107: Fates and Retribution

Synopsis

The episode opens immediately after Dr. Simeon Kantstandyerbitz drinks the mysterious purple liquid recovered from the Miskatonic Mangler. While the investigators (Dom Druncard, Tallahassee Turner and Major Bakersfield) watch in horror, Simeon collapses and begins suffering violent supernatural wounds: invisible spikes tear into his body as if he is being attacked somewhere else. Blood erupts from multiple puncture wounds, and his shoulder dislocates as the group frantically attempts first aid.

Meanwhile, Simeon experiences a vivid vision of an alien landscape filled with strange crystalline formations. There he is attacked by a monstrous spider-like creature whose stabbing limbs correspond exactly to the wounds appearing on his body back in the real world. After desperately stabbing the creature in the eye and attempting to escape, Simeon is suddenly pulled back into his body moments before the creature delivers a fatal strike.

Back in his kitchen, the group manages to stabilize him while his wife Mary Beth-Beth-Beth rushes in to find her husband lying in a pool of blood surrounded by suspicious-looking friends. Once revived, Simeon explains that the potion transported him to another world where the injuries he received there manifested physically on his body. Despite the bizarre story, the group is too exhausted and shaken to pursue Corbitt immediately, and Simeon is taken to the hospital for treatment.

Doctors confirm that Simeon has suffered a separated shoulder and several stab wounds. After treatment and a night’s rest, the investigators regroup the next morning at Simeon’s house.

Officer Billy McConnell arrives with new information from the police investigation into Randolph Tomaszewski, the “Miskatonic Mangler.” Shafsky has become completely incoherent in custody, ranting about “the Master.” Police recovered several items from him, including a switchblade, a purple vial similar to Simeon’s, and a severed finger bearing a wedding ring engraved “T & L Forever.” Although the police are attempting to obtain a warrant to search Bernard Corbitt’s home, Corbitt’s status as a respected businessman has made this difficult.

The group calls Dr. Javier Gutierrez at Miskatonic University (whom some of the investigators persist in referring to as “Shrimp Puerto Rico,” much to his annoyance). Gutierrez reports disturbing findings about the mutated arm bone the investigators previously gave him: the bone appears to have supported three additional limbs branching from it, a biological impossibility that suggests unnatural experimentation or mutation. He agrees to examine the purple vial as well if it is delivered to him.

During the discussion, Simeon reveals the traumatic event that has driven his obsession with supernatural phenomena: years earlier he witnessed his younger brother vanish into a mirror during a strange flash of purplish light. Since then, Simeon has devoted himself to uncovering the truth behind the impossible.

As the investigators debate their next move against Corbitt, their plans spiral into increasingly reckless ideas—including poisoning Corbitt with the purple potion or simply blowing up his warehouse with dynamite. Mary Beth-Beth-Beth, after initially demanding answers, becomes unexpectedly enthusiastic once the full story is explained to her and even suggests helping with their plans.

Ultimately the group settles on a more strategic approach. Officer Billy McConnell will drive to Corbitt’s business at the docks and begin asking questions as a police officer, hoping to lure Corbitt away from his house. Meanwhile the rest of the investigators will break into Corbitt’s home once he leaves, searching for evidence of his occult activities. Mary Beth-Beth-Beth volunteers to distract the suspicious barber next door so he won’t notice their activities.

As the group arms themselves with an alarming assortment of weapons—including shotguns, revolvers, dynamite, and even an elephant gun—they prepare to execute their plan. Just as they finish their preparations, they hear the neighboring door slam and the sound of a car starting up and driving away, suggesting that Bernard Corbitt may finally be leaving his house.

The investigators ready themselves to move.

