a +1 from Jack of All Trades to his Sniff roll, for a 17 that the DM calls "pretty dang good." He also thinks that Song of Rest may be a second-level spell, and the DM explains that it is just an ability.
* Glenn offers to compose a song about how the mayor, if he ran away, "bravely turned his tail" when danger came, in the manner of the Brave Sir Robin song.
* The Cat wakes up the next person on watch by "bapping" them with his paw, beginning with the ghoul.
* On the run up the hill, players call out their ranged attacks one after another: Tim's short bow, another player's longbow, "150 feet," and a javelin. Glenn announces that he will "viciously mock" the villain.
* Glenn passes his Bardic Inspiration to a teammate with "homie, I know you can do it."
* When Shen invites the party to join him in wiping out the blue-sky world, someone answers that they have "already been there."

==Notable Quotes==

* "I'm Jackie Chan." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "I seek the holy grail." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "I do not see deception in your heart." —Alex Morrison
* "My name really is Billy McConnell." —[[Mathon]]
* "I climb back up the rope with my paw." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "This basement smells delicious." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "I don't normally eat this many carbs." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "Homie, I know you can do it." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "I'm going to viciously mock him." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "I do appreciate you doing all the difficult labors for me." —[[Shen]]
* "I have dozens, hundreds ready to clear and wipe it clean." —[[Shen]]
* "I suppose maybe you can just stay here and play with my friends." —[[Shen]]

3.504: Gleaming the Cube

2026-10-27T17:05:32Z

William Jodeit: Drandy is the first to touch the portal mirror

==Synopsis==

[[3.504: Gleaming the Cube]] picks up where [[3.503: Polterheist]] left off, with the party in the mayor's master bedroom after the stone creatures have fallen, and the DM, [[Alex Morrison]], lets them finish the search. They turn up a jeweled comb and a bag of about fifty gold coins in a dresser, and [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]] goes back to the closet to look behind the clothes for the vault. He doesn't find one, but he does find a hat that, when worn, gives him darkvision out to sixty feet. It was supposed to be a pair of goggles until the hat turned up. With nothing else upstairs, the group goes back down, over to the other side of the stairs, and into a grand study with a big wooden desk, bookshelves, a fireplace, a large mirror and a few glass cases on the walls.

[[Drandy Savage]] searches the desk and finds another twenty gold, a pouch full of keys and a ring. Tim picks one display-case lock but fails on two others, so he smashes the glass, and the party takes a decorative sword with a gold hilt and obsidian gems, a helmet and a pair of gauntlets. The gauntlets are no decoration, as the DM warns that they are "power gloves." While the others plunder the room, [[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]] spends ten minutes casting Detect Magic as a ritual. A billiards room and a dining room turn up nothing, but back in the study he sees the goggles, the gauntlets, the ring and the mirror all glowing. [[Mathon]], who feels "super not magical," argues for a short rest so that the party can attune the items and regain hit points and second winds, and the group takes one. Tim takes and attunes to the gauntlets, which raise his strength to 19, and the ring turns out to be a ring of jumping. Glenn walks up to the mirror and sees only his own reflection, but when Drandy is the first to touch it, his hand goes straight through. It is a portal. Everyone but Tim, who would rather someone put a head through first, steps through, and Tim soon follows, into a dark room that is empty except for a large metal plate in the floor with four keyholes, labeled in Elvish: the true king, the sentinel, the wise one and the rivals. [[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]] reads the plate with his Uranian eyes. The party matches keys from the pouch to each lock, with the cat turning each one with his mouth, until the plate rolls aside and reveals a hole straight down into the dark.

Glenn looks down with his ghoul darkvision and sees a huge room below, too deep for him to see the floor. The group has no ladder, so they tie their ropes together, and the cat is lowered into the hole. While he dangles, a Yog-Sothothery check turns up a memory of a family who were assigned, generation after generation, to protect "the ways," whose symbol is black stone, and of a place called the Obsidian Ossuary. The family's name is Ebengard, and the town is Evanstone. Further down, the cat's perception check shows him that the floor is dusty everywhere except one clean spot directly under the opening, and that the torch the party dropped, which was Mathon's, is hovering a few feet above it. He and the party work out that it is a gelatinous cube, and the cat asks to be pulled back up. After the party debates whether to shoot it, burn it, dissolve it with acid breath or light it up with faerie fire, Glenn volunteers to be lowered down on the rope, where the cube cannot reach him, and simply mocks it until it dissolves into a puddle of goo. The DM narrates this as a movie montage with the music rising above whatever is coming out of the ghoul's mouth.

The party ties the rope off to the heavy desk in the study and slides down into a large room lined with huge, featureless obsidian statues. The cat leads the way up a short flight of steps on a dais and through a pyramid-shaped doorway, and the party sneaks into a smaller room with a small black pyramid, flat on top, in the center of it, and an armored stone figure with a shield and spear standing against the right-hand wall. The cat's magic vision shows that the pyramid is not magical but that the statue glows with a faint blue light. On the pyramid there is a window of names, beginning with Warder Ebengard and then Cedric Ebengard, and every name down the list is an Ebengard. On top is a smaller pillar with one face polished to a mirror sheen. A second Yog-Sothothery check convinces them that this is the Ossuary and shrine of the protectors of the ways, and that the pyramid, with its pillar, is a model of the flat-topped hill outside town. The party realizes that the hill may be a black pyramid buried underneath the trees.

==Funny Moments==

* Tim finds a hat that gives him darkvision, and when he asks whether the DM just made that up because he wanted a hat, the DM admits that it was going to be a pair of goggles until the hat showed up. Tim says that he kind of likes the goggles, but he already has a hooded cloak.
* The table fights over who gets the fifty gold coins and who gets the jeweled comb, and one player claims to have stolen it.
* When the party asks about a basement, the DM points out that they came in on the ground floor and then went upstairs, and that this is "the opposite of a basement."
* Looking at the display cases, the DM describes a sword, a helmet and a mirror, and a player says that they would take a "night vision helmet" and a "night vision sword." Tim announces "I take the power gloves" and says "they're so bad."
* Drandy rolls to search the desk and gets a pouch of keys and a ring, calling out "Wait a minute, brother. I got a bunch of keys." A player who searches the rug gets only "you find floor."
* Glenn inspects the mirror and reports that it is "imbued with magic," that "it's glowing," and, when pressed, that "it's a mirror." The table asks whether the ghoul will sing the song from Mulan, and the DM says that the mirror shows who he is inside.
* When Drandy's hand goes through the mirror, the table realizes "it's a portal" and shouts "he's Neo," and a player wonders whether it will start engulfing his whole heart.
* Tim, who wanted someone to put a head through the mirror first, says in the key room that the place feels like "I've been here before." The table points out that going through a mirror is what feels familiar.
* The cat insists on turning the keys with his mouth, and the DM describes each key in turn, the owl for the wise one, a man with outstretched hands for the sentinel, a crown for the true king and two hearts pointing at each other for the rivals.
* The DM tells the audience that fitting the keys "took a lot longer than it's going to sound after we edit this," from a pile of about thirty keys. When he admits he was surprised that the table solved the rivals lock, a player asks to redo it to see what happens when you pick the wrong key, and another says "my face melts" and "I would have eaten him."
* Lowering the cat on a rope prompts a request for an animal handling check, and the DM says that this is "literally" what that skill is. When the cat's broad-spectrum vision comes up, the DM tells the table to "pick up Sandy Petersen's Cthulhu Mythos if you want an OP cat."
* The DM explains that the cube was a request from one of the players, who answered a question about whether there would be a gelatinous cube with "there is now." The table decides that it is "a good thing we didn't jump down there."
* The party wonders how to kill a cube that dissolves whatever touches it. Tim suggests dipping an arrow in lantern oil, Drandy has acid breath, and Glenn points out that faerie fire does no damage but would only light it up.
* Glenn is lowered on the rope, twirling like a baby held by the armpits, and tries to play his lute. A player describes him as a "freaking bard ghoul" playing "some real bangers," and then Glenn announces "I'll just keep mocking it until it dies."
* The DM describes the mocking as a movie montage in which the music swells over the foulest things anyone has ever said, until the cube dissolves into a puddle. The table likens it to the Ghostbusters 2 scene where the team yells at the river of slime, and the DM says "that's exactly what just happened," followed by "welcome to Dungeons and Dragons."
* The pyramid prompts a player to ask if it says "Bass Pro Shop" on it, and the DM says it does, and "there's a white hat sitting there waiting for you."
* After a long, serious reveal about the ways and the black pyramid, a player asks about "the curds" and the DM answers that they were tied to Little Miss Muffet, and the DM "awards you no points."
* The DM stumbles over "perceive" and says "percept," then asks himself "what's wrong with me?"

==Notable Quotes==
* "I'm a man of opportunity and there's no one here." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "Wait a minute, brother. I got a bunch of keys." —[[Drandy Savage]]
* "It's glowing." "It's a mirror." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "I can put it in with my mouth." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "I feel like this place feels very familiar, like I've been here before." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "Pull me back up, please. I'm ready to come back up and report what I see." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "I jump at will." —[[Drandy Savage]]
* "I'll just keep mocking it until it dies." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons." —Alex Morrison
* "It's the opposite of a basement." —Alex Morrison
* "It says Bass Pro Shop on it, and there's a white hat sitting there waiting for you." —Alex Morrison

3.503: Polterheist

2026-10-27T17:05:26Z

William Jodeit: Drandy is the first to touch the black stone

==Synopsis==

[[3.503: Polterheist]] picks up where [[3.502: Monster Squad]] left off, with the party in the middle of a fight in the rain-soaked alleys of Evanstone. The DM, [[Alex Morrison]], has them roll initiative, and [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]] goes first, lunging at the strange, shimmering purple thing in front of him with his rapier. The blade swishes straight through it without a sound. Up on the rooftops, [[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]] can see the creatures through his broad-spectrum vision as silvery, glowing fluid drifting through the air. Perhaps because he is a creature of the hill, he gets the dreadful impression that weapons will do nothing against them, a feeling that spreads to [[Drandy Savage]] and the rest of the party once Tim calls out that his sword did nothing. Along the way, Alex also stops to explain how disengaging, attacks of opportunity, bonus actions and climbing speeds work.

Tim slams the back door of the shack on the creature, with [[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]'s face still in the way, and flees for the front door. Glenn unlocks it and peers out onto an empty street with a few lit windows. Meanwhile, back on the roof, Drandy deflects a tendril with his shield, and the holy symbol on it glows with white light. [[Mathon]] asks about lighting a torch in the rain, but it would take his whole action to dig one out of his pack, so he leaves Drandy to the dead light and follows the cat across the rooftops. Drandy dashes after them and finds that fleeing from the creature is also not free, because of attacks of opportunity. With the cat spotting from above, rolling a natural 20 on Perception to keep the party one step ahead of the dead lights, the group makes a run for the mayor's manor. Mathon slips on the wet edge of a roof and falls to the street, and without a spotter, the rest of the run is a blind sprint with cold brushes on their arms.

A twenty-foot wall surrounds the manor, with a pair of locked, wrought-iron gates. Tim picks the padlock on the gate with the help of Glenn's bardic inspiration, and the lock drops away almost at once. Mathon slams the gates shut behind them, and the party crosses the overgrown lawn toward the largest building they have seen in this town, dark and without a single light on. The black windows remind them of the stone on the hill. The front doors are locked, and Tim, feeling confident, rolls two 1s in a row and snaps his picks, even after using his Lucky reroll. Mathon throws himself at the solid oak doors, to no effect, and so Drandy smashes a window with his sword and boosts everyone in. They land on an expensive rug in a sitting room with a piano forte, and light a lantern and torch. Above the fireplace is a portrait of a blond man with a mustache and a plaque reading Warder Ebengard. A search turns up no vault or hidden doors, though Tim throws a ball bearing at the painting, which merely bounces off it.

The group finds a staircase and heads upstairs, over Tim's objection about splitting the party, and the cat leads them to a pair of double doors that open into a grand bedroom. A search of the bed, nightstand and dresser turns up nothing but a jeweled comb and a couple of perfumes, along with two fist-sized black stones as polished as the one on the hill. When [[Drandy Savage]] touches one first, it comes apart into spiky shards and unfolds into a small, stony creature, and a second stone does the same, hurting Mathon. The room erupts in a fight. Glenn runs one through with his rapier, the cat claws and bites, and a creature hits Mathon for seven, leaving him with only two hit points until his second wind kicks in. Tim shoots his short bow with sneak attack, Drandy takes a chunk out of one with his longsword, and Glenn gives it a dose of vicious mockery. Mathon finally splits the first one in half long ways, and it bursts into a tarry mess, and Tim's arrow pierces the other one right in its black heart, causing it to explode as well. Drandy and the cat both dive out of the way as the episode ends.

==Funny Moments==

* The table struggles with the initiative rules. One player tries to reroll an unlucky result and is told "you can't reroll, you cheetah."
* Over and over, the DM cannot get Mathon's name right, and the table jumps in with "it's Gaelic for bear," "Bear Bear," "Mathon Ursus," "Micron" and "that's Latin for bear." The DM says he does not know why it is so hard.
* Tim, whose first move is to "assassinate this mouse out of the way," watches his rapier pass through the creature without effect, and the table decides that rogues are either far too overpowered or very sweet.
* When Tim slams the door on the creature, Glenn's face is still in the doorway, and a player jokes that he slammed his own face. The DM lets the door slam anyway, because combat has to be played on a grid.
* Mathon starts the climb across the rooftops in the rain and the DM is shocked at how athletic a giant bugbear can be. After his fall, the DM describes him as a finely honed athlete of great prowess, and a player cuts in with "bear necessity" and steals one of the DM's own jokes, to the DM's dismay.
* Mathon tries to light his torch at the gate, and the DM tells him that Tim picked the padlock so quickly that he did not even get it out of the pack.
* "Now that I'm super confident, I'm about to roll the worst of the night," announces Tim, who then rolls a 1, uses Lucky, and rolls another 1. The DM tells him that he broke something in his life.
* After Mathon's "Hulk smash" fails against the solid oak doors, the cat suggests that somebody break a window and throw him inside. Someone offers to smash the window with the cat, but "the cat dodges."
* A portrait of a long-haired, blond man in a suit of armor with a mustache gets the verdict "Vigo from Ghostbusters 2," and a player says that he would draw a mustache on him, even though the portrait already has one. Someone also notes that the town is called Evanstone and that his name is Ebengard.
* Glenn can't help himself when he sees the piano forte, and the table asks him to sing them a song as the "piano ghoul."
* Tim throws a ball bearing at the painting, and another table member says "throw a cat in," while the DM reports that it bounces off.
* Tim does not want to go upstairs, and objects "for the record" that the group should not split up. Another player replies that when they all die later they will say they should have listened to "Tiny Tim."
* Upstairs, the table spots the shrubbery, and an argument breaks out over whether the shrubber is named Robert or Roger, which grows into a thousand-dollar bet.
* The double doors of the master bedroom are heard as "Dumbledores" for the rest of the episode, and the cat asks someone to open the door because he does not have hands.
* The jeweled comb is claimed by a player who says that he will carry it to Mordor.
* Glenn greets the stone creature with "Hey, you" before stabbing it, and when it does not react to being yelled at, he concludes that it cannot hear, and that it is not "a river of slime beneath New York City."
* Glenn's vicious mockery is "your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries," and another voice follows it up with "I fart in your general direction."
* Drandy proclaims, "take my longsword and slice it long ways," a line that Mathon matches by splitting his target in half long ways.

==Notable Quotes==
* "I'll use my rapier to assassinate this mouse out of the way, man." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "Nat 20, baby." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "Dead lights everywhere. There's more coming, boys. Keep up." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "Make way, gents. Let me try to pick this lock." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "Team, you can do it. We believe in you." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "Now that I'm super confident, I'm about to roll the worst of the night." —[[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Tim]]
* "Someone break a window and throw me inside." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "I don't have hands." —[[Major Bakerscat|Major Baker's Cat]]
* "Not die." —[[Mathon]]
* "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries." —[[Glen Ghoulia|Glenn Ghoulia]]
* "Take my longsword and slice it long ways." —[[Drandy Savage]]

Goodman Gray

2026-10-27T16:08:33Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 mention

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[308: Infestation]]

A deliberately forgettable man in a gray suit who speaks with an English accent. He leads a rival group operating around New Jerusalem, with men of his own at the old Motley Hill Sanatorium and more back in town. His black Packard appears to be the same car the investigators saw at the cemetery in [[305: The Shining... Skin]].

In [[308: Infestation]] the investigators find his Packard and a box truck parked outside the sanatorium. Gray steps out to calm a standoff between [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] and one of his men, and already knows the investigators by name. He denies being an associate of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]] but calls himself an "interested party" in Corbitt's research. His people believe the creature has dug tunnels beneath the sanatorium and is raising a brood there. After [[Dom Druncard|Dom]] proposes sharing information, Gray agrees to work together to cull the creatures and renegotiate afterward. He dodges questions about his organization and claims to know the mayor only in passing, though [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] suspects he knows the mayor better than he admits. The investigators suspect he wants to capture at least one creature alive. When screams erupt from the basement, Gray hesitates for the first time, then flees in the Packard while his remaining henchman takes the box truck.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he arrives in the New Jerusalem town square with Constable Zeke Dawkins just as the mayor is about to reveal who he works for. A single word from Gray, "stop," freezes the mayor in place. Gray says that most of his associates died at the Motley Hill Sanatorium and proposes a temporary partnership against the coming horde, mentioning that he has a flamethrower.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he cuts off the mayor's confession and denies any knowledge of the lab. He claims that the men in suits found there were agents he had sent weeks earlier who never reported back, and that the sanatorium was his first encounter with the creatures. He and his four remaining men then join the defense of Denny's, where his men hand over their flamethrower.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] Dr. Simeon overhears him at Denny's offering Constable Zeke Dawkins a place in his organization. He says that the mayor has outlived his usefulness now that the creature has been acquired, and asks Dawkins to deal with that loose end before the night is over.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he waits unarmed and unusually calm as the defenders of Denny's brace for the attack.

In [[314: The Siege]] he kills a creature at a window of Denny's Tavern with a muttered spell, then leads his men up the stairs as the defenses collapse.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he recognizes the alpha, drops a creature attacking Tallahassee Turner with a whispered spell and watches in disbelief as Dom Druncard takes control of the alpha.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he escapes the collapsing tavern alongside the investigators with the last two of his men.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] the Keeper says that he and his group seem to have vanished during the final stand against the creatures at New Jerusalem.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] the Major finds an octopus dog tag on Devin Black, a man posing as Raymond Goddard, and says "You work for Goodman Gray." Devin goes dead white and asks how the Major knows Gray.

In [[406: Pain]] the Major says that Devin Black works for Goodman Gray, and Dom says that killing Devin would not hurt Gray. At Pizza Dragons Dom tells the others that Devin went pale when they mentioned the name, and the Major shows them the octopus dog tag, which the group recognizes from Goodman Gray's crew in New Jerusalem. The Major says that the mayor and Goodman Gray are definitely involved.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] a player asks the barista Sheamus O'Malley whether he has ever heard the name Goodman Gray. Sheamus says he has not and that the clean-cut, secretive people who come looking for muscle never give names, though he reacts with alarm to the dog tag symbol, tells the group not to flash it around and calls the people bad news.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] Billy says that when they mentioned Goodman Gray's name to Devin Black, "his eyes got real wide."

