View source for 109: For Whom the Dice Rolls

==Synopsis==

Billy McConnell tracks Bernard Corbitt to his workplace and confronts him with Tomaszewski’s name and the mysterious vial. Corbitt tries to bluff his way through it, but Billy catches him slipping when he pronounces Tomaszewski’s name too correctly for someone who claims not to know him. Realizing the game is up, Corbitt distracts Billy with a folder and makes a run for it through the warehouse. What follows is a full-on action sequence as Billy smashes through doors, powers through falling boxes, chases Corbitt between aisles, fires a warning shot, trips over garbage cans, and finally Superman-dives into Corbitt’s moving car to drag him out and arrest him. When Corbitt starts muttering ominously under his breath, Billy solves the problem with the time-honored policing technique of punching him in the face and hauling him back to the house handcuffed and gagged.

Back at Corbitt’s residence, the rest of the investigators are preparing to explore the basement when Billy and Simeon arrive with their prisoner. The group quickly compares notes from the journals upstairs and then, in one of the evening’s more memorable moments, proudly shows Billy the severed “head-beast” they killed earlier. Corbitt panics the instant he sees both the dead creature and the open basement door, which tells the investigators they are very much on the right track. Rather than asking many more questions, they adopt the entirely reasonable plan of shoving Corbitt ahead of them as they descend into the basement in case anything horrifying is waiting below.

The basement proves to be far worse than expected. The investigators discover a hidden laboratory beneath the house, complete with chemicals, surgical instruments, blood spatters, and refrigerated stores of human nerves, tendons, and blood vessels. A seemingly empty cabinet gives off a terrible smell, and when they probe further they find it conceals a hidden passage. Beyond it lies a dark, foul, dirt-floored chamber with a damp floor and a stench so awful it becomes almost tangible. As they force Corbitt into the tunnel, he resists in mounting terror, making it obvious that whatever is hidden ahead is the true secret he has been protecting.

Around the corner they encounter the campaign’s final monstrosity: a gigantic, shambling mass of mucus, flesh, limbs, vents, and grasping arms, roughly the size of a bull and assembled from stolen body parts into something grotesquely alive. It breathes through puckering holes in its sides, drags itself through the muck, and leaks horrible brown fluid as it advances. Most disturbing of all, Corbitt does not react with fear but with open adoration, gazing tearfully at the thing like a proud lover or parent. The reveal hits the party hard. Bakersfield keeps his cool through sheer wartime nerve, but Billy faints dead away from the shock, while Simeon suffers a bout of temporary madness that leaves him desperate to hide in darkness, fleeing back into the lab to smash the lights and cower there in comforting gloom.

Combat with the creature is chaotic, filthy, and frequently hilarious. The table immediately starts calling it everything from a “multi-bear” to a “butt monster” and a “diarrhea monster,” which does not lessen the danger at all. Dom opens fire with his revolver, Bakersfield blasts huge chunks out of it with his shotgun, and Tallahassee steps up behind them like a two-fisted gunslinger, emptying both a .45 and a .38 in full Doc Holliday fashion. Tallahassee’s shooting is gloriously mixed: some shots tear into the creature, others go wild, and one nearly grazes Bakersfield, prompting a very justified lack of confidence in the overall plan. Corbitt, meanwhile, repeatedly tries to interfere and protect his beloved monster, only to get kicked out from under himself and knocked back into the wall.

The fight reaches its climax when the abomination surges forward and nearly devours Major Bakersfield, grabbing him with several arms and trying to shove him into its ringed, tooth-lined maw. Bakersfield barely keeps himself alive by jamming his elephant gun sideways across its mouth and holding it back by brute force. With Simeon out of action and Billy unconscious, Dom becomes the unlikely hero of the hour. He rushes forward, braces himself behind Bakersfield, thrusts his revolver directly into the creature’s mouth, and fires repeatedly at point-blank range. In a genuinely dramatic final moment, Dom thinks of Fiona and then cries out Sam’s name as his shots finally strike something vital. The monster collapses in a heap, wheezing and convulsing until at last it falls still.

With the creature dead, Corbitt gives a muffled shriek of grief and tries to throw himself onto it, only for Tallahassee to stab him and leave him sobbing against the corpse. Billy eventually regains consciousness, Simeon recovers enough to return from his darkness-induced refuge, and the investigators piece together what they have found: the thing below Corbitt’s house was some kind of child or gate-creature, intended to bring forth a greater being from another world. Whatever portal Tomaszewski hinted at in his testimony has now been permanently shut.

The aftermath brings an almost equally unsettling twist. Police flood the house, but once the captain and a trusted inner circle see what is in the basement, the response changes immediately. Only Billy, the captain, and a few selected detectives are allowed to know the full truth. Detective Frank Kovach and Detective Burke are brought in to view the hidden room, the rest of the officers are kept away from the real horror, and after some quiet phone calls a black sedan arrives carrying four men in dark suits who head straight into the basement. The implication is clear: there are other people, somewhere above or beyond ordinary law enforcement, who know exactly what kind of nightmare the investigators have stumbled into.

In the epilogue, the characters each receive a fitting ending. Billy’s role in exposing Corbitt and bringing down the case earns him both a commendation and a promotion to detective, making him the youngest officer on the force to reach that rank. Tallahassee heads home to write what will become the wildest and most unbelievable of his adventure books, ironically also the truest. Simeon returns to Mary Beth Beth with renewed affection and a badly shaken mind, needing time to recover from the knowledge that reality is far stranger and darker than he had imagined. Bakersfield goes home, washes up, drinks from one of his nice glasses, and settles into the quiet certainty that when something is wrong in the world, his job is to make it right. Dom, perhaps most poignantly, realizes he is no longer alone. After all his wandering and grief, he has finally found people he may be able to trust—people who might understand enough to help him continue his search for the truth.

==Transcript==
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00:00: Intro: [Music] Welcome to the Arkham Files, a Call of Cthulhu actual-play podcast featuring Seth Morrison as Tallahassee Turner.
00:33: Tallahassee (Seth): I think he’s dying, but if he does, are you available?
00:39: Intro: Peter Morrison as Dominic John Druncard.
00:42: Dom (Peter): It was like I, you know, had a fair amount of spirits.
00:46: Intro: Donovan Ballard as Dr. Simeon.
00:48: Simeon (Donovan): I can’t stand you this— I’m not a psychologist tonight.
00:52: Intro: Sam Morrison as Major Frederick Aloysius Bakersfield.
00:56: Bakersfield (Sam): Still really into guns and ammo and… stuff.
01:02: Intro: Abel Morrison as Officer Billy McConnell.
01:05: Billy (Abel): We can’t do anything drastically illegal.
01:08: Someone: I blow up his business.
01:10: GM (Alex): And I’m your Game Master, the keeper of arcane lore, Alex Morrison. Now grab your dice and your sanity. Let’s roll.

01:32: GM: Billy McConnell. At some point during your wait, the familiar figure of Bernard Corbitt shows up and walks into the back office. Glancing over and seeing you, he looks at his manager first and nods, then does a double take. “Oh! Officer—hello. Is there something wrong? I know you, right? You were the one who came to my house the other night with the… Proudallers? Officer McConnell, was it?”
02:07: Billy: That’s right, Mr. Corbitt. That’s a good memory.
02:10: Corbitt (GM): Yes, yes, well it was just recently. Quite a stressful event. What can I do for you? What is it you’d like to know?
02:19: Billy: Well here’s the deal. We’ve just taken into custody a man named Thomas F. Skeet.
02:31: GM: When you say that name, roll me a Psychology check.
02:40: Billy: 34.
02:43: GM: You definitely notice a reaction. His eyes go wide, his breath catches. He tries to hide it, but you’re experienced at reading suspects and criminals. No problem.
03:00: Billy: I see you recognize that name.
03:04: Corbitt (GM): Recognize that name? What was that again?
03:07: Billy: Sorry?
03:08: Corbitt (GM): Tom… I don’t know. Should I know who he is?
03:18: Billy: You can play dumb all you want, Mr. Corbitt. But Mr. Thomas Tomaszewski is talking. And he’s pointing fingers.
03:26: Corbitt (GM): I—I don’t know what he would be talking about. I don’t believe I’ve ever met the man.
03:37: Billy: I pull out the vial and show him.
03:43: Corbitt (GM): What is that? I don’t know what that’s supposed to be.
