105: Radical Medicine

Synopsis

The investigators begin by reeling from Dom Druncard’s recovered memory of entering Bernard Corbitt’s house and seeing a woman’s face in the attic window. When the group examines the developed photograph more closely, the image confirms that there really was someone — or something — visible in Corbitt’s attic. The discovery costs everyone a bit more sanity, and Dom explains that after seeing the face, he heard Corbitt chanting and lost control of his body.

With several leads in hand, the group splits up again. Major Frederick Aloysius Bakersfield and Dr. Simeon Cantstandya head to Bakersfield’s Army surplus store to prepare for whatever comes next. Their shopping trip rapidly escalates from practical supplies to a small private arsenal: revolvers, shotguns, a long gun, rope, first aid gear, a hatchet, and even dynamite from Bakersfield’s personal stash. In one of the episode’s running jokes, the expedition also somehow includes a human-catching net, justified by the Major’s increasingly dubious war stories and “Mr. Nettie Hands” persona.

Meanwhile, Billy McConnell and Dom follow up on the lead connected to the license plate and visit Central Hospital. There they speak first with nurse Miss Witherspoon and then with the hospital superintendent, Dr. Doyle. Doyle confirms that Randolph Tomaszewski was fired shortly after being publicly linked to the recent pet mutilation case. Although Tomaszewski was never formally convicted, Doyle admits that the orderly had become increasingly withdrawn, tense, private, and possibly paranoid over the last year. The investigators also learn an especially grim detail about his former duties at the hospital: Tomaszewski was responsible for disposing of amputated limbs and other surgical remains in the hospital incinerator. Doyle provides his last known address: 143 Crenshaw, Apartment 4B.

Left to his own devices, Tallahassee Turner decides on the sort of plan only Tallahassee Turner could consider reasonable: he arms himself to the teeth, takes the photograph, and marches alone across the street to confront Bernard Corbitt directly. Dressed in full adventurer regalia — pistol, cavalry saber, rope, hatchet, and hat — he first exchanges hostile glances and rude gestures with the ever-watchful neighbor Mr. Barber, then knocks on Corbitt’s door. Corbitt eventually answers, and Tallahassee tries a bluffing apology before producing the photo and accusing him of hiding a woman in the attic. Corbitt reacts with obvious alarm, but when Tallahassee draws his gun and forces his way inside, Corbitt once again uses his strange chanting and supernatural will to seize control of him. Tallahassee’s body goes rigid, his consciousness blacks out, and he becomes Corbitt’s latest puppet.

On the drive back, Simeon and Bakersfield encounter one of the most absurd sights in the campaign so far: Tallahassee wandering down the street completely naked, cracking his whip, shouting nonsense, and acting as though he has been turned into some kind of eldritch cowboy maniac. Concluding that Corbitt has done something to him, the investigators stage an impromptu intervention. Simeon distracts the enthralled explorer with a bizarre seductive dance while Bakersfield deploys the recently acquired net and tackles Tallahassee to the ground. The result is the unforgettable image of Tallahassee Turner wrapped in a net, hauled into the backyard, and doused with water until he comes back to his senses.

When Tallahassee finally recovers, he remembers confronting Corbitt with the photograph, then nothing at all until waking up naked in the net. His only hazy surviving impression is of a shirtless man in suspenders — a fragmented memory of Simeon’s extremely committed distraction technique. The episode closes with the investigators reunited, now armed, newly informed about Tomaszewski, and more certain than ever that Corbitt is capable of directly controlling people through occult means. It also ends on one of the podcast’s most ridiculous notes: the party now has both a supernatural conspiracy to unravel and the lingering humiliation of what might forever be known as the Naked Netting of Tallahassee Turner.