==Appearances==
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]

==Mentioned==
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Randolph Tomaszewski

2026-10-27T16:08:27Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 mention

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A fired orderly of Central Hospital in Arkham and the villain's hands-on helper in [[Mister Corbitt]]. He turns out to be the "Miskatonic Mangler", a serial killer who dismembers his victims. He is also the man who kidnapped [[Dom Druncard]], and he is the supplier of the body parts behind [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]]'s grisly experiments.

==Background==
Randolph worked at Central Hospital, where his job included disposing of amputated limbs and other surgical remains in the incinerator. He was later fired after being publicly linked to the disappearance of nearly a dozen neighborhood dogs and cats. Though never convicted, he was questioned by police and the hospital's superintendent remembers him as increasingly withdrawn, tense and paranoid. The investigators trace him through the license plate of the car Dom escaped from, in [[104: Attic Window]] and [[105: Radical Medicine]].

==Capture==
In [[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]], [[Dom Druncard]], [[Billy McConnell]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] find him in his shabby apartment on Crenshaw. Dom recognizes him at the door and Randolph flees down the fire escape, only to be ambushed by the Major from behind a dumpster and tangled in his net. Dom gets some personal revenge, and under questioning Randolph admits that Corbitt ordered Dom's kidnapping and that he is the Miskatonic Mangler. He says he kept supplying Corbitt with body parts for drugs, fell into Satanic devotion, and that Corbitt is building a gate for "the Master". His apartment held an occult altar, a copy of ''True Magic'', ceremonial gear and a vial of neon-purple liquid, along with blood-stained jewelry that looks like trophies from his victims.

==Aftermath==
Billy hands him over to the police. In [[107: Fates and Retribution]] he is reported to be incoherent in custody and ranting about the Master. In [[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]] Billy uses his name to trip up Corbitt, who pronounces it a little too correctly for a man who has never heard of him. By the epilogue, the "gate" Randolph spoke of has been closed. Around three months later, in [[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]], the radio reports that he is still confessing and that police are piecing together the whole story from his rants.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] the stamped paper that [[Billy McConnell]] and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] find on a stack of employee forms in Dr. Doyle's office has his name on it, as the Keeper reads it out, and Billy describes it as the termination paperwork. The players also read out the name Anna Fairbanks from the bottom of the form, and the Keeper does not say how she relates to him.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] the Gazette reporter Ricky Dubois tells Dom that Anna Fairbanks is a married name and that her maiden name is Tomaszewski, and Dom answers that her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler. Ricky says that Anna told him her brother had connections that went all the way to the top and that she planned to bring photos and papers showing that they were related, but she never showed up to the meeting.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] Dom names him as the only person with a motive for the killings, saying that Dr. Doyle fired him and that Elizabeth Bakersfield was the wife of the man who netted him. Billy points out that he is in the asylum as far as he knows, the Major says he was Corbett's puppet, and the group speculates that he may somehow be pulling people into Soyland. Simeon suggests visiting him in Arkham.

==Appearances==
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]

==Mentioned==
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Captain Runch

2026-10-27T16:08:22Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[The Lightless Beacon]]

DUCKS!!!!! Captain Runch is responsible for most of the obsession with Ducks by both the players and fans

Notable lines:

* [[The Lightless Beacon]] @ 25:00 "Have I ever told you about the USS Tallahassee? It went down off the coast of Innsmouth. 1100 men went in the water. 316 men came out. Ducks took the rest. They're all gathered up in the water in squares, y'know, like one of those old battle formations in Waterloo. When a duck's coming close we're just pounding and hollering, and sometimes the ducks go away, sometimes they don't go away. They just swim up, they look at you in the eyes with those dead, duck eyes. They got black eyes, y'know, like a doll's eyes, 'till they roll back and that beak comes in for your face. 1100 men went in the water. 316 men came out. Ducks took the rest."

Cameos in The Radio Man and Children of the Abyss

Runch is a saltly old sea captain, with a beard, who wears a Pea Coat and Sea Captains Cap and carries a fouling piece.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he is the boatman who answers the Major's shouts for help from the pier behind the house on East Water Street. He is an older man in a little one-prop boat with a fishing rod, with a graying beard, a newsboy cap and a blue pea coat that looks like it has seen the sea. He swaddles the wounded Dom in a blanket, takes the group west along the river as police lights arrive, and greets Tallahassee by name before introducing himself as Captain Carl Runch. The Keeper says that this is how Tallahassee and Captain Runch first met.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he has come along with the group across town to Dr. Simeon's house, and the Keeper says he "seems to have decided to tag along." When he asks whether he should stay with Dom, he is called a bum and answers "I'm a dang sea captain." He carries the wounded Dom up the stairs like a baby when Dom asks, tells him "oh you're light as a feather," and rocks him, telling him to "go to sleep." Later, while the others are busy with Simeon, he takes Dom out of the room, dragging him by the feet. The Keeper says the exciting circumstances of their introduction seem to have intrigued him.

Mary BethBethBeth

2026-10-27T16:08:16Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

The long-suffering wife of [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz]], and a resident of the same street as the investigators. She spends most of the campaign in the background, but when her husband is found bleeding on the kitchen floor after drinking a mysterious purple potion, she demands answers, and she is surprisingly enthusiastic once the full story is explained. She later offers to help the investigators, and volunteers to keep the nosy barber next door distracted while they break into [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]]'s house. At the end of [[Mister Corbitt]], Simeon takes her home with a new appreciation for her.

Not to be confused with [[Mary the Hoebag]].

In [[401: Static Prevails]] she appears in Dr. Simeon's nightmare, confused as she watches a spider creature close in on him, and is then asleep beside him in bed when the phone rings.

Notable quotes:

* "I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on and why it's happening."

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] she is found asleep in bed, right where Simeon left her that morning, though it is only about seven in the evening. Her breathing is shallow and her face looks sunken. She does not wake for her husband's usual morning greeting, for smelling salts or for his Command of the Wizard, although her eyelids and hair flutter before she sinks back into a deep sleep. The Keeper tells Simeon that his dream was real and that she has been taken to Soyland like the others and has been trapped there all day.

==Appearances==
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

==Mentioned==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]

Billy McConnell

2026-10-27T16:08:10Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Abe Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A very young police officer, with extreme willpower. He starts as a rookie beat cop and ends the first season as the youngest detective on the force.

Billy is the investigators' man inside the Arkham police, and he is the one who finally arrests [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]].

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===103: Usual Suspects===
Billy joins the story as a new character (and new player). He is one of the officers helping secure the scene at Corbitt's house.

===104: Attic Window===
The next morning he approaches the investigators and admits that, although his partner Detective Kovach accepted Corbitt's explanations, Corbitt seemed nervous when he was questioned. He joins them at [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house, watches Corbitt's house from a window with [[Dom Druncard|Dom]], and takes Dom to the police station, where the license plate is traced to Randolph Tomaszewski.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Billy and Dom visit Central Hospital and question Miss Witherspoon and the superintendent, Dr. Doyle, about Tomaszewski.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
He goes with Dom and [[Major Bakersfield]] to Tomaszewski's apartment on Crenshaw and begins questioning him once he is captured. Afterward he turns Tomaszewski over to the police.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Billy brings news from the police investigation: the captured Miskatonic Mangler is incoherent in custody, ranting about "the Master", and had a switchblade, a purple vial like Simeon's and a severed finger with a ring engraved "T & L Forever". His captain promises him a promotion for the arrest. The police cannot get a warrant to search Corbitt's house, so Billy tells the group they must handle it themselves, and he says he can "look the other way" about going into the house but not about blowing up Corbitt's business. The plan is for him to drive to Corbitt's business at the docks and ask questions as a police officer to lure Corbitt away from home.

===108: Head of the Beast===
While the others search the house, Billy goes to the Corbitt Imports warehouse. He learns little except from the manager that Corbitt has missed work recently, and he tries to pry open a locked filing cabinet with his knife until the manager comes back.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Billy confronts Corbitt at his workplace with Tomaszewski's name and the vial, catches him when he pronounces the name too correctly, and chases him through the warehouse, smashing through doors, firing a warning shot and diving into Corbitt's moving car to drag him out. He punches him, handcuffs and gags him, and brings him back to the house with Simeon. In the basement he faints at the sight of the creature. Afterwards he is taken with the police captain to see the basement and is told to keep what he saw secret. In the epilogue he gets a commendation and a promotion to detective, the youngest on the force.

==Notable quotes==

* "You shot him in the FACE?! Is he dead??? You do remember I'm a cop, right? You shot him in the face?"

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he sees the dead light for the first time, pushing around the door of Dr. Webb's bedroom, and escapes through the window with Tallahassee. He runs for the front of the house and pulls [[Dom Druncard]] out of the basement window as the light grabs Dom's ankle.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he casts an incantation for the first time, pushing the roll and spending eight Luck to get it off, but the dead light cannot comprehend his command to be still. He still gains POW from pressing against its will. He drives the group back to the cafe and later finds Winifred Brewer unconscious outside the powder room and carries her inside. He then needles Jake about the crumbs in his beard.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he hears Mary and Amelia in the gas station office and tries to pin Mary's gun to the floor, prying it from her hand after Dom tackles her. He hesitates over feeding her to the light until Tallahassee flicks blood in his face. He scrambles into the office, drags Amelia away from the dead light as it melts through the back wall, and slams the door behind them.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he admits that he is struggling with what the group has done as a sworn officer, but says the supernatural stakes mean they must see it through. Driving to New Salem, he spots a wrecked campsite off the road, finds a camera satchel holding a Kodak Brownie No. 2, and looks up to find blood and claw marks high in the trees where the attacker leapt away with its victim.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he introduces himself to Mayor Jedediah Marsh as a detective from Arkham and asks about the truck at the abandoned campsite. At Denny's Tavern he mentions Grant Jameson, questions Ezra Denny about Mordecai Shep, Bernard Corbitt and local legends, and presses retired constable Robert Morgan about Dr. Warthrop and Will Henry. He books rooms for the group and insists that they stick together before visiting Mordecai's shack.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he asks Ezra Denny about Ike Watson and the town's dangers and learns to beware of Constable Zeke Dawkins and the Mayor. At Mordecai Shep's shack he finds a loose board under the wood-burning stove, checks the hidden box for traps with a roll of 99, and lifts out a cache of cash, a revolver and letters from "BC." Reading the letters, he concludes that Corbitt's laboratory lies beneath a mausoleum in the cemetery.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he questions Percival Warthrop about his family's place on the hill. When he opens the truck's door the next morning, a freshly hanged cat swings out at his face. On the drive to the cemetery, he confesses that he wishes he had listened to his captain, that the killing of the girl still haunts him, and that he will need some sessions with Simeon once this is over.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he checks the area one last time before entering J.G. Faust's tomb and props its self-closing door open with a rock. He discovers a severed, desiccated hand still gripping the handle inside. He is the only investigator to keep his composure at the sight of the burned laboratory below, and while searching its cage he finds the key still in the door.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he stays in the truck at the Russell farm with Dr. Simeon and Percival Warthrop to work through the papers recovered from the laboratory.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he searches the Russell farm with successful Spot Hidden and Listen rolls. He finds livestock remains that look about two weeks old and hears what might be a distant car. Going back to the burned notes, he pieces together fourteen years of research by Corbitt and Mordecai Shep. The notes describe how the creature reproduces, explain the binding runes and reveal that the two men exercised it at an abandoned sanatorium. He then drives the group there.

In [[308: Infestation]] he drives the group to the Motley Hill Sanatorium and blocks the drive, though he refuses to slash the other vehicles' tires because he is still an officer of the law. His Psychology read on Goodman Gray suggests that Gray is evasive but sincere about cooperating, and may know the mayor better than he lets on. When the screaming starts, he readies the truck and gets it rolling as the others dive into the back.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he drives the group away from Motley Hill and back to New Jerusalem. He warns the mayor and Constable Zeke Dawkins that the creatures are nesting at the sanatorium and have wiped out the outlying farms, and rallies the townsfolk to gather weapons. He then presses the mayor about his dealings with Goodman Gray.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he and Ezra Denny ferry the town's women and children to the cemetery tomb. When he realizes Delilah and her son are missing, he searches her ransacked house and finds the newspaperman Jacob Alister shot in the street. Jacob says that Ike Watson took Delilah and the boy, then dies. Billy arms Ezra and drives east after Ike.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he and Ezra Denny reach a shack on the east side of town and ready their guns as screams rise from the west.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he and Ezra Denny storm Ike Watson's shack and find Delilah Bevins and her son bound inside. Ike resists both of his command spells ("Drop it" and "Freeze"), but Billy fights off Levi, then captures and hog-ties Ike and heads back to Denny's.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he races the truck back to Denny's and rams the wounded adult creature that Dom Druncard brought down, crushing it against the building, before hurrying Delilah Bevins, Zachary and the captive Ike Watson inside.

In [[314: The Siege]] he drags the captive Ike Watson toward the stairs of the burning tavern as a sacrifice for the dead light and wounds one of the creatures crawling in through the north windows.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he is overcome by panic at the sight of the alpha, drops Ike Watson and flees upstairs until Dr. Simeon's Command spell restores his senses.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he swears himself to Dr. Simeon, draws the ritual symbol on Ike Watson and performs the chant that feeds Ike to the dead light after it destroys the alpha.

In [[401: Static Prevails]], now a detective, he calls the group to the Riverview Apartments at about 3 a.m. to see a dead man in a locked apartment full of radios. He reads the pawn receipt made out to "John Johnson" and later learns from Officer Michael Speekman that the man was seen alive at about nine the night before, though his body looks days dead. He asks for a rush from the mortician.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he refuses to take part in the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns so he will not be an accomplice, and waits at the diner, Pizza Dragons, drinking coffee. He tells the others what he learned from the neighbor and the building: John Johnson was seen going into his apartment at about nine the night before, yet his body looks days dead, which Billy says is creeping into the supernatural. He plans to interview the pawn shop's owner and then the medical examiner.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he goes into the Pawn and Prawns alone and questions its owner, Hiram Hopkins, as a detective. A Psychology roll shows that Hiram is lying about the watch, and a Persuade roll fails after Billy hints that the patrolman might get lost on the way. He takes the unconscious Tallahassee to the medical examiner, Dr. Jared Sylvester, and learns that John Johnson died of exposure with four stab wounds that match the Major's wife's. He shrugs off a cold chill with a successful POW roll, then casts Command himself with extra force to try to wake Tallahassee.

In [[404: Episode IV]] his Command makes the unconscious Tallahassee's eyes flutter, but Tallahassee sinks back, so Billy smacks him a few times and urges him to wake up. Once Tallahassee is awake, Billy asks where he went and whether spiders attacked him there. He then reads aloud from John Johnson's autopsy report, which describes multiple stab wounds on the torso from something like an ice pick or a stake and a body exposed to severe weather for days, and says that Johnson may have been in the same place. He suggests that the group find out who the dead man is and then meet up with Dom and the Major.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he takes the fingerprint card into the Arkham police station, where Captain Renz takes the Radio Man case away from him and gives it to Detective Crane, says that chaos follows the group around and that he does not want them around any more. Billy argues that they are consultants and helped him catch the Miskatonic Mangler, offers up the Reynolds case and grows suspicious about how fast he is being pulled off, having been kept off the investigation into the Major's wife's murder and looked into it on his own time. He tells Simeon and Tallahassee what happened, loudly says that they are not friends any more so that the captain sees, and then lets them in through a side entrance to search the records room with him while the clerk, Sarah Beatrice, looks the other way.

In [[406: Pain]] he finds the fingerprint match with Simeon and Tallahassee in the police records room, refuses to take the card, and writes down the information instead, saying that he has to pass some of it to Detective Crane. He flips off Captain Renz's closed door before leaving, and the captain calls him a loose cannon. At Pizza Dragons he tells the others that the captain gave him flak over their shenanigans and pulled him off the Radio Man case for no reason, and that they need to be more covert, and notes that the chief is appointed by the mayor and could lean on the captain. At the hospital he greets Nurse Witherspoon as "nurse with a spoon," makes a tactless joke about jumping off a building after she does not remember him, and then apologizes. He asks about Dr. Doyle's decline and who he was spending time with, asks whether the mayor was one of his patients, and, when told he needs a warrant to see Dr. Doyle's office, says "I am the law."

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he and Dr. Simeon search Dr. Doyle's office at Arkham Hospital. He recalls that he and Dom interviewed Dr. Doyle there during the [[Mister Corbitt]] case, when the office was tidy, and says that the disarray and a book on hauntings are out of character for the doctor. When the radio in his pocket switches on, he pulls it out and a voice in the static says his name twice. He backs against the wall, terrified, makes a POW check (26 against 91), and, as a cold feeling takes hold of his head and the voice asks if he remembers it, he forces it out and says "Get out of my head." He tells Simeon that something tried to get into his head, says that it seems to show up whenever the radios switch on, and asks Nurse Witherspoon about Dr. Doyle's state, his radio, the book on hauntings and any talk of ghosts. He takes the termination paperwork with her permission, and suggests heading back to meet the others at Dr. Simeon's house.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he and Dr. Simeon are walking through the hospital's reception area when he spots Detective Crane, whom he recognizes from the police station, with the elder Mr. Goddard. With Simeon helping, he searches the nurses' counter and finds Raymond Goddard's room number, which he writes on his hand, then ducks behind the stairs to watch the door. When the radio in his pocket flares up with a voice that sounds like it says Raymond, he runs to Raymond's room and tells Crane that the radio started squawking out of the blue and that he followed it down the hallway because it was saying a name. A Psychology roll shows him that Simeon is looking at something, and he swats at the air near Raymond's head and feels nothing. As Raymond is stabbed by invisible wounds, he grabs him by the shoulders and casts Command, saying "return," and his roll succeeds, but it has no effect. After he and Simeon slip out in the commotion, both fail their sanity rolls and sit in the reception chairs in shock after a long night without sleep.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he is found sitting on the edge of a chair in Simeon's study with a thousand-yard stare, and comes to his senses when the others shove him out of his seat. He and Simeon recall the last thing they saw at the hospital: Raymond Goddard stabbed to death by an invisible attacker, followed by hazy memories of the rain and the drive home. He tells the others that the radio asked "Remember me, Billy?" and praises Dom's detective work. He says that when they mentioned Goodman Gray's name to Devin Black "his eyes got real wide." He suggests that Simeon try Command of the Wizard on his wife, and when that fails he puts Simeon in a sleeper hold and then casts Command of the Wizard on him with the word "sleep," so that Simeon can reach Soyland through his dream.

==Appearances==
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Simeon Kantstandyerbitz

2026-10-27T16:08:03Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Donovan Bollard]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A psychologist who works at the [[Miskatonic University]] with Dr. [[Shrimp Puerto Rico]]. Rescued his brother [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]] from a parallel universe in [[Keeper of the Ways]]. Murdered [[Mitch Larsen]] in [[The Hollows]].