03:51: Billy: Mr. Tomaszewski says you got this vial from him.
03:57: Corbitt (GM): That’s preposterous! I’ve never seen that before!
04:07: Billy: You’re sweating pretty heavily, Mr. Corbitt.
04:11: Corbitt (GM): I rushed over here as quickly as I could. I may have worked up a sweat. I don’t have anything to hide. I’ve never met this Tomaszewski character. I don’t know what that liquid is.
04:38: Billy: You just called him Tomaszewski.
04:43: Corbitt (GM): That’s… I mean, his name, right? Or Thomas—Tomaszewski?
04:50: GM: Most people mistakenly call him “Thomas Ooski.”
04:55: Billy: Well how would you know his name is spelled funny and call him Tomaszewski?
05:02: Corbitt (GM): Well I— I just— I mean it sounded Polish. That’s usually how they spell those names.
05:13: Someone: Very shrewd of Billy McConnell there.
05:16: Someone: Bit Billy McConnell there.
05:18: Someone: Crack in the case.
05:19: Someone: Crack in the case. Wide open.
05:22: GM: He is noticeably distressed. He’s fumbling over his words, glancing side to side, looking back at the door.
05:30: Billy: We know Mr. Tomaszewski is at Miskatonic. Do you know who he told us that was?
05:45: Corbitt (GM): I… can’t imagine.
05:47: [Laughter]
05:59: Billy: I think we need to take a little trip downtown.
06:01: [Laughter]
06:04: Corbitt (GM): Well, I think maybe I should speak with my lawyer.
06:10: Billy: If he starts mumbling like that stuff we’ve heard about before, I’m ready for it.
06:24: Corbitt (GM): Mr. Randall, would you please call my lawyer. Get him on the phone right now. Immediately.
06:36: Randall (GM): Yes, yes Mr. Corbitt. Right away.
06:40: GM: Mr. Randall looks disturbed as he heads toward the back room.
06:47: Corbitt (GM): Oh—one moment, Mr. Randall. Officer, there is something. Mr. Randall, grab that folder off the desk and show it to the officer please.
07:03: GM: Randall picks up a folder and offers it to Billy.
07:13: Billy: I’m keeping my eyes on Mr. Corbitt and just grabbing the folder.
07:25: GM: As you do that, he makes a break for it.
07:29: [Laughter]
07:34: GM: The moment you grab the folder he sprints for the door and rushes out. Randall steps back in shock and wants nothing to do with it. Billy, you sprint after him as Corbitt runs through the warehouse toward where his car is parked.
08:17: GM: Make a Constitution roll to keep up with the run.
08:27: Billy: 82 out of 65.
08:31: GM: That’s a success—
08:34: Someone: Oh dang.
08:36: GM: If you pass, your move stays the same. Mr. Corbitt failed, which drops his move to seven—same as yours. You’re in much better shape though and he starts tiring quickly.
09:19: GM: He’s currently two locations ahead. He threw the door closed behind him. What do you do?
09:55: Billy: Smash through it.
10:07: GM: Make a Dex roll.
10:07: Billy: 10.
10:11: GM: Extreme success. You smash through the door, splintering the frame, and gain a position on him.
10:33: GM: Corbitt grabs a stack of boxes and tries to pull them down behind him.
11:03: GM: He barely succeeds after spending luck. The boxes crash down behind him.
11:14: GM: What do you do?
11:17: Billy: I’m just going to plow through them.
11:20: GM: Make a Strength roll.
11:30: Billy: 31.
11:33: GM: Hard success. You shoulder through them. Corbitt is right ahead of you.
11:41: GM: He jukes down an aisle between shelves of stored goods.
12:11: GM: He keeps a slight lead but you’re right behind him. What do you want to do?
12:23: Billy: How close is he?
12:25: GM: A couple yards maybe.
12:30: GM: I’m playing a little fast and loose with the chase rules here.
12:35: Someone: This is true.
12:43: Billy: Mr. Corbitt, you’re not going to get away!
12:55: Someone: There’s stuff around you. Throw something!
13:05: Someone: Grab something off the shelf!
13:14: Someone: A nice Ming vase he’s imported.
13:18: Billy: I grab the vase and throw it at him.
13:24: GM: Make a Throw roll.
13:36: Billy: 26.
13:41: Someone: Spend luck!
13:50: Billy: Nah, I’ll just keep chasing him.
13:53: GM: The vase shatters against a shelf and doesn’t slow him down. He’s coming to the end of the aisle where a door leads outside.
14:16: GM: He throws open the door and runs out.
14:28: GM: What do you do?
14:32: Billy: Keep chasing him.
14:40: Someone: Shoot him!
14:44: Billy: I yell, “Stop or I’ll shoot!” and fire in the air.
14:50: GM: Roll Intimidate.
14:57: Billy: 60.
15:00: GM: He keeps running. He’s close to his car now. He grabs some garbage cans and throws them behind him.
15:16: GM: The garbage cans spill across your path.
15:20: Billy: I jump over them.
15:27: GM: Make a Dex roll.
15:29: Billy: Eighty—
15:30: GM: That’s a fail. You trip and tumble, giving him some distance as he reaches his car and jumps in.
16:04: GM: He cranks the engine as quickly as possible.
16:30: GM: The car starts and he throws it into gear. You get one more shot—what do you do?
16:52: Billy: I Superman through the car door!
16:59: GM: Make a Fighting Brawl roll.
17:13: Billy: 55.
17:19: GM: He rolled 53. By the skin of your teeth you dive in and grab him as the car starts moving. You’re half hanging out with your legs dragging on the pavement.
17:48: GM: Make another Fighting Brawl.
17:57: Billy: 41.
18:01: GM: His roll is 71. You rip his feet off the pedals and haul him out of the car, throwing him onto the pavement.
18:22: Corbitt (GM): Okay! Okay! Alright! Just don’t hurt me!
18:47: GM: As you go to slap the cuffs on Bernard Corbitt, roll a Listen check.
19:04: Billy: Seven.
19:09: Someone: 61.
19:12: GM: Corbitt begins mumbling under his breath again.
19:14: Billy: Oh, I’m punching him.
19:19: GM: You sock him. The breath rushes out of his lungs and the mumbling stops.
19:32: Someone: That’s police brutality!
19:52: Corbitt (GM): You just wait until my lawyer gets ahold of you…
20:20: GM: Corbitt is handcuffed and gagged. You throw him in the squad car. Where are you taking him?
20:27: Billy: Back to his house.
20:28: GM: Billy McConnell pulls onto the street just as the others get the basement door open.
20:51: GM: Simeon sees Billy’s squad car pulling up with Bernard Corbitt in the back.
20:57: GM: You guys hear a gunshot from down the street.
21:09: Billy: Dr. Simeon! I’ve got Mr. Corbitt. Hop in—we’re going back to the house to get some evidence.
21:18: GM: Simeon hops in and you head toward Corbitt’s house. Meanwhile, down the street, the others hear the gunshot.
21:28: GM: What do you do?
21:34: Dom: Yeah, I make a break for it out the back.
21:36: GM: Out the back?
21:38: Someone: I don’t want to make a break for it.
21:41: Someone: Let’s go down the basement.
21:48: Bakersfield: Oh, it was nice of Billy to fire his gun if Corbitt’s coming back with cuffs on him—
21:51: Someone: Yeah, but we don’t know that.
21:54: Bakersfield: I know we don’t know that, but you’d still want to risk it?
21:57: GM: You hear a car pulling up in the front. You do not hear the distinctive telltale squeaking sound.
22:01: Dom: I want to—
22:06: Dom: Oh, okay. I was going to say I want to listen for the squeaky thingy.
22:12: Tallahassee: Alright, instead of running off, can I run and very gracefully kind of peek out the window?
22:16: GM: Yeah. You run up to the front of the house.
22:19: Someone: You can cover from up there.
22:20: GM: You see Billy McConnell and Dr. Simeon pulling up in Billy McConnell’s squad car. Billy unceremoniously pulls a handcuffed and gagged Bernard Corbitt out of the back and starts leading him into the house.
22:36: Tallahassee: Hey guys, hold off a minute. Don’t leave. It’s Officer McConnell. He’s got Mr. Corbitt handcuffed, and he’s got a gag in his mouth. Dr. Simeon is with him.
22:51: GM: He gets to the front door as you all— I’m assuming you let him in?