Transcript

00:00: [Music] Welcome to The Arkham Files, an actual play Call of Cthulhu RPG podcast featuring Seth Morrison as Tallahassee Turner.
00:33: Seth Morrison (as Tallahassee Turner): I think he's dying. But if he does, are you available?
00:39: Peter Morrison (as Dominic Druncard): It was like I had… you know… a fair amount of spirits.
00:46: Donovan Ballard (as Dr. Simeon Cantstandya): I'm not a psychologist tonight.
00:50: Sam Morrison (as Major Frederick Aloysius Bakersfield): Still really into guns and ammo and… stuff.
00:56: Abel Morrison (as Officer Billy McConnell): We can't do anything drastically illegal.
01:00: GM (Alex Morrison): And I'm your Game Master, the Keeper of Arcane Lore, Alex Morrison. Now grab your dice—and your sanity. Let's roll.

01:24: Dominic… Dominic… Dominic…
01:26: Dominic.
01:28: Don.
01:30: Wake up.
01:32: Don. Wake up.
01:36: Dom: Hello?
01:38: Voice: Wake up.
01:40: Dom: What's going on?
01:42: Voice: Wake up.
01:44: Dom: Fiona? Hello? Sam? Is anybody home?
01:49: Dom: Hello? Fiona?
01:53: Dom: I stopped at the market, but I'm here… Hello?
01:57: Dom: Fiona? Sam?
02:01: Dom: Hello? Who the hell—
02:04: Dom: Fiona? Sam! No!

02:10: Dom: What just happened?
02:12: Dr. Simeon: Oh, he's still not awake.
02:13: Dom: Oh, I'm awake.
02:14: Dr. Simeon: Quick—
02:15: Player: Don't hit me!
02:17: Player: Speak American!
02:19: Player: Throw water in his face!
02:21: Player: Good thing he's not a psychologist.
02:23: Player: You really shouldn't enjoy hitting people.
02:25: Player: That's called therapy.
02:27: Player: This is the 1920s—psychologists slap people all the time.

02:30: GM: Dom, you wake up from whatever horrible flashback nightmare you just had to Dr. Simeon Cantstandya standing over you, slapping you in the face. The others are gathered around watching.

03:02: Dom: I remember everything.
03:05: Player: Tell us what you remember.
03:07: Dom: I remember going up into Corbitt's house. I snuck past him while he was on the phone—I think with the police.
03:18: Dom: When I went upstairs I opened the trapdoor… and there it was.
03:27: Dom: That face I see in this photo right here. That's what I saw.
03:33: Dom: Then something happened. I heard some kind of weird voice. My body went limp. I knew what was happening but I couldn't control myself.
03:51: Dom: But I remember that face up in Corbitt's attic.

04:00: GM: All right. I think we should do a sanity check.

04:08: GM: Major Bakersfield and Dr. Simeon, Dom hands you the photo. Looking at it, you see a blurry picture of the side of Mr. Corbitt's house—and what looks like a face in the attic window.

04:51: GM: Everybody make a sanity check.

05:00: Players roll.

05:34: GM: Anyone who succeeded still loses one sanity. Anyone who failed loses 1d4.

06:55: Player: Why is that scary though? It's just a photo of a woman in the attic.

07:25: GM: Dom, when you looked up there you saw the same thing that's in the photo—only clearer. A face staring down, mouth hanging open in a slack scream. Eyes unfocused. Just staring down into the darkness.

08:13: Dom: I couldn't tell if it was looking at me or just staring into space… like some kind of corpse.

08:23: GM: In the photo it's blurry. A pale face with dark hair hanging around it, staring out of the attic window. Something is up there—but you don't know what.

09:11: Player: I think we should split up again and investigate.

09:18: Player: Anyone interested in breaking back into Corbitt's house?

09:26: Major Bakersfield: Let's go to my surplus store. Get some guns. Some ammo.

09:37: Player: Some chicks?

09:39: Major Bakersfield: Ammo magazines!

09:46: Player: Wait—you have a surplus store?

09:49: Major Bakersfield: That's my backstory.

10:28: GM: You guys have several leads to follow. What do you want to do?