Psychology is a soft science. Everybody knows that.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is known as Dr. Simeon (also spelled Cantstandya in the episode synopses), a neighbor of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]] whose house is the investigators' usual meeting point. He lives with his wife, [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. Obsessed with the supernatural since seeing his younger brother vanish into a mirror, he is the investigators' scientist and its most reckless experimenter.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Simeon is at the gathering at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house, and he and Tallahassee see what looks like a human hand when Corbitt drops one of his packages.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
The night surveillance begins at his house. He vaults the fence with surprising athleticism, hides in Corbitt's greenhouse when the light comes on, and finds numerous exotic plants not native to the region.

===103: Usual Suspects===
He and [[Major Bakersfield]] go back into Corbitt's yard and into the house. They are caught on the staircase by a police officer and arrested with the others. The detectives also question Simeon at the station.

===104: Attic Window===
He hosts the group in his home. After the bone cannot be identified by repeated biology rolls and a long search of his library, he and Bakersfield take it to Dr. Puerto Rico at Miskatonic University.

===105: Radical Medicine===
He goes with Bakersfield to the army surplus store. When they find Tallahassee wandering naked under Corbitt's influence, he distracts him with a bizarre seductive dance while Bakersfield deploys the net. He is a shirtless man in suspenders in Tallahassee's hazy memories.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
When the others bring back the occult book ''True Magic'' and a vial of neon-purple liquid from Tomaszewski's apartment, Simeon drinks the remaining liquid himself. It sends him to an alien astral realm of blasted landscape, multiple moons, jagged crystal growths and rose-colored lightning, where merely being there costs him Sanity and permanently increases his Cthulhu Mythos knowledge. True to form, he studies it, and pees on the crystals to see what happens. A towering spider-like monster charges him, impales him through the shoulder, and he escapes only by spending luck and stabbing it in the face with a jagged crystal shard. The episode ends with the creature leaping down on him.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Back in the real world, invisible puncture wounds tear open his body and his shoulder dislocates. In the vision he stabs the creature in the eye and is pulled back into his body just before a fatal strike. He wakes on his kitchen floor with his wife entering the room to find him in a pool of blood. He is taken to the hospital with a separated shoulder and several stab wounds, and his arm is in a sling for about six weeks. The next morning he calls [[Shrimp Puerto Rico|Dr. Gutierrez]] about the bone and the vial. Asked why he drank it, he says it was for science, and he tells the group why he is driven: when his younger brother was thirteen, he saw a flash of grayish-purple light from the mirror his brother was looking in and the boy was sucked in, and has not been seen since. (His brother is [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz]].) He proposes making Corbitt drink the vial. His wife, once told the whole story, becomes enthusiastic about the cause, and the group settles on breaking in once Corbitt leaves the house.

===108: Head of the Beast===
Simeon does not appear in the episode proper; he is credited in the introduction only.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Simeon rides with Billy to bring the handcuffed Corbitt back to the house. In the basement, he is hit with a bout of temporary madness at the sight of the creature, and flees into the lab to smash the lights and cower in the dark, saying that "there is only safety in the dark". He recovers once the creature is dead. In the epilogue he returns to his wife with new affection and respect, and a badly shaken mind, needing time to recover from learning how much stranger reality is than he had imagined.

==Notable quotes==

* "I'm not a psychologist tonight."
* "No psychologists were injured in the recording of this episode."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he runs past the dead light in the cottage hallway, spending Luck on a Dodge against two tendrils that scorch the wall behind him. He then goes to the truck for dynamite and Dom's liquor to make a Molotov cocktail.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he lights a Molotov cocktail in the back of the truck and takes two tendril hits from the dead light, which leaves him at two hit points until a lightning strike drives the light into the woods. At the cafe he demands to talk to Mary and later reads Jake with a psychology roll, finding that he is simply terrified.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he stays behind in a booth at the cafe, tending to his wounds at two hit points, while the others go to the gas station.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he first suggests that the group take time to recover, but after the Major's story he rallies Tallahassee, asking whether he wants to live his adventures or just write about them, and vows to go forward whatever it takes. The Keeper notes that he may be able to treat Tallahassee's indefinite insanity with psychoanalysis.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he repeatedly climbs out of the truck to use his Psychology on Mayor Jedediah Marsh and senses that the Mayor is hiding something, which leads the others to suggest that he be renamed "can't stay in the car." He stays at the Shofar newspaper office with Tallahassee to search the archives for missing persons reports.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he searches the Shofar's archives and finds a June 27th, 1925 article about a "phantom fire" near the cemetery. His attempt to psychoanalyze the panicking Tallahassee fails with a roll of 92, and after seeing the photographs he loses 4 Sanity. He opens the door of Mordecai Shep's shack, reads aloud two of Corbitt's letters, concludes that Corbitt and Mordecai built a laboratory and practiced necromancy, and finally succeeds at a Spot Hidden in the tavern.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] his Psychology roll reveals that Percival Warthrop is lying when he claims to know nothing about monstrumology, and he later asks Percival whether he is thirsty for violence. At breakfast he chats up the widow Delilah Bevins, who tells him about her missing friend Hannah Russell, and he trades insults with her son Zachary, who calls psychology a soft science. When a hanged cat is found in the truck, he admits that he dreamed of a dead cat in the truck that spoke the word "Carcosa." At the cemetery, he makes a hard success on a Spot Hidden and finds smoke streaks around the door of J.G. Faust's tomb.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he translates the Latin inscription on J.G. Faust's tomb and presses in the words "as above, so below" to help open it. In the laboratory below, a hard success on Psychoanalysis brings Tallahassee Turner out of his hallucination, but he cannot identify the squid-headed symbol on the dog tag found among the bodies.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he helps sift the burned papers from the laboratory on the drive to the Russell farm. He suggests staying in the truck with Billy McConnell and Percival Warthrop to keep researching, and he hands out the anatomy sketch, the symbol fragment and the parthenogenesis projection while the others search the farm.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he races Billy McConnell to the barn when the shots ring out. He studies the burned fragment and recognizes its symbols as binding runes, which Major Bakersfield confirms. He then helps Percival Warthrop with the autopsy.

In [[308: Infestation]] he studies Corbitt's notes on the drive. Outside the Motley Hill Sanatorium he calculates that the creatures have likely multiplied to about 43: four adults, around twenty adolescents and roughly nineteen infants. During the escape from the basement, he hurls a Molotov cocktail perfectly onto the lead creature, setting it ablaze and driving the others back.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he insists that the group warn New Jerusalem before nightfall. In the town square he dumps the infant creature's corpse on the cobblestones, shows off its teeth, and gives Ish Graves a tooth to use as proof. He then begins casting his summoning spell.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he persuades the town butcher to help him lay a trail of meat and blood through the square toward Denny's to draw the creatures in.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he overhears Goodman Gray arranging the mayor's death. With Percival Warthrop and Dom providing a distraction, he casts a command spell for the first time and forces the mayor to name who has been paying him.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he takes up a rifle position at one of the gun holes in Denny's.

In [[313: The Arrival]] his beef trail draws the creatures onto the first booby trap, and he mans a gun hole at Denny's while objecting that the flamethrower will burn the building down.

In [[314: The Siege]] he knocks an adult creature unconscious with Smiting Blast of the Foul One from the window of Denny's Tavern, helps Billy McConnell drag Ike Watson toward the stairs and casts Command on one of the creatures inside.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he fails to seize control of the alpha through Corbitt's runes, then casts Command on Billy McConnell and pushes the spell through Billy's will to break his panic.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he helps Billy McConnell carry Ike Watson out of the collapsing tavern, directs the controlled alpha toward the dead light and retrieves the silver coffer.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he wakes from a nightmare of crystal pillars and a giant spider creature to a call from Billy McConnell at about 3 a.m. At the Riverview Apartments he follows a low static hiss to the freezer of a dead man's apartment, pulls out a small cordless radio that is still hissing, and finds a pawn receipt for "John Johnson" stuck to its back. The Keeper also says that his brother [[Timeon Kantstandyerbitz|Timeon]] is now home safe.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he throws a paving stone through the front glass door of the Pawn and Prawns after the group wastes time arguing over the barred back windows. At the diner he sees a dark figure over his left shoulder as he opens the stolen ledger, but it vanishes when he turns and no one else saw it. By spending Luck on a Library Use roll, he finds John Johnson's November 18, 1925 entry in the ledger, and he says that the lack of blood and the decomposition make the medical examiner's opinion worth hearing.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he casts Command on the unconscious Tallahassee at the diner and again at the medical examiner's, spending a magic point and a point of sanity, but nothing happens either time. He rides with Billy to Miskatonic and asks Dr. Jared Sylvester whether there were prawns in the dead man's stomach. He also argues that the empty caffeine bottle means the man was not sleeping, which he says is obviously supernatural. As the group carries Tallahassee out, he glimpses a dark figure at the edge of his vision that vanishes when he turns.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he copies Billy's calm focus and casts Command on the unconscious Tallahassee, winning the contested roll, and his voice reaches Tallahassee in the other world. Back in the car he says that he has met Runch before and asks about Dr. Doyle's records, learning that Doyle was the hospital's administrator and is dead. He counts three similar cases, John Johnson, Doyle and Mrs. Bakersfield, and warns that the group should be careful with anyone who knows about the ferryman, since there is clearly a connection to "the soy sauce."

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he goes with Billy and Tallahassee to the Arkham police station, and the Keeper has him roll Spot Hidden as a radio somewhere in the station fills with static. Billy sends him and Tallahassee to wait outside, and he is let in through a side entrance to help search the records room, where the three of them roll Library Use together with two bonus dice and land a hard success.

In [[406: Pain]] he searches the police records with Billy and Tallahassee until the three find a fingerprint match, and leaves by the side door. At Pizza Dragons the Keeper has him roll a d10 for something forgotten earlier, and he rolls Psychology while Dom and the Major describe their visit to Raymond Goddard's house; the Keeper tells him that everything Dom says is the honest truth. When the group splits up he chooses to go with Billy to the hospital, saying it is a safer bet for him. There he introduces himself to Nurse Witherspoon as Billy's psychologist, asks about her relationship with Dr. Doyle, smooths over Billy's remarks, and wins a hard Persuade to get her to let them search Dr. Doyle's office.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he searches Dr. Doyle's office at Arkham Hospital with Billy while Nurse Witherspoon is out of the room. He rolls a 01 on Spot Hidden, which the Keeper rules a success, and twice glimpses a shadowy figure at the edge of his sight while the radio in Billy's pocket plays static. He tells Billy that he heard the voice on the radio and saw the figure moving toward him, and wonders whether whatever it is can travel unseen or through some other dimension. He memorizes the addresses on a stamped paper from the stack of employee forms, then helps question Nurse Witherspoon about Dr. Doyle's book on hauntings.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he and Billy are walking through the hospital's reception area when he overhears Detective Crane tell the elder Mr. Goddard that he is back here. After a failed disguise roll, he walks into Raymond Goddard's room with a clipboard as the staff psychologist and gets past the nurse with a successful roll. He examines Raymond, who rants about a shadow and the radios, and tells him that, as a psychologist, he would say that Raymond does need a shrink. When the radio flares up he tells the elder Mr. Goddard that this is beyond his skill set, then sees the figure of a shadow next to Raymond's head and asks whether his Smiting Blast of the Foul One would work on a spirit. He tells Billy exactly where it is, right above Raymond's head, and watches as Raymond is stabbed by unseen wounds. After he and Billy slip out in the commotion, both fail their sanity rolls and sit down in the reception chairs in shock.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he is found at his desk in his study with a glass of water, staring into it, until the others arrive. He and Billy then recall that the last thing they remember is Raymond Goddard being stabbed by an invisible attacker at the hospital, followed by missing time. He tells the others that the stab wounds look just like his own and suggests visiting Randolph Tomaszewski in Arkham. When Dom shows him Harman Vance's ID photo, he recognizes the man from his dream that morning, runs upstairs and finds his wife Mary Beth asleep and unwakeable. He loses 1 sanity, tries his Command of the Wizard on her without success, and finally asks Billy to put him to sleep so that he can reach Soyland through his dream as he did that morning. He tells Billy "I wasn't gonna resist you anyways" and falls into a very deep sleep when Billy casts Command of the Wizard on him.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Dom Druncard

2026-10-27T16:07:56Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

Also known as Prospero.

Dominic John "Dom" Druncard is one of the neighbors who gathers at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house in [[Mister Corbitt]] and gets pulled into the investigation of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]]. He is the investigator who suffers the most at Corbitt's hands: he is chanted into helplessness, kidnapped, forced into an attic, and later attacked by the thing that lived there, before finally getting a measure of revenge. By the end of the story he has, for the first time in a long while, found people he can trust.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Dom is one of the neighbors enjoying "non-alcoholic water" and jazz at Tallahassee's house when [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]] arrives with his wrapped packages. His attempt at baking cookies for the visit produces charred sludge that the group insists on calling "crumpets". Inside Corbitt's house he snoops "under cover of bathroom breaks" and finds only a closet containing an extremely excellent hat, which fits so perfectly that he throws it out the guest room window for later retrieval. When [[Major Bakersfield]] repeats the idea with another hat and a pea coat, the pile of outerwear on Corbitt's lawn is what nosy neighbor Tom Barber reports to Corbitt.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
During the nighttime surveillance of Corbitt's yard Dom fumbles his climb and falls off the fence, injuring himself; the group then remembers it owns a ladder. When Corbitt's light comes on, Dom hides against the house, then finds the back door unlocked and slips inside. He overhears Corbitt on the telephone reporting prowlers, slips past him, and goes upstairs. In Corbitt's bedroom he finds the book ''Plants and Fungi of the Amazon Basin'' by Dr. P. D. Florence in the nightstand. He then pulls down the squeaky attic ladder and sees a woman's face staring down at him with long dark hair, lifeless eyes and a hanging mouth, which costs him Sanity. Corbitt appears behind him, chanting strange syllables, and Dom fails his POW roll (a running gag has him trying to substitute "handsome" for it). A scream from upstairs ends the episode.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Dom is missing for most of the episode while the others are questioned by Detective Frank Kovach and Detective Burke. He wakes with a pounding head in the trunk of a moving car, hands tied and pockets emptied, and uses a heavy metal bar to lever the trunk open. When the car stops he attacks the driver, a tall, wiry, mean-looking man with a switchblade, in what the table calls the wimpiest fight imaginable. He bull-rushes the man into the car, knocking the switchblade away, and runs. After a chase through the industrial streets he reaches a shop, gets a perfect look at the pursuing car's license plate with a Spot Hidden roll, writes it down, and calls the police.

===104: Attic Window===
Kovach brings Dom to [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house the next morning, and Dom recounts the escape and the license plate. He and [[Billy McConnell]] try to watch Corbitt's house from a window, and Dom crashes into the window while trying to stay stealthy. The plate leads them to [[Randolph Tomaszewski]], an orderly at Central Hospital who had been questioned over pet mutilations. When [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]'s developed photograph shows a woman's face in Corbitt's attic window, Dom's memories return: he had been in the house, seen the face, and been forced into the attic by Corbitt's chanting. He sat there for hours while his friends and then the police searched below without opening the attic door, and he remembers something else moving in the attic with him.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Dom explains that after seeing the face he heard Corbitt chanting and lost control of his body. He and Billy visit Central Hospital, where they speak to nurse Miss Witherspoon and the superintendent, Dr. Doyle, and learn that Tomaszewski was fired after being linked to the pet mutilation case and that he used to dispose of amputated limbs in the hospital incinerator. Doyle supplies Tomaszewski's address, 143 Crenshaw, Apartment 4B.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
Dom, Billy and Major Bakersfield track [[Randolph Tomaszewski]] to Crenshaw. Dom recognizes him the moment he opens the door as the man who abducted him, and when the Major nets him in the alley Dom delivers a "deeply personal revenge kick" to the ribs. Tomaszewski confesses that Corbitt ordered Dom's abduction and murder and that he is the Miskatonic Mangler. In his apartment Dom recognizes the book ''True Magic'' by C. Adolphus Renwen as a real and serious work on occult rituals rather than the usual fraud. He and the Major bring the book and the purple vial to Simeon's house.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Dom is one of the three investigators (with [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] and [[Major Bakersfield]]) watching over [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Simeon]] after he drinks the purple vial, and he witnesses the invisible wounds that tear open Simeon's body. He is present the next morning as the group debates how to get at Corbitt, and the plan settles on breaking into the house once Corbitt leaves.

===108: Head of the Beast===
During a thunderstorm Dom picks the lock and the group breaks into Corbitt's house. He returns to the attic despite his earlier trauma, pushes a Listen roll by closing his eyes to "listen real hard", and the woman's severed head drops onto his scalp. It has been turned into a spider-like creature with bony arm-legs. Dom tears it off his head, [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] rips it off his chest, and Dom destroys it with a point-blank .38 shot, adding his catchphrase "Dutch, no way to get ahead in life." Because he has killed the source of his terror, the Keeper lets him recover 3 Sanity. Dom then spends half an hour searching the attic and finds only puncture marks on the walls and ceiling, bags the head-beast, reads Corbitt's first 1911 journal aloud to the group, and is part of the party when Bakersfield finds the hidden basement panel. Dom solves the lock with his lockpicking skill, narrowly beating Tallahassee's plan to shoot it open, and the basement door clicks open.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Dom and the others take Corbitt into the basement, where they find the hidden laboratory and the monstrous child. When the creature seizes Major Bakersfield, Dom, with Simeon out of action and Billy unconscious, rushes forward and fires his revolver point-blank into its mouth. As he fires he hears the names "Fiona" and "Sam" ring in his head and cries out Sam's name with the final shot, which finally kills it. Afterward he goes back to Bakersfield's house to wash up and drink from the Major's nice glasses. In the epilogue he realizes that after years of wandering alone he has found people he may finally be able to be honest with, and who may help him in his search for the truth.

==Notable quotes==
* "It was like, you know, I had a fair amount of spirits."
* "All pockets from all dead people in the room are being searched by me."
* "Dutch, no way to get ahead in life."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he loses Sanity on seeing the dead light in the hallway, is trapped in the basement when it pours down the stairs, and is pulled out of a window by [[Billy McConnell]]. The light burns his ankle for four points of damage before he dodges a second tendril. He then runs for the truck, looking for a flamethrower the group does not have.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he dodges the dead light, fails, and runs around the far side of the truck, and later gets a hit point back from the Major's first aid. At the cafe he points out that the sack-headed man's wallet held a picture of Mary, and theorizes that the two were connected.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he shows Mary the photograph from the wallet and tries to talk her down with a charm roll. He tackles her to the floor with an extreme success, runs out into the storm for the silver coffer, and brings it in open. He fails his POW roll and is drawn toward the dead light until the Major knocks him down, and once the light is back inside he slams the lid and seals it with wax.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he appears dead in a Spanish uniform in Tallahassee's nightmare. Awake, he laments that the truck holds no flamethrower, and he reminds Tallahassee how many people the dead light might have killed if they had not stopped it.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he goes with Billy to Denny's Tavern, asks Ezra Denny for "possessed waters," and keeps the drinks flowing to old constable Robert Morgan, who repeatedly calls him "baby boy." He worries that no one has seen Mordecai Shep for weeks and suggests checking his shack.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] the Keeper notes that Dom is the sanest of the investigators, which Dom credits to "all the drinking I do." He pushes for a visit to Mordecai Shep's shack, listens at its door, and pockets the roughly $400 and the .38 revolver from the hidden box.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he buys round after round of scotch in Denny's Tavern and slams the campsite photograph down in front of Percival Warthrop to watch his reaction. While Percival keeps watch that night, Dom tells him about his wife Fiona and son Sam, who vanished from their London home 13 years earlier and left a strange symbol burned into the sitting room floor. Percival recognizes the symbol as belonging to the Order of Scorpius and the Devereaux family of witches, who have ties to Salem, and asks whether Fiona's maiden name was Devereaux. Dom refuses Percival's advice to let it go, saying that he is too far down the rabbit hole, and Percival promises to ask his contacts.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he helps try to force open J.G. Faust's tomb and asks Percival Warthrop whether he recognizes the gouges in the stairwell. In the laboratory below, he works out that the "phantom fire" probably smothered itself after the tomb door swung shut, which is why no one could find it.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he admits that he is terrible at research and joins Tallahassee Turner and Major Bakersfield in searching the Russell farm. In the barn's storm cellar, he is frozen briefly in shock by the headless creature, then rushes in and buries his machete in its back as it bites Tallahassee. The blow snaps Tallahassee out of his delusion.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he presses Percival Warthrop with questions about the creature's missing anatomy. He fumbles his search and gets lost on the way to the barn. He suggests that Percival's autopsy reveal where the creature's vital organs are so the group will know where to shoot.

