View source for 414: Delivery

==Synopsis==
[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]] chases the spider-dog creature ([[Necronomidog]]) from [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Corbitt]]'s house over the back fences. [[Dom Druncard|Dom]], slowed by his gunshot wound, falls back trying to climb the fence. Tallahassee throws a lawn chair against the fence, vaults over it and follows a scream into a neighbor's kitchen, where the creature has a woman cornered. He catches it with his bullwhip, tying all of its legs together in a single stroke, tells the woman "Don't worry, baby, I got this," and leaves with the creature over his shoulder. Dom walks back through Corbitt's house and finds the front door locked again from the inside. Outside, the car is gone and so is [[Billy McConnell|Billy]]. Tallahassee takes the creature home, tries clumsily to give it first aid, and shuts it in an old dog kennel with water and biscuits, intending to keep it as a pet. Unable to explain where Billy went, the two take Billy's car, which is still parked nearby, and head back toward the sanatorium.

Meanwhile [[Major Bakersfield|the Major]] and [[Simeon Kantstandyerbitz|Dr. Simeon]] go to Guns, Ammo and Chicks, now closed "until further notice" since the death of the Major's wife. They gather the supplies [[Mister Corbitt the Character|Bernard Corbitt]] described for making the medallion, plus more guns, ammunition, nets and the Major's last dynamite. Without warning, Simeon shoves the Major into a display stand and runs for the car. The Major fires into the air, then throws Old Reliable but misses. He snags the spare tire with his second net, only for the net to wrap around his ankle so that he is dragged down the street behind the car. He hauls himself up onto the back bumper and punches the rear window without breaking it, then hangs on as Simeon drives across the easternmost bridge over the Miskatonic and into the wealthy part of town. Simeon stops at a large, richly appointed house, dodges the Major's last net and goes inside. The Major recognizes it as the house of the Goddard family.

As the Major bandages his hand, Tallahassee's car pulls up and Billy climbs out. When the Major asks what is going on, Billy attacks him and chokes him until he blacks out. In a scene for Simeon alone, the Keeper reveals that the same command was given to him: in the hospital waiting room after the death of Raymond Goddard, [[Goodman Gray]] squatted down before him and pressed his words into Simeon's mind. If he found anything of interest he was to bring it to Gray immediately, at the Goddards'. Simeon drives through the sleet toward the house of Erastus Goddard to report to Goodman Gray.

==Funny Moments==

* A yard full of milkshakes "totally makes sense as to why the creature came over here."
* Tallahassee's leap over the fence is narrated as a sparkling vampire out of a ''Twilight'' novel, "a man bursts in from the back yard, diamond skin glittering with beautiful rainbow light."
* Asked if she has a net, the woman says "my name's a net."
* Tallahassee gets to use his whip skill for the first time: "That's the first time I've ever whipped anything."
* Tallahassee adds "one spider dog" to his inventory and plans to win it over with treats.
* The Guns, Ammo and Chicks sign: "It's just Guns Ammo now because all the chicks quit."
* The Major asks to be run over and wishes for one last great netting, and the table decides "He died doing what he loved."
* "They didn't call me Mr. Whoop."
* Sam, worn down by bad dice, declares "I'm done with this game."

==Notable Quotes==

* "Don't worry, baby, I got this." —[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]
* "Look what I found, Dom." —[[Tallahassee Turner|Tallahassee]]
* "It's just Guns Ammo now because all the chicks quit." —[[Major Bakersfield|The Major]]
* "This ends now Simeon." —[[Major Bakersfield|The Major]]
* "Don't attack me Billy. Sammy already attacked me." —[[Major Bakersfield|The Major]]