10:37: Major Bakersfield: Me and Dr. Cantstandya are going to my surplus store to pick up weapons.

11:08: Tallahassee: Billy, do you want to go investigate that Randolph guy?

11:21: Player: We'll borrow a car.

11:47: Tallahassee: I'll take my gun, my bullwhip, my hatchet, and my rope—and go make sure work of Mr. Corbitt.

11:57: Player: Wait—you’re going to kill the guy?

12:00: Tallahassee: Well… maybe.

12:13: GM: Billy is standing right there hearing all of this.

12:34: Tallahassee: I'll pull my hat off my back, put it on my head, and draw my cavalry sword. Good luck, gentlemen.

15:23: GM: After about twenty minutes everyone finishes gathering what they need.

15:36: GM: Major Bakersfield and Dr. Simeon head to the Army surplus store.

16:07: GM: Dom and Billy take Tallahassee's car and head toward Central Hospital.

16:32: GM: Surplus store group—what do you want?

16:38: Player: I want a sniper rifle.

16:53: GM: You have a range of rifles.

17:16: Major Bakersfield: I'm grabbing handguns for everyone. Plenty of ammo.

17:42: Player: Do you have dynamite?

18:02: GM: Make a luck roll.

18:18: GM: You don't sell dynamite—but you might have some in a personal stash.

18:39: Major Bakersfield: Let me grab the boom sticks.

18:49: GM: You have two sticks of dynamite.

18:58: GM: Also remember—you were already arrested for bothering Mr. Corbitt. If his house suddenly explodes, people might notice.

19:26: Player: We'll just find bones in his trunk afterward.

19:49: Major Bakersfield: I'm grabbing revolvers for everyone, two shotguns, my elephant gun, a hatchet, and the dynamite.

20:00: GM: Twelve-gauge double-barrel shotguns.

20:16: Player: We should also get a net.

20:23: Player: They didn't call me Mr. Nettie Hands in the war for nothing.

20:37: GM: A genuine human-catching net.

21:00: Player: Also—do you stock chicks?

21:04: GM: I find it hard to believe chicks hang out at the Army surplus store.

21:20: Player: Remember when you asked how many run-ins I've had with the law?

21:27: [Laughter]

21:52: GM: You might have another villain to track down after Corbitt—Mr. Nettie Hands.