In [[308: Infestation]] he successfully charms Goodman Gray by arguing that neither group benefits from the creatures rampaging across the countryside. His argument leads Gray to propose working together to cull them. He then joins the rush into the sanatorium and the escape that follows.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he prepares more Molotov cocktails from his smuggled booze. He follows Percival Warthrop around the Adams and Kedridge farms and agrees that the attacks are getting more recent closer to town.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he finally gets his hands on a flamethrower, handed over by Goodman Gray's men during the fortification of Denny's.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] one of Goodman Gray's men teaches him the basics of the flamethrower. He then stages a brawl with Percival Warthrop to pin down Gray's driver.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he takes the front door of Denny's with the flamethrower and shares a few swigs of whiskey and some gloomy advice with Robert Morgan.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he scouts the creatures' advance with the flamethrower, then brings down a ten-foot adult creature with three shots from his M1911, taking out both of its eyes before the third shot spills its insides.

In [[314: The Siege]] his flamethrower malfunctions when a creature smashes the barrel, setting Denny's Tavern on fire. He abandons it and wounds a creature with blind shots through the back door as the group retreats upstairs.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he blows up his abandoned flamethrower tank beneath the alpha, then takes control of the creature through its carved runes after recognizing among them the symbol he found when his family disappeared.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] his control over the alpha is broken by an explosion behind Denny's Tavern. He lights the dynamite for the group's last stand and helps finish off the surviving creatures.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he checks the dead man's pockets at the Riverview Apartments and finds a fully loaded, unfired snub-nosed .38 revolver but no ID. He asks whether the wounds could have come from a Freddy Krueger glove and joins the plan to check out the pawn shop.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he breaks open the locked drawers behind the Pawn and Prawns' counter with a brick, fumbling the first try and smashing his own hand, until he finds a fine wristwatch with a black leather band engraved "RG." He wipes down the drawers, takes the brick with him, and takes only that one item so that the shop will look as if it was robbed for a single piece.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he offers Hiram Hopkins, the owner of the Pawn and Prawns, his knowledge of the less respectable people in Arkham in exchange for the full truth about John Johnson. He keeps hold of the stolen watch, saying he is not letting it out of his sight and asking whether anyone has any idea how much booze it could buy. He then goes with the Major to take the watch to Cortex Studios.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he and the Major drive to Cortex Studios, where he suggests that they say they are with the police, which he says is technically true. He charms the owner, Jelty, with a hard success, shows him the watch, and says it was involved in a crime earlier that morning. After Jelty's records name the watch's owner, Dom asks about the Goddard family, John Johnson and the boatmen. On the street, he suggests checking under the car for bombs.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he and the Major drive to Raymond Goddard's house, where he tells the Major he is worried about him and suggests opening with the pawn shop break-in and the missing watch. When the man at the door claims to be Raymond Goddard, he says they are consultants with the police, and a Psychology check shows that the man looks genuinely confused when asked about the watch. After the Major's license check turns up the name Devin Black, Dom presses him to come clean, quietly draws his gun, begs him to tell the truth and asks whether he works for the mayor. He says he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, and the Keeper tells him the octopus dog tag matches the bodies in the tomb.

In [[406: Pain]] he answers the knock at the door of Raymond Goddard's house while the Major carries Devin Black out of sight. He talks to the neighbor, Bryce Gantt, saying that Mr. Goddard has returned from his holiday and wants his new furnishings and that furniture fell on a tender part of the body. A Charm roll gets an extreme success, and he shuts the door on Bryce. He then slaps the Major in the face for torturing Devin and argues with him about it, saying that he will keep both eyes on him and hopes that the Major will stop him if he ever does the same. At Pizza Dragons he says that they will not tell the others about the torture or the tying up, only that they leaned on Devin and that he went pale at the name Goodman Gray. He goes with the Major and Tallahassee to O'Malley's.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with the Major and Tallahassee to O'Malley's cafe, where he tells the barista Sheamus O'Malley that Harman Vance did not demise himself. He says that Harman was killed the same way his dear beloved wife was and that they want to find out more, and the Keeper offers him the Charm roll. He describes Harman's apartment full of radios, locked up with no sign of a break-in, and notes that the place where they found him was not a ground-floor apartment. He asks Sheamus for Harman's address, and the group finds a note signed RG in Harman's jacket and heads for East Water Street.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with the Major and Tallahassee to the house on East Water Street and knocks on the front door with Tallahassee. Inside, he picks up a piece of mail addressed to John Johnson, helps the group find an electric bill for Anna Fairbanks, and searches the living room with the Major. He asks whether the house has been empty for a while and learns that it is dusty, then finds a business card for Ricky Dubois of the Arkham Gazette in the desk. When the runner carpet will not move, he pulls it up with the Major's help and finds that it is glued down over smears of blood. He tells Tallahassee about the blood and glue, then calls Ricky Dubois from the phone on the desk to ask whether he knows Anna Fairbanks, and the phone is ringing when the scene moves on.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he phones Ricky Dubois at the Gazette from the house and, after the receptionist shouts for Ricky, tells him that Anna Fairbanks is in serious trouble. He asks when Ricky last saw her and what she told him, and when Ricky says that her maiden name is Tomaszewski, he answers that her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler. He asks whether the coffee shop where she meant to meet Ricky was O'Malley's, warns him that he may also be in danger and urges him to seek protection, and they agree to meet at O'Malley's at 8 a.m. the next day. He then phones the police to report gunfire and violence at the address, which the Keeper says sends them straight to the house. When the men outside advance, he draws his 1911, warns them that the only river they will be crossing is the river Styx and shoots first, killing the nearest gunman with a roll of 1 for 16 damage. He is shot in the hip for 7 damage, takes a major wound, spends Luck to stay conscious and fires back from the doorway, hitting twice for nine damage. He cannot move well, so the Major carries him to the boat, where the boatman swaddles him in a blanket while he insists that he is fighting like a man.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he is badly wounded, and the Keeper says he is no longer bleeding out after the Major's first aid. He asks to be carried into Simeon's study "like a baby" and is tucked in on the couch. After the others compare notes, he lays out his theory of the case: he names the victims as Elizabeth Bakersfield, John Johnson, Dr. Doyle and Raymond Goddard, says "Anna Fairbanks is the key that unlocks this entire case," and says the only person with a motive is Randolph Tomaszewski. He warns that Ricky Dubois may be the leak, since Anna told only him. Dom later asks Runch to carry him up the stairs "like a baby," and says "I'm just going to rest my eyes for just a moment" while Runch rocks him. Near the end of the episode Runch drags Dom out of the room by the feet, and Dom's condition is left unclear.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Tallahassee Turner

2026-10-27T16:07:47Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Seth Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

[[File:Tallahassee Turner.webp|right|500px]]

An adventurer/author who gained Diamond Skin in [[New Jerusalem]] and a horrifying dog-spider monster named "[[Necronomidog]]" in [[Radio Man]].

Clearly the main character of the story. Often goes dashing face-first into danger (even when it isn't necessary) with awesome results.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is a famous explorer and author living on the same Arkham street as [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]], and the host of the neighbors' gatherings. He is the one who spots the first sign that something is wrong with Corbitt, and the investigators' most reckless member.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Tallahassee hosts the Sunday evening gathering at his house. When Corbitt drops one of his packages, Tallahassee and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] both see what looks like a human hand, which starts the investigation. When Corbitt discovers his clothes on the lawn, Tallahassee blames ghosts that steal clothing.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
Earlier in the evening he questions the elderly neighbor Mr. Barber about Corbitt and explains the thrown clothes away as "research" for a novel and kleptomania picked up during his travels. During the night surveillance he trips over patio furniture, notices freshly turned soil in the garden and digs up a hard object. He pulls it free as Corbitt's light comes on and throws it over the fence into Simeon's yard, later finding that it is a large, possibly human bone, which costs him a little Sanity.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Tallahassee intercepts the police, spinning up fast talk as a famous author and neighborhood watchman. At the station he blurts out that he found a strange bone, and that [[Major Bakersfield]] broke his camera. The group jokes throughout that he has soiled himself from stress.

===104: Attic Window===
He develops the photograph taken when Bakersfield dropped his camera from Simeon's roof. The blurry image shows a woman's face in the attic window of Corbitt's house, and it triggers [[Dom Druncard|Dom]]'s memories.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Tallahassee arms himself with a pistol, cavalry saber, rope and hatchet and crosses the street with the photograph to confront Corbitt alone. After exchanging rude gestures with Mr. Barber he accuses Corbitt of hiding a woman in the attic, draws his gun and forces his way in, and Corbitt takes control of him with his chanting. Simeon and Bakersfield later find him wandering down the street naked and cracking his whip. Simeon distracts him with a dance, Bakersfield nets him and he is doused with water until he recovers. All he remembers is a shirtless man in suspenders.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
While the others go after Randolph Tomaszewski, Tallahassee stays behind watching Corbitt's house, and is then brought up to date and shown the occult book and the purple vial when the others return to Simeon's house.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
He is one of the three investigators at Simeon's side after Simeon drinks the vial and sees the invisible wounds. He jokes about waking Simeon by urinating on his face, and flirts with Simeon's wife, [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. The next day he joins the discussion of how to deal with Corbitt.

===108: Head of the Beast===
Inside Corbitt's house he searches the kitchen and finds a package that is labeled "Human Head" but turns out to be a joke; the long burlap-wrapped package beside it is only a tree branch. When the head-creature attacks Dom, Tallahassee rips it off Dom's chest and tosses it away. He goes through Corbitt's study, finding botany notes, occult books, a snakeskin-bound tome in an unreadable language and a long run of journals from 1911 to 1925. He reads the journals and finds Corbitt's confessions. At the basement door he pushes Dom aside and draws his .38 to shoot the lock, but Dom picks it first.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
In the basement Tallahassee fires both a .45 and a .38 at the creature, hitting it with some shots and nearly hitting Bakersfield with another. When the creature dies he stabs Corbitt as Corbitt throws himself onto its body. He stays at the scene to get his story straight with Billy before the police arrive. In the epilogue he goes home to write the wildest, most unbelievable, and truest of his adventure books.

==Notable quotes==

* "Alright guys [[Billy McConnell| Billy's]] gone, now's our chance to be bad!"

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he uses a framed picture as a mirror to spy the dead light searching the hallway of Dr. Webb's cottage, then flees with Billy through a bedroom window. Rather than run from the light under the window, he tries to shoot and photograph it, and the flash blinds him; he slips in the mud, which carries him clear of its strike. He then argues that the silver coffer is the way to stop it, runs back into the house to grab it, passes it to the Major, and stops to read more of the black journal.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he spends the fight with the dead light reading Dr. Webb's journal inside the cottage, then runs for the front of the house. Back at the diner he reads aloud a second entry dated March 22nd, 1888, describing the ritual for opening the silver coffer, and concludes that someone must have opened it without the ritual. He later searches the kitchen for Mary and, finding no ice cream, settles for potato chips.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he searches Jake's truck and takes a 12-gauge shotgun, which he names Horace, and threatens Mary with it during the standoff in the gas station office. Mary shoots him in the side for four damage, the first real damage he has taken. With his blood used for the ritual symbol, he reads the chant from the black journal as the dead light squeezes under the door.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he dreams of charging San Juan Hill with Teddy Roosevelt, only to find his friends and Mary among the defenders he has cut down. He wakes in a sweat in Grant Jameson's cabin and claims it is because he is manly. Shaken by Corbitt's warning and by Mary's death, he says he wants to go home and write another book, but after the others talk to him he agrees to go on. He is now indefinitely insane, and the amnesia from his last bout has left him with only a hazy memory of Mary's death. At the ruined campsite he tracks the drag marks and claw prints, fails his Sanity roll, and works out the dead photographer's camera settings so he can develop the film.

Since Mary the Hoebag's death in [[205: Lights Out]], Tallahassee has become increasingly unhinged, and the Keeper often describes impossible things happening to him, such as running into his old ward [[Rondo Corto|Rondo]], or Teddy Roosevelt, in the street. In [[302: The Huggening]] he mistakes a young man on the porch of New Salem's general store for his old friend and ward Rondo, who helped him stalk the Shadow Rider. The young man insists that he has never met Tallahassee, but Tallahassee wraps him in a fighting hug that he cannot escape. The young man is actually [[Ike Watson's Gang|Levi]], and Tallahassee admits he has no idea who he hugged. He fast-talks newsman Jacob Alister into lending him the Shofar's darkroom in exchange for an exclusive interview and photo, and he successfully begins developing the film from the abandoned campsite.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he develops the dead photographer's last two photos in the Shofar's darkroom. As the image of a headless, shark-mouthed creature fades in, he fumbles his reality check with a roll of 100, loses 5 Sanity and is found huddled in a corner, hiding his face. A drink back at the tavern calms him, despite his worry about disappointing his best friend [[Fred Landers]]. At Mordecai Shep's shack he keeps watch from the roof of the truck and insists that the others search for trapdoors, and Billy duly finds one. The letters hidden there reveal that Bernard Corbitt modeled his laboratory's elaborate locking mechanism on Tallahassee's tales, and Tallahassee declares, "I knew he was a fan."

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he answers Percival Warthrop's question about curses with "I see you've read my book," and he promises to write about the Grand Slam if it is any good. He claims that his wife is legally dead after being killed by Vikings. At the cemetery he keeps watch from the roof of the truck, and as the others call for his help with J.G. Faust's tomb, he spots another vehicle creeping up the road, which stops once he is in sight.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he corrects his report of the retreating car: it was a Packard, not a Model T. He notices that the Latin inscription on J.G. Faust's tomb is embossed and can be pressed in. Before going into the tomb he casts Flesh Ward (which the table nicknames "Diamond Skin"), which gives him 35 points of armor, but the cost to his Sanity leaves him seeing a snake idol of Nefertiti, which he charges with his cavalry saber until Dr. Simeon talks him back to reality. While searching the bodies in the hidden laboratory, he finds a strange dog tag reading "Vernon A. D. Bergenberger."

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he rides up front to the Russell farm rather than "waste" his Flesh Ward on library research. At the farm he spots bullet holes and claw-like gouges around the smashed front door and leads the search of the wrecked farmhouse. He pulls the shovel from the barn's storm cellar doors and goes down first. When a headless, shark-mouthed creature charges out, his madness shows him his old friend Rondo Corto running to hug him, and he opens his arms to it. The creature tackles him and bites his shoulder, but his Flesh Ward absorbs the damage, and Dom Druncard's machete strike snaps him back to reality.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he shows off his unmarked shoulder to a skeptical Percival Warthrop, since his Flesh Ward absorbed the creature's bite. He admits that he emptied his revolver into the creature once he realized it was not Rondo. He argues for searching the farm for survivors and helps go through Corbitt's notes. By the time the group leaves for the sanatorium, his Flesh Ward has 31 of its 35 points left and should last until the next morning.

In [[308: Infestation]] he confronts one of Goodman Gray's henchmen outside the Motley Hill Sanatorium. He intimidates the man and draws his .45 when the henchman reaches for a gun, then presses Gray about his organization. When screams break out inside, he runs down the basement stairs to cover Percival Warthrop's escape. On the way out he fumbles an attempt to kick Major Bakersfield's dropped dynamite down the stairs and spends Luck to avoid disaster. He nearly falls toward the creatures before Percival pulls him to safety.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he watches from the back of the truck and reports that the creatures are not pursuing. He admits that he panicked on the sanatorium stairs despite his diamond skin. He then proposes luring the creatures into a tunnel and blowing up both ends.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he plants dynamite with long fuses around the approach to Denny's.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he finishes rigging dynamite around the vehicles in front of Denny's, then hears the creatures coming from the burning west side of town and runs inside to raise the alarm.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he sees two squirrels seem to explode and feels his mind slipping, then finishes his traps and runs the fuses into Denny's so they can be lit from inside.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he lights the fuse on the first booby trap, blowing several creatures to pieces, and later rallies the defenders of Denny's to open fire as the creatures surround the building.

In [[314: The Siege]] he reveals that he hid the dead light outside and releases it with a rope pulled from inside Denny's Tavern, then watches it burn through the creatures. Holding the back door, he shoots one creature and slashes another with his cavalry saber while his Flesh Ward stops a bite.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he fights on at the back door of Denny's Tavern while hallucinating that he is in a cult temple and then in the Satsuma Rebellion. He charges upstairs to defend Ezra Denny and is dragged out a window into the street by a creature.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he grabs a lit stick of dynamite and charges alone into the last pack of creatures behind Denny's Tavern. He walks out of the explosion with shredded clothes, a long cut down his cheek and skin left nearly unmarked by his Flesh Ward.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he describes himself as the "invincible" hero of New Jerusalem, with a new book about to be published, ''The Fall of New Jerusalem''. At the Riverview Apartments the group finds a stack of his adventure books and an empty bottle of caffeine pills near a dead man's chair, and he searches the bedroom, which holds only more radios. He mentions that he has a book signing later that day.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he drives the getaway car for the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns, driving erratically and too fast on his first getaway. After breakfast he goes alone to confront a staring boater outside the diner, asking whether he knows the ferryman. The man hugs him, pins his arms and whispers that the boat man is here and is going to take him, and then cold hands close around Tallahassee's throat and everything goes black.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he is unconscious for almost the entire episode. Ezra Denny says he was wrestling with a hobo outside the diner before Ezra chased the man off. Dr. Simeon's Command spells and smelling salts do nothing for him, and the medical examiner says he looks like the other "boaters," people who are alive but cannot be woken. When Billy's Command succeeds at the end, he is walking a barren landscape under an alien sky and hears the word echo from far away. His reply is "Now I'm good, thanks."

In [[404: Episode IV]] he is in a barren, crystal-strewn world under red lightning, where he loses a point of Sanity, meets Runch and hears first Billy's Command and then Dr. Simeon's from the sky. He casts Sign of Power, a somatic spell, forces a crack in the place open and wakes on the back seat of a car with Runch still haunting him. He tells the others that the hobo outside the diner hugged him, whispered about the ferryman and gave him a cold chill, and that the time he spent there felt like half a day, while the others say it was an hour or two.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he goes with Billy and Dr. Simeon to the Arkham police station, doing finger guns at the detectives and flicking out his trench coat as he walks across the work floor. After a hard success on Spot Hidden he catches a dark figure at the edge of his vision that is gone when he looks again, and tells the others it is not the first time. He sneaks in through a side entrance and offers the records clerk, Sarah Beatrice, an autographed book to help Billy's Persuade, and helps search the records with a hard success on Library Use.