22:53: Group: Yeah.
22:59: GM: You bring him into the house.
23:05: Dom: Okay, so we want to tell them all about what we read in the journals and stuff.
23:08: Someone: Briefly bring him up to speed.
23:12: Dom: Oh, I also lift up the head-beast in my hand and show him.
23:18: Someone: You mean Tom chased this?
23:21: Someone: He did kill it, fair and square.
23:24: Someone: Do we want to show Billy the head-beast?
23:26: Dom: Well, I’m holding it in my—
23:28: GM: He sees you guys holding the head-beast. His eyes go wide and he just—
23:34: Corbitt (GM): Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!
23:37: GM: He glances over, sees the basement door open, and goes into an outright panic. He starts trying to break free of McConnell’s grasp.
23:52: Someone: I help him hold him.
23:55: GM: Oh no, this is the coldest— he does not succeed in any attempt to wrestle his way free.
24:02: Bakersfield: Try to calm down a little bit here. I know it will speak devastating to see the state of your girlfriend.
24:10: [Laughter]
24:22: GM: Officer McConnell, looking at the dead head-beast, I need you to make a Sanity check, since Dom Druncard just shook it in your face.
24:31: Billy: Oh no, no, no, no, no.
24:35: GM: Dr. Simeon, I need you to also make a Sanity check as you see this horrible head-beast with weird spidery arm-bones jutting from the bottom of it.
24:45: Someone: He’s dead.
24:46: Billy: 69.
24:47: Simeon: 36 out of 55.
24:50: Someone: 13.
24:52: GM: Alright, nice. You each lose 1 Sanity from that. Okay, what do you want to do?
25:00: Someone: Do we want to just—
25:02: Someone: Go down to the basement?
25:05: Someone: Or do we want to ask Corbitt what’s down there?
25:08: Someone: Yeah, if you guys want to go check out the basement—
25:12: Someone: How about we just take Corbitt down there with us?
25:15: Someone: Let’s do that.
25:16: Someone: Push him in the way of anything that might be a potential threat.
25:20: Someone: I like that.
25:24: Dom: Okay, alright. So we lead Corbitt in front of us and start to descend into the basement.
25:29: GM: Okay.
25:30: Someone: Shine the torch in front of us.
25:35: GM: You head toward the dark basement stairs. There’s a flash of lightning and a peel of thunder as you glance down those dark, dismal steps. Each one creaks as you make your way down. You do see a light switch on the side, and you’re able to switch it on. There’s a single hanging bulb in the stairwell. The stairwell goes down, reaches the bottom, and hits a wall almost immediately. There’s a door, and stairs go down again to the left that lead to another door. The hallway curves around on your right and heads back the other direction again.
26:19: GM: Which way do you want to go?
26:22: Someone: Let’s go down this hallway first.
26:25: Someone: I gesture which way we should go. Can that curve around to the back of the house?
26:30: GM: Yeah.
26:31: Someone: Okay, head that direction.
26:32: GM: There’s another couple of steps heading down and another door.
26:36: Billy: Can I see which way he’s reacting to? If we start going toward the hall?
26:41: GM: Yeah, roll a Psychology check.
26:48: Billy: 75, and I got a 75.
26:50: GM: Nice. He looks significantly more distressed when you start heading down the hallway toward the back of the house than when you start heading down the other set of stairs.
26:58: Someone: Nice.
27:03: GM: So is that the direction you’re going to go?
27:05: Someone: Oh yes. Under the greenhouse.
27:08: Someone: Okay.
27:09: Someone: You just kind of got to press him back.
27:12: Someone: Yeah, I’ve got my gun out too.
27:15: Someone: And my other gun.
27:16: GM: As you head this direction, there’s another door. It goes down about three more steps and then there’s a door.
27:23: Someone: Okay, we open the door.
27:24: GM: You open the door and it opens up into—
27:28: Bakersfield: I have both my guns drawn.
27:29: GM: Immediately you see to your right there’s another door, and the whole room opens up to your left. It’s a large room that looks like it takes up most of the space under the house, from where the kitchen and living room would be above you. It opens up to your left and looks like nothing more than a laboratory. On one end of the lab, the back wall facing the rear of the house is filled with chemicals stored in jars, along with numerous beakers, retorts, mortars and pestles, and balances. There are several dried plant specimens on a table. On the other side of the room, toward the front of the house, there’s what looks like a surgery. There are scalpels, catgut, needles, ribs, bladders, splatters, clamps, and other instruments leaning all over the place, and there’s a large metal cabinet next to it. As you walk into that room, you also see another cabinet against the wall and a door on the left side of the room toward the front of the house.
28:48: GM: You want to check the door?
28:56: Someone: Totes.
28:58: Someone: We’ll push Corbitt toward the door that he’s getting weird about.
29:02: Billy: Can I do another Psychology roll?
29:07: GM: Yeah. Make another Psychology roll.
29:13: Billy: 42.
29:15: GM: As you start pushing him that direction, he is just losing it. His eyes flick all over the place—to the right, to the left, at the door, toward that cabinet, over to the desk, back to the cabinet, toward the door, back to the cabinet. He’s panicky and hyperventilating, trying to push himself back. He’s dragging his feet as you shove him forward.
29:38: Someone: Alright, should we open the door?
29:44: Group: Yeah.
29:48: Someone: Before we do that, can I look around and see if there are any human body parts in this room?
29:55: GM: If you want to roll Spot Hidden. Everything’s mostly open, except for the cabinets against the walls. Just from glancing around, you don’t see any human remains out in the open. It looks like there might be some blood splatters around the table on the southeast end.
30:34: Someone: The door. Okay, do you guys want to open the door?
30:38: Someone: Open the door. I’ll open the door.
30:41: GM: You feel it’s— okay. You also found a light switch at the end of this room, so it’s fairly well lit. There are a couple bulbs in here. You open the door.
30:55: GM: It opens into a dark room that is empty aside from a spare wooden table with a chair next to it. There’s a set of shelves against the wall to the right that are empty. It looks maybe like a workroom, but appears empty at first glance.
31:18: Someone: Well, I shine my flashlight in there.
31:25: GM: You shine your flashlights around. You find a pull light in the middle of the room if you want to go in and pull the cord.
31:38: Someone: Seems sketchy.
31:40: Someone: Alright, Dom.
31:42: Dom: Oh yeah, let’s make it happen.
31:43: Dom: I’ve got one arm in a sling and a flashlight, bro. I mean—
31:47: Someone: Nineteen’s all up to you.
31:52: Dom: I’ll go in and pull on the light. I want to get some adventure in my life.
31:56: GM: You go in, pull the cord on the light in the middle of the room, and it lights up immediately, illuminating the room. Looking around, you don’t see anything aside from the empty table, chair, and shelves. It’s just a sparse room that appears to be empty.
32:12: Someone: Let’s gauge his reaction.
32:16: GM: Corbitt is still panicking and looking around, but he’s not fighting you as much once you came in here as he was before.
32:28: Billy: Is there anything specific he keeps looking at? Like, are his eyes going a certain direction more than any other?
32:42: Someone: Is there anything up on the ceiling currently? No head-beasts?
32:45: GM: No, you don’t see anything on the ceiling.
32:47: GM: Someone roll either Psychology or Spot Hidden.
32:51: Someone: I’ll do Spot Hidden. I’ve got 75.
32:55: Tallahassee: One.
32:59: GM: You got a one?
33:02: Tallahassee: Zero-zero-one.
33:04: GM: Alright, that is a critical success. Make sure you check that off, and roll a d10 for me, Seth.
33:19: Tallahassee: Eight.
33:22: GM: Nice. I’m going to let you add four permanently onto your Spot Hidden.
33:29: Tallahassee: Oh yeah.
33:30: Someone: Wow, nice.
33:31: Tallahassee: Brings me up to 79.
33:33: GM: That’s the first critical we’ve gotten. That’s a one-in-a-hundred shot. But no, in this room you don’t notice him glancing at anything more than anything else. If anything, he kind of keeps checking behind him over his shoulder.
33:54: Someone: Did the door open inward? Is there anything behind the door?
33:58: GM: It opened inward. No, you don’t see anything behind the door.
34:01: Dom: I’m gonna go back in the other room and search the cabinets.
34:03: GM: Okay. Which cabinet do you want to check?
34:05: Dom: The first one.