22:05: Player: Okay, good to know you. Nice. Good to know you.
22:07: GM: Okay, back on track. Nettie Hands. Okay.
22:09: GM: You get to get a hatchet.
22:12: GM: Did you guys send them with anything in particular that you wanted them to pick up?
22:18: Player: Well, that’s a little too late now. We’re kind of far away from them.
22:23: Player: Or can we do a flashback? I would have asked them, just in case, to get first aid gear. Probably some rope.
22:36: GM: Yeah, okay. First aid. All right. Write that down on your sheet there.
22:45: GM: So you’re able to pick up a couple of revolvers, enough for everybody.
22:55: GM: You have one .45 revolver.
23:01: GM: Did you also pick one up for Billy McConnell?
23:03: Player: He is a cop, so it’s pretty likely he already has one.
23:06: Billy: It’s pretty likely. I do have one.
23:09: GM: Okay. So you get one .45 revolver, and you pick up enough .38 revolvers for everybody else.
23:24: GM: Two shotguns, and you wanted a rifle.
23:28: Player: A long-range rifle.
23:29: GM: Oh, you went for the elephant gun.
23:31: Player: We got dynamite too.
23:33: GM: Geez.
23:34: Player: Starting to get the picture of the guy in Tremors.
23:36: GM: Yeah, this is basically what we got here.
23:40: GM: Okay, fine, you can have an elephant gun.
23:46: GM: Okay, so write down all that stuff.
23:48: Player: I have an elephant gun too.
23:49: GM: Okay, so all those things, write them down on your sheet.
23:56: GM: And I guess you guys can hand out those.
23:59: GM: Okay, so cut over to Dom Druncard and Billy McConnell as you guys are pulling into the parking lot at Central Hospital.
24:14: GM: It’s a pretty nice building, nice facility. It’s not new, but it’s been recently remodeled and updated with a lot of newer amenities.
24:25: GM: You get out of the car and head into the hospital.
24:32: GM: It’s starting to get later in the day after everything else you guys have already done.
24:36: GM: So what do you do?
24:39: Dom: Well, I want to ask the front desk lady some questions about Randolph.
24:51: Player: What is his name?
24:53: Player: Tomaszewski.
24:55: Billy: So I walk up to the front desk lady and flash my badge.
25:01: GM: Okay. The nurse up at the front desk — she’s got a clipboard and she’s writing. She’s a middle-aged woman, somewhat portly, short curly hair.
25:14: Nurse: Ah, yes. How may I help you? Oh, Officer. Yes. What can I do for you?
25:22: Billy: Yeah, so, you got Mr. Randolph Tomaszewski working here?
25:31: Nurse: Oh, yes. Well… we did.
25:33: Nurse: He is no longer employed by the hospital now.
25:41: Billy: Sorry, what happened? You want to tell me about it?
25:47: Nurse: I don’t know if I… well, let me redirect you to our hospital administrator, the superintendent, Dr. Doyle.
25:56: Nurse: And I’m sorry — what was your name, Officer?
26:00: Billy: It’s Officer McConnell.
26:02: Nurse: Okay. And this is in regard to Randolph?
26:06: Nurse: Is there a problem?
26:08: Billy: Very well could be. It’s part of an investigation.
26:14: Nurse: Another investigation.
26:16: Nurse: Oh dear.
26:18: Nurse: All right. Well, come with me. I’ll take you to Dr. Doyle’s office.
26:26: GM: So she sets down her clipboard and starts walking off down the hallway, gesturing for you guys to follow.
26:36: GM: You walk down the first floor to a corner office that is rather spacious, very nicely appointed.
26:47: GM: Big bookshelves, lots of books, lots of diplomas and plaques on the wall from very prestigious schools, and awards for various things — excellence in the field of medicine.
27:06: GM: Sitting behind the desk, you see an older gentleman, rather distinguished-looking.
27:17: GM: He has white hair that’s neat and well-coiffed, and a nice bushy mustache. Very dapper-looking guy, sitting behind the desk in a white doctor’s coat.
27:32: GM: He looks up as you walk in. The nurse knocks on the doorframe.
27:45: Dr. Doyle: Ah, Miss Witherspoon. What can I do for you?
27:47: Nurse: Oh, Dr. Doyle, yes, sorry to disturb you, but these officers are here. They had questions about a former employee.
27:59: Nurse: I thought it would be best if they spoke to you about it.
28:05: Dr. Doyle: Yes, well, come in, come in, sit down.
28:08: GM: He gestures for you guys to come in and points to two chairs across from the desk.
28:15: Dr. Doyle: Please. Whatever you need.
28:18: GM: He looks a little bit uncomfortable as he straightens himself in his seat and leans forward on his desk.
28:24: Dr. Doyle: Yes, officers. What were your names?
28:29: Billy: My name is Officer McConnell, and this is my associate. He’s not actually an officer, but he’s helping me with an investigation.