In [[406: Pain]] he is with Billy and Dr. Simeon in the police records room when they find the fingerprint match, and the Keeper sends him and Simeon out through the side door past the records clerk. He arrives at Pizza Dragons with Billy and Simeon, and when the group splits up he goes with Dom and the Major to O'Malley's, while Billy and Dr. Simeon go to the hospital. He has no lines confidently tagged to him this episode.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with Dom and the Major to O'Malley's cafe, where the table's running gag has him throw a Kantstandyerbitz brick through the door before the Keeper has him settle his fedora and step in. He tells the barista Sheamus O'Malley that they only want to ask a few questions about Harman Vance, and Sheamus recognizes him from the paper when he calls himself a famous author-explorer. He gives the pitch about hunting down the killer and rolls Charm with a bonus die, which gets Sheamus to pour shots, and he succeeds on a Psychology roll with the Major to see that Sheamus is telling the truth. Later, Billy recalls that Tallahassee confessed to seeing the shadowy figure at Pizza Dragons, which the Keeper confirms.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with Dom and the Major to the house on East Water Street, suggests splitting up with the Major sneaking around the back, and goes to the front door with Dom, holding his gun down behind his leg. Inside, he keeps watch at the front window, peeking out from the side of the curtain, and gets a hard success on Spot Hidden. He sees two figures on the street, a disheveled man who stops near the yard to fumble with his pockets and another heading for the house, and tells Dom and the Major that he is keeping an eye on a couple of shady characters out front.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he watches the street from the front window and stands by the door while Dom phones Ricky Dubois. The Keeper says a shimmer then runs over his skin, and he tells the others that he was casting a spell and that there are about ten people outside, though the Keeper describes five. When Dom says that this case will take real investigation, Tallahassee says that you can just run into the fray and blow them all up. He steps out the front door, points his gun at the men and tells them to stop, and asks "Montgomery is that you?" as their leader says they are clearing up problems for the ferryman. He fires once at a gunman and misses. His Flesh Ward ("Diamond Skin") takes 4 damage from a knife thrust at his side and 6 more from a bullet in the back, and he shoots the knife man at point blank. He helps Dom hobble toward the back, fires three more shots at a gunman in the doorway, grazing him once, and sprints for the pier. On the boat he meets Captain Carl Runch, tells him to let him know if he ever needs anything and says that the stories in his books are all true.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he tells the Major "Bakersfield, patch him up," then asks Simeon and Billy "Didn't you hear us knocking?" He admits to the Keeper that he rolled only half the dice on his Flesh Ward ("Diamond Skin"), and says that finishing the roll he "ended up with 38," or 28 after the 10 points he took. He later tells the others that a hobo hugged him before he ended up in Soyland, but that he felt cold hands around the back of his neck and so does not think the hobo put him there. He says he cast his Sign of Power while he was in Soyland and is not sure whether it warded off evil and broke the dream world or boosted another spell that was trying to bring him back. The Keeper says that he spent all of his magic points on Flesh Ward but has probably regained one, and the group considers using it on a Sign of Power to help wake Simeon's wife.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

Major Bakersfield

2026-10-27T16:07:41Z

William Jodeit: Add 410 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Sam Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A veteran ravaged by The Great War. Lost his wife near the end of [[New Jerusalem]] along with one of his eyes. Is not opposed to torturing people.

Owner and proprietor of Guns, Chicks and Ammo.

Really, really likes nice glasses.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is introduced as Major Frederick Aloisius Bakersfield, one of the neighbors who gathers at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house. He is the investigators' arsenal and muscle, and he carries "Old Reliable", a human-catching net.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
While the neighbors visit [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]], the Major snoops through the front of the house. He independently repeats [[Dom Druncard]]'s idea of throwing a hat out of the guest room window and escalates by throwing out a second hat and a pea coat, adding to the growing pile of outerwear on Corbitt's lawn.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
He sets up on the roof of [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house with binoculars and a large period camera. When the light in Corbitt's window comes on he accidentally fires a flash photograph at Corbitt's house, revealing the group's position, then fumbles his stealth roll and slides off the roof into the yard, injuring himself.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Bakersfield and Simeon go back into Corbitt's yard, and when the back door is locked Bakersfield simply kicks it in. They are caught on the staircase by a responding officer and march outside at gunpoint. At the police station he gives the most coherent account of the night: Corbitt arriving with the package, the bone in the garden, and Dom going into the house and never coming out. Tallahassee blames him for breaking his camera.

===104: Attic Window===
He and Simeon research the bone in Simeon's library, then take it to [[Shrimp Puerto Rico|Dr. Puerto Rico]] at Miskatonic University. The photograph from the camera he dropped from the roof shows the face in Corbitt's attic window.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Bakersfield takes Simeon to his army surplus store, where the shopping trip becomes a small private arsenal: revolvers, shotguns, a long gun, rope, first aid gear, a hatchet and dynamite from his personal stash, plus a human-catching net, justified by his "Mr. Nettie Hands" war stories. Back on the road they find Tallahassee wandering naked under Corbitt's influence, and Bakersfield tackles him with the net.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
With [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] and Dom, he tracks Randolph Tomaszewski to Crenshaw and waits in the alley with Old Reliable. When Tomaszewski flees down the fire escape, the Major ambushes him from behind a dumpster, nets him and wrestles him to the ground despite Tomaszewski's switchblade. Tomaszewski is briefly stashed in the car trunk.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
After Simeon drinks the purple vial and collapses, Bakersfield improvises first aid with rags and towels from the kitchen, which stops some of the bleeding, with a further kit from [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. The next morning, when the group talks of blowing up Corbitt's business, he drily remarks "so now you guys want my involvement". He questions why Simeon drank the vial and judges that Simeon is being genuine. The group arms itself with shotguns, revolvers, dynamite and an elephant gun.

===108: Head of the Beast===
In Corbitt's house, Bakersfield searches the main floor for doors, and runs upstairs when Dom is attacked by the head-creature. He tries to grab it, but is unable to pull it off. He searches the attic with Dom, copies down botany notes mentioning a substance called "soma", and, inspired by the journals' references to the basement, re-searches the lower floor and finds a concealed locked panel beside the stairs.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
He keeps his cool at the sight of the creature through sheer wartime nerve, blasts large chunks out of it with his shotgun, and is nearly devoured when it grabs him with several arms. He holds its ringed, tooth-lined maw back by jamming his elephant gun sideways across its mouth until Dom kills it. In the epilogue he goes home to wash up, drinks from one of his nice glasses, and takes Dom back to his house; he settles into the certainty that when something is wrong in the world, his job is to make it right.

==Notable quotes==

* "They didn't call me Mister Catchyhands in the war for nothing."
* "They didn't call me The Actor in the war for nothing."
* "They didn't call me Mister Nettyhands in the war for nothing."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he leads the basement group upstairs, slams the door of Dr. Webb's room as the dead light races toward him, then fires into the ceiling and shouts at it to draw it away from Simeon. His shot at the light from the top of the basement stairs has no effect, though it makes the light pause. He later claims his net was blessed by a priest as "the holy net of Antioch", then takes the silver coffer from Tallahassee and runs outside to open it.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he runs at the dead light with the open silver box to scoop it up like a net, but only burns his fingers for two points of damage. He patches up Simeon, Dom and himself with first aid on the drive to the cafe. He later checks the powder room and follows footprints around the back of the building before losing them in the mud, and bandages the wound on Winifred Brewer's head.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he edges along the wall to help Amelia up while Tallahassee distracts Mary, and later handcuffs Mary after she is tackled. He draws the ritual symbol on her forehead in blood and breaks her nose with a punch when she kicks at him. When Dom is entranced by the dead light, he punches him, shoves Mary to the ground and takes the open coffer from him.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he leads the group to the cabin of his old army friend Grant Jameson, then reveals that three days earlier he questioned Corbitt at the Arkham Sanatorium. Corbitt told him that others were after his work and that the investigators were far behind, so he insists that they leave for New Jerusalem at once. He needles Tallahassee about running when the going gets tough. After the campsite he fails his Sanity roll and finds his Colt in his hand without remembering drawing it.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he joins Tallahassee at the general store and tries to restrain [[Ike Watson's Gang|Ike Watson]] from behind and whisper a warning in his ear, but he fumbles the grab and Ike shoves him into the porch railing. He introduces himself to Mayor Jedediah Marsh as a Great War veteran and urges the group to stick together after spotting Ike and Levi trailing Tallahassee.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he suggests that Ezra Denny call his new all-day breakfast a "grand slam" instead of a "home run," and he becomes the first recipient of a Grand Slam at Denny's. At the Shofar he finds the screaming Tallahassee in the darkroom. After seeing the photos, he points out that the creatures look nothing like the one Corbitt built, orders everyone to stay armed at all times, and calls for "a show of force" at Mordecai Shep's shack. With night falling, he insists that the group sleep in one room for Tallahassee's sake.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he brings the bottle to the group's table with Percival Warthrop and rouses everyone at 0700 hours. He asks Delilah Bevins whether her missing friend Hannah Russell "may have bought the farm," and at the cemetery he leads the way to the tombs on the north side.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he scoops the burned papers from the hidden laboratory into a sack. Shown the strange dog tag from one of the bodies, he says it is no military tag he has ever seen and suggests that it must belong to some top-secret branch of the military.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he searches the wrecked Russell farmhouse with Tallahassee Turner and Dom Druncard. In the barn's storm cellar, his loud caw draws out a headless, shark-mouthed creature. After a moment of shock, he runs up with flashbacks to the trenches, jams his shotgun between the creature's eyes and kills it with a point-blank blast.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he comes out of the root cellar covered in the creature's blood and shows the others the kill. He poses for a photograph with his cavalry saber stuck in the carcass. He also confirms, from his study of the spellbooks, that the runes on the fragment are binding runes.

In [[308: Infestation]] he and Billy McConnell are the first to hear men screaming inside the Motley Hill Sanatorium. During the escape his thrown stick of dynamite slips from his hand and lands at the top of the basement stairs. It explodes just as dozens of creatures burst out of the building.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he draws Old Reliable on Mayor Jedediah Marsh and intimidates him into admitting that he was paid to watch Corbitt and help Goodman Gray. He lights a stick of dynamite to press for more, but Gray arrives and silences the mayor first.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he reveals that he learned a spell from Corbitt's journals that summons a winged beast to obey a single command. As night approaches, he remembers his friend Grant Jameson, holed up in a cabin an hour north. Bound by his vow to the men under his command, he borrows Percival Warthrop's car and leaves to bring Jameson back.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he drives north toward Grant Jameson's cabin, passing the Layton Farm without stopping, and casts Summon the Steed of Stars on the way to call the steed Slotty Botfast. He completes the spell, barely, as he reaches the cabin, while screeches and roars approach through the woods.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he reaches Grant Jameson's cabin and is cut off from his car by the creatures. The two men barricade themselves inside, and Bakersfield kills one creature with a point-blank shotgun blast through the window slats.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he loses his left eye when a dynamite blast blows the windshield of Percival Warthrop's car in on him and Grant Jameson. Half-blinded, he fights off the two remaining creatures at the cabin with his Colt and the car. His summoned steed, Slotty Botfast, crushes the last one and flies both men back toward New Jerusalem.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he flies over the burning town on Slotty Botfast, an eye bandaged, and comes down on the south side of Denny's Tavern as the creatures converge on it.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he rides Slotty Botfast into a creature charging Tallahassee Turner and kills it with both barrels, then leads the group's last stand behind Denny's Tavern and supplies its dynamite. In the episode's closing teaser he returns home to find his wife dead.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he rides in silence to the Riverview Apartments, now with a patch over his missing eye, and says that he has brought his net. He examines the body of a dead man in an apartment full of radios and finds puncture wounds like those of an ice pick, which he tells Billy McConnell look exactly like the ones on the Major's wife.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he joins the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns, searches the shop's ledger and leaves with it. Over breakfast at the diner, the table notes that he is taking his wife's death hard, and the Keeper recalls how he found his wife on the kitchen floor.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he goes with the others to the Pawn and Prawns, where he draws his 1911 on the shop's owner, Hiram Hopkins, and rolls Intimidate with a bonus die until Hiram admits that he lied about the watch. In the car he wonders whether Mayor Sidel is connected to the "RG" on the watch and suggests finding out who works closely with the mayor. He then goes with Dom to take the watch to Cortex Studios. At the morgue, Dr. Jared Sylvester says that John Johnson's stab wounds look very much like those found on the Major's wife about five weeks earlier.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he and Dom drive to Cortex Studios on West Armitage Street, where a row of nice glasses makes him look away in rage and sadness before his face goes blank again. He says he is not worried about posing as police and is there for answers, and asks the watchmaker Jelty about John Johnson and the "Radio Man," and about the boaters. After Jelty names Raymond Goddard as the watch's owner and gives them his address, the Major says he has heard of the wealthy Goddard family but knows nothing about them. The autopsy report gives his late wife's name as Elizabeth Brown Bakersfield.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he and Dom drive toward the south side of town to Raymond Goddard's house. When Dom says he is worried about him after the pawn shop, he answers that he has "never been more dialed in," and that it is personal this time but he is ready. At the house he draws his 1911, pushes his way in and takes a wallet showing that the man who opened the door is Devin Black, not Goddard. He kicks Devin's legs out from under him for an extreme success on Brawl, then spends Sanity to cut his neck and stab him in the shoulder, dropping to 35 Sanity, and asks whether Devin's people killed Elizabeth Bakersfield. He finds a switchblade and a dog tag on Devin and says "You work for Goodman Gray," and when Devin starts to struggle he knocks him unconscious.

In [[406: Pain]] he carries the unconscious Devin Black into the hallway and lays him on the stairs while Dom answers the door. Dom then slaps him across the face over how he treated Devin, and the two argue: the Major says that he never meant to murder Devin, only to press him, that Dom's way was not working, and that they have done worse, citing what they did to Mary from the diner. At Pizza Dragons he has a welt across his bad eye. He tells the others that the mayor and Goodman Gray are definitely involved, shows the octopus dog tag that was taken from Devin, and goes with Dom and Tallahassee to O'Malley's.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with Dom and Tallahassee to O'Malley's cafe to question the barista Sheamus O'Malley about Harman Vance. He introduces himself as Aloysius Bakersfield, a retired major, tells Sheamus that he is trying to track down his wife's killer, and says that, as the saying goes, the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He asks whether Harman left the O'Malleys' work by his own choice, succeeds on a Psychology roll to see that Sheamus is nervous because he is telling the truth, and gives Sheamus his card. The group finds a note signed RG in Harman's jacket and heads for East Water Street.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with Dom and Tallahassee to the house on East Water Street and goes around the back, reminding them how he caught the Miskatonic Mangler. He wheels the trash can to the front, finds the back door unlocked and opens the front door to let the others in. He fails Spot Hidden twice and trips on a runner carpet that will not move, then helps Dom pull it up to find the blood beneath. He follows the streaks of blood out the back door, fails another Spot Hidden roll and loses the trail in the small fenced backyard that leads to the river and a little pier.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he comes back in from the backyard as Dom phones the Gazette and gives his name to Ricky Dubois over the line. He touches Tallahassee's shimmering skin and calls it "super stiff diamondy skin." He locks the front door while Dom phones the police and suggests that they head out the back door and down toward the river. When the men outside start toward the house he draws his 1911 to cover Tallahassee from the doorway, then runs out the back to look for a boat. After hearing the gunshots he goes to the pier, sees a man in a little boat on the river and waves and shouts for help until the man turns toward him. He runs back to the house to tell the others they have a boat, scoops up the wounded Dom and carries him to the pier, then turns to cover Tallahassee with his 1911. In the boat he rolls a 70 on First Aid and stabilizes Dom, and afterward teases him as a "baby boy" while Dom protests.

In [[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]] he carries the wounded Dom into Simeon's study "like a baby," lays him on the couch and tucks an afghan around him, saying "I already did patch him up." He listens as Dom works through the case and asks what his wife could have had in common with the other victims. When Dom names Randolph Tomaszewski, the Major says "I should have killed him when I had the chance," and points out that Tomaszewski was Corbett's puppet. Later he and the others go after Simeon when he runs out of the study.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]
*[[410: Just Watch the Fireworks]]

410: Just Watch the Fireworks

2026-10-27T16:07:34Z

William Jodeit: New episode page

==Synopsis==
The episode picks up where [[409: Pass the Baby]] left off. After the aquatic escape from Anna Fairbanks's house, the Keeper says [[Captain Runch|Captain Carl Runch]] gave the group a ride across town and "seems to have decided to tag along." They reach Dr. Simeon's house in the dark, with light only in the study. [[Major Bakersfield|The Major]] carries the wounded [[Dom Druncard|Dom]] in "like a baby," lays him on the study couch and tucks an afghan around him. Inside they find [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] at his desk with a glass of water and [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] on the edge of a chair, both staring blankly, until the others bring them to their senses.

Dom is badly wounded but is no longer bleeding out, and the Keeper explains how major wounds and the dying rules work. Simeon and Billy shake off their daze and recall that the last thing they remember is Raymond Goddard being stabbed by an invisible attacker at the hospital before the missing time that followed. [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] admits that he rolled only half the dice on his Flesh Ward ("Diamond Skin"); finishing the roll, he says, left him with 38 points, or 28 after the 10 damage he took. The groups compare notes. Billy says the radio asked "Remember me, Billy?", and Simeon shows that the invisible stab wounds look just like his own. Dom lays out his theory: the victims so far are Elizabeth Bakersfield, John Johnson, Dr. Doyle and Raymond Goddard, Anna Fairbanks is the key to the case, and the only person with a motive is [[Randolph Tomaszewski]], who may somehow be pulling people into Soyland. He also wonders whether the Gazette reporter Ricky Dubois is the leak, since Anna told only him. Billy mentions that Devin Black's eyes went wide when they said the name [[Goodman Gray]].

Shown Harman Vance's ID photo, Simeon realizes he saw the man in his dream that morning, before Billy's phone call. The Keeper recounts the dream, and Simeon realizes his wife was there too. He runs out of the study, calling for her. The radio flares up and the Keeper says the group hears something from it, but the words are missing from the recording. Upstairs Simeon finds [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]] asleep in bed where he left her that morning, though it is only about seven in the evening. Her breathing is shallow and her face looks sunken. The Keeper tells him the dream was real and she is trapped in Soyland. Simeon loses 1 sanity. Smelling salts do not work, and neither does his Command of the Wizard, although her eyelids and hair flutter. Meanwhile Dom asks Runch to carry him up the stairs like a baby, and Runch rocks him and tells him to go to sleep.

With Tallahassee holding one recharged magic point for his Sign of Power, the group debates what to do, and the Keeper reminds them that Mary Beth has been in Soyland all day. Simeon decides to reach Soyland through his own dream, as he did that morning. Billy puts him in a sleeper hold, then casts Command of the Wizard on him with the word "sleep," and Simeon drops into a very deep sleep. While the others are busy, Runch drags Dom out of the room by the feet, and Dom's condition is left unclear as the episode ends.