34:08: GM: There’s the metal cabinet up against the west wall by the surgery, and then there’s a wooden cabinet up against the south wall closer to the set of doors you guys just went through.
34:17: Someone: You love wood, Tallahassee.
34:19: Tallahassee: I was gonna go for the surgery cabinet.
34:23: Someone: Unlike you.
34:24: Tallahassee: The surgery cabinet.
34:26: GM: Yeah. Okay. So you go over and open that. As you get close, you actually notice the faint sound of what sounds like a compressor. As you start opening the drawers, you find a host of refrigerated human nerves, tendons, and blood vessels stored in the cabinet. There are also bottles of glucose and saline solutions—things he appears to have been saving for future use. I need you to roll a Sanity check as you find all this stuff.
35:07: Tallahassee: Hey McConnell, I don’t know what this stuff is. Looks like beef jerky to me, but it might be worth something. I’m too dumb to notice.
35:19: GM: Tallahassee Turner, since he’s the one who opened it and found all the weird gross nasty stuff.
35:25: Tallahassee: Alright, I got a 25 out of 44 on Sanity.
35:31: GM: Success. You don’t lose anything on a success.
35:35: Tallahassee: Yeah, ’cause it’s just beef jerky.
35:36: Tallahassee: Alright, I’m gonna go open the other cabinet.
35:40: GM: Okay.
35:43: GM: You open the wooden cabinet on the south side of the room, and it is empty. But as soon as you open it, you notice a smell coming from it—a fetid, rotten odor emanating from that area.
36:10: Tallahassee: Wow, smells pretty terrible in here.
36:16: Someone: What is that horrible smell? Smells like death.
36:20: Tallahassee: This is the empty cabinet.
36:22: Someone: Yeah?
36:23: Tallahassee: Yeah, there’s nothing in here.
36:24: GM: With a horrible smell emanating from it.
36:29: Someone: Do you see a door that the cabinet is hiding?
36:35: Someone: It’s a portal to—
36:37: Someone: It’s a spider world.
36:40: GM: Are you going to try and shove it aside?
36:45: Bakersfield: Oh yeah, move it aside.
36:52: GM: What do you want to do? Check for a trapdoor in the back, slide it to the side, move it—
37:01: Bakersfield: Yeah, I’m gonna just move it.
37:01: GM: You try to move it. It doesn’t budge.
37:06: Someone: Look for a trapdoor.
37:07: Someone: Push through the back of it.
37:09: Bakersfield: Alright, I push the back and kind of search around.
37:13: GM: It opens.
37:16: Someone: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Let’s go this way, guys.
37:18: GM: The back is false—it’s just a board set up against the back wall. Once you push against it, it easily comes aside and opens. When you move that board out of the way, the smell hits you in the face almost like a physical blow.
37:39: GM: It’s the horrible smell of rotten meat, like a charnel house, mixed with sewage like an open sewer. There’s another flash of lightning and thunder outside. Looking in, it is pitch black. The passage goes straight ahead for a couple of feet, then curves off to the left.
38:12: Someone: You guys going?
38:14: Someone: Let’s go. Just keep doing the same thing we’ve been doing—lead Corbitt down the path.
38:15: Someone: Alright, bring him.
38:16: Someone: Flashlights.
38:17: GM: As you start pushing him toward this, he tries to fight again. He drags his feet, shoves back, and freaks out.
38:34: Someone: Okay.
38:35: GM: You whack him on the back of the head, stunning him a little. He calms down from his freaking out.
38:53: Someone: Alright, we’re in. Let’s do it. Flashlights out, boys.
38:57: GM: You start heading down into this dark room. There’s actually a dirt floor in here, with exposed beams along the walls holding up the ceiling above. The floor is damp and squishy, and the farther in you go, the worse the smell gets. It’s almost getting into your mouth—you can taste it.
39:25: GM: I want you all to roll Listen.
39:35: Tallahassee: Got a 47 to 70.
39:38: Someone: 32 out of 20.
39:44: Simeon: I had a success. 48 out of—
39:45: Billy: 89.
39:46: GM: Okay. Those of you that succeeded start hearing a shuffling sound in the dirt and mud coming from around the corner to the left.
39:58: Bakersfield: Tallahassee, step aside.
40:02: GM: You also hear a wheezing noise.
40:05: Someone: I’ve got my shotgun out.
40:07: GM: You guys pulling your guns out?
40:08: Bakersfield: I already had that .45 out this whole time.
40:10: Someone: Guys, I hear something funny.
40:12: Someone: Hear some shuffling.
40:13: GM: You hear what sounds almost like several large bellows being squeezed over and over. Air blowing through the room. As you press forward, a figure starts to emerge from around the corner.
40:45: GM: At first you see an arm come around the corner. It’s pale white, feeling its way along the wall. Then another arm appears, and another, and another, all feeling along the wall.
41:28: GM: What begins to peek around the edge is some sort of horrible large mucusy blob of flesh—almost like an overcooked pudding—with various limbs attached at all angles. There are about a dozen arms ringing the top of it, another dozen legs across the bottom, and more arms shuffling it along. Altogether the whole horrible construction is about the size of a bull.
42:12: GM: As it moves toward you, there are large wrinkly orifices in the side of it breathing in and expelling air. There’s a hole near the bottom that drops to the ground and scrapes along it. On the top, in the middle, there’s another sphincter-like protrusion expelling horrible brown sludgy liquid that splatters all over the thing. It keeps making awful sounds as its various openings pucker, widen, and close while it shuffles toward you with its arms outstretched.
43:26: GM: You hear a whimper from Bernard Corbitt behind you as he looks at it. But the look in his eyes isn’t fear. It’s longing—maybe adoration. A single tear falls down his cheek as it moves toward you, arms outstretched.
43:54: Someone: I blast it in the face with my shotgun.
43:56: [Laughter]
43:58: GM: I mean, you all make Sanity rolls.
44:02: Someone: Yeah, and then we’re just gonna open fire.
44:06: Billy: 69.
44:09: Someone: I rolled a 34 out of 45.
44:11: Someone: 59 out of 54.
44:15: GM: If you want to look in Roll20, there’s a picture of somewhat of a depiction of what this is.
44:22: Someone: That thing is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
44:25: Someone: What in the world on earth?
44:28: Someone: It’s a multi-bear.
44:29: Someone: It’s a multi-bear.
44:30: [Laughter]
44:31: Someone: It’s the multi-bear.
44:32: GM: Okay, everybody needs to make Sanity checks.
44:35: Someone: Yeah, I got a 69 on this.
44:37: Someone: This is the diarrhea monster.
44:39: Someone: I’m a white male.
44:40: GM: Successes?
44:42: Someone: Okay, I rolled a success.
44:46: GM: Bakersfield succeeded. McConnell, you failed. The rest of you guys—
44:51: Someone: I failed. Failed, failed, failed.
44:56: GM: Everybody failed except for Bakersfield. All of you that failed lose 1d10. Major Bakersfield, lose 1 point of Sanity as your steely nerve, honed in war, holds your wits together in combat.
45:27: GM: Who lost what?
45:29: Billy: I lost five.
45:30: Someone: I lost two.
45:32: Someone: Three.
45:33: GM: Okay. Dr. Simeon and Billy McConnell each need to make Intelligence rolls.
45:38: Billy: Oh no, I’m gonna go insane.
45:41: Someone: Oh no, don’t go temporarily insane.
45:43: Someone: You’ve gotta fail this one, though.
45:45: Someone: Oh.
45:47: Someone: Oh man.
45:50: Billy: I gotta fight. I gotta think. It’s extremely sexy.
45:54: GM: That’s actually the worst. You want to fail your Intelligence check here. What did you get, Dr. Simeon?
46:03: Simeon: I got a five.
46:05: Someone: Oh my God.
46:06: GM: Okay. As you look at this thing, the reality of it—the horribleness, the alien quality of it—sinks in. You understand the full ramifications of what this is and what it means. The world is not anything like what you expected. There are things in it, and out there, more horrible than you could imagine, and they are real and staring you right in the face. To put it simply: you crack.
47:00: Someone: That’s a psychologist.
47:07: Someone: It’s been stabbed by a naked— I was naked, bro.
47:11: Someone: I think that’s what I had.
47:13: GM: Alright, I want you both to roll me 1d10.
47:19: Someone: Who?
47:19: GM: You guys both do.
47:23: Billy: Six.
47:23: Simeon: Ten.