Transcript

00:00: Narrator: [Music] Welcome to the Arkham Files, an actual-play Call of Cthulhu RPG podcast featuring Seth Morrison as Tallahassee Turner.
00:33: Narrator: Peter Morrison as Dominic John Druncard.
00:46: Narrator: Donovan Ballard as Dr. Simeon Cantstandya.
00:52: Narrator: Sam Morrison as Major Frederick Aloysius Bakersfield.
01:02: Narrator: Abel Morrison as Officer Billie McConnell.
01:10: Narrator: And I’m your Game Master, the Keeper of Arcane Lore, Alex Morrison. Now grab some dice and your sanity. Let’s roll.
01:30: GM: Simeon, you’re running for all you’re worth. You can feel the rocks and strange crystalline shards of this blasted alien landscape cutting into your bare feet, but you don’t slow down.
01:38: GM: Blood is dripping down your body from multiple large puncture wounds. You’re getting dizzy and your extremities are starting to go numb.
01:49: GM: You think your left shoulder is dislocated, but you can’t slow down.
01:56: GM: You’re not really sure what drove you to drink that vial. You just had to know.
02:04: GM: You’ve hit so many dead ends in your search, and usually those dead ends took the form of a person. A person with another smug, stupid, smiling face like Bernard Corbitt.
02:14: GM: If they would but open their mouths then all the truths you sought would come pouring out, but they just sit there—mute and smirking like stone guardians standing watch over the tree of accursed knowledge.
02:28: GM: You always said you’d be willing to do anything, go anywhere to discover the truth. But nothing could have prepared you for this.
02:34: GM: Ever since you watched your brother disappear through that mirror all those years ago, you’ve known there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
02:42: GM: But who could have imagined this? Who could have imagined that “through the looking glass” could mean the other side of the galaxy?
02:51: GM: Just now you notice the sharp clicking cadence that had been gaining behind you has vanished.
02:59: GM: Dom Druncard, Tallahassee Turner, and Major Bakersfield—twenty-one and a half minutes ago, before any of you could stop him, Dr. Simeon Cantstandya pulled the stopper out of the strange vial and drank the contents.
03:10: GM: You all stood there in shocked silence before Simeon collapsed to the ground unconscious.
03:21: GM: Since then you’ve been gathered around him watching him lie quiet and still, his eyes flitting beneath his eyelids as if examining something none of you can imagine.
03:32: GM: Everything was calm, and you were beginning to wonder how long it would stay that way.
03:35: GM: Then Dr. Simeon let out an ear-piercing shriek and blood exploded from his chest, jagged puncture wounds ripping through his body like he’d been stabbed repeatedly by an invisible dagger.
03:46: GM: He began thrashing violently, his left shoulder dislocating as he screamed.
03:53: GM: Suddenly the thrashing stopped and he began breathing heavily, like a man running a marathon. Blood poured from his wounds.
04:03: GM: I would like the three of you to make a sanity check.
04:14: Player: Uh oh.
04:17: GM: What did you guys get?
04:25: Player: I got a 78. My sanity is 47.
04:29: Player: I’m going to use 30 luck.
04:31: Players: [laughter]
04:34: GM: Alright, you’ll still lose 1d4 sanity.
04:39: Player: I rolled an 82 out of 49.
04:41: GM: Lose a d4.
04:42: GM: Dom?
04:44: Dom: I rolled a 5.
04:46: GM: Excellent. You only lose one sanity point.
04:52: Player: I rolled a three.
04:55: GM: You just saw invisible wounds explode out of your friend and blood spraying everywhere after he drank some strange liquid.
05:04: Player: I rolled a four. I’ve seen worse.
05:18: GM: Okay, how much sanity did everyone lose?
05:23: Player: I lost three.
05:30: Player: I lost two.
05:34: GM: Dr. Cantstandya is on the ground with blood flowing out of several wounds. What do you do?
05:43: Bakersfield: I’m going to administer first aid.
05:45: Tallahassee: I’m going to pee on his face.
05:49: Dom: Tallahassee, that’s not going to help.
05:52: Tallahassee: It’ll wake him up.
05:54: Dom: Put it away. Keep your pants on.
06:02: Bakersfield: I’m going to try first aid.
06:03: GM: Roll it.
06:08: Player: I rolled a 22 out of 70.
06:22: GM: That’s a hard success. Check your skill box.
06:27: GM: Thinking quickly, Major Bakersfield grabs rags and towels from the kitchen and begins binding Simeon’s wounds.
06:37: GM: Simeon regains one hit point.
07:08: GM: As you’re doing this, the rest of you hover around in shock.
07:22: GM: You hear a woman scream from behind you.
07:26: Mary Beth: What’s going on? Simeon! What happened? What did you do to him?
07:34: GM: You turn to see Dr. Simeon’s wife, Mary Beth-Beth-Beth, entering the kitchen.
07:44: GM: Her face has gone completely pale as she sees her husband lying on the floor in a pool of blood.
08:04: Mary Beth: What happened?
08:10: Tallahassee: I think he’s dying, but if he does, are you available?
08:15: Players: [laughter]
08:33: Tallahassee: It’s not as bad as it looks.
08:41: Bakersfield: He’s going to be alright.
08:46: Mary Beth: Let me get the first aid kit.
08:52: GM: She grabs a small tin case with a red cross and hands it to Bakersfield.
09:01: GM: Inside are bandages and disinfectant. You’re able to slow the bleeding further.