==Funny Moments==

* Tallahassee says "We just got chased by a bunch of bum-hole monsters," and Dom adds "I created more bum-holes than Tallahassee did."
* When Dom says he would like to be carried "like a baby," the Major carries him into the study and sets him on the couch.
* Dom tells Simeon and Billy that "The metric system is much more user-friendly than the crazy system you Yanks use."
* Tallahassee says "I only rolled half the dice" on his Flesh Ward, and Dom asks "You mean to tell me that I took a bullet for you because you only rolled half your dice."
* The Keeper offers a tip for other Keepers: "Don't give your players the diamond skin spell. You only give them Smiting Blast of the Foul One because it's worthless."
* Simeon blasts the Major with Smiting Blast of the Foul One, and the Keeper says "I won't even make you roll it. Major Bakersfield, you slam through the window." The Major answers "We'll meet again, Simeon."
* Simeon says he "ripped off my shirt and I said, they look just like this!" to show the others his old stab wounds.
* Billy tells Dom "that's some pretty impressive detective work," and Dom answers "I learned for the best, Billy."
* The Keeper says that in Simeon's dream "the creatures turned into smoothies and you were fighting a bunch of smoothies."
* After Simeon rolls his sanity check, the Keeper says "So now you're going to lose five more points of sanity," then "Just kidding."
* Dom tells Runch "This is a matter of life and death. I need you to carry me up the stairs like a baby," and when Runch keeps calling him a bum, Dom answers "stop calling me a bum I'm a drifter it's much more dramatic."
* As Runch rocks him, Dom says "I object to this treatment," then "it actually is pretty relaxing."
* Billy suggests that Simeon try Command of the Wizard on his wife. Simeon snaps, then says "That's actually a really good idea. I'm sorry I said that," and later calls Billy's undeveloped frontal lobe "your prefrontal cortex that is not fully developed yet. You mook."
* After the group rambles through a tangent, the Keeper says "Freakin Philistines, okay."
* When Simeon suggests going to Corbett's house to look for soy sauce, the Keeper says "They search Corbett's house extremely thoroughly."
* As Billy puts Simeon in the sleeper hold, he says "I put my finger up to his mouth and go, shh," and Simeon tells him "I wasn't gonna resist you anyways."

==Notable Quotes==

* "Remember me, Billy?" —[[Billy McConnell|Billy]], repeating what the radio said
* "the person that has the thing in common with the other guys is you." —[[Dom Druncard|Dom]], to the Major
* "I should have killed him when I had the chance." —[[Major Bakersfield|The Major]]
* "Anna Fairbanks is the key that unlocks this entire case." —[[Dom Druncard|Dom]]
* "we have to consider the possibility that he's the leaky faucet so to speak in this case" —[[Dom Druncard|Dom]], on Ricky Dubois
* "I mean they might let me in so I could talk to him." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], on visiting Arkham
* "He was in my dream this morning" —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]], on Harman Vance
* "I'm a dang sea captain." —[[Captain Runch|Runch]]
* "Someone's got to send me in there right now. I can get there through my dream." —[[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]
* "the dream that you had this morning was real and that your wife has been taken like the others to Soyland and has been trapped there all day." —the Keeper

Randolph Tomaszewski

2026-10-27T15:48:34Z

William Jodeit: Add 409 mention

Played by: [[Alex Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A fired orderly of Central Hospital in Arkham and the villain's hands-on helper in [[Mister Corbitt]]. He turns out to be the "Miskatonic Mangler", a serial killer who dismembers his victims. He is also the man who kidnapped [[Dom Druncard]], and he is the supplier of the body parts behind [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]]'s grisly experiments.

==Background==
Randolph worked at Central Hospital, where his job included disposing of amputated limbs and other surgical remains in the incinerator. He was later fired after being publicly linked to the disappearance of nearly a dozen neighborhood dogs and cats. Though never convicted, he was questioned by police and the hospital's superintendent remembers him as increasingly withdrawn, tense and paranoid. The investigators trace him through the license plate of the car Dom escaped from, in [[104: Attic Window]] and [[105: Radical Medicine]].

==Capture==
In [[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]], [[Dom Druncard]], [[Billy McConnell]] and [[Major Bakersfield]] find him in his shabby apartment on Crenshaw. Dom recognizes him at the door and Randolph flees down the fire escape, only to be ambushed by the Major from behind a dumpster and tangled in his net. Dom gets some personal revenge, and under questioning Randolph admits that Corbitt ordered Dom's kidnapping and that he is the Miskatonic Mangler. He says he kept supplying Corbitt with body parts for drugs, fell into Satanic devotion, and that Corbitt is building a gate for "the Master". His apartment held an occult altar, a copy of ''True Magic'', ceremonial gear and a vial of neon-purple liquid, along with blood-stained jewelry that looks like trophies from his victims.

==Aftermath==
Billy hands him over to the police. In [[107: Fates and Retribution]] he is reported to be incoherent in custody and ranting about the Master. In [[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]] Billy uses his name to trip up Corbitt, who pronounces it a little too correctly for a man who has never heard of him. By the epilogue, the "gate" Randolph spoke of has been closed. Around three months later, in [[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]], the radio reports that he is still confessing and that police are piecing together the whole story from his rants.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] the stamped paper that [[Billy McConnell]] and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] find on a stack of employee forms in Dr. Doyle's office has his name on it, as the Keeper reads it out, and Billy describes it as the termination paperwork. The players also read out the name Anna Fairbanks from the bottom of the form, and the Keeper does not say how she relates to him.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] the Gazette reporter Ricky Dubois tells Dom that Anna Fairbanks is a married name and that her maiden name is Tomaszewski, and Dom answers that her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler. Ricky says that Anna told him her brother had connections that went all the way to the top and that she planned to bring photos and papers showing that they were related, but she never showed up to the meeting.

==Appearances==
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]

==Mentioned==
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]

Captain Runch

2026-10-27T15:48:29Z

William Jodeit: Add 409 appearance and short bio

Dom Druncard

2026-10-27T15:48:24Z

William Jodeit: Add 409 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Pete Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

Also known as Prospero.

Dominic John "Dom" Druncard is one of the neighbors who gathers at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house in [[Mister Corbitt]] and gets pulled into the investigation of [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]]. He is the investigator who suffers the most at Corbitt's hands: he is chanted into helplessness, kidnapped, forced into an attic, and later attacked by the thing that lived there, before finally getting a measure of revenge. By the end of the story he has, for the first time in a long while, found people he can trust.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Dom is one of the neighbors enjoying "non-alcoholic water" and jazz at Tallahassee's house when [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]] arrives with his wrapped packages. His attempt at baking cookies for the visit produces charred sludge that the group insists on calling "crumpets". Inside Corbitt's house he snoops "under cover of bathroom breaks" and finds only a closet containing an extremely excellent hat, which fits so perfectly that he throws it out the guest room window for later retrieval. When [[Major Bakersfield]] repeats the idea with another hat and a pea coat, the pile of outerwear on Corbitt's lawn is what nosy neighbor Tom Barber reports to Corbitt.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
During the nighttime surveillance of Corbitt's yard Dom fumbles his climb and falls off the fence, injuring himself; the group then remembers it owns a ladder. When Corbitt's light comes on, Dom hides against the house, then finds the back door unlocked and slips inside. He overhears Corbitt on the telephone reporting prowlers, slips past him, and goes upstairs. In Corbitt's bedroom he finds the book ''Plants and Fungi of the Amazon Basin'' by Dr. P. D. Florence in the nightstand. He then pulls down the squeaky attic ladder and sees a woman's face staring down at him with long dark hair, lifeless eyes and a hanging mouth, which costs him Sanity. Corbitt appears behind him, chanting strange syllables, and Dom fails his POW roll (a running gag has him trying to substitute "handsome" for it). A scream from upstairs ends the episode.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Dom is missing for most of the episode while the others are questioned by Detective Frank Kovach and Detective Burke. He wakes with a pounding head in the trunk of a moving car, hands tied and pockets emptied, and uses a heavy metal bar to lever the trunk open. When the car stops he attacks the driver, a tall, wiry, mean-looking man with a switchblade, in what the table calls the wimpiest fight imaginable. He bull-rushes the man into the car, knocking the switchblade away, and runs. After a chase through the industrial streets he reaches a shop, gets a perfect look at the pursuing car's license plate with a Spot Hidden roll, writes it down, and calls the police.

===104: Attic Window===
Kovach brings Dom to [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house the next morning, and Dom recounts the escape and the license plate. He and [[Billy McConnell]] try to watch Corbitt's house from a window, and Dom crashes into the window while trying to stay stealthy. The plate leads them to [[Randolph Tomaszewski]], an orderly at Central Hospital who had been questioned over pet mutilations. When [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]'s developed photograph shows a woman's face in Corbitt's attic window, Dom's memories return: he had been in the house, seen the face, and been forced into the attic by Corbitt's chanting. He sat there for hours while his friends and then the police searched below without opening the attic door, and he remembers something else moving in the attic with him.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Dom explains that after seeing the face he heard Corbitt chanting and lost control of his body. He and Billy visit Central Hospital, where they speak to nurse Miss Witherspoon and the superintendent, Dr. Doyle, and learn that Tomaszewski was fired after being linked to the pet mutilation case and that he used to dispose of amputated limbs in the hospital incinerator. Doyle supplies Tomaszewski's address, 143 Crenshaw, Apartment 4B.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
Dom, Billy and Major Bakersfield track [[Randolph Tomaszewski]] to Crenshaw. Dom recognizes him the moment he opens the door as the man who abducted him, and when the Major nets him in the alley Dom delivers a "deeply personal revenge kick" to the ribs. Tomaszewski confesses that Corbitt ordered Dom's abduction and murder and that he is the Miskatonic Mangler. In his apartment Dom recognizes the book ''True Magic'' by C. Adolphus Renwen as a real and serious work on occult rituals rather than the usual fraud. He and the Major bring the book and the purple vial to Simeon's house.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
Dom is one of the three investigators (with [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] and [[Major Bakersfield]]) watching over [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Simeon]] after he drinks the purple vial, and he witnesses the invisible wounds that tear open Simeon's body. He is present the next morning as the group debates how to get at Corbitt, and the plan settles on breaking into the house once Corbitt leaves.

===108: Head of the Beast===
During a thunderstorm Dom picks the lock and the group breaks into Corbitt's house. He returns to the attic despite his earlier trauma, pushes a Listen roll by closing his eyes to "listen real hard", and the woman's severed head drops onto his scalp. It has been turned into a spider-like creature with bony arm-legs. Dom tears it off his head, [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] rips it off his chest, and Dom destroys it with a point-blank .38 shot, adding his catchphrase "Dutch, no way to get ahead in life." Because he has killed the source of his terror, the Keeper lets him recover 3 Sanity. Dom then spends half an hour searching the attic and finds only puncture marks on the walls and ceiling, bags the head-beast, reads Corbitt's first 1911 journal aloud to the group, and is part of the party when Bakersfield finds the hidden basement panel. Dom solves the lock with his lockpicking skill, narrowly beating Tallahassee's plan to shoot it open, and the basement door clicks open.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
Dom and the others take Corbitt into the basement, where they find the hidden laboratory and the monstrous child. When the creature seizes Major Bakersfield, Dom, with Simeon out of action and Billy unconscious, rushes forward and fires his revolver point-blank into its mouth. As he fires he hears the names "Fiona" and "Sam" ring in his head and cries out Sam's name with the final shot, which finally kills it. Afterward he goes back to Bakersfield's house to wash up and drink from the Major's nice glasses. In the epilogue he realizes that after years of wandering alone he has found people he may finally be able to be honest with, and who may help him in his search for the truth.

==Notable quotes==
* "It was like, you know, I had a fair amount of spirits."
* "All pockets from all dead people in the room are being searched by me."
* "Dutch, no way to get ahead in life."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he loses Sanity on seeing the dead light in the hallway, is trapped in the basement when it pours down the stairs, and is pulled out of a window by [[Billy McConnell]]. The light burns his ankle for four points of damage before he dodges a second tendril. He then runs for the truck, looking for a flamethrower the group does not have.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he dodges the dead light, fails, and runs around the far side of the truck, and later gets a hit point back from the Major's first aid. At the cafe he points out that the sack-headed man's wallet held a picture of Mary, and theorizes that the two were connected.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he shows Mary the photograph from the wallet and tries to talk her down with a charm roll. He tackles her to the floor with an extreme success, runs out into the storm for the silver coffer, and brings it in open. He fails his POW roll and is drawn toward the dead light until the Major knocks him down, and once the light is back inside he slams the lid and seals it with wax.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he appears dead in a Spanish uniform in Tallahassee's nightmare. Awake, he laments that the truck holds no flamethrower, and he reminds Tallahassee how many people the dead light might have killed if they had not stopped it.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he goes with Billy to Denny's Tavern, asks Ezra Denny for "possessed waters," and keeps the drinks flowing to old constable Robert Morgan, who repeatedly calls him "baby boy." He worries that no one has seen Mordecai Shep for weeks and suggests checking his shack.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] the Keeper notes that Dom is the sanest of the investigators, which Dom credits to "all the drinking I do." He pushes for a visit to Mordecai Shep's shack, listens at its door, and pockets the roughly $400 and the .38 revolver from the hidden box.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he buys round after round of scotch in Denny's Tavern and slams the campsite photograph down in front of Percival Warthrop to watch his reaction. While Percival keeps watch that night, Dom tells him about his wife Fiona and son Sam, who vanished from their London home 13 years earlier and left a strange symbol burned into the sitting room floor. Percival recognizes the symbol as belonging to the Order of Scorpius and the Devereaux family of witches, who have ties to Salem, and asks whether Fiona's maiden name was Devereaux. Dom refuses Percival's advice to let it go, saying that he is too far down the rabbit hole, and Percival promises to ask his contacts.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he helps try to force open J.G. Faust's tomb and asks Percival Warthrop whether he recognizes the gouges in the stairwell. In the laboratory below, he works out that the "phantom fire" probably smothered itself after the tomb door swung shut, which is why no one could find it.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he admits that he is terrible at research and joins Tallahassee Turner and Major Bakersfield in searching the Russell farm. In the barn's storm cellar, he is frozen briefly in shock by the headless creature, then rushes in and buries his machete in its back as it bites Tallahassee. The blow snaps Tallahassee out of his delusion.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he presses Percival Warthrop with questions about the creature's missing anatomy. He fumbles his search and gets lost on the way to the barn. He suggests that Percival's autopsy reveal where the creature's vital organs are so the group will know where to shoot.

In [[308: Infestation]] he successfully charms Goodman Gray by arguing that neither group benefits from the creatures rampaging across the countryside. His argument leads Gray to propose working together to cull them. He then joins the rush into the sanatorium and the escape that follows.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he prepares more Molotov cocktails from his smuggled booze. He follows Percival Warthrop around the Adams and Kedridge farms and agrees that the attacks are getting more recent closer to town.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he finally gets his hands on a flamethrower, handed over by Goodman Gray's men during the fortification of Denny's.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] one of Goodman Gray's men teaches him the basics of the flamethrower. He then stages a brawl with Percival Warthrop to pin down Gray's driver.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he takes the front door of Denny's with the flamethrower and shares a few swigs of whiskey and some gloomy advice with Robert Morgan.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he scouts the creatures' advance with the flamethrower, then brings down a ten-foot adult creature with three shots from his M1911, taking out both of its eyes before the third shot spills its insides.

In [[314: The Siege]] his flamethrower malfunctions when a creature smashes the barrel, setting Denny's Tavern on fire. He abandons it and wounds a creature with blind shots through the back door as the group retreats upstairs.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he blows up his abandoned flamethrower tank beneath the alpha, then takes control of the creature through its carved runes after recognizing among them the symbol he found when his family disappeared.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] his control over the alpha is broken by an explosion behind Denny's Tavern. He lights the dynamite for the group's last stand and helps finish off the surviving creatures.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he checks the dead man's pockets at the Riverview Apartments and finds a fully loaded, unfired snub-nosed .38 revolver but no ID. He asks whether the wounds could have come from a Freddy Krueger glove and joins the plan to check out the pawn shop.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he breaks open the locked drawers behind the Pawn and Prawns' counter with a brick, fumbling the first try and smashing his own hand, until he finds a fine wristwatch with a black leather band engraved "RG." He wipes down the drawers, takes the brick with him, and takes only that one item so that the shop will look as if it was robbed for a single piece.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he offers Hiram Hopkins, the owner of the Pawn and Prawns, his knowledge of the less respectable people in Arkham in exchange for the full truth about John Johnson. He keeps hold of the stolen watch, saying he is not letting it out of his sight and asking whether anyone has any idea how much booze it could buy. He then goes with the Major to take the watch to Cortex Studios.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he and the Major drive to Cortex Studios, where he suggests that they say they are with the police, which he says is technically true. He charms the owner, Jelty, with a hard success, shows him the watch, and says it was involved in a crime earlier that morning. After Jelty's records name the watch's owner, Dom asks about the Goddard family, John Johnson and the boatmen. On the street, he suggests checking under the car for bombs.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he and the Major drive to Raymond Goddard's house, where he tells the Major he is worried about him and suggests opening with the pawn shop break-in and the missing watch. When the man at the door claims to be Raymond Goddard, he says they are consultants with the police, and a Psychology check shows that the man looks genuinely confused when asked about the watch. After the Major's license check turns up the name Devin Black, Dom presses him to come clean, quietly draws his gun, begs him to tell the truth and asks whether he works for the mayor. He says he suspects he knows who John Johnson is and that Devin could identify him, and the Keeper tells him the octopus dog tag matches the bodies in the tomb.

In [[406: Pain]] he answers the knock at the door of Raymond Goddard's house while the Major carries Devin Black out of sight. He talks to the neighbor, Bryce Gantt, saying that Mr. Goddard has returned from his holiday and wants his new furnishings and that furniture fell on a tender part of the body. A Charm roll gets an extreme success, and he shuts the door on Bryce. He then slaps the Major in the face for torturing Devin and argues with him about it, saying that he will keep both eyes on him and hopes that the Major will stop him if he ever does the same. At Pizza Dragons he says that they will not tell the others about the torture or the tying up, only that they leaned on Devin and that he went pale at the name Goodman Gray. He goes with the Major and Tallahassee to O'Malley's.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with the Major and Tallahassee to O'Malley's cafe, where he tells the barista Sheamus O'Malley that Harman Vance did not demise himself. He says that Harman was killed the same way his dear beloved wife was and that they want to find out more, and the Keeper offers him the Charm roll. He describes Harman's apartment full of radios, locked up with no sign of a break-in, and notes that the place where they found him was not a ground-floor apartment. He asks Sheamus for Harman's address, and the group finds a note signed RG in Harman's jacket and heads for East Water Street.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with the Major and Tallahassee to the house on East Water Street and knocks on the front door with Tallahassee. Inside, he picks up a piece of mail addressed to John Johnson, helps the group find an electric bill for Anna Fairbanks, and searches the living room with the Major. He asks whether the house has been empty for a while and learns that it is dusty, then finds a business card for Ricky Dubois of the Arkham Gazette in the desk. When the runner carpet will not move, he pulls it up with the Major's help and finds that it is glued down over smears of blood. He tells Tallahassee about the blood and glue, then calls Ricky Dubois from the phone on the desk to ask whether he knows Anna Fairbanks, and the phone is ringing when the scene moves on.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he phones Ricky Dubois at the Gazette from the house and, after the receptionist shouts for Ricky, tells him that Anna Fairbanks is in serious trouble. He asks when Ricky last saw her and what she told him, and when Ricky says that her maiden name is Tomaszewski, he answers that her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler. He asks whether the coffee shop where she meant to meet Ricky was O'Malley's, warns him that he may also be in danger and urges him to seek protection, and they agree to meet at O'Malley's at 8 a.m. the next day. He then phones the police to report gunfire and violence at the address, which the Keeper says sends them straight to the house. When the men outside advance, he draws his 1911, warns them that the only river they will be crossing is the river Styx and shoots first, killing the nearest gunman with a roll of 1 for 16 damage. He is shot in the hip for 7 damage, takes a major wound, spends Luck to stay conscious and fires back from the doorway, hitting twice for nine damage. He cannot move well, so the Major carries him to the boat, where the boatman swaddles him in a blanket while he insists that he is fighting like a man.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]

Tallahassee Turner

2026-10-27T15:48:18Z

William Jodeit: Add 409 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Seth Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

[[File:Tallahassee Turner.webp|right|500px]]

An adventurer/author who gained Diamond Skin in [[New Jerusalem]] and a horrifying dog-spider monster named "[[Necronomidog]]" in [[Radio Man]].