47:26: GM: Billy, you’re barely more than a kid. You’ve only been on the force a little while. You’ve seen a few things, but nothing like this. Nothing could have prepared you for it. It overwhelms you, and you drop to the ground completely unconscious as you faint from the horror.
47:56: Someone: Oh God.
47:58: Someone: As soon as I see this, I turn and whack Corbitt in the head with my gun.
48:11: Someone: So do I lose ten Sanity points?
48:13: GM: No, you already lost—
48:16: Someone: Five.
48:20: GM: No, you actually are going to get a mania, my good man. This is where the fun lies. We get to roll on the table of manias to see what thing you now become obsessed with.
48:40: Someone: People become obsessed with sphincters and butts.
48:47: GM: Alright, Dr. Simeon, roll me d100.
48:52: Someone: Is it just these two?
48:54: Someone: Oh no, I’m staying here.
48:59: Simeion: Three.
49:03: GM: Okay. As you’re looking at this thing, you suddenly feel that the only way to be safe from it is to be in the dark. Nothing can find you in the dark. You have to find darkness and enclose yourself in it—wrap yourself in the deep black silence of night. You are now afflicted with acluomania: an excessive liking for darkness. You feel an overwhelming urge to seek out the darkest place immediately and hide yourself there.
49:46: GM: Let’s see—roll me a d6.
49:54: GM: Okay. For the next turn, the only thing you can think of doing is finding yourself a dark place to hide in.
50:05: GM: Alright, what’s everybody’s Dex?
50:08: Someone: 60.
50:09: Someone: 50.
50:10: Tallahassee: Yeah, 60.
50:11: Someone: 65.
50:13: GM: That’s the end of this room.
50:15: GM: Tallahassee, you’re 60?
50:18: Tallahassee: Yeah.
50:20: GM: Yep. 60 is—
50:23: Someone: 60 is 50.
50:24: Someone: 50, 50. Yep.
50:25: GM: Alright, Dom Druncard, you’re up first. What do you do?
50:32: Dom: Yeah, I’m gonna open fire with my shotgun.
50:36: GM: Okay, roll Shotgun.
50:39: GM: As this thing moves toward you, its hands are kind of outstretched—not necessarily in a threatening way, more like in supplication, like it’s waiting for you to give it something.
50:49: Dom: Yeah, I’m gonna get a hole in it.
50:50: Dom: Actually, I’m gonna shoot it with my .38.
50:53: Someone: We throw a head-beast at it.
50:56: GM: Do you throw the head-beast at it?
50:57: Someone: Yeah, I’m done.
51:00: Someone: That might enrage it, though. It’s like its baby.
51:03: Dom: I’m gonna shoot it with my .38.
51:10: GM: Alright, Dom Druncard, roll Firearms (Handgun).
51:12: Dom: I have a 60.
51:17: Dom: 22. Hard success.
51:24: GM: Okay, yeah. You fire your .38. The explosion of gunpowder is deafening in this small area. You’re all crammed into this narrow hallway as the thing comes toward you. There’s maybe only room for two of you side by side, and you’re firing past each other at it. Roll damage—1d10.
51:59: Dom: How many times do I get to shoot?
52:01: GM: Three times per round for a handgun.
52:04: Dom: Do I do it one at a time, so I roll damage this time?
52:07: GM: Yeah, but each extra shot takes penalty dice because it throws your aim off.
52:17: Dom: Anyway, I got a four.
52:20: GM: The round punches into the side of it. It lets out a shriek and all the hands and limbs kind of withdraw as it cringes back. Is that your round?
52:36: Dom: I’m gonna shoot it again.
52:38: GM: If you fire two or more shots, each one gets a penalty die—including the first.
52:47: Dom: Oh, well I already shot it, so I guess I’m good. I’ll just do the one shot.
52:55: GM: Okay, Major Bakersfield and Tallahassee, you’re acting at the same time. Which one wants to go first?
53:00: Bakersfield: I’m gonna take a knee and blast it in the face with the shotgun.
53:05: GM: You’ve got your— you have a double-barrel shotgun, right?
53:17: Bakersfield: Double-barrel 12 gauge, I believe. I also have my elephant gun. We might want to use that, but I have my shotgun ready in my hands.
53:22: GM: If your shotgun is what you had ready, that’s what you’ll need to use or you’ll take a penalty in the order here.
53:33: Bakersfield: Alright, I’ve got a 75 with shotgun.
53:37: GM: It’ll set you back a little if you swap to the elephant gun.
53:41: Bakersfield: Can I blast it with the shotgun, sling it back, and then pull out the elephant gun next turn?
53:52: GM: Yeah, you can drop it and draw the other gun on your next turn.
54:00: Bakersfield: Well, I’m gonna blast it with my shotgun.
54:04: GM: Okay, roll your shotgun skill. You can fire twice, but both shots take penalty dice.
54:20: Bakersfield: Alright, I’ve got pretty high Firearms. I think I can at least get a success on one of those.
54:38: Bakersfield: Rolled a 90 and a 20. My Firearms is 75.
54:46: GM: You pull it a little too much and the first shot goes wide into the wall to the side of it. Roll your second one.
54:59: Bakersfield: Two 40s.
55:01: GM: Alright, that’s a success. The second one—you pull it back, line it up, you know what you’re doing, you’ve done this a million times before. You pull the trigger and the blast takes it hard right in the front of whatever this horrible mass is. Roll 4d6. You’re within 10 yards.
55:26: Bakersfield: Six… four… two… one. Thirteen.
55:40: GM: That’s a pretty steep, solid hit. That would kill most things. The shotgun blast blows a sizable chunk out of it. You actually take two of the arms off the top as they’re blown aside. Threads of flesh go hanging off, blood splatters everywhere, and it shrieks in pain and starts charging toward you guys.
56:13: Someone: You should feed it Corbitt.
56:15: GM: Okay, Tallahassee Turner, what are you doing?
56:19: Tallahassee: Okay, so I have both my guns drawn.
56:23: GM: Okay.
56:24: Tallahassee: I have a .45 and a .38.
56:28: Tallahassee: I mean, I turn and shoot Corbitt in the leg—
56:35: Someone: We all die.
56:42: Tallahassee: Should I throw him out in front? Shoot him or knock him out? I’m afraid he’s gonna do something funky with McConnell gone or passed out.
56:46: Someone: I say we throw him at the blood batter please to control.
56:51: Someone: Also guys, who was in front?
56:57: Someone: I think I was at the very front because I—
56:58: Someone: Corbitt was in front.
57:02: GM: So basically you’re gonna have Bakersfield and Corbitt side by side up front. You can fit about two people side by side in this hallway.
57:11: GM: So who’s behind them?
57:12: Bakersfield: I pushed him to the ground and I took a knee when I—
57:14: GM: Yeah, you’d have been right behind McConnell, who’s right behind Corbitt on the floor.
57:20: Someone: So then Dom, are you next to McConnell?
57:22: Someone: Or was that you, Simeon?
57:25: Simeion: No, I was next to McConnell. I was behind Bakersfield.
57:30: GM: Okay, so Dr. Simeon is in the back—which makes sense, because Dr. Simeon is still pretty wrecked.
57:37: Tallahassee: So then yeah, I just step up and full-on shoot both guns, all three shots.
57:46: GM: Alright, you’re double-handed firing here. Doing all that means two penalty dice on each round. So for each shot, you’re rolling three tens and taking the worst.
58:02: Tallahassee: Okay.
58:16: Tallahassee: So do I roll like six times?
58:18: GM: What’d you say?
58:19: Tallahassee: 79 is my worst on those.
58:23: GM: Okay. Which gun is going first?
58:27: Tallahassee: .45.
58:27: GM: Okay, first round from the .45 goes wide and hits the wall.
58:32: Someone: So wait, just to clarify, when you say two penalty dice—
58:41: Someone: Okay, okay.
58:45: Tallahassee: So I’m alternating. That was my .45.
58:50: GM: Okay, so this is your .38.
58:51: Tallahassee: 94.
58:53: GM: 94. Okay, yeah, this one— is that a fumble?
59:00: GM: 96 or above is a fumble. Okay. Firing with people in front of you, if you get a fumble, you could possibly hit somebody in front of you, by the way.
59:09: Tallahassee: To be aware of that, I stepped up as close as possible.
59:11: GM: Well, there’s still Bakersfield and Corbitt in front of you, so you’re kind of reaching around. I guess Bakersfield is crouched down, so you’re firing over his head. Alright, so that’s two misses so far.