28:37: Dr. Doyle: Oh. An investigation. What is this in regards to?
28:42: Billy: This is in regards to apparently a former employee of yours. Mr. Randolph Tomaszewski.
28:53: Dr. Doyle: Ah, yes. Mr. Tomaszewski.
28:58: Dr. Doyle: Yes, there was some rather unfortunate business with him.
29:06: Dr. Doyle: You can see I had no choice but to let him go. We couldn’t have that sort of thing reflecting poorly on the hospital’s reputation.
29:21: Dr. Doyle: What is it that you wanted to know about?
29:25: Dom: If you don’t mind us asking, how long ago was Mr. Tomaszewski let go?
29:32: Player: It is Tomaszewski.
29:37: [Laughter]
29:54: Dr. Doyle: It was back in April. Mid-April, I believe. Several months ago.
30:04: Player: Was it April 12th?
30:06: Dr. Doyle: The 15th, I believe. Around the 15th, maybe give or take several days.
30:11: Billy: You fired him right after the incident with the animals?
30:19: Dr. Doyle: Yes. He came back in, and the next day I brought him into my office. I spoke to him and told him that regardless of the fact that he was released and not charged with anything, they named him specifically in the newspaper.
30:37: Dr. Doyle: They printed his name, and they said that he was their suspect, and that he worked here at this hospital.
30:46: Dr. Doyle: So you see, I had no choice. I couldn’t maintain his employment under those circumstances, with that sort of stigma hanging over his head and coloring this hospital.
31:09: Dom: Did you have much contact with Mr. Tomaszewski before? I mean, when he was employed, did you know him very well?
31:16: Dr. Doyle: No, not well. He worked here. He’d worked here for a long time.
31:23: Dr. Doyle: I mean, firing him gave me no pleasure, I assure you. He did his job. He kept quiet. He minded his own business. All things you’d hope for from an orderly.
31:32: Dom: But certainly a man of your discernment and talents saw something maybe about him that you could share.
31:51: Dr. Doyle: I’m not sure what it is you mean.
31:55: Dr. Doyle: What exactly are you referring to? Are you implying that maybe I should have seen this coming from his attitude or demeanor? That perhaps I should have been aware of his predilections?
32:15: Dom: Not at all. I’m just suggesting that perhaps there might be something else you could tell us about him that we might not get from someone not as discerning and dapper and handsome as you.
32:33: Player: That sounds like a Charm roll to me.
32:40: GM: Dom, roll a Charm for me.
32:47: Dom: So my Charm is 80… and I rolled a 19.
32:54: Dr. Doyle: Oh, handsome? I mean… please. This mustache just grows like this.
33:02: Dr. Doyle: But… oh, look. All right. I mean, don’t quote me on this, okay?
33:08: Dr. Doyle: The hospital can’t admit to any sort of liability in any of these circumstances for Mr. Tomaszewski’s behavior.
33:20: Dr. Doyle: But again, you must realize, I’m the administrator. I’m the superintendent here. I don’t have time to spend with every one of our employees, especially not a low-level orderly like Randolph.
33:36: Dr. Doyle: But he was here for a long time, and I will admit to noticing a shift in his behavior and personality over the years.
33:52: Dr. Doyle: Especially over the last year or so, he just seemed more tense. He tended to… become more and more private.
34:16: Dr. Doyle: Before, you might have been able to engage him in conversation here and there, like the other employees, I suppose.
34:29: Dr. Doyle: He became more withdrawn and more intense as the years went on, especially over the last year or so.
34:48: Dr. Doyle: He seemed… I don’t know. Maybe paranoid, I suppose.
34:54: Dr. Doyle: If you came up on him when he wasn’t expecting it, he tended to be distracted a lot — almost in his own world.
35:00: Dr. Doyle: And if you walked up on him, then he would act surprised, like he didn’t see anybody around, and scared — like you startled him.
35:13: Dr. Doyle: So I don’t know if there’s anything else besides that.
35:16: Dr. Doyle: Is there anything else you might be looking for?
35:18: Dr. Doyle: Look, firing him wasn’t something easy. We didn’t have people exactly lining up to replace him with the job that he had here.
35:29: Dom: Was there anything you may have noticed that went on around that time that may have caused the change? Or was it gradual, like something may have happened, or was it gradual over a long period of time?
35:47: Dr. Doyle: I suppose it was gradual.
35:54: Dr. Doyle: Again, it wasn’t like we associated on the weekends or anything. I just saw him here and there in the halls when he was going about his business.