09:21: GM: Simeon continues breathing heavily as if running.
09:48: GM: Mary Beth stands nearby, whimpering softly.
09:57: GM: Simeon—back in the alien world—the creature leaps toward you, its claw aiming for your eye.
10:08: GM: At exactly twenty-two minutes and five seconds after Simeon drank the vial, his body suddenly goes still.
10:32: GM: Then he takes a huge breath and his eyes shoot open.
10:42: Simeon: Where am I?
10:45: Player: He’s possessed!
10:49: Player: Get the priest!
10:54: GM: Simeon, you are suddenly back in your house.
10:59: GM: You are lying on the kitchen floor surrounded by your companions. Mary Beth stands behind them, pale as a sheet.
11:07: GM: There is blood everywhere.
11:12: Simeon: Oh my shoulder hurts so much.
11:26: Simeon: Tallahassee… did I hear you make a pass at my wife?
11:28: Tallahassee: Dude, I did.
11:30: Tallahassee: I mean… have you seen her?
11:37: Simeon: Mary Beth, I love you. But your appearance is a 20.
11:45: GM: Mary Beth kneels beside you and begins checking your face and arms.
11:59: Mary Beth: Simeon, are you okay? What happened?
12:02: Simeon: No, I’m clearly not okay.
12:11: Mary Beth: Were you attacked?
12:16: Simeon: Not exactly.
12:21: Mary Beth: What is going on?
12:27: Simeon: I’m going to be honest with you, honey.
12:34: Simeon: Mr. Bakersfield dared me to drink the potion.
12:39: Players: [laughter]
12:40: Simeon: Okay, it was Dom.
12:48: Simeon: Fine. I drank it myself.
12:54: Mary Beth: What potion?
13:07: Bakersfield: We apprehended the Miskatonic Mangler. We found a glowing purple liquid in a murder trophy box and brought it back.
13:25: Mary Beth: Why would you drink that?
13:30: Simeon: For science.
13:40: Players: [laughter]
13:44: Player: Can we first aid him again?
13:48: GM: First aid only works once per injury. You could attempt a medicine roll.
14:05: Simeon: Can I do medicine on myself?
14:11: GM: I’ll allow it.
14:26: Simeon: I rolled a 26 on medicine.
14:32: GM: You can tell your shoulder is badly injured, but you can’t quite figure out how to treat it properly.
14:57: Dom: What actually happened?
15:07: Simeon: I drank the potion and suddenly I was in another world.
15:18: Simeon: There were crystals everywhere. I peed on them and colors came out I’ve never seen before.
15:27: Simeon: Then a giant spider with razor claws attacked me.
15:41: GM: Every injury you took there appeared on your body here.
16:37: Mary Beth: Simeon, I think we should take you to the hospital.
16:41: Simeon: That’s a good idea.
17:03: GM: Simeon, you are in very bad shape.
17:06: GM: The rest of you have been awake almost two days straight and are severely exhausted.
17:19: Player: Maybe we should get Simeon to the hospital and get some rest.
17:44: GM: Mary Beth helps Simeon to his feet and drives him to the hospital.
18:52: Player: I’m just going to shoot Corbitt in the face tomorrow and be done with it.
19:05: Player: Don’t forget Old Reliable.
19:09: Player: Let’s meet up tomorrow at 0700.
19:44: GM: Simeon, you arrive at the hospital and give them some ridiculous explanation for your stab wounds and dislocated shoulder.
20:05: Simeon: One thing led to another, bada-boom, I got stab wounds.
20:16: Simeon: As a psychologist I deal with disturbed people. One of them was naked in the street with a bullwhip and a knife and things got out of hand.
20:34: GM: Alright. Let’s go to the club now.
20:37: GM: They take you in and start patching you up.
20:40: GM: They reinsert your shoulder into the socket, which hurts.
20:48: GM: You find out your shoulder isn’t just dislocated — it’s actually been separated.
20:55: GM: So your left arm is going to be in a sling for a while.
21:05: Player: What’s “a while” like?
21:07: GM: A good six-week recovery.
21:14: GM: You get some solid medical attention.
21:19: GM: I’m going to roll a Medicine check for the doctor.
21:36: Players: [joking]
21:40: GM: Yep, you are dead. Super dead.
21:47: Player: Don’t you peep on dice rolls.
21:50: GM: Alright, let’s see if Simeon dies.
21:52: GM: Yeah, he’s dead.
21:58: Player: At least Mary Beth-Beth-Beth leaves as a rich, rich woman.
22:07: GM: Okay, success. You’re actually going to heal another 3 hit points.
22:19: Simeon: Nice!
22:21: GM: Which is pretty solid, but you still have a major wound.
22:27: Simeon: That’s bushwa.
22:32: GM: Keep that major wound box checked on your character sheet.
22:36: GM: Your major wound is your separated shoulder.
22:41: GM: At the end of every week, you’re going to make a Constitution roll to see if it starts recovering.
22:58: GM: For now, your left arm is pretty much useless.
23:02: GM: They get you patched up and send you home.
23:08: GM: You guys are able to head back home and get some rest.
23:10: GM: Major Bakersfield, for getting a solid night’s sleep, recover 1 hit point.
23:14: Bakersfield: Alright. Nice.
23:16: GM: Tallahassee and Dom, you guys haven’t taken any damage.
23:19: Player: I took one.
23:21: GM: Okay, yeah, you can heal 1 hit point.
23:27: Player: What about sanity?
23:28: Player: You don’t heal sanity points.
23:30: Player: No, no, no.
23:31: Player: Get some good rest.
23:32: Player: It’s sleepology.
23:33: GM: Tallahassee, you’re still at max hit points.