59:26: GM: Alright, .45.
59:39: Tallahassee: 53. I will spend 3 Luck.
59:48: GM: Okay, yeah. You realize the shot was going to be too low, but luckily the kick pulls it up enough that it hits one of the legs. Roll damage, 1d10+2.
59:56: Tallahassee: Five.
59:57: Someone: Seven.
01:00:01: GM: Yep. You blow the knee out of one of the legs on the bottom and it stumbles a little bit. A bunch more brown sludgy liquid explodes from the sphincter on top and sprays all over the bottom. A little bit flies toward you guys. And this stinks pretty much exactly like it sounds.
01:00:22: GM: Alright, that’s two. Your .38—roll it.
01:00:29: Tallahassee: Yep.
01:00:32: GM: Alright. Oh, that’s a fumble.
01:00:39: Tallahassee: Can I spend Luck to not fumble?
01:00:43: GM: You’d have to spend two.
01:00:50: GM: Let me—actually, make me a Luck roll.
01:01:06: Tallahassee: 82 out of 63.
01:01:12: GM: It’s the last time I give you guns.
01:01:14: Someone: You shoot the dynamite and we all blow up.
01:01:16: GM: Okay, did you say you wanted to spend Luck so you don’t fumble?
01:01:22: Tallahassee: Uh, yeah.
01:01:24: GM: Alright. This one—you pull it up and fire, and it hits the dirt right next to Major Bakersfield. You were cocking the hammer and it dipped down, then you pulled the trigger too quickly. Major Bakersfield, you feel something graze past your thigh.
01:01:48: Tallahassee: Sorry, man. It’s all this hammer-cocking I’m doing.
01:01:50: GM: Alright, Tallahassee, .45. This is your last shot with the .45.
01:02:00: Tallahassee: 54.
01:02:03: Someone: Did the four—
01:02:04: Someone: Oh, that was a success, right?
01:02:06: Tallahassee: Yeah, if I spend. My Handgun is 50.
01:02:13: Someone: More Luck.
01:02:15: GM: Okay. What are you at in Luck?
01:02:19: Tallahassee: 62.
01:02:23: GM: Yeah. This one strikes true. Roll damage, 1d10.
01:02:30: Tallahassee: Seven.
01:02:31: Someone: That’s a nine.
01:02:37: Tallahassee: Seven on the die, so nine total.
01:02:42: GM: Alright, it connects and takes another chunk out of the side of it. Another arm goes limp as it staggers toward you. Tallahassee is going full Doc Holliday, just unloading both guns into it.
01:02:57: GM: Alright, you’ve got one more shot on your .38.
01:03:05: Tallahassee: 95.
01:03:08: [Laughter]
01:03:09: GM: Okay.
01:03:10: Someone: One under one.
01:03:10: GM: Yeah, this one goes wide and hits one of the beams to the left.
01:03:15: GM: At this time, Corbitt is actually going to jump backward and kind of charge back into you, Tallahassee Turner, trying to knock you over as you are firing all these guns. So as you get off your last shot, he kind of shoulder-checks into you trying to stop you from shooting at his baby. Roll—what do you want to do? Dodge or fight back?
01:04:05: Tallahassee: What are my options—dodge or fight back?
01:04:11: GM: It’d be Fighting Brawl to fight back, or Dodge.
01:04:18: Tallahassee: Okay, whatever one’s higher. My Fighting Brawl is 50.
01:04:22: GM: Okay. When you fight back, you can hit him, throw him aside, whatever you want to try.
01:04:31: Tallahassee: I’m gonna duck and trip his legs.
01:04:33: GM: Okay. Just try and knock him down?
01:04:35: Tallahassee: Yeah.
01:04:36: GM: Roll. You’ve got to get a better success than he does.
01:04:41: Tallahassee: 27.
01:04:43: GM: Almost a hard success. Okay, yeah. He charges at you with his hands cuffed behind his back, tries to shoulder-check you, and you easily dodge aside and kick his legs out from under him. He falls into the wall and slides down.
01:04:59: Tallahassee: Cobra Kai!
01:05:00: GM: His knees—full on, sweep the leg. As he collapses, Dr. Simeon Canstanthis—look at this. You need to get somewhere dark. This is a terrible place. There is only safety in the dark somewhere.
01:05:15: Someone: I mean, it’s pretty dark, so they’re gonna have to back in the room.
01:05:20: Someone: It’s super dark straight ahead of you.
01:05:28: Someone: Well, there’s a back corner in the same room.
01:05:35: GM: There’s darkness straight ahead of you past the horrible creature, or you can go somewhere and make it dark.
01:05:50: Simeion: I’m going to use my shirt.
01:05:56: [Laughter]
01:05:58: GM: Okay, so you turn your flashlight off, pull your shirt over your head, and crouch down on the ground?
01:06:07: Someone: Or go back out and turn off the lights in the laboratory.
01:06:16: GM: Okay, so Dr. Simeion rushes back out to the laboratory and smashes the light bulbs to make it dark.
01:06:22: Simeion: Smash the hell out of them.
01:06:25: GM: You smash the light bulbs and the whole room goes pitch black. The only light now is from the flashlights of your friends in the dark hallway. You crouch down against the wall, whimpering, now feeling a little more comfortable in the wonderful embracing darkness—the safety it brings.
01:06:40: Someone: It feels so much better in the wonderful embracing darkness.
01:06:43: Billy: How long do I stay unconscious?
01:06:49: GM: We forgot to check on that. I did a d6 for Donovan, so roll a d6 for me.
01:07:00: Billy: Five.
01:07:03: GM: Okay, yeah. You’re going to be out for five rounds.
01:07:06: Someone: Oh, geez.
01:07:08: Someone: Here I was thinking Billy was like the toughest guy in the game.
01:07:12: Someone: He’s like, “Ah! Butt monster!”
01:07:14: GM: He’s been kicking some butt so far, but this just got to him. It was too much for him.
01:07:18: Someone: But the butt monster was just too much butt.
01:07:20: Someone: Yeah, it was too much butt.
01:07:21: Someone: He does not like the butt stuff.
01:07:23: Someone: By the way, speaking of, I got one kicking butt and taking names.
01:07:26: GM: Major Bakersfield.
01:07:27: Bakersfield: Yes.
01:07:28: GM: This horrible creature charges toward you. Its many arms and limbs are swinging. The orifice on the bottom opens up and you can see rings of teeth as it charges, grabbing at you and making horrible shell-like noises.
01:07:47: Bakersfield: I have my elephant gun directly into its mouth.
01:07:54: GM: It reaches in, trying to grab you with its many arms. Roll me Fighting Brawl, Sam. Major Bakersfield, do you want to fight back or dodge?
01:08:09: Bakersfield: I’m gonna fight back.
01:08:21: Bakersfield: 97.
01:08:23: GM: 97? Oof.
01:08:25: Someone: I was trying to get out of the fight, right?
01:08:28: GM: Well, you fail, so it grabs you. A bunch of the arms—three or four of them, you’re not even sure how many—reach around your body and start shoving you toward the horrible clamping teeth of the mouth below. The whole thing rears up and tries to shove you under its body to bring its mouth in line with whatever part of you it can get to first.
01:09:09: GM: Roll another Fighting Brawl, Major Bakersfield, as it’s shoving you into its mouth.
01:09:17: Bakersfield: 20 out of 60.
01:09:23: GM: Okay. It rolled poorly. You’re golden. As it pulls you toward its mouth, you manage to bring your elephant gun in and shove it sideways across the opening of that orifice as its teeth come toward you, blocking it across and holding yourself back from getting shoved into this horrible, drenched maw of Sarlacc-sphincter teeth.
01:09:58: Someone: I’m sorry—sphincter teeth.
01:10:01: [Laughter]
01:10:03: GM: Dom Druncard, you see Major Bakersfield being pulled into this thing’s mouth as it shrieks and squeals and expels horrible gases and fluids out the top of it. What do you want to do?
01:10:21: Someone: Oh, dynamite out of my pack.
01:10:23: Someone: Throw it in.
01:10:27: Dom: I haven’t thrown that yet. We’re all gonna blow up if I do.
01:10:35: Someone: Or we all book it.
01:10:38: Someone: Person shoves it in the orifice, but we’ve got one guy passed out on the floor and another guy hiding in a corner.