36:09: Dr. Doyle: Typically the work he did here, he would try to be as discreet and private as possible.
36:16: Billy: Do you know if he has any family, or if anybody here at the hospital is close with him?
36:29: Dr. Doyle: Not that I know of. I don’t know anything about his personal life.
36:33: Dr. Doyle: Again, he seemed rather withdrawn and closed off from the rest of the staff.
36:39: Billy: Well, you wouldn’t happen to have his address, would you?
36:42: Dr. Doyle: Let me look in my files. I might have his last address here.
36:50: GM: He gets up and walks over to one of the filing cabinets and opens it up.
36:55: GM: Starts kind of flipping through it.
37:00: GM: As he gets up behind the desk, you guys notice he has horrible flippers for hands.
37:08: [Laughter]
37:15: Dr. Doyle: Let’s see… Thomas… Tomaszewski… Here we are.
37:23: GM: He pulls the file out and flips it open.
37:28: Dr. Doyle: Yes, it looks like he lives in an apartment downtown.
37:37: Dr. Doyle: I have his address right here — at least his last address.
37:41: Dr. Doyle: Looks like 143 Crenshaw, Apartment 4B.
37:46: Billy: Great. Thanks, Doc.
37:49: Dr. Doyle: Yes, and you know, we still need somebody to replace him if you happen to know anyone who has a bit of a strong constitution.
37:57: Dr. Doyle: We don’t exactly have people lining up around the block to burn leftover body parts.
38:08: Dom: Of course, of course. I know just the man.
38:13: Dom: I write down the Major’s phone number and hand it to Dr. Doyle.
38:18: Player: No.
38:20: Dr. Doyle: Fantastic. We’ll give him a call.
38:24: Billy: That was his job? Burn the extra body parts, huh?
38:30: Dr. Doyle: Yes. Part of his duties — he cleaned up the operating rooms after they were used, and part of that was disposing of the… well, leftovers, I suppose you could say.
38:44: Dr. Doyle: If there was an amputation or something removed, he would take them, clean them up, and take them down to the incinerator and burn them later in the evening, late at night.
39:03: Dr. Doyle: Like I said, discretion was a large part of his purview.
39:16: Billy: Okay. Well, Dom, you got any more questions?
39:24: Dom: No, I think I’m good.
39:25: Billy: Okay. Well, thanks, Doc.
39:26: Dom: You have the bee’s knees.
39:31: Dr. Doyle: Not so bad yourself.
39:34: Dr. Doyle: Well, yes. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.
39:40: Dr. Doyle: And I hope that none of this comes back on the hospital.
39:45: Billy: No, this is a recent occurrence, so it shouldn’t have any blowback for you guys.
39:52: Dr. Doyle: I would appreciate if you could keep our association with this character to a minimum. Or out of it completely.
40:01: Billy: Yeah, we’ll see what we can do.
40:03: GM: He thanks you, shakes your hands, stands up from behind the desk.
40:17: Billy: Got any ideas?
40:18: Dom: We’ll just go check it out.
40:27: Dom: Let’s go check out that 143 Crenshaw.
40:30: GM: Okay. He sees you guys out.
40:32: Player: You guys can go load up on some ammo and guns.
40:35: Billy: Yeah, maybe we should touch base with those other idiots.
40:38: Dom: Good idea.
40:41: Billy: Let’s give those idiots a call and let them know what we’re up to.
40:47: Dom: So we walk out to the front desk and ask if we can use their phone.
41:16: GM: Yeah, okay. As you guys go up to the front desk, Miss Witherspoon is still there.
41:24: Miss Witherspoon: Yes, I hope that was satisfactory. Is there anything else that you gentlemen require?
41:34: Dom: Wonder if we might make a phone call on your telephone?
41:39: Miss Witherspoon: Yes, of course. It’s right here.
41:44: Billy: Okay, we dial—
41:46: Player: Whose house are you at? Simeon’s?
41:50: Player: No, the only one there we just bought—
41:52: Player: We call Tallahassee’s house.
41:56: Player: No, no. Tallahassee’s already at Corbitt’s house tying Mr. Corbitt up and whipping him.
42:01: [Laughter]
42:05: GM: Meanwhile, the phone starts ringing at Tallahassee’s house.
42:06: GM: Does anybody answer?
42:08: Player: Negative.
42:09: GM: Are any of you guys there?
42:11: Player: Are you guys not back from the—
42:12: Player: We’re back.
42:14: Player: No, but we went to my house because Tallahassee’s gone.
42:17: Player: Did he really leave, though?
42:18: GM: You guys had quite a few things. You were gathering up your shopping list at the—
42:25: Player: The whole store?
42:27: GM: Yeah.
42:30: Player: It’s not a general store. It’s a Major store.
42:43: [Laughter]
42:48: GM: This is where we add the laugh track later.
42:50: GM: So I guess as the phone rings with no response, I suppose we cut back to Tallahassee Turner.

