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311: Beefing the Defenses

From Split LongWays

Synopsis

The episode picks up where 310: Salem's Lot left off. It opens with a look back at Major Bakersfield testing the summoning spell he learned from Corbitt's journals. He pours a salt circle, draws the patterns and chants, but nothing happens until he abandons the circle and tries again. The creature that answers can tell him little about the abomination in New Jerusalem, but Bakersfield learns that he can summon it whenever he likes.

In the present, Bakersfield speeds north in Percival's car toward the cabin of his friend Grant Jameson. He passes the lane to the Layton Farm and, despite a pang of regret, decides not to stop, reasoning that nobody would believe a stranger shouting about monsters. On the road he starts casting Summon the Steed of Stars to call the steed Slotty Botfast, spending all ten of his magic points for a 50-minute casting. He rolls a 94 and avoids a fumble by two points. As he nears the cabin, he notices that the woods are much darker than the land around them.

At Denny's, the windows on both floors are boarded up and it has been dark for about half an hour. With the group are Goodman Gray and his four men, the nervous general store owner Abraham Harvey, the old but capable Ishmael Graves, the drunken former constable Robert Morgan, the butcher Daniel Ames, Constable Zeke Dawkins and Mayor Jedediah Marsh. Tallahassee is outside finishing his traps: dynamite planted in and around the vehicles out front, near the end of Dr. Simeon's trail of beef and pork leading from the center of town. One of Gray's men gives Dom a crash course on the flamethrower.

Dr. Simeon passes a Listen roll and then a Stealth roll, letting him slip close enough to overhear Gray and Dawkins. Gray offers the constable a place in his organization, says that the mayor has outlived his usefulness now that "the creature" has been acquired, and asks Dawkins to deal with that loose end before the night is over. Dawkins agrees. When Simeon tries to warn the mayor, Gray's driver blocks him. Simeon turns to Percival Warthrop, who says that he has a few low-level contacts in the organization and wants to know who is pulling the strings. Percival and Dom stage a brawl that drags the driver to the ground. Meanwhile Simeon casts a command spell on the mayor for the first time, failing the first attempt and pushing the second at extra cost in magic points and sanity. He wins the opposed POW roll with an extreme success and orders the mayor to say who has been paying him to watch Corbitt and Mordecai Shep. The mayor names Mayor Sidel of Arkham, whom the players link to season one and to Corbitt.

At the cabin, Bakersfield blows his whistle into the night and releases the spell. He sees lights on inside, but screeches and roars are approaching through the woods to the west. On the east side of town, Billy and Ezra Denny ready their guns outside a firelit shack. Outside Denny's, Tallahassee hears inhuman screams coming from the burning west side of town and runs inside to warn the others that the creatures have arrived.

Funny Moments

  • Dr. Simeon and the butcher's meat trail turns into an extended riff on "beefing," including "alternating beefs" and a trap dubbed the "meat lovers skillet."
  • The Keeper keeps saying "booty traps," the table keeps correcting him, and it ends up as "beefy booty traps."
  • Tallahassee sizes up Constable Dawkins's gun, hat and long coat and decides that he is a dime-store knock-off: "He just wants to be me."
  • Dr. Simeon rolls a 15 on Stealth and is crowned a "suspenders-clad psychologist ninja."
  • Percival and Dom's staged fight turns into "your mom's a smoothie" insults while both of them punch the driver between them.
  • Tallahassee's battle cry: "Gents, get your blenders, it's time to whip some smoothies."

Notable Quotes

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