3.506: Brother's Keeper

Synopsis

3.506: Brother's Keeper picks up where 3.505: Lighting the Way left off, with the party on the hilltop clearing in front of the black obelisk. The DM, Alex Morrison, lets the dread creep over them again and calls for a Wisdom save. Only Tim fails, even after spending two points of Luck, and he is stuck with a level of dread that keeps him from moving any closer to the obelisk and gives him disadvantage on ability checks while it is in view. He decides that he is within short bow range anyway. At the far end of the clearing, about fifty feet away, Shen stands beside the obelisk, chanting out of the stolen book. Three ghouls wait about thirty feet off, one on the left and two on the right, and the party sets up in a flying V with Drandy Savage and his shield out front, Major Baker's Cat bouncing up and down with rage and Tim and Mathon at the back.

Shen turns around, says that he has "always hated cats," points the book at the Cat and calls a pillar of silvery fire down on him for 12 damage. The ghouls rush in. The Cat has readied an attack and lands a natural 20 on the first one, but the ghoul hits him back for 14, halved by his rage, and its venom is shrugged off with a Constitution save of 19. The second ghoul goes for Drandy and his shield knocks it aside, while the third sinks its teeth into Glenn Ghoulia, dropping him to five hit points. Tim, who had been thinking of using his new cunning action to kite them, instead tosses Glenn a healing potion. Glenn drinks it, mocks the ghoul in front of the Cat, and later gives the Cat a Bardic Inspiration die that turns a miss into a hit, and the Cat claws the first ghoul's eyes out. Drandy's counterattack lands and a Divine Smite makes his sword burst with white light, nearly cutting the second ghoul in half, and Tim's arrow through its eye finishes it.

Mathon's first arrow at Shen glances off the obelisk, but Glenn's Dissonant Whispers makes Shen roll a natural 1 and run another thirty feet away, though he keeps his concentration. Shen drags the pillar over to Drandy, and a ghoul bites Glenn down to three hit points. Mathon's next arrow hits Shen in the shoulder, and Shen blurts out "This isn't supposed to happen like this" before he blasts Mathon with an eldritch blast for 7. The Cat disembowels the last ghoul, Tim uses his Luck to guide a short bow arrow into Shen's stomach, and Glenn's insults about Shen's hospitality do nothing to him. Shen backs away from Drandy, who is running at him, until he is at the edge of the hilltop with nowhere left to go. Drandy and the Cat catch up with him, and Drandy breathes a stream of acid that catches the Cat as well and melts Shen's face off. As he dies Shen curses Drandy, though Drandy's player insists that what he really did was pry the innkeeper's mouth open and "Godzilla" him.

With Shen dead, the hilltop is quiet. The party hopes that the entities he was summoning have gone with him. The book now reads as plain English, Tim's dread fades, and the party finds the spell that opens the way, along with the memory that a black mirror is the only way to send a whole body from one world to another. They also remember how to detach their minds from the borrowed bodies. They decide to send Tim, who is Simeon's long-lost brother, through the gate, and finish the ritual Shen began, only without sending through the entities he was preparing, since they remember how much trouble one of those silvery lights caused on Earth. The pillar ripples, a field of stars opens in it, and the DM asks Tim what he does. Torn, Tim says that he has been here so long that he does not know how to go back, and when a friend tells him to come home, he answers, "I've killed so many people." He steps toward the gate anyway, and as he does, the presence that has been in his mind for so long finally leaves. He keeps to the old ways and steps through, and the campaign ends.

Funny Moments

• The DM opens with a pun about finding "hot Melf's in your area."
• The table groans over the Wisdom save ("I hate wisdom"), and Tim burns Luck twice and is still the only one with dread. Another player mutters that the party "should have killed him in the inn."
• Players float a plan to "totem pole" and carry Tim closer. Another player lines up the party and notes that "Timeon and Billy McConnell are last," while the Cat is "bouncing up and down" doing "kitty rage."
• Shen announces "I always hated cats," which gets a "wow" from the table.
• The DM compares the Cat and the first ghoul trading blows to "Rocky and Apollo" with a "double knock out." The Cat's natural 20 is acted out as a pile-driving leap with both claws, and when someone asks whether he literally clawed its eyes out, the DM says "just about."
• Tim keeps rolling ones on his d6 ("always a one"), and Mathon, after a 1 of his own, says "I hate this game."
• Glenn announces "I run away" before drinking his potion, and later says, "I feel like no matter what I do, everybody's dead."
• Glenn's Vicious Mockery calls a ghoul "a substandard ghoul with no musical talent," and the DM rules that it is not bothered, since it knows that it is "a rad ghoul." Shen answers Glenn's insults about his hospitality with "I'm a great innkeeper."
• Glenn gives his last Bardic Inspiration to Drandy, with "our hero, even though you have an ugly face."
• The Cat, caught in the edge of Drandy's acid breath, says "Oh, what a way to go," and after taking only three damage, the table says it was worth it.
• Drandy's player works out his acid breath save DC out loud (eight plus his Constitution modifier plus his proficiency bonus) and adds that melting Shen's face "would be pretty cool."
• The DM compares Shen's melting face to the end of the Indiana Jones movies. Drandy's player narrates the kill in a wrestler's voice ("it's Monday night and I'm feeling crazy") and then asks to change it so that he opens Shen's mouth and "Godzilla" kills him.

Notable Quotes

• "I always hated cats." —Shen
• "This isn't supposed to happen like this." —Shen
• "I'm a great innkeeper." —Shen
• "Drandy! You bastard!" —Shen
• "I feel like no matter what I do, everybody's dead." —Glenn Ghoulia
• "You're a substandard ghoul with no musical talent." —Glenn Ghoulia
• "You're a terrible innkeeper, your hospitality sucked, and you have no soul." —Glenn Ghoulia
• "Drandy, our hero, even though you have an ugly face." —Glenn Ghoulia
• "Oh, what a way to go." —Major Baker's Cat
• "I hate this game." —Mathon
• "Stupid frickin d6, always a one." —Tim
• "I've killed so many people. How could I ever go back?" —Tim
• "I gotta make it home, my brother, Tim." —Drandy Savage
• "...you feel this presence that's been in your mind for a while now finally depart." —Alex Morrison

Teaser

The episode ends with a pointer to the next campaign: "stay tuned for Radio Man," with a release date coming soon.

Outro

The outro marks the end of the season with thanks to the audience for sticking with a long haul to get here, and says that the show is excited for 2023. It thanks nine new supporters who joined the show's Patreon, and it mentions a new one-shot posted there for the Confidential tier and above, "Under a Winter Snow," Keepered by Seth Morrison.