42:58: Player: Where are we?
42:59: Player: Tallahassee, what did you do with the body?
43:03: Player: And Mr. Corbitt’s house with him tied up on the floor.
43:07: GM: No, no. So as soon as everybody else left, Tallahassee Turner, what did you do?
43:13: Player: This is the worst idea ever.
43:14: Tallahassee: Yeah, I walked over to Mr. Corbitt’s house.
43:19: GM: You just went across the street right for it?
43:22: Tallahassee: Yep. I’m going for it.
43:23: Player: Should I help you guys, man?
43:24: Tallahassee: So I was… I’m taking the photograph with me.
43:29: GM: Okay.
43:31: Tallahassee: I knock on his door with the photograph in hand. I get my Colt .45 out behind my back.

43:38: GM: As you’re walking across the street, make me a Spot Hidden check.
43:48: Tallahassee: Spot Hidden… 75.
43:51: Tallahassee: 84.
43:53: GM: That’s a fail.

44:03: GM: It’s a rather pleasant evening in June. The sun is still out but getting low in the sky. A nice breeze is blowing through the neighborhood.

44:19: GM: You walk across the street toward Mr. Corbitt’s house.
44:27: Tallahassee: Yep, I’ve got my .45 behind my back, my hat on, cavalry saber on my belt, rope across my chest like a bandolier, and a hatchet on my belt just in case.
44:52: GM: Okay… you’re pretty decked out here.

45:05: GM: You knock on the door.
45:11: GM: There’s no answer.

45:14: Tallahassee: I look around the neighborhood.
45:22: Tallahassee: I glance over to see if Mr. Barber is peeking again.
45:36: GM: Roll Spot Hidden.
45:40: Tallahassee: 56.
45:42: GM: Yeah, he’s looking out the window.

45:50: Tallahassee: I slip the gun into my pocket a bit and wave to him.
45:56: GM: He just glares back at you.
46:02: Tallahassee: I give him the bird.
46:03: GM: Roll for it.
46:05: GM: He looks shocked.

46:11: GM: He ducks back behind his curtains.

46:26: Player: Did the bird exist back in the 1920s?
46:31: Tallahassee: Tallahassee Turner invented it. You’ll read about it in one of my books.

46:52: Tallahassee: I knock on the door again.

46:57: GM: After another minute, the door opens. Bernard Corbitt stands there, opening it just enough to peek out.
47:17: Corbitt: Oh… Mr. Turner. What do you want?

47:27: Tallahassee: Before he opened the door I pulled my pistol back out and hid it behind my back again.
47:31: GM: Okay.

47:36: Tallahassee: I say with the photo in hand—
47:40: Tallahassee: I just wanted to apologize for me and my friends. We had a lot of water the other day and got a little… adventurous.

47:57: Corbitt: I would say so.

