303: The Grand Slam

Synopsis

The episode picks up at Denny's Tavern, where Ezra Denny pulls Billy and Dom aside after renting them rooms in 302: The Huggening. When Billy asks about Ike Watson, Ezra calls him a psychopath and says that, as a man from the city, he has known a lot of hard cases, and Ike is the kind the hard cases would watch out for. He warns them about the strangers who have been arriving in town, some of them in suits, who also look like hard cases. He tells them to watch out for the new constable, Zeke Dawkins, who has "that look in his eye," and for the Mayor, who is friendly with the constable. Because they are friends of Brent Jameson, who comes in to tell his war stories, Ezra says he does not want anything bad to happen to them. When the group asks for food, Ezra pitches an all-day breakfast he wants to call "the home run," and Major Bakersfield suggests going bigger with a "grand slam." Ezra loves it and makes the Major the first recipient of a Grand Slam at Denny's, on the house.

Meanwhile, in the Shofar's darkroom, Tallahassee Turner carefully develops the two photos left on the dead photographer's camera. As the last one fades in, he makes a reality check and rolls 100. Combined with the Sanity check for the photo, he loses 5 Sanity and drops into the 30s. Out front, Dr. Simeon and the Major search the newspaper's back issues. They find nothing recent about missing persons, but over the years the area has had an unusually high rate of disappearances and violent deaths. Simeon finds an article headlined "Phantom Fire," dated Friday June 27th, 1925, three or four days after Corbitt's arrest. It reports a large amount of smoke rising near the cemetery, but when witnesses went to investigate, they found no fire and could not trace the smoke. The Major, who failed his roll, reads an issue of "Trader Joe's" for its nets.

A scream comes from the back room. The Major and Simeon find Tallahassee huddled in the corner under the red bulb, hiding his face. Simeon tries psychoanalysis but rolls a 92, and Tallahassee only swats at him. Billy and Dom arrive past a nervous Jacob Alister, who is holding a newspaper in front of himself like a shield, and everyone looks into the developing basins. The first photo is a blurry, foliage-obscured view of an enormous mouth full of jagged teeth, with a shark-like eye glinting above it. The second shows a forest at night and the same creature: the shape of a man with no head, with eyes set in its shoulders and a huge shark-like mouth in the middle of its torso, just as described in Corbitt's journal. It is turning toward the camera, as if the photographer had made a noise. Worse, two more creatures stand among the trees behind it. They are at least man-sized and probably much larger. The group rolls Sanity, and Simeon loses 4 and is "going off the deep end," while the Keeper notes that Dom, thanks to all his drinking, is the sanest of them.

The group takes Tallahassee back to the tavern, where a drink calms him down despite his worry that his best friend Fred Landers will be disappointed in him. With a few hours of daylight left in mid-September, they decide to check Mordecai Shep's shack before dark. Simeon points out that Corbitt's warning to the Major was accurate: there are at least three of these monsters. The Major notes that they look nothing like the creature Corbitt built in Mister Corbitt, so they are dealing with something different. He orders everyone to stay armed at all times, gives Billy a second pistol, and suggests "a show of force," which the others hear as "a show of horse." They also remember that they still have the dead light in its box in the truck. Dom jokes that if Tallahassee gets crazy enough they can sacrifice him, and Tallahassee clarifies that he did not mean they should burn a whole bunch of people alive. On the way out they nod to Ezra, who watches them leave with concern.

Mordecai's one-room shack sits at the lonely end of a crooked road on the shabby side of town, nestled against oak and birch trees. Tallahassee keeps watch from the roof of the box truck, while Dom listens at the door and hears nothing. Billy finds a confusion of footprints around the door. Inside, the place is a slob's wreck of bottles, half-eaten meals and soiled clothing. The only sign that someone searched it recently is the cut-open mattress, which has spilled feathers everywhere. Tallahassee yells at them not to forget to search for trapdoors. Billy stomps on the boards, and one under the wood-burning stove shifts. The Keeper suggests that whoever searched the shack may have missed it because the stove was too hot. Beneath it is a shoebox-sized chest, which Billy declares free of traps with a roll of 99. It holds about $400 in cash and a .38 revolver, both of which Dom pockets, and a bundle of letters signed "BC."

Back in their rooms at the tavern, the group reads the letters, which date from 1917. In the first, from March 15th, BC agrees with Mordecai that "a more isolated secure location" is needed to house and study "the subject" after a near exposure. In a June letter, BC complains about the cost of hiring labor from outside the area, saying a plot has been purchased and grumbling that Mordecai could wield a shovel himself instead of charging exorbitant fees. The December 17th letter celebrates the finished laboratory: BC writes that they will be the first "rising from a tomb in Jerusalem," apologizes for the elaborate locking mechanism, inspired by his fondness for the tales of his neighbor Tallahassee, and signs off "as below so above." The group concludes that BC is Bernard Corbitt (Corbitt), that he is a fan of Tallahassee's books, and that the laboratory is hidden under a tomb, probably a mausoleum, in the cemetery near the phantom fire. With night falling, the Major insists that they all sleep in one room for Tallahassee's sake. Downstairs, Robert Morgan is still drinking, and Simeon finally succeeds at a Spot Hidden roll. He notices a clean-cut, nicely dressed young man sitting alone. Ezra tells Billy that he is "the kid," the one seen at the Warthrop place, and the episode ends.

Funny Moments

The Major renames Ezra's "home run" breakfast: "If you're gonna go with home run, you might as well make it bigger... You like a grand slam?" Ezra declares it the first "Grand slam at Denny's."
Tallahassee fumbles his reality check with a 100: "My dice never stops spinning."
While Simeon finds the clue, the Major is busy with "a real good article" in "Trader Joe's": "They got some real good nits in here."
Simeon cannot get through the word "constabulary": "Consta- I can't say this, consta-."
Simeon reaches for his psychoanalysis: "Get some of that psycho sauce." He rolls a 92.
Dom explains why he is the sanest investigator: "It's all the drinking I do!" The Keeper agrees that it probably is.
The Major's "Reconnoiter" comes out as "Reconoider," and the table runs it through "Recon-mortem" to "Recon-morty."
Tallahassee refuses a drink because "My best friend Fred Landers will be disappointed in me," then gulps it down.
The Major calls for "a show of force," the table hears "a show of horse," and someone volunteers to ride the horse while wielding the flamethrower.
Billy rolls a 99 checking the box for traps, and the Keeper rules it "the least trapped box that was ever not trapped."
Tallahassee keeps telling the others to look for trapdoors, citing his own books, and when Billy finds one under the stove he says "What did I tell you?"
The table decides Tallahassee's longest book must be "Tallahassee Turner and the Elaborate Locking Mechanism."
Simeon celebrates finally succeeding at a Spot Hidden, and the Keeper says he spots "the spear trap as it stabs into your head."

Notable Quotes

"That kid's a psychopath." —Ezra Denny
"If you're gonna go home run, you may as well go all the way." —Ezra Denny
"My dice never stops spinning." —Tallahassee Turner
"It's all the drinking I do!" —Dom Druncard
"These don't look anything like the butthole that Corbett built. Clearly we're dealing with something different here." —Major Bakersfield
"This is the least trapped box that was ever not trapped." —The Keeper
"I knew he was a fan." —Tallahassee Turner