01:10:43: Someone: Some guy in the corner’s in the other room.
01:11:03: Someone: So Sam is being eaten as we speak?
01:11:05: GM: Yeah, he’s managed to shove the gun across the mouth-hole and prevent himself from being shoved inside for the moment.
01:11:13: Dom: Where’s the dynamite?
01:11:14: GM: It’s on Major Bakersfield—in his pocket or pouch or whatever. He’s got it shoved on the side of him.
01:11:21: Bakersfield: I have it strapped to the side of my leg, more in like cargo-pants fancy things.
01:11:29: GM: What do you want to do, Dom?
01:11:34: Someone: How many arms are holding him? Would I be able to hack the arms and get him free?
01:11:44: Someone: I have a hatchet and a sword.
01:11:48: Someone: Yeah, but I’m not you.
01:11:53: Dom: All I’ve got is a .38.
01:11:54: GM: So you were back by McConnell, right?
01:11:59: Dom: I was right behind Bakersfield.
01:12:04: GM: Right behind Bakersfield, okay. So you have a clear path to the creature then, if Bakersfield was ahead of you.
01:12:12: Dom: It’s in front of me, with Bakersfield still getting—
01:12:16: GM: He’s definitely in front of you, being pulled into the monster’s mouth.
01:12:22: Dom: I’m tempted to grab the dynamite and throw it in the monster’s mouth.
01:12:26: GM: You’d have to grab it, light it, and chuck it.
01:12:29: Someone: Yeah, just sacrifice him.
01:12:31: Someone: Then maybe you could chop the arms.
01:12:33: Dom: I don’t have anything to chop with.
01:12:35: Someone: Well, I have a knife on me—pull it out.
01:12:39: GM: You should be aware that you’re all within about five yards of each other here, maybe ten feet from the monster to all the rest of you. So if your goal is to save Major Bakersfield, lighting a stick of dynamite and placing it directly adjacent to him—
01:13:00: Dom: I don’t have anything to save him with. I don’t have any edged weapons.
01:13:09: Dom: Alright, I’m gonna run up right behind Bakersfield so I’m kind of hugging him with the one arm, and then I’m gonna reach the gun around in front of him and bust a cap in the bug bladder’s face.
01:13:23: GM: Alright—just blast it right into its mouth?
01:13:25: Dom: Yeah.
01:13:25: GM: Awesome. You’re at point-blank range, so you get a bonus die on your shots. Are you gonna fire three shots?
01:13:29: Dom: Yeah.
01:13:34: GM: Okay, so this is just gonna be a straight roll then. No penalty die, because you’re at point-blank.
01:13:39: Dom: So I get to roll for three shots with zero penalty dice?
01:13:46: GM: Yes. Alright, you rush forward, grab onto Bakersfield, putting your arm around his shoulders as you reach your left arm forward, putting the muzzle of the gun directly into the beast’s mouth as it attempts to clamp down upon the barrel. Pull the trigger. Roll your dice.
01:14:09: Dom: I suck. How did I miss? I got a 78.
01:14:13: GM: What’s your firearm skill?
01:14:14: Dom: 60.
01:14:14: GM: Okay. As you’re bringing the gun up, you pull the trigger too soon before you have it in position, and it shoots just underneath the monster. Roll your second shot.
01:14:32: Dom: Ah, that’s a success. 46.
01:14:35: GM: Okay. Roll a d10.
01:14:38: Dom: Seven.
01:14:40: GM: Alright, roll another d10, because on this last one you’ve got it right in its mouth and don’t even have to aim.
01:14:47: Dom: Nine.
01:14:55: GM: Dom, as you rush forward and see Major Bakersfield being pulled into this offensive monstrosity’s mouth, everything that led you up to this point flashes through your mind—the whole purpose for your searching, why you travel so much, everything you’ve been looking into. You see this creature about to eat one of your newfound friends and comrades, and at the same time you shove the gun into its face, into its mouth, and start wildly pulling the trigger. Maybe in some way, by destroying this monstrosity—this horrible creature, this terrifying stuff of nightmares that has somehow appeared before you—maybe this will make the world right again.
01:15:47: GM: With this first bullet, as you hear the gun explode and it kicks back with force, the name Fiona rings in your head. Again you pull the trigger, and the name Sam escapes your lips. Again, as you’re pulling Major Bakersfield away—seemingly against what feels like chains, irons—as the last bullet goes off, suddenly he comes free, and you manage to pull him away and fall backwards.
01:16:30: GM: The creature ahead of you gasps and stumbles. It creams into the wall next to you as fluid starts pouring out of its open mouth. Something vital must have been struck by that final bullet released with Sam’s name. Something goes spraying on the wall behind it. Its legs try to gain purchase underneath it and right itself, but they can’t. They don’t have the strength.
01:17:01: GM: As it collapses to the ground, making those horrible shrieking noises, the bellows-sounds of the fleshy vents in its sides go in and out several more times as you fall backwards, pulling Major Bakersfield away. Both of you scramble backward as far as you can before running into your friends behind you. You see the limbs jerk a few more times. The legs try again to move. You see those opening vents on the side—those wrinkly lips of flesh and mucus that seem to inhale and expel air—open and close a few more times until finally, after one final breath, it goes still and silent.
01:18:42: Someone: We are done.
01:18:43: Someone: Sam!
01:18:44: [Dramatic music]
01:18:51: [Sigh]
01:18:59: GM: You hear a shriek from Mr. Corbitt over his gag as he attempts to stand up and rush toward the now-dead creature ahead of you.
01:19:09: Tallahassee: I run up and stab him with my sword.
01:19:11: [Laughter]
01:19:14: GM: He falls into the side of it and just leans into it, as you can see he’s sobbing uncontrollably.
01:19:24: GM: Okay, Billy, you shake yourself awake finally. Dr. Simeon, you manage to shake off this compulsion that came over you, though you still feel yourself drawn to the darkness. You see the lights ahead and hear the voices of your friends in the hallway.
01:19:51: GM: You gather around, looking over this fallen creature. This was some sort of child of a being from another world or another dimension that was meant to be here to bring its parent forth. Perhaps a gate, as Tomaszewski called it. But whatever gate it was, it’s closed now.
01:20:18: GM: So, as the five of you make your way out of the house, how do you want to finish this off?
01:20:27: Billy: I’m gonna make my way back upstairs to find the phone.
01:20:35: Someone: Good. Are you taking Corbitt with you?
01:20:38: Billy: Call the department.
01:20:40: Someone: Well, he’s just a sobbing mess.
01:20:41: Someone: I’m gonna leave him.
01:20:45: GM: Billy McConnell makes his way upstairs, gets on the phone, dialing a familiar number to his local precinct. As the desk sergeant picks up, Billy McConnell says—
01:20:58: Billy: It’s Billy. You need to send everybody over here to the Corbitt residence. Miskatonic Mangler didn’t work alone. And you’re not going to believe it unless you see it. So send everybody. Tell the chief. Tell the captain. You guys gotta get down here.
01:21:31: GM: Alright, with that, what are the rest of you doing?
01:21:35: Tallahassee: I quickly sketch a picture of the— wait, I have my camera. I take a picture of the scene and sketch a few notes to make sure that I’m good to have my next book—my true adventure book. This is so exciting. I’m gonna go tell my parents I got a real adventure book.
01:21:54: GM: I remember you grabbed the cult book and the snakeskin book. Did you keep any of those journals?
01:21:59: Tallahassee: Yes I did.
01:22:01: GM: Which ones?
01:22:03: Tallahassee: All of them.
01:22:06: GM: Most of these would be evidence.
01:22:10: Tallahassee: Yeah, just kidding. No, I didn’t really take them. I just want them to be evidence.
01:22:18: GM: Okay. I will remind you there was one journal that spoke of another creature taken to a person in a small town.
01:22:26: Tallahassee: Well, I did take notes.
01:22:29: GM: Okay.
01:22:35: Tallahassee: Yeah, and so I do have those notes.
01:22:42: Tallahassee: Then I ask Dr. Canstanthis to take a picture of me with my sword stabbed into the beast and my foot up on top of it.
01:22:50: GM: I guess mostly what I’m wondering is: are you guys staying here to wait for the police, give all your statements and whatever, or do you want to get out of here before all that happens?
01:23:05: Bakersfield: I’m getting out of there. I’m gonna go home and take a serious shower.