Clearly the main character of the story. Often goes dashing face-first into danger (even when it isn't necessary) with awesome results.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is a famous explorer and author living on the same Arkham street as [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]], and the host of the neighbors' gatherings. He is the one who spots the first sign that something is wrong with Corbitt, and the investigators' most reckless member.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
Tallahassee hosts the Sunday evening gathering at his house. When Corbitt drops one of his packages, Tallahassee and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] both see what looks like a human hand, which starts the investigation. When Corbitt discovers his clothes on the lawn, Tallahassee blames ghosts that steal clothing.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
Earlier in the evening he questions the elderly neighbor Mr. Barber about Corbitt and explains the thrown clothes away as "research" for a novel and kleptomania picked up during his travels. During the night surveillance he trips over patio furniture, notices freshly turned soil in the garden and digs up a hard object. He pulls it free as Corbitt's light comes on and throws it over the fence into Simeon's yard, later finding that it is a large, possibly human bone, which costs him a little Sanity.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Tallahassee intercepts the police, spinning up fast talk as a famous author and neighborhood watchman. At the station he blurts out that he found a strange bone, and that [[Major Bakersfield]] broke his camera. The group jokes throughout that he has soiled himself from stress.

===104: Attic Window===
He develops the photograph taken when Bakersfield dropped his camera from Simeon's roof. The blurry image shows a woman's face in the attic window of Corbitt's house, and it triggers [[Dom Druncard|Dom]]'s memories.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Tallahassee arms himself with a pistol, cavalry saber, rope and hatchet and crosses the street with the photograph to confront Corbitt alone. After exchanging rude gestures with Mr. Barber he accuses Corbitt of hiding a woman in the attic, draws his gun and forces his way in, and Corbitt takes control of him with his chanting. Simeon and Bakersfield later find him wandering down the street naked and cracking his whip. Simeon distracts him with a dance, Bakersfield nets him and he is doused with water until he recovers. All he remembers is a shirtless man in suspenders.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
While the others go after Randolph Tomaszewski, Tallahassee stays behind watching Corbitt's house, and is then brought up to date and shown the occult book and the purple vial when the others return to Simeon's house.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
He is one of the three investigators at Simeon's side after Simeon drinks the vial and sees the invisible wounds. He jokes about waking Simeon by urinating on his face, and flirts with Simeon's wife, [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. The next day he joins the discussion of how to deal with Corbitt.

===108: Head of the Beast===
Inside Corbitt's house he searches the kitchen and finds a package that is labeled "Human Head" but turns out to be a joke; the long burlap-wrapped package beside it is only a tree branch. When the head-creature attacks Dom, Tallahassee rips it off Dom's chest and tosses it away. He goes through Corbitt's study, finding botany notes, occult books, a snakeskin-bound tome in an unreadable language and a long run of journals from 1911 to 1925. He reads the journals and finds Corbitt's confessions. At the basement door he pushes Dom aside and draws his .38 to shoot the lock, but Dom picks it first.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
In the basement Tallahassee fires both a .45 and a .38 at the creature, hitting it with some shots and nearly hitting Bakersfield with another. When the creature dies he stabs Corbitt as Corbitt throws himself onto its body. He stays at the scene to get his story straight with Billy before the police arrive. In the epilogue he goes home to write the wildest, most unbelievable, and truest of his adventure books.

==Notable quotes==

* "Alright guys [[Billy McConnell| Billy's]] gone, now's our chance to be bad!"

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he uses a framed picture as a mirror to spy the dead light searching the hallway of Dr. Webb's cottage, then flees with Billy through a bedroom window. Rather than run from the light under the window, he tries to shoot and photograph it, and the flash blinds him; he slips in the mud, which carries him clear of its strike. He then argues that the silver coffer is the way to stop it, runs back into the house to grab it, passes it to the Major, and stops to read more of the black journal.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he spends the fight with the dead light reading Dr. Webb's journal inside the cottage, then runs for the front of the house. Back at the diner he reads aloud a second entry dated March 22nd, 1888, describing the ritual for opening the silver coffer, and concludes that someone must have opened it without the ritual. He later searches the kitchen for Mary and, finding no ice cream, settles for potato chips.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he searches Jake's truck and takes a 12-gauge shotgun, which he names Horace, and threatens Mary with it during the standoff in the gas station office. Mary shoots him in the side for four damage, the first real damage he has taken. With his blood used for the ritual symbol, he reads the chant from the black journal as the dead light squeezes under the door.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he dreams of charging San Juan Hill with Teddy Roosevelt, only to find his friends and Mary among the defenders he has cut down. He wakes in a sweat in Grant Jameson's cabin and claims it is because he is manly. Shaken by Corbitt's warning and by Mary's death, he says he wants to go home and write another book, but after the others talk to him he agrees to go on. He is now indefinitely insane, and the amnesia from his last bout has left him with only a hazy memory of Mary's death. At the ruined campsite he tracks the drag marks and claw prints, fails his Sanity roll, and works out the dead photographer's camera settings so he can develop the film.

Since Mary the Hoebag's death in [[205: Lights Out]], Tallahassee has become increasingly unhinged, and the Keeper often describes impossible things happening to him, such as running into his old ward [[Rondo Corto|Rondo]], or Teddy Roosevelt, in the street. In [[302: The Huggening]] he mistakes a young man on the porch of New Salem's general store for his old friend and ward Rondo, who helped him stalk the Shadow Rider. The young man insists that he has never met Tallahassee, but Tallahassee wraps him in a fighting hug that he cannot escape. The young man is actually [[Ike Watson's Gang|Levi]], and Tallahassee admits he has no idea who he hugged. He fast-talks newsman Jacob Alister into lending him the Shofar's darkroom in exchange for an exclusive interview and photo, and he successfully begins developing the film from the abandoned campsite.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he develops the dead photographer's last two photos in the Shofar's darkroom. As the image of a headless, shark-mouthed creature fades in, he fumbles his reality check with a roll of 100, loses 5 Sanity and is found huddled in a corner, hiding his face. A drink back at the tavern calms him, despite his worry about disappointing his best friend [[Fred Landers]]. At Mordecai Shep's shack he keeps watch from the roof of the truck and insists that the others search for trapdoors, and Billy duly finds one. The letters hidden there reveal that Bernard Corbitt modeled his laboratory's elaborate locking mechanism on Tallahassee's tales, and Tallahassee declares, "I knew he was a fan."

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he answers Percival Warthrop's question about curses with "I see you've read my book," and he promises to write about the Grand Slam if it is any good. He claims that his wife is legally dead after being killed by Vikings. At the cemetery he keeps watch from the roof of the truck, and as the others call for his help with J.G. Faust's tomb, he spots another vehicle creeping up the road, which stops once he is in sight.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he corrects his report of the retreating car: it was a Packard, not a Model T. He notices that the Latin inscription on J.G. Faust's tomb is embossed and can be pressed in. Before going into the tomb he casts Flesh Ward (which the table nicknames "Diamond Skin"), which gives him 35 points of armor, but the cost to his Sanity leaves him seeing a snake idol of Nefertiti, which he charges with his cavalry saber until Dr. Simeon talks him back to reality. While searching the bodies in the hidden laboratory, he finds a strange dog tag reading "Vernon A. D. Bergenberger."

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he rides up front to the Russell farm rather than "waste" his Flesh Ward on library research. At the farm he spots bullet holes and claw-like gouges around the smashed front door and leads the search of the wrecked farmhouse. He pulls the shovel from the barn's storm cellar doors and goes down first. When a headless, shark-mouthed creature charges out, his madness shows him his old friend Rondo Corto running to hug him, and he opens his arms to it. The creature tackles him and bites his shoulder, but his Flesh Ward absorbs the damage, and Dom Druncard's machete strike snaps him back to reality.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he shows off his unmarked shoulder to a skeptical Percival Warthrop, since his Flesh Ward absorbed the creature's bite. He admits that he emptied his revolver into the creature once he realized it was not Rondo. He argues for searching the farm for survivors and helps go through Corbitt's notes. By the time the group leaves for the sanatorium, his Flesh Ward has 31 of its 35 points left and should last until the next morning.

In [[308: Infestation]] he confronts one of Goodman Gray's henchmen outside the Motley Hill Sanatorium. He intimidates the man and draws his .45 when the henchman reaches for a gun, then presses Gray about his organization. When screams break out inside, he runs down the basement stairs to cover Percival Warthrop's escape. On the way out he fumbles an attempt to kick Major Bakersfield's dropped dynamite down the stairs and spends Luck to avoid disaster. He nearly falls toward the creatures before Percival pulls him to safety.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he watches from the back of the truck and reports that the creatures are not pursuing. He admits that he panicked on the sanatorium stairs despite his diamond skin. He then proposes luring the creatures into a tunnel and blowing up both ends.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he plants dynamite with long fuses around the approach to Denny's.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he finishes rigging dynamite around the vehicles in front of Denny's, then hears the creatures coming from the burning west side of town and runs inside to raise the alarm.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he sees two squirrels seem to explode and feels his mind slipping, then finishes his traps and runs the fuses into Denny's so they can be lit from inside.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he lights the fuse on the first booby trap, blowing several creatures to pieces, and later rallies the defenders of Denny's to open fire as the creatures surround the building.

In [[314: The Siege]] he reveals that he hid the dead light outside and releases it with a rope pulled from inside Denny's Tavern, then watches it burn through the creatures. Holding the back door, he shoots one creature and slashes another with his cavalry saber while his Flesh Ward stops a bite.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he fights on at the back door of Denny's Tavern while hallucinating that he is in a cult temple and then in the Satsuma Rebellion. He charges upstairs to defend Ezra Denny and is dragged out a window into the street by a creature.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he grabs a lit stick of dynamite and charges alone into the last pack of creatures behind Denny's Tavern. He walks out of the explosion with shredded clothes, a long cut down his cheek and skin left nearly unmarked by his Flesh Ward.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he describes himself as the "invincible" hero of New Jerusalem, with a new book about to be published, ''The Fall of New Jerusalem''. At the Riverview Apartments the group finds a stack of his adventure books and an empty bottle of caffeine pills near a dead man's chair, and he searches the bedroom, which holds only more radios. He mentions that he has a book signing later that day.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he drives the getaway car for the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns, driving erratically and too fast on his first getaway. After breakfast he goes alone to confront a staring boater outside the diner, asking whether he knows the ferryman. The man hugs him, pins his arms and whispers that the boat man is here and is going to take him, and then cold hands close around Tallahassee's throat and everything goes black.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he is unconscious for almost the entire episode. Ezra Denny says he was wrestling with a hobo outside the diner before Ezra chased the man off. Dr. Simeon's Command spells and smelling salts do nothing for him, and the medical examiner says he looks like the other "boaters," people who are alive but cannot be woken. When Billy's Command succeeds at the end, he is walking a barren landscape under an alien sky and hears the word echo from far away. His reply is "Now I'm good, thanks."

In [[404: Episode IV]] he is in a barren, crystal-strewn world under red lightning, where he loses a point of Sanity, meets Runch and hears first Billy's Command and then Dr. Simeon's from the sky. He casts Sign of Power, a somatic spell, forces a crack in the place open and wakes on the back seat of a car with Runch still haunting him. He tells the others that the hobo outside the diner hugged him, whispered about the ferryman and gave him a cold chill, and that the time he spent there felt like half a day, while the others say it was an hour or two.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he goes with Billy and Dr. Simeon to the Arkham police station, doing finger guns at the detectives and flicking out his trench coat as he walks across the work floor. After a hard success on Spot Hidden he catches a dark figure at the edge of his vision that is gone when he looks again, and tells the others it is not the first time. He sneaks in through a side entrance and offers the records clerk, Sarah Beatrice, an autographed book to help Billy's Persuade, and helps search the records with a hard success on Library Use.

In [[406: Pain]] he is with Billy and Dr. Simeon in the police records room when they find the fingerprint match, and the Keeper sends him and Simeon out through the side door past the records clerk. He arrives at Pizza Dragons with Billy and Simeon, and when the group splits up he goes with Dom and the Major to O'Malley's, while Billy and Dr. Simeon go to the hospital. He has no lines confidently tagged to him this episode.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with Dom and the Major to O'Malley's cafe, where the table's running gag has him throw a Kantstandyerbitz brick through the door before the Keeper has him settle his fedora and step in. He tells the barista Sheamus O'Malley that they only want to ask a few questions about Harman Vance, and Sheamus recognizes him from the paper when he calls himself a famous author-explorer. He gives the pitch about hunting down the killer and rolls Charm with a bonus die, which gets Sheamus to pour shots, and he succeeds on a Psychology roll with the Major to see that Sheamus is telling the truth. Later, Billy recalls that Tallahassee confessed to seeing the shadowy figure at Pizza Dragons, which the Keeper confirms.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with Dom and the Major to the house on East Water Street, suggests splitting up with the Major sneaking around the back, and goes to the front door with Dom, holding his gun down behind his leg. Inside, he keeps watch at the front window, peeking out from the side of the curtain, and gets a hard success on Spot Hidden. He sees two figures on the street, a disheveled man who stops near the yard to fumble with his pockets and another heading for the house, and tells Dom and the Major that he is keeping an eye on a couple of shady characters out front.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he watches the street from the front window and stands by the door while Dom phones Ricky Dubois. The Keeper says a shimmer then runs over his skin, and he tells the others that he was casting a spell and that there are about ten people outside, though the Keeper describes five. When Dom says that this case will take real investigation, Tallahassee says that you can just run into the fray and blow them all up. He steps out the front door, points his gun at the men and tells them to stop, and asks "Montgomery is that you?" as their leader says they are clearing up problems for the ferryman. He fires once at a gunman and misses. His Flesh Ward ("Diamond Skin") takes 4 damage from a knife thrust at his side and 6 more from a bullet in the back, and he shoots the knife man at point blank. He helps Dom hobble toward the back, fires three more shots at a gunman in the doorway, grazing him once, and sprints for the pier. On the boat he meets Captain Carl Runch, tells him to let him know if he ever needs anything and says that the stories in his books are all true.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[314: The Siege]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]

Major Bakersfield

2026-10-27T15:48:12Z

William Jodeit: Add 409 appearance and short bio

Played by: [[Sam Morrison]]

First appeared in: [[Mister Corbitt]]

A veteran ravaged by The Great War. Lost his wife near the end of [[New Jerusalem]] along with one of his eyes. Is not opposed to torturing people.

Owner and proprietor of Guns, Chicks and Ammo.

Really, really likes nice glasses.

In [[Mister Corbitt]] he is introduced as Major Frederick Aloisius Bakersfield, one of the neighbors who gathers at [[Tallahassee Turner]]'s house. He is the investigators' arsenal and muscle, and he carries "Old Reliable", a human-catching net.

==Season 1: Mister Corbitt==
===101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood===
While the neighbors visit [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]], the Major snoops through the front of the house. He independently repeats [[Dom Druncard]]'s idea of throwing a hat out of the guest room window and escalates by throwing out a second hat and a pea coat, adding to the growing pile of outerwear on Corbitt's lawn.

===102: Neighborhood Watch===
He sets up on the roof of [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]]'s house with binoculars and a large period camera. When the light in Corbitt's window comes on he accidentally fires a flash photograph at Corbitt's house, revealing the group's position, then fumbles his stealth roll and slides off the roof into the yard, injuring himself.

===103: Usual Suspects===
Bakersfield and Simeon go back into Corbitt's yard, and when the back door is locked Bakersfield simply kicks it in. They are caught on the staircase by a responding officer and march outside at gunpoint. At the police station he gives the most coherent account of the night: Corbitt arriving with the package, the bone in the garden, and Dom going into the house and never coming out. Tallahassee blames him for breaking his camera.

===104: Attic Window===
He and Simeon research the bone in Simeon's library, then take it to [[Shrimp Puerto Rico|Dr. Puerto Rico]] at Miskatonic University. The photograph from the camera he dropped from the roof shows the face in Corbitt's attic window.

===105: Radical Medicine===
Bakersfield takes Simeon to his army surplus store, where the shopping trip becomes a small private arsenal: revolvers, shotguns, a long gun, rope, first aid gear, a hatchet and dynamite from his personal stash, plus a human-catching net, justified by his "Mr. Nettie Hands" war stories. Back on the road they find Tallahassee wandering naked under Corbitt's influence, and Bakersfield tackles him with the net.

===106: The Miskatonic Mangler===
With [[Billy McConnell|Billy]] and Dom, he tracks Randolph Tomaszewski to Crenshaw and waits in the alley with Old Reliable. When Tomaszewski flees down the fire escape, the Major ambushes him from behind a dumpster, nets him and wrestles him to the ground despite Tomaszewski's switchblade. Tomaszewski is briefly stashed in the car trunk.

===107: Fates and Retribution===
After Simeon drinks the purple vial and collapses, Bakersfield improvises first aid with rags and towels from the kitchen, which stops some of the bleeding, with a further kit from [[Mary BethBethBeth|Mary Beth]]. The next morning, when the group talks of blowing up Corbitt's business, he drily remarks "so now you guys want my involvement". He questions why Simeon drank the vial and judges that Simeon is being genuine. The group arms itself with shotguns, revolvers, dynamite and an elephant gun.

===108: Head of the Beast===
In Corbitt's house, Bakersfield searches the main floor for doors, and runs upstairs when Dom is attacked by the head-creature. He tries to grab it, but is unable to pull it off. He searches the attic with Dom, copies down botany notes mentioning a substance called "soma", and, inspired by the journals' references to the basement, re-searches the lower floor and finds a concealed locked panel beside the stairs.

===109: For Whom the Dice Rolls===
He keeps his cool at the sight of the creature through sheer wartime nerve, blasts large chunks out of it with his shotgun, and is nearly devoured when it grabs him with several arms. He holds its ringed, tooth-lined maw back by jamming his elephant gun sideways across its mouth until Dom kills it. In the epilogue he goes home to wash up, drinks from one of his nice glasses, and takes Dom back to his house; he settles into the certainty that when something is wrong in the world, his job is to make it right.