23:35: Tallahassee: Yeah, I’m alright. I’m tough.
23:37: Tallahassee: Also very lucky that Mr. Corbitt did not murder me.
23:41: GM: Yeah.
23:42: GM: Okay, so you guys manage to get a night’s worth of rest.
23:47: GM: Billy McConnell, you were at the police station pretty late into the night.
23:52: GM: You do still manage to get home and get a decent night’s sleep.
24:02: GM: Alright, so it’s the next morning. Tuesday morning.
24:12: GM: Billy, you’re in the car heading back over to that cul-de-sac where all those nutjobs live.
24:19: Player: That’s us.
24:21: GM: Mm-hmm.
24:23: GM: Like I said, you were at the police station pretty late before you finally got home.
24:30: GM: Ever since Thomas Shafsky snapped and started rambling about the Master and how he’s coming, he hasn’t stopped.
24:39: GM: It’s been hard to get anything useful out of him.
24:42: GM: They got one or two things about the murders, but nothing about Corbitt.
24:46: GM: The police gathered evidence from his apartment, so they’re sure they have the right guy.
24:50: GM: But they don’t know if they’ll ever get anything out of Thomas Shafsky himself.
24:54: GM: He seems to have gone completely off the deep end.
25:01: GM: From the information you gave them, they’re trying to get a warrant on Corbitt to bring him in or search his house.
25:06: GM: But they’re having a hard time getting a judge to sign off on it since he’s a well-respected businessman in town.
25:09: GM: And now it’s all based on the word of one beat cop talking to a crazy man.
25:14: Player: Rookie beat cop.
25:16: GM: No.
25:18: GM: Your captain came up to you late that night and said:
25:24: Captain: Alright, McConnell, good work.
25:27: Captain: There’s gonna be a promotion in this for you. Maybe even a detective’s badge.
25:33: Captain: You got a dangerous maniac off the street, and we got him dead to rights.
25:37: Captain: So take tomorrow off and get some rest. You look like you haven’t slept in a week.
25:44: Billy: Thanks, Chief. That’s good. I think I’ll do that.
25:51: GM: On Thomas Shafsky’s person, you found a switchblade, a small glass vial containing a purple liquid, and a desiccated human finger with a wedding band on it.
26:05: GM: The inscription inside the ring says, “T&L forever.”
26:12: GM: What did you do with those things?
26:28: Billy: Turned the rest into evidence. Probably kept the vial.
26:32: GM: Okay.
26:34: GM: As you’re driving over to that faded cul-de-sac, you actually feel the presence of the vial in your pocket.
26:38: GM: Almost like it’s digging into your leg.
26:45: Player: Pull it out and drink it.
26:48: Players: [laughter]
26:51: Player: Just kidding. I don’t really hear that.
26:53: GM: Flash forward: you guys all find a police squad car wrapped around a telephone pole.
27:00: GM: Billy McConnell is hanging through the windshield, covered in puncture wounds, and his face has been eaten off.
27:15: GM: It’s Tuesday morning. You four are all sitting around Dr. Simeon’s table.
27:21: GM: Mary Beth-Beth-Beth is also standing behind you, leaning against the counter.
27:28: GM: Waiting for explanations on what happened and what’s going on.
27:31: GM: You guys hear a knock at the door.
27:37: GM: Mary Beth-Beth-Beth wanders over, opens it, and comes back a moment later leading Billy McConnell behind her.
27:41: Player: Hey, Billy.
27:45: GM: Welcome to my house again, Billy.
27:49: GM: Dr. Simeon seems to be in much worse shape than the last time you saw him.
27:57: Billy: What happened? Where’s the psychiatrist I know?
28:02: Simeon: Oh, you know I did. As a psychologist, I repeat the story to you perfectly.
28:08: Billy: What the hell happened? Tell it again.
28:13: GM: Dr. Simeon relates the events of the night before, with the others backing him up from what they witnessed on their end.
28:23: Billy: I pull the vial out of my pocket and ask him:
28:31: Billy: This is what he drank?
28:36: Simeon: Oh yeah, that’s it. Can I see it real quick?
28:42: Player: Don’t do it, doctor.
28:49: Simeon: Just kidding. I don’t want that. I’m never going there again.
28:54: GM: From looking at Billy’s vial, it appears to be the same liquid you found before.
29:00: Player: Let’s get it analyzed this time.
29:02: Player: Quick — call Doctor Shrimp Puerto Rico.
29:08: Player: Yeah, let’s call Shrimp Puerto Rico.
29:16: Player: Hold on, I’m calling Shrimp Puerto Rico right now.
29:21: GM: So you guys are all gathered around the table calling Shrimp Puerto Rico.
29:27: GM: You’re going to call him to see if he can analyze your vial of liquid, or at least give you some answers.
29:36: Players: Yes.
29:39: Player: Yes, connect me to Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico at Miskatonic University, please.
30:01: Javier: Hello, this is Javier.
30:03: Player: How are you doing, Mister What’s-It?
30:12: Player: Yeah, but you’re Agent Doctor.
30:14: Player: Doctor Good Hair.
30:17: Player: How can I speak to Doctor Shrimp Puerto Rico, please?
30:22: Javier: This is he.
30:24: Javier: I do know my name is actually Javier Gutierrez.
30:29: Javier: You just call me “Shrimp Puerto Rico” because of my somewhat diminutive size and because you are apparently super racist.
30:37: Simeon: Well, I didn’t name you. Talk to your parents.