48:02: Tallahassee: One thing I noticed, though. The Major tried to take a picture of the moon while falling off the roof.
48:17: Tallahassee: He got a shot of something. I wondered if you could explain it.

48:30: Tallahassee: I hand him the photo.

48:33: GM: As he looks at it, his eyes go wide.

48:44: Tallahassee: I pull my gun forward and point it at him.

48:46: Corbitt: I don’t know what this is! I don’t know what this picture is of!

48:55: Tallahassee: It’s your house. With a woman in the attic.

49:00: Corbitt: That’s ridiculous. This could be any house.

49:10: Tallahassee: Corbitt, there’s talk. Open this door right now and let me in.

49:27: Corbitt: Fine, fine! Come in, come in.

49:33: Tallahassee: I step inside and close the door, keeping him at least five feet from my gun.

49:44: GM: Make a Listen check.

50:16: Tallahassee: 34.
50:20: GM: That’s a fail.

50:31: GM: It’s about six in the evening now. You’re all pretty tired.
50:49: Player: Except for Dom. He had a nice rest.
50:52: Player: Yeah, he slept soundly in a car trunk.

51:01: GM: Tallahassee, make a Power roll.

51:39: Tallahassee: 53. I’ll spend luck to succeed.
51:44: GM: That won’t be enough to beat his success.

52:40: GM: As you point your pistol toward him, your body suddenly goes completely rigid. You can’t move.

53:28: GM: Corbitt walks up, looks you in the face… and everything goes black.

53:44: GM: Major Bakersfield and Dr. Simeon, after gathering your supplies you head back to the neighborhood.

54:01: GM: As you drive down the street, you see a figure walking down the road toward you.

54:28: GM: As you get closer you recognize the rather well-built form of Tallahassee Turner.

55:01: GM: He’s swinging his whip around shouting “Yee-haw!”

55:15: GM: He is completely naked.

55:19: Tallahassee: Get along now!

55:25: Player: What was in that water you guys drank last night?

55:42: Player: I say we just run him over.
55:51: Player: We get out and tie him up.

56:00: Tallahassee: Get back!

56:08: Player: Get the net!

56:16: GM: Dr. Simeon, distract him while Bakersfield tackles him with the net.

56:49: GM: Roll Appearance for a sexy dance.

57:06: Simeon: Rolling Appearance… success.

58:23: GM: Tallahassee stops whipping and becomes completely distracted by Dr. Simeon’s gyrating dance.

01:00:12: GM: Tallahassee, roll Dodge with a penalty die.
01:00:21: Tallahassee: 80… fail.

01:01:16: GM: Major Bakersfield tackles him and wraps him securely in the net.

01:02:03: GM: You now have one Tallahassee Turner in a net.

01:03:47: GM: Dom Druncard and Billy McConnell arrive just as Bakersfield runs for a bucket.

01:05:13: GM: Billy glances over and sees Tallahassee wrapped in a net being dragged into Dr. Simeon’s backyard.

01:06:08: GM: Smash cut — water is thrown into Tallahassee’s face.

01:06:23: GM: You suddenly come to your senses.

01:06:28: GM: You are soaking wet and wrapped in a net.

01:06:29: Tallahassee: Why am I soaking wet?

01:06:35: Player: We were hoping you could tell us about the naked part.

01:07:02: Tallahassee: The last thing I remember is heading to Corbitt’s house to challenge him about the photo.

01:07:16: GM: Then everything went blank.

01:07:31: Tallahassee: I guess I should go home and get clothes.

01:07:59: Player: Here, wear this burlap sack.

01:08:30: Tallahassee: I do remember one thing… a man with no shirt wearing suspenders.

01:08:48: GM: Tallahassee Turner and the Naked Netting.

01:09:04: [Music] Thanks for listening to this episode of The Arkham Files.
01:09:07: If you like what you hear, support us on patreon.com/TheArkhamFiles and leave us a five-star review.
01:09:40: No psychologists were injured in the recording of this episode.