==Notable quotes==

* "They didn't call me Mister Catchyhands in the war for nothing."
* "They didn't call me The Actor in the war for nothing."
* "They didn't call me Mister Nettyhands in the war for nothing."

In [[203: A Night With No Moon]] he leads the basement group upstairs, slams the door of Dr. Webb's room as the dead light races toward him, then fires into the ceiling and shouts at it to draw it away from Simeon. His shot at the light from the top of the basement stairs has no effect, though it makes the light pause. He later claims his net was blessed by a priest as "the holy net of Antioch", then takes the silver coffer from Tallahassee and runs outside to open it.

In [[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]] he runs at the dead light with the open silver box to scoop it up like a net, but only burns his fingers for two points of damage. He patches up Simeon, Dom and himself with first aid on the drive to the cafe. He later checks the powder room and follows footprints around the back of the building before losing them in the mud, and bandages the wound on Winifred Brewer's head.

In [[205: Lights Out]] he edges along the wall to help Amelia up while Tallahassee distracts Mary, and later handcuffs Mary after she is tackled. He draws the ritual symbol on her forehead in blood and breaks her nose with a punch when she kicks at him. When Dom is entranced by the dead light, he punches him, shoves Mary to the ground and takes the open coffer from him.

In [[301: No Rest for the Wicked]] he leads the group to the cabin of his old army friend Grant Jameson, then reveals that three days earlier he questioned Corbitt at the Arkham Sanatorium. Corbitt told him that others were after his work and that the investigators were far behind, so he insists that they leave for New Jerusalem at once. He needles Tallahassee about running when the going gets tough. After the campsite he fails his Sanity roll and finds his Colt in his hand without remembering drawing it.

In [[302: The Huggening]] he joins Tallahassee at the general store and tries to restrain [[Ike Watson's Gang|Ike Watson]] from behind and whisper a warning in his ear, but he fumbles the grab and Ike shoves him into the porch railing. He introduces himself to Mayor Jedediah Marsh as a Great War veteran and urges the group to stick together after spotting Ike and Levi trailing Tallahassee.

In [[303: The Grand Slam]] he suggests that Ezra Denny call his new all-day breakfast a "grand slam" instead of a "home run," and he becomes the first recipient of a Grand Slam at Denny's. At the Shofar he finds the screaming Tallahassee in the darkroom. After seeing the photos, he points out that the creatures look nothing like the one Corbitt built, orders everyone to stay armed at all times, and calls for "a show of force" at Mordecai Shep's shack. With night falling, he insists that the group sleep in one room for Tallahassee's sake.

In [[304: Pet, Cemetery]] he brings the bottle to the group's table with Percival Warthrop and rouses everyone at 0700 hours. He asks Delilah Bevins whether her missing friend Hannah Russell "may have bought the farm," and at the cemetery he leads the way to the tombs on the north side.

In [[305: The Shining... Skin]] he scoops the burned papers from the hidden laboratory into a sack. Shown the strange dog tag from one of the bodies, he says it is no military tag he has ever seen and suggests that it must belong to some top-secret branch of the military.

In [[306: Cellar Door]] he searches the wrecked Russell farmhouse with Tallahassee Turner and Dom Druncard. In the barn's storm cellar, his loud caw draws out a headless, shark-mouthed creature. After a moment of shock, he runs up with flashbacks to the trenches, jams his shotgun between the creature's eyes and kills it with a point-blank blast.

In [[307: Smooth Criminal]] he comes out of the root cellar covered in the creature's blood and shows the others the kill. He poses for a photograph with his cavalry saber stuck in the carcass. He also confirms, from his study of the spellbooks, that the runes on the fragment are binding runes.

In [[308: Infestation]] he and Billy McConnell are the first to hear men screaming inside the Motley Hill Sanatorium. During the escape his thrown stick of dynamite slips from his hand and lands at the top of the basement stairs. It explodes just as dozens of creatures burst out of the building.

In [[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]] he draws Old Reliable on Mayor Jedediah Marsh and intimidates him into admitting that he was paid to watch Corbitt and help Goodman Gray. He lights a stick of dynamite to press for more, but Gray arrives and silences the mayor first.

In [[310: Salem's Lot]] he reveals that he learned a spell from Corbitt's journals that summons a winged beast to obey a single command. As night approaches, he remembers his friend Grant Jameson, holed up in a cabin an hour north. Bound by his vow to the men under his command, he borrows Percival Warthrop's car and leaves to bring Jameson back.

In [[311: Beefing the Defenses]] he drives north toward Grant Jameson's cabin, passing the Layton Farm without stopping, and casts Summon the Steed of Stars on the way to call the steed Slotty Botfast. He completes the spell, barely, as he reaches the cabin, while screeches and roars approach through the woods.

In [[312: Edge of Sharkness]] he reaches Grant Jameson's cabin and is cut off from his car by the creatures. The two men barricade themselves inside, and Bakersfield kills one creature with a point-blank shotgun blast through the window slats.

In [[313: The Arrival]] he loses his left eye when a dynamite blast blows the windshield of Percival Warthrop's car in on him and Grant Jameson. Half-blinded, he fights off the two remaining creatures at the cabin with his Colt and the car. His summoned steed, Slotty Botfast, crushes the last one and flies both men back toward New Jerusalem.

In [[315: Legends Never Die]] he flies over the burning town on Slotty Botfast, an eye bandaged, and comes down on the south side of Denny's Tavern as the creatures converge on it.

In [[316: The Last Stand]] he rides Slotty Botfast into a creature charging Tallahassee Turner and kills it with both barrels, then leads the group's last stand behind Denny's Tavern and supplies its dynamite. In the episode's closing teaser he returns home to find his wife dead.

In [[401: Static Prevails]] he rides in silence to the Riverview Apartments, now with a patch over his missing eye, and says that he has brought his net. He examines the body of a dead man in an apartment full of radios and finds puncture wounds like those of an ice pick, which he tells Billy McConnell look exactly like the ones on the Major's wife.

In [[402: Criminal Energy]] he joins the break-in at the Pawn and Prawns, searches the shop's ledger and leaves with it. Over breakfast at the diner, the table notes that he is taking his wife's death hard, and the Keeper recalls how he found his wife on the kitchen floor.

In [[403: I Will Steal You Back]] he goes with the others to the Pawn and Prawns, where he draws his 1911 on the shop's owner, Hiram Hopkins, and rolls Intimidate with a bonus die until Hiram admits that he lied about the watch. In the car he wonders whether Mayor Sidel is connected to the "RG" on the watch and suggests finding out who works closely with the mayor. He then goes with Dom to take the watch to Cortex Studios. At the morgue, Dr. Jared Sylvester says that John Johnson's stab wounds look very much like those found on the Major's wife about five weeks earlier.

In [[404: Episode IV]] he and Dom drive to Cortex Studios on West Armitage Street, where a row of nice glasses makes him look away in rage and sadness before his face goes blank again. He says he is not worried about posing as police and is there for answers, and asks the watchmaker Jelty about John Johnson and the "Radio Man," and about the boaters. After Jelty names Raymond Goddard as the watch's owner and gives them his address, the Major says he has heard of the wealthy Goddard family but knows nothing about them. The autopsy report gives his late wife's name as Elizabeth Brown Bakersfield.

In [[405: Be Sensible]] he and Dom drive toward the south side of town to Raymond Goddard's house. When Dom says he is worried about him after the pawn shop, he answers that he has "never been more dialed in," and that it is personal this time but he is ready. At the house he draws his 1911, pushes his way in and takes a wallet showing that the man who opened the door is Devin Black, not Goddard. He kicks Devin's legs out from under him for an extreme success on Brawl, then spends Sanity to cut his neck and stab him in the shoulder, dropping to 35 Sanity, and asks whether Devin's people killed Elizabeth Bakersfield. He finds a switchblade and a dog tag on Devin and says "You work for Goodman Gray," and when Devin starts to struggle he knocks him unconscious.

In [[406: Pain]] he carries the unconscious Devin Black into the hallway and lays him on the stairs while Dom answers the door. Dom then slaps him across the face over how he treated Devin, and the two argue: the Major says that he never meant to murder Devin, only to press him, that Dom's way was not working, and that they have done worse, citing what they did to Mary from the diner. At Pizza Dragons he has a welt across his bad eye. He tells the others that the mayor and Goodman Gray are definitely involved, shows the octopus dog tag that was taken from Devin, and goes with Dom and Tallahassee to O'Malley's.

In [[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]] he goes with Dom and Tallahassee to O'Malley's cafe to question the barista Sheamus O'Malley about Harman Vance. He introduces himself as Aloysius Bakersfield, a retired major, tells Sheamus that he is trying to track down his wife's killer, and says that, as the saying goes, the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He asks whether Harman left the O'Malleys' work by his own choice, succeeds on a Psychology roll to see that Sheamus is nervous because he is telling the truth, and gives Sheamus his card. The group finds a note signed RG in Harman's jacket and heads for East Water Street.

In [[408: In the Same Room]] he goes with Dom and Tallahassee to the house on East Water Street and goes around the back, reminding them how he caught the Miskatonic Mangler. He wheels the trash can to the front, finds the back door unlocked and opens the front door to let the others in. He fails Spot Hidden twice and trips on a runner carpet that will not move, then helps Dom pull it up to find the blood beneath. He follows the streaks of blood out the back door, fails another Spot Hidden roll and loses the trail in the small fenced backyard that leads to the river and a little pier.

In [[409: Pass the Baby]] he comes back in from the backyard as Dom phones the Gazette and gives his name to Ricky Dubois over the line. He touches Tallahassee's shimmering skin and calls it "super stiff diamondy skin." He locks the front door while Dom phones the police and suggests that they head out the back door and down toward the river. When the men outside start toward the house he draws his 1911 to cover Tallahassee from the doorway, then runs out the back to look for a boat. After hearing the gunshots he goes to the pier, sees a man in a little boat on the river and waves and shouts for help until the man turns toward him. He runs back to the house to tell the others they have a boat, scoops up the wounded Dom and carries him to the pier, then turns to cover Tallahassee with his 1911. In the boat he rolls a 70 on First Aid and stabilizes Dom, and afterward teases him as a "baby boy" while Dom protests.

==Appearances==
*[[101: It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood]]
*[[102: Neighborhood Watch]]
*[[103: Usual Suspects]]
*[[104: Attic Window]]
*[[105: Radical Medicine]]
*[[106: The Miskatonic Mangler]]
*[[107: Fates and Retribution]]
*[[108: Head of the Beast]]
*[[109: For Whom the Dice Rolls]]
*[[201: Wrong Place at the Wrong Time]]
*[[202: The Good Doctor]]
*[[203: A Night With No Moon]]
*[[204: Night of the Living Dead Light]]
*[[205: Lights Out]]
*[[301: No Rest for the Wicked]]
*[[302: The Huggening]]
*[[303: The Grand Slam]]
*[[304: Pet, Cemetery]]
*[[305: The Shining... Skin]]
*[[306: Cellar Door]]
*[[307: Smooth Criminal]]
*[[308: Infestation]]
*[[309: Boom Goes the Dynamite]]
*[[310: Salem's Lot]]
*[[311: Beefing the Defenses]]
*[[312: Edge of Sharkness]]
*[[313: The Arrival]]
*[[315: Legends Never Die]]
*[[316: The Last Stand]]
*[[401: Static Prevails]]
*[[402: Criminal Energy]]
*[[403: I Will Steal You Back]]
*[[404: Episode IV]]
*[[405: Be Sensible]]
*[[406: Pain]]
*[[407: Coffee & Cigarettes]]
*[[408: In the Same Room]]
*[[409: Pass the Baby]]

409: Pass the Baby

2026-10-27T15:48:05Z

William Jodeit: New episode page

==Synopsis==
The episode picks up where [[408: In the Same Room]] left off. Back at the house on East Water Street, [[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] watches figures on the darkening street from the window while [[Major Bakersfield]] heads back inside from the backyard. [[Dom Druncard|Dom]] phones the number on Ricky Dubois's business card, and a Gazette receptionist shouts across the office for Ricky, the Arts and Music reporter. Ricky picks up as "Jazzman." Dom tells him that Anna Fairbanks is in serious trouble and asks when he last saw her. Ricky says it was a couple of weeks ago, when she was supposed to meet him but never showed up.

Ricky says Anna told him that her brother had connections that went all the way to the top, and that she even mentioned the mayor, though he cannot recall the name. Fairbanks is a married name, he adds, and her maiden name is Tomaszewski, and Dom answers that her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler. Ricky says she planned to bring photos and papers to prove they were related, but never did. Dom asks whether the coffee shop she picked was O'Malley's, and Ricky says it was. Dom urges Ricky to seek protection or leave town. Ricky says he can take care of himself, being from New Orleans, but that he may leave for a few weeks, and they agree to meet at O'Malley's at 8 a.m. the next day to swap information.

After Dom hangs up, the Keeper says the others notice a strange glinting shimmer run over Tallahassee's skin. Tallahassee says he was casting a spell while Dom was on the phone, and that about ten people are outside. At the window, Dom and the Major see what looks like five people standing still on the sidewalks and across the street, staring at the house. Dom phones the police to report gunfire and violence at the address on East Water Street while the Major locks the front door, and the Keeper points out that Dom has sent the police straight to the house they are standing in. The figures then start moving toward the house. Several carry guns, others knives, and one a club or blackjack.

Tallahassee steps out the front door, points his gun at them and tells them to stop, while Dom and the Major draw their 1911s to cover him from the doorway. The man in front says they are causing problems for the ferryman, who says he can't come if there are problems, so they need to clean up the mess so the ferryman can take them on the river. Tallahassee asks "Montgomery is that you?" Dom tells them that if they take one step closer, the only river they will be crossing is the river Styx, and the Major runs out the back to look for a boat on the river behind the house.

Dom shoots first, firing three shots at the nearest man with a gun. His first roll is a 1, an impale for 16 damage, and the man drops dead in the grass while the other two shots go wide. Tallahassee fires once at the gunman on his left and misses. The Major, hearing the shots, makes his way to the pier and sees no boat there, but an older man in a little one-prop boat with a fishing rod is on the river, and the Major shouts for help until the man turns toward the pier. At the house, a man with a knife fakes a stab at Tallahassee's face and then stabs at his side, but the blade skids off his Flesh Ward ("Diamond Skin"), which takes 4 damage. One gunman fires at Tallahassee and hits the wall of the house. Another shoots Dom in the hip for 7 damage, a major wound, and Dom fails his CON roll but spends Luck to stay conscious, helped by a knock of his head on a bell hanging by the door. Dom fires back from the doorway, hitting that gunman twice for nine damage in all, and the man drops to one knee but stays conscious. Tallahassee shoots the knife man at point blank and kills him.

The Major runs back and shouts that they have a boat, but Dom says he cannot move, and the Major tells Tallahassee to carry him. As gunfire comes through the windows, Tallahassee helps Dom toward the kitchen and takes a bullet in the back that costs his Flesh Ward 6 more points. The Major scoops Dom up and carries him to the pier, where a small boat is waiting, while Tallahassee fires three more shots at the gunman in the doorway, hits once for 3 damage and sprints out the back as the rest of the men burst through the front. Dom and the Major cover him from the pier. The boatman takes Dom from the Major's arms, lays him in the boat and swaddles him in a blanket despite his protests. Once Tallahassee is aboard, the boatman guns the engine. Three men run down to the dock behind them as police lights flash, and the boat speeds west along the river. The Major rolls a 70 on First Aid and stabilizes Dom.

The boatman is an older man with a graying beard, a newsboy cap and a blue pea coat. He greets Tallahassee by name, says they got into quite a dust-up back there, and introduces himself as [[Captain Runch|Captain Carl Runch]]. The Keeper says this is how Tallahassee and Captain Runch first met. Tallahassee tells Carl to let him know if he ever needs anything and insists that the stories in his books are all true. As the boat speeds off in the dark, the Keeper says a sinister weight has fallen over Arkham, with the clues leading to more and more bodies, and that they think they know who is causing it all.

==Funny Moments==

* When Dom asks for Ricky Dubois, the Gazette receptionist shouts "Get over here Dubois!" and Ricky answers with "Yeah, this is Jazzman."
* The Major asks "Is that shirt made of diamonds?" Tallahassee answers "No that's my skin," and the Major touches it and says "This is some super stiff diamondy skin."
* Dom tells Tallahassee "you can't just diamond skin your way out of everything." Tallahassee answers "Sure you can" and adds "You can just run into the fray and blow them all up."
* Asked why he did not mention the people outside earlier, Tallahassee says "I was casting a spell bro," and points out "You were on the phone."
* After Dom phones the police, the Keeper tells him that if he meant not to send them to their own location, "that is you failed." Dom answers "I did intend to send the police directly."
* Tallahassee, on going down in a blaze of glory, says "I've tried like sixteen times already I've lived through everything."
* The Major asks "Can I pull out my whistle?" to "summon slotty while I'm running down to the boat," a nod to his steed Slotty Botfast.
* Dom says "We had our guns readied. So that our cool lines could be even cooler."
* Tallahassee misses his shot and says "That's a warning shot."
* The Major jokes about hooting and shooting his gun in the air, then says "Just kidding, I start waving my hands in the air," and "Then I moon him." The Keeper says the moonlight glints off "your reflective rear end."
* When a bullet cracks into the wall beside him, Tallahassee says "I wink at him and blow him a kiss."
* Dom says "I might die, guys." The Keeper tells him "Hide your head," and Dom answers "I hide my head."
* The Keeper says Dom leans into the house and "hit your head on a little bell" that dings, just enough of a shock to keep him from blacking out.
* The Keeper says "You hear the chime as it grazes his nipple ring."
* The boatman cradles Dom "lovingly" and swaddles him in a blanket. Dom protests "I am not cradled on the boat like a baby" and "I am fighting like a man," and the Keeper says that in his mind Dom is blasting guys left and right in "this delirious pain fantasy." Dom says "I hate this game."
* The Major tells Dom "I got a little beaky here for you." Dom says "I am a bloody hero and I'm being treated like a baby," and the Major answers "so you're a baby boy."
* Tallahassee tells the captain "I've definitely spiced my books up a little bit," then insists "they're all true."

==Notable Quotes==

* "Anna Fairbanks is in serious trouble. She needs your help." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "he had connections that went all the way to the top" —Ricky Dubois
* "Her maiden name is Tomaszewski." —Ricky Dubois
* "Oh, her brother is the Miskatonic Mangler." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "I know how to take care of myself" —Ricky Dubois
* "at O'Malley's tomorrow at 8am" —Ricky Dubois
* "This is Tallahassee Turner you're dealing with." —[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]
* "You're causing problems for the ferryman." —the leader of the men outside
* "Clean up the problems so the ferryman can take us on the river." —the leader of the men outside
* "Montgomery is that you?" —[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]
* "the only river you're going to be crossing is the river Styx." —[[Dom Druncard]]
* "Hey, help! Over here! Over here, we need help!" —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "Tallahassee carry him, he's been shot!" —[[Major Bakersfield]]
* "good to meet you, names Carl" —[[Captain Runch|Captain Carl Runch]]
* "is how Tallahassee and Captain Runch first met" —the Keeper