30:43: Simeon: It hasn’t said “call it.” As a psychologist, let’s talk about your parents for a second.
30:46: Simeon: Well, you know, skip that. Anyways, look—
30:51: Javier: I assume you are calling about the bone which you left in my keeping.
30:56: Player: Yes. Have you found out anything else about it?
31:01: Javier: I’ve had some time to look over it and analyze it to a degree.
31:06: Javier: As I said before, it is most likely a human humerus bone, an arm bone.
31:21: Javier: But there are so many mutations with this, it is almost impossible to discern what has happened to it.
31:28: Javier: It looks as if—
31:31: Javier: And from the question you asked me before, could someone survive like this?
31:37: Javier: It essentially looks as if there were several other limbs or arms attached to this bone.
31:44: Player: How many limbs?
31:45: Javier: Three.
31:48: Player: Holy moly.
31:50: Javier: So if someone could survive to adulthood with one arm coming from their shoulder and then three more arms coming from that arm, then this would be a very remarkable person.
32:02: Player: Yeah, I can’t even tell.
32:05: Player: Maybe a healthy Tallahassee.
32:07: Javier: I can’t see how this could happen naturally.
32:12: Javier: This is an adult male arm bone.
32:15: Javier: How someone could grow to adulthood like this, I have no idea.
32:19: Javier: But if this was done artificially, the means behind it are beyond anything I can understand.
32:27: Player: Well, I think the evidence is clear that you did your best, Mr. Puerto Rico—
32:32: Player: Doctor Puerto Rico.
32:33: Player: Now we’ve got another question for you. We’ve got this purple vial that I drank.
32:37: Javier: Yes, what can I do for you?
32:40: Simeon: I’m wondering if you can analyze its origins.
32:45: Javier: Possibly. I am a medical doctor and an anatomist, not necessarily a chemist.
32:53: Javier: I suppose I could take a look at it for you.
32:57: Player: Do you know any chemists?
33:00: Javier: There are several here at the university.
33:03: Simeon: Oh, well, I’m going to send my wife, Mary Beth-Beth-Beth, with the vial to your office.
33:10: Simeon: I would like you to get your colleagues to analyze this as soon as possible.
33:15: Simeon: Lives are at stake.
33:18: Javier: Well, okay. Yes, I will keep an eye out for her.
33:22: Javier: If it is in any way as interesting as this specimen you sent me, then I shall await it.
33:27: Simeon: Well, believe me, you won’t miss her. She’s a big woman.
33:33: Simeon: You know, my papa always taught me you want a big woman: shade in the summer, warm in the winter.
33:40: Simeon: And I tell you, she hasn’t let me down. Not a single bit.
33:45: Simeon: But no, not about our personal life. You won’t miss her, I promise.
33:50: Player: Better tell him not to drink it or anything.
33:55: Simeon: Yeah, don’t drink it. I drank it. I was half-seas over my friend—
34:13: Simeon: I just call how I see it, Mr. Dr. Shrimp.
34:16: Simeon: There we go. Anyways—
34:22: Player: You can’t miss her. You might miss the vial, but you won’t miss her.
34:26: Players: [laughter]
34:28: Player: Hello?
34:29: Players: [laughter]
34:31: Player: Oh yeah, Tuesday at seven, we’ll be fine for dinner.
34:33: Player: Now he’s hung up.
34:34: Player: I know, I’m just pretending to be you. Keep the conversation going.
34:40: Player: Oh yeah, I am attractive. Thank you for saying that, Mr. Puerto Rico.
34:43: Player: Bye.
34:45: Player: I hung up on him, obviously.
34:48: GM: Okay, so you guys are here. You’re all around the table.
34:53: GM: You have information. You have some clues.
34:57: GM: What are you going to do?
35:01: Simeon: I got an idea. You guys want to hear it?
35:02: Player: No.
35:03: Player: It’s your idea.
35:05: Player: Let me guess.
35:06: Player: Let me guess — this involves drinking purple?
35:09: Simeon: It does have to deal with the—
35:11: Player: No, we already gave it away.
35:14: Simeon: I have an idea.
35:15: Player: She hasn’t left yet.
35:17: Simeon: Okay, wait.
35:18: Simeon: Mary Beth-Beth-Beth.
35:18: GM: Mary Beth-Beth-Beth is standing there with the vial in her hand, arms crossed.
35:24: Simeon: Yeah, she can’t move very fast anyway, but can I have that vial, sweetie? I need this.
35:29: Simeon: I say we get Mr. Corbitt to drink this.
35:36: Player: What do you mean, like have him over for tea and crumpets and say, “Hey, drink this tea that’s bright purple?”
35:45: Player: Yeah, because he’s gonna come over to our house.
35:47: Player: We’re gonna bury the hatchet or something?
35:50: Simeon: This is what we’re gonna do.
35:51: Simeon: What I would think we would like to do, as a psychologist, this is what I would do.
35:56: Simeon: One of us goes through the back door.
35:59: Simeon: A couple of us go through the front door.
36:03: Simeon: While we distract him from the front door, one of us breaks in, stealthily sneaks up behind him—
36:08: Simeon: —and before he can go off on all his gibberish, making us all naked—
36:13: Simeon: —hit him on the head, force the cooldown stuff down his throat, and let the spider have its way with him.
36:19: Simeon: Anybody opposed?
36:22: Player: Anybody have better ideas?
36:24: Player: That’s not a bad idea actually, but that’s coming from Tallahassee, so not saying much.
36:28: Player: So are you speaking in the third person now?
36:33: Simeon: Yes, because I write books also in the third person sometimes.
36:38: Player: Gotcha.
36:49: Bakersfield: What exactly made you want to drink that vial in the first place?
36:53: Simeon: It was late.
36:55: Player: It’s thirsty.
36:56: Simeon: No, not thirsty. I have a problem.
36:57: Simeon: No, for science purposes, obviously.
37:07: GM: Major Bakersfield, make a Psychology roll.
37:17: Bakersfield: 43 out of 40.
37:21: GM: Okay.
37:27: GM: Dr. Simeon seems like he’s being genuine.
37:33: GM: Apparently he is obsessed with the cause of science and exploring whatever avenues he can to learn more about the natural world.
37:39: Simeon: I am not lying.
37:42: GM: Dr. Simeon, this could be an opportunity for you to tell your friends a little bit more about yourself.
37:53: GM: About what it is in your past that drives you.
38:04: Simeon: Alright guys, let me be straight with you. As a psychologist, I’m straight with people.
38:12: Simeon: So my younger brother was thirteen at the time.
38:18: Simeon: He was going through some rough times and he was staring in the mirror quite often, flexing his guns, his pythons, his arms.