01:23:14: Tallahassee: I’m gonna stay. I don’t want Billy to take all the cred.
01:23:24: GM: Okay, so Bakersfield, you’re going home. Simeon, you’re going home. Or no—
01:23:29: Simeion: I gotta go get my wife.
01:23:30: GM: Okay, so you go to get your wife. Tallahassee Turner, you’re staying.
01:23:35: Tallahassee: Yeah, but I’m gonna get my story straight with Billy before the cops show up.
01:23:38: Someone: Bakersfield left.
01:23:40: Someone: Yeah.
01:23:44: Bakersfield: Dom, why don’t you come back to my place with me?
01:23:46: Dom: Yeah, that sounds great.
01:23:48: Bakersfield: Oh yeah, and we’ll drink. I’ll get you the nice glass.
01:23:51: Dom: Sounds worth it to me.
01:23:55: Dom: I go back with Major Bakersfield in a non-creepy way.
01:23:58: GM: Alright. So as you sit in Major Bakersfield’s living room, in the front room, after you’ve gotten washed up and cleaned up a bit, sucking back cool water with a new friend out of some exceptionally fine glasses, you eventually see numerous squad cars pull onto the street, lights flashing, as they flood into your small neighborhood and pull up in front of Bernard Corbitt’s house.
01:24:35: GM: As many police officers, uniformed and plainclothes, make their way inside, you see Billy McConnell, Major Bakersfield, and Dr. Simeon greet them out on the front porch and start explaining everything that happened.
01:24:52: GM: They lead them inside. You see the captain go inside first with Billy McConnell. They’re in there for a moment while a lot of the uniformed officers are still milling around outside and on the first floor.
01:25:10: GM: They’re gone for a few minutes before McConnell and the captain come back up, and all the rest of the uniformed officers are sent outside to wait on the front lawn, while two other plainclothes officers go inside to finish the investigation.
01:25:30: GM: McConnell, the captain tells you he doesn’t want anybody besides this group of people to know anything about what’s down in the basement—the surgery, the things you found, everything about the Miskatonic Mangler. And the thing in the hidden room… he doesn’t want you to tell anybody about that. He doesn’t want anybody else to know about it.
01:25:52: GM: He takes down Detective Frank Kovach and his partner, Detective Burke, as you all go down and take a look. They take their hats off, staring at it in puzzlement and horror, then go back up and send everyone else out of the house.
01:26:10: GM: As the captain goes over to the phone and makes a few phone calls, the rest of the officers search through the rest of the house, gathering evidence.
01:26:21: GM: After another hour or so, a single black sedan pulls up in front of the house.
01:26:30: GM: Four men in dark suits exit the vehicle and head inside the house and down into the basement.
01:26:38: GM: As they go down, they tell McConnell, Tallahassee Turner, and Dr. Simeon that you all can leave, and again tell you not to tell anybody what you saw down there.
01:26:58: GM: So, as you all head out back to your respective residences—McConnell, you get another handshake from the captain, saying that you’ll get another commendation after you explain the events that led up to this: the terrible sounds and noises that led you inside, to investigate what was going on, down into the basement, and the discoveries you made there.
01:27:23: GM: Billy McConnell, you do in fact get a promotion to detective and a commendation. You are the youngest police officer on the force ever made a detective.
01:27:32: GM: Tallahassee Turner, you go home to write your latest book—by far the most unbelievable of every story you’ve written, and ironically the most true.
01:27:50: GM: Dr. Simeon, you gather up your wife with a new appreciation and respect for Mary Beth Beth. You take her back home and decide to spend the next couple weeks recovering from the experience you had—and hopefully recovering your mind a little bit from all the new things you’ve learned, from how much your knowledge of the universe has expanded, and of this strange mythos that seems to exist just out of sight of the visible world we’re all so familiar with.
01:28:29: GM: Major Bakersfield, you head home to your wife, kick your feet up—another job well done, another battle over—and take a sip of water out of your nice glass and wait for the next one. You’ve done it before, you’ll do it again. It’s what you do. Something’s wrong in the world, you make it right. That’s it. Plain and simple.
01:29:03: GM: Dom Druncard, you’ve found some new friends. You’ve been alone for a long time, wandering around, going from place to place. Now you’ve found some people that maybe you feel like you can finally tell the truth to—be honest with. Maybe tell them about who you really are, what really happened to you. And maybe these people can help you in your search for the truth.
01:29:34: GM: And that, fellas, is what we’re going to call it for tonight.
01:30:41: Alex: Alright, wow. Case closed—Mister Corbitt. That was quite the ride. First of all, thank you guys so much for listening. We’ve really enjoyed making the show so far, but this is our first attempt at doing anything like this. We’re just a bunch of amateurs with regular day jobs, and it’s a ton of work to put out this show. So it really means the world to us to know that you guys are out there tuning in every week and actually enjoying this ridiculous mess that we are scrambling together. So thank you again for that, everybody.
01:31:17: Alex: Extra special thanks and some overdue shout-outs go out to our first few patrons. First, Scott Morrison—another one of our brothers. Yeah, there’s a lot of us. Thanks for believing in us and donating to the show. You’re awesome. We love you too. Daniel Gibson, I don’t know you, but I love you all the same. The fact that strangers want to give us money for this absolutely blows my mind.
01:31:54: Alex: And last—and I suspect this is not a real name—but thank you, Crangus McBasketball. Thank you anyway, even if that is not a real name.
01:32:05: Alex: Unless it is, then I am sincerely sorry, sir.
01:32:11: Alex: Or madam. It’s a strong, proud name.
01:32:16: Someone: Is that from the Vermont McBasketballs?
01:32:20: Alex: I’m sorry. Anyway, thanks again to our patrons. You guys are amazing.
01:32:28: Alex: I also want to give a special thanks to Sam, who plays Major Bakersfield on the show. He also does all of our editing, and it really is a ton of work for every hour of finished audio that you hear on the show. With all the music and the sound effects, it’s literally like ten hours of editing and mixing, and that is not an exaggeration.
01:32:52: Alex: Sam also writes a lot of the music that you hear just for the show, which is so cool. It’s amazing. He’s a hugely talented guy, so a huge thanks to him. And hey, if we start picking up more subscribers, then maybe we can start paying you, buddy. Just kidding. You’re still my little brother, so you have to serve me forever. That’s the brother rules. Sorry. I don’t make them.
01:33:20: Alex: I just enforce them with purple nurples and emotional abuse, you know, brother stuff.
01:33:29: Alex: Alright, as for the show, we are going to have a little break for a few weeks before we jump into a new scenario, just to get our stuff together a little bit—and, well, to let Sam have a little rest. But we are going to continue to put out episodes in the interim, so no worries there, everybody.
01:33:54: Alex: That was stressing me out for a second. But we’re just going to do some little side stuff that I might do by myself or with a couple members of the cast. Not quite sure yet, but it should be fun.
01:34:01: Alex: Also, we are working on our first episode of our bonus show, “As the Psychologist,” where we do a kind of behind-the-scenes look at the Arkham Files and talk about the show and our thoughts on everything, and answer questions sent to us by the fans, which should be cool. It’s going to be a lot of fun, but that is going to be a bonus exclusive for our Patreon members. So if you want to get in on that, then head on over to our Patreon page and subscribe. You don’t want to miss out on anything we’ve got coming up. It’s going to be fantastic.
01:34:29: Alex: But alright, that’s it. So again, thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing and for those five-star reviews. And one more time: subscribe to us on Patreon, support your favorite show, hit us up on Twitter at Arkham Files, like us on Facebook, or send us an email to ArkhamBoys@gmail.com
. Let us know what you liked and what you loved and so—well, we Lovecraft you, and we will catch you next week. So keep rolling those dice and paying that price of sanity for the Cthulhu all up in your brain.
01:35:23: Alex: Yeah, I’m an idiot. Goodbye.
01:35:27: Sam: Hey everybody, Sam Morrison here. I play Major Bakersfield on the show. I’d like to just throw a special thanks to Alex, our host. He put a lot of time and effort into preparing the whole scenario, working with us on our character backstories and character sheets and all that stuff, and just for doing a great job running the show and keeping things moving and entertaining.
01:35:57: Sam: I’d also like to thank the other cast members of this show for the time and effort they put into playing their characters and just making this an overall fun experience.
01:36:09: Sam: And last but not least, I would like to thank all of you listeners for listening to this episode.

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