38:29: Simeon: And one time, while he was trying to build his confidence, I saw this big grayish-purplish bright light flash from the mirror and he got sucked right into it.
38:38: Simeon: We haven’t seen him since.
38:40: Simeon: So I’m always looking for something on the mythical level to find out what happened to my brother.
38:46: Player: Are you meaning to tell us that your brother got sucked into a mirror?
38:51: Simeon: That’s what I said.
38:54: Player: That sounds made up.
39:00: Players: [laughter]
39:04: GM: Dr. Simeon, make a Psychology roll.
39:15: Simeon: 13 out of 75.
39:20: GM: Oh jeez.
39:23: GM: You’ve got Dom dead to rights.
39:26: GM: He believes you and is trying to deflect.
39:31: Dom: That’s not true. As a psychologist, you’re a liar.
39:35: Simeon: Seems like you’re starting to sweat a little bit there, Dominic.
39:49: Player: So, Dr. Simeon, like for real though—
39:50: Player: I mean, everyone is known to stretch the truth a little bit, maybe for a story or a book or entertainment purposes.
39:57: Player: Do you really expect us to believe that your brother—
40:02: Simeon: I don’t expect you guys to believe anything.
40:04: Simeon: This is what happened, and I’m just telling you what I saw.
40:08: GM: For the rest of you, this is probably not a story you would normally believe.
40:15: GM: But after the events of the last couple of days, the things you’ve seen, and what happened to Dr. Simeon last night, you are feeling a little more open-minded than you would have before.
40:37: Player: Okay, well that’s a fun story and all, but what does that have to do with anything?
40:41: Simeon: And that’s why I drank the vial.
40:45: Player: So what did Bakersfield ask that question for?
40:52: Player: Well, Dom was saying what he’s saying is correct.
41:01: Player: If you remember what I was telling you yesterday, the Miskatonic Mangler told us he got those liquids from Corbitt that would show him, and I’m using air quotes now, “the Master.”
41:17: Player: And then you got transported—transfaulted—whatever. You heard me.
41:32: Player: What Dom was saying is correct.
41:37: Player: Thomas Shafsky did say he actually got that vial from Mr. Corbitt.
41:43: Player: So handing Corbitt the spider juice might not be the best plan, is what I’m wondering.
41:52: Player: We can always try to get Corbitt out of his house somehow.
41:57: Player: Maybe lure him out. Maybe by a phone call.
42:01: Player: Make him think— I don’t know—spook him out of his house somehow so we can break in and investigate.
42:09: Player: So what exactly are we trying to accomplish here?
42:12: Player: Are we trying to get Corbitt arrested or something?
42:15: Player: Then maybe we could frame him for some kind of crime.
42:18: Player: Or are we trying to kill the spider thingy?
42:21: Player: I think we should just kill Corbitt.
42:22: Player: I think we need to stop whatever he’s trying to do.
42:26: Player: If we lure him out of his house, one of us could keep lookout, maybe up on the roof.
42:30: Player: Not me. I think I’ll sit this one out this time.
42:33: Player: But the rest of us could maybe go in his house, dig in his basement.
42:38: Player: I think maybe the attic could be a place to look.
42:43: Player: Go up there too.
42:47: Player: Maybe if I had me on some dead ladies or anything.
42:49: Player: Dead things, Mikey. Dead things.
42:53: Player: Or we can just go bust his door down and punch him in the face.
42:58: Player: Two could go in the front, two could go in the back.
43:02: Player: I mean, one thing that did get him out of his house before was snooping around in his backyard.
43:09: Player: That was just to get him into the backyard though.
43:11: Player: He never really came out.
43:15: Player: He did step out into the backyard.
43:18: Player: I think to look around.
43:19: Player: Like, that’s all he did.
43:24: GM: You guys would know this, but before all of this happened, he regularly left his house every day to go to work.
43:30: GM: It’s not like he used to just sit in his house all the time.
43:35: GM: He was a pretty normal guy who would get up and go to work every day.
43:37: GM: He usually got back around five in the evening.
43:40: Player: Okay, then we wait for him to leave.
43:42: Player: We go in his house and see what we can figure out.
43:49: Player: It’s probably around eight a.m., maybe closer to nine.
43:54: Player: Do you think Mr. Corbitt’s gonna head to work soon?
43:57: Billy: I’m gonna go look out the window.
44:02: GM: Billy goes over to the window. Are you trying to be covert about it?
44:07: Billy: Yeah, just like last time.
44:12: Player: Hey, he was fine. Dom was the one who face-planted into the window.
44:20: Billy: 21.
44:29: GM: Okay, yeah.
44:32: GM: You manage to creep over to the window, staying out of view.
44:35: GM: The curtains are open a bit in the middle, and you stay off to the side and peek through the gap toward Corbitt’s house.
44:43: GM: It looks quiet. You don’t see any movement inside.
44:53: GM: Corbitt’s car is still in the driveway.
45:00: GM: From what you can tell, you don’t see any sign that he’s getting ready to leave for work.
45:05: Billy: Hey fellas, what time did he usually leave? Do you know?
45:13: GM: He typically would leave anywhere from 8:30 to 9:00 a.m.
45:19: GM: This is where he would have normally probably been gone by this point.
45:29: Player: Did we know if he has any relatives in town or somebody we could pretend was in the hospital and call him and say, “Your baby brother is dying in the hospital, you better come quick?”
45:35: Player: Or maybe we could tell him there’s a business problem at work and he has to go deal with that instead.
45:40: Player: Yeah, but he’s going to know everybody at work.
45:42: Player: Maybe if we—
45:46: Player: Maybe there’s no job. Break into his store as a diversion.
45:52: Player: That’s not a bad idea, except—
45:55: Player: Why don’t you whisper that to us and not let Billy hear?
46:03: Player: So we got a good shot at getting in his house when he leaves for work.
46:07: Player: Yeah, but he hasn’t left for work.
46:09: Player: So you want to go snoop around in the store?
46:13: GM: You guys can make an Intelligence roll, or an Idea roll.
46:21: Player: 23 for me.
46:24: Player: My Intelligence is 80.
46:28: Player: 20.
46:30: Player: I rolled a 65.
46:32: GM: For those of you who succeeded, common sense suggests you would not be surprised if he didn’t leave for work anytime soon with everything that’s been going on and how much you’ve all been poking into his business.
46:54: Player: Well right, we already knew that.
46:59: Player: That’s why we’re trying to break into his store.
47:08: Player: Well next time I’ll let you guys apprehend the Miskatonic Mangler.
47:19: Player: Yesterday was Monday. He didn’t go to work yesterday either.
47:25: Player: Well actually, do we know where he works? Can we go break a window or something there?
47:34: GM: You definitely know he owns and runs Corbitt Imports.
47:40: GM: It’s an importing-exporting business.
47:43: GM: He probably has some warehouses down at the docks.
47:47: GM: You don’t know if he’s got a storefront or anything, but he has some properties.
47:51: Player: It probably wouldn’t be too difficult to go sink the ship before—
47:54: Player: Oh, let’s go a lot of where-as. We have dynamite.
47:58: Player: Literally.
47:59: Player: Literally.
48:01: Player: Let’s get Bakersfield’s dynamite and throw it in the window.
48:05: Bakersfield: Oh, so now you guys want my involvement.
48:08: Player: Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
48:13: Billy: Now you’re talking about just blowing up a place of business.
48:15: Player: Mary Beth-Beth-Beth, trying to kill her?
48:16: Player: She left.
48:18: GM: No, she didn’t leave.
48:19: GM: She is—
48:19: Player: Shimmy that purple vial then.
48:23: Mary Beth: You mind your tongue, how you talk to my wife?
48:29: Player: I thought you sent her away like two hours ago.
48:31: GM: He gave it to her and asked her if she would take it to the university.
48:35: GM: But she’s been standing here holding it with her arms crossed, staring at you guys this whole time.
48:42: Player: Maybe you could give us that back if you’re not going to take it.
48:48: Mary Beth: I think I’m going to hold on to it for now while you try drinking it.
48:53: Mary Beth: Look, I watched all of you get arrested two nights ago.
48:57: Mary Beth: I watched my husband almost die on the floor of my kitchen last night.
49:00: Mary Beth: I’m not going anywhere until I know what’s going on and why it’s happening.
49:06: Mary Beth: And now you’re all standing around talking like a bunch of insurgents or spies trying to go and attack a local business and blow it up, killing a bunch of people.
49:17: Simeon: No, sweetie. Sweetie, hold on, sweetie.
49:19: Simeon: Let me just, for my new book—
49:22: Simeon: Take my shirt off and let me do this dance.
49:24: Simeon: Let me show you this new method of therapy that I’m using.
49:29: Simeon: I’m gonna roll up a sexy persuasive dance to get her mind off of it, distract her a little.
49:39: GM: What are you trying to accomplish?
49:45: Simeon: Trying to persuade her not to worry about us and get her to go to the university.
49:52: GM: This doesn’t feel quite appropriate for that purpose.
49:57: Player: Take out the sexy and just do a persuasive dance.
50:01: Player: Or we can just do regular persuasion.
50:08: Player: Oh look, sweetie, this is what I do, alright? I’ve been through a lot.
50:18: GM: While they’re talking through all that stuff, Dom—
50:22: Player: I’m gonna go ahead and smoke out—
50:26: GM: If you want to make a Persuade roll on her to get her on the same page, go for it.
50:41: Player: I got a 2.
50:47: GM: Alright, nice. Extreme success.
50:50: GM: She listens to everything you tell her.
50:53: GM: Do you tell her basically what’s been going on and what led you all up to this point?
51:02: Player: Give her the whole plot.
51:05: GM: Okay.
51:08: GM: Her eyes get wider and wider as you go through the whole story—what you discovered in Corbitt’s yard, what you saw him drop in front of his house, everything about the Miskatonic Mangler.
51:21: GM: Finally she grabs another chair and sits down, looking pale and shocked.
51:29: Mary Beth: Oh my goodness. Wow.
51:31: Mary Beth: Well, this is incredible.
51:35: Mary Beth: So what should we do?
51:38: Mary Beth: Should we just go blow up his warehouse?
51:43: Players: [laughter]
51:48: Mary Beth: We have some dynamite.
51:49: Mary Beth: Should we just throw it through his window?
51:52: Players: [laughter]
51:53: Mary Beth: Look, I mean, you guys have talked about that.
51:56: Mary Beth: Okay, Doctor—
51:57: Mary Beth: You guys can do that.
52:01: Mary Beth: Simeon, your special dance is very persuasive.
52:03: Simeon: Oh, I know about it.
52:05: Simeon: As I snap my suspenders, yes I do.
52:08: Mary Beth: Maybe you go do that in the street as a distraction while we throw dynamite through all of his windows.
52:14: Players: [laughter]
52:19: GM: By the way, it’s still raining outside from the storm that came in yesterday.
52:31: Player: Alright, here’s a couple ideas. Why don’t we pick one?
52:35: Player: I was thinking maybe we should send your wife over to talk to Corbitt and see if she can distract him while we do some stuff.
52:43: Player: Or—
52:47: Player: Bakersfield and Dom, you guys head down to his place of business and cause some ruckus.
52:56: Player: While Dr. Simeon and myself stealthily sneak into his house.
53:02: Player: I think that’s a good idea.
53:05: Player: I don’t know if we’re going to be able to do anything without getting him out of his house.
53:17: Billy: I forgot to tell you guys earlier, but we’re trying to get a warrant for his house and it hasn’t been successful.
53:22: Billy: So anything we do, we’re going to have to take care of him ourselves.
53:27: Billy: I mean, that said, we can’t do anything drastically illegal, like blow up one of his businesses.
53:32: Billy: I mean, going in his house, I think I can look the other way, help out.
53:35: Billy: But throwing dynamite, I—
53:41: Player: Okay, we won’t throw the dynamite.
53:42: Player: But Billy, you’ve gotta understand something.
53:44: Player: You’ve gotta look the other way on a lot of stuff because you know what’s going on.
53:47: Billy: I do know what’s going on.
53:54: Billy: And I’m glad I trusted you guys because it’s turned out I could trust you—and I got a bad promotion.
54:02: [laughter]
54:06: GM: Alright, let’s see.
54:08: Player: Let’s send Mary Beth-Beth-Beth over.
54:10: Player: You hang around with us, you prosper.
54:11: Mary Beth: What do you want me to do?
54:12: Player: I can be lookout.
54:13: Player: If we can get him out of his house, that’s plan number one.
54:14: Player: We get him out of his house.
54:16: Player: I can either be lookout for whoever sneaks in, or I can sneak in myself.
54:20: Player: I’ve got a good Spot Hidden and I can try to find stuff.
54:24: Player: That’s good.
54:25: Player: Why don’t we have Billy cause the distraction?
54:30: Player: Corbitt doesn’t know Billy’s with us.
54:35: Player: Billy should go down to the warehouse and call Corbitt and tell him to meet him there because somebody was up to some mischief.
54:46: Player: Dom, I knew we were in this game for a reason. That’s brilliant.
54:49: Player: I think that’s a good idea too.
54:53: Player: If Billy goes down as a police officer and starts asking questions at his place of business, they’ll probably call Corbitt to come answer them.
54:59: Player: And then we could throw dynamite in his house.
55:06: [laughter]
55:09: Player: Yeah, I’ll back Billy.
55:12: Player: Billy, you go downtown to his warehouse or job or whatever.
55:17: Player: Start asking a lot of questions and see if you can get them to bring Corbitt in.
55:22: Player: Then we’ll go investigate the house.
55:24: Billy: Yeah. You want someone to go with me?
55:30: Player: Maybe mention something about his accomplice — that Thomas Shafsky guy.
55:43: Player: If he thinks someone is finding out about his accomplice, it might make him panic and definitely draw him out.
55:53: Billy: Where’s the vial that you drank from, Dr. Simeon?
56:01: Simeon: What about it?
56:03: Billy: I want to take it with me when I go down to his business.
56:07: Billy: I can start asking questions about a vial with some substance in it connected to Thomas Shafsky.
56:15: Billy: Maybe that’ll make him nervous and come down faster.
56:32: Player: That’s true, but Billy, you’ve got to be careful.
56:35: Player: If you show him that vial he’s going to start gibbering to you and you’ll be naked before you know it.
56:39: Player: I won’t be there to distract him.
56:43: Player: I meant the empty vial — maybe just one drop of purple goo in the bottom.
56:48: GM: Okay. Sounds like you guys have a fairly solid plan forming.
56:53: GM: What do you want to do?
56:56: Player: Billy goes down and distracts Corbitt.
57:02: Player: Once he’s out of the house, I’ll go down to the end of the cul-de-sac with my Colt .45.
57:08: Player: I’ll keep lookout.
57:10: Player: If he comes down the road, I’ll fire a warning shot into the ground so you guys know to get out of the house.
57:16: Player: Then I’ll shoot him as he’s driving.
57:24: Player: Then throw dynamite in his window.
57:26: Player: And roll dynamite under the car.
57:29: Player: Just kidding about that part.
57:30: GM: Alright Billy, are you heading off?
57:34: Billy: Yeah. Who wants to come with me?
57:36: Player: Yeah.
57:39: Player: I think the more people investigating the house, the better.
57:44: Player: If Billy shows up with one of us that Corbitt already knows was spying on him, Corbitt will get suspicious and rush home faster.
58:01: Player: I like Billy alone.
58:03: Billy: Thanks.
58:04: Player: Just don’t go dying on us.
58:07: Player: Don’t drink anything purple.
58:11: Player: The only person who might help is Bakersfield — he could throw a net over him again.
58:19: Player: Mr. Netty Hands returns.
58:24: Player: Bakersfield could be in the shadows with the net ready.
58:27: Billy: I’ll go by myself. I’ve got a squad car.
58:30: Player: Yeah, the captain told you to go.
58:39: Player: Okay, get out of here Billy. Stop talking.
58:45: GM: Billy McConnell heads out, gets into a squad car, and drives toward the docks.
58:49: GM: You have a rough idea where Corbitt Imports is located.
59:10: GM: The rest of you — what are you doing?
59:14: Player: Dom and I will sneak through the back once he leaves.
59:21: Player: Doctor Kantstandyerbitz should stay lookout since he’s injured.
59:28: Player: Yeah, watch from the upstairs window.
59:33: Player: Maybe you can keep lookout down the street.
59:37: Simeon: Okay. What do you want me to do exactly?
59:41: Mary Beth: What about me?
59:45: Player: Maybe we keep you away from the dynamite.
01:00:02: Player: She’s more dynamite-happy than we are.
01:00:09: Bakersfield: Oh I’ve got a lot of dynamite… if by “a lot” you mean two sticks.
01:00:22: GM: Okay. What are you guys going to do?
01:00:26: Player: We’ll go in through the backyard again once he leaves.
01:00:31: Player: The back door is probably still weak from last time.
01:00:39: Player: Maybe Mary Beth-Beth-Beth can distract the barber next door so he doesn’t see anything.
01:00:59: Mary Beth: I can do that. I make incredible crumpets.
01:01:08: Player: Good idea. That barber is always watching the windows.
01:01:31: Player: So three of us break in, Simeon watches from the house.
01:01:37: Simeon: I’m already headed upstairs to my favorite lookout window.
01:01:41: Simeon: Not doing anything suspicious.
01:01:50: GM: While you’re getting dressed and gathering equipment, tell me exactly what you’re taking.
01:02:11: Player: We’ve got revolvers, shotguns, a rifle, and an elephant gun.
01:02:17: Player: Why would we need an elephant gun?
01:02:21: Player: Why wouldn’t we?
01:02:25: Player: I’ve got a torch and a hip flask.
01:02:32: Player: Maybe the elephant gun is good if we run into the giant spider beast.
01:02:40: Player: I also have lockpicks.
01:02:51: Bakersfield: I’m bringing the dynamite.
01:02:57: Bakersfield: Both sticks.
01:03:00: Bakersfield: Also a shotgun and my Colt 1911.
01:03:15: Player: Take one of my lighters for the dynamite.
01:03:18: Player: And bring Old Reliable just in case.
01:03:40: Tallahassee: I’ve got my hat, bullwhip, Colt .45, cowboy saber, notebook, and flashlight.
01:03:57: Tallahassee: Also rope, hatchet, and binoculars.
01:04:07: Tallahassee: I’d like another handgun from Bakersfield.
01:04:12: Bakersfield: Sure.
01:04:32: GM: Dom, what about you?
01:04:39: Dom: Torch, hip flask, and lockpicks.
01:04:44: Dom: And a flashlight.
01:04:50: Player: Dom should take the other shotgun.
01:05:02: GM: Okay. Dom gets the shotgun and a .38 revolver.
01:05:42: GM: Another revolver goes to Dr. Simeon for lookout.
01:05:59: Simeon: I guess I’m heading to the end of the cul-de-sac.
01:06:07: Player: Yeah, so you can see if Corbitt comes down the road.
01:06:16: GM: While you’re preparing and handing around equipment…
01:06:22: GM: You hear the door next door slam.
01:06:26: GM: A car engine starts up.
01:06:31: GM: The distinctive squeak of a loose fan belt fades away as the car drives off.

01:06:56: Announcer: Thanks for listening to this episode of The Arkham Files.
01:06:59: Announcer: If you like what you hear, support us at patreon.com/TheArkhamFiles.
01:07:02: Announcer: Or leave us a five-star review on iTunes.
01:07:07: Announcer: Thanks again.

01:07:34: Announcer: No psychologists were injured in the recording of this episode.