315: Legends Never Die

Synopsis

The episode picks up where 314: The Siege left off, with the alpha creature smashing through the front of Denny's Tavern and everyone making a Sanity roll. Everyone fails. Billy falls into a fleeing panic, drops Ike Watson at the foot of the stairs and scrambles to the second floor. Tallahassee, who is already deep in a hallucination, now believes he is fighting Thuggee cultists in the temple of the Serpent Queen.

Dom spots his abandoned flamethrower tank burning at the alpha's feet. He takes cover behind a table and shoots the tank with his M1911, and the explosion throws the alpha into the burning tables for 16 damage ("Smells like barbecue. I just saved 16 cents"). Dom is knocked flat but escapes with minor burns. At the back door, Tallahassee shoots one of his cultists dead ("Welcome to my cult"). Dr. Simeon puts on his PF Flyers and tries to "pickle the beast", using the runes that Corbitt carved into the alpha to control it, but his Cthulhu Mythos roll fails. The alpha recovers. It crushes the butcher Daniel Ames as he tries to pull Percy out from under a table, bites another townsman in half and turns toward Dom. Goodman Gray backs toward the stairs, muttering that "we only need one", and with a whispered spell he drops the second creature fighting Tallahassee.

Remembering a dream in which a man in a baseball uniform told him that "heroes get remembered, but legends never die", Dom laces up his PF Flyers and attempts the pickling himself. Against a Cthulhu Mythos of 10%, he rolls a 9. Near the alpha's left hip he recognizes the same symbol he found on the floor after his family disappeared, and the words come to him. Light traces up the runes, and the alpha locks in place under his control. Goodman Gray can hardly believe that Dom did it. Dom sends the alpha after the two creatures devouring the general store owner, who are close to Percy.

Tallahassee's hallucination shifts to the Satsuma Rebellion in Japan. Hearing Ezra cry for help upstairs, he imagines his saber is a katana, vows to bring honor and charges up the stairs at an adolescent creature menacing Ezra, Delilah and her son. Meanwhile, Major Bakersfield arrives over New Jerusalem on Slotty Botfast, a bandana tied over his ruined eye. He sees every remaining creature converging on the burning tavern and the dead light flickering to its west, and he has the steed carry him toward the south side of Denny's. Upstairs, Dr. Simeon casts Command on Billy to snap him out of his panic. He loses the opposed POW roll, then pushes it at the risk of taking on Billy's madness, and succeeds with a hard success. His will breaks through, Billy remembers who he is, and his panic fades. At the end of the hallway, the creature wrestling Tallahassee drags him out the window. They fall to the street, and Tallahassee lands on top of the creature, only to see one of the giant adult creatures charging toward him from the center of town.

Funny Moments

• Dom tries to come up with a pun in time for his Sam Raimi-style tank shot and settles on "This is my boom stick" and "Smells like barbecue. I just saved 16 cents."
• "Pickle the beast" becomes the catchphrase of the night, along with the Sandlot's PF Flyers. One player shows up actually wearing them, and the Keeper narrates Dr. Simeon "becoming legend" before revealing that he failed.
• The Keeper notes Billy's pattern of fleeing whenever the monsters appear, after he did the same with the "Butthole Monster".
• Tallahassee dispatches a cultist with "Welcome to my cult," and the table adds "Here's the Kool-Aid."
• Dr. Simeon declares "I pickled Billy" after his pushed Command roll succeeds.
• Tallahassee tries Japanese and apologizes to any Japanese-speaking listeners, and the table imagines subtitles appearing on screen.

Notable Quotes

• "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die." —Simeon Kantstandyerbitz
• "This is my boom stick." —Dom Druncard
• "Smells like barbecue. I just saved 16 cents." —Dom Druncard
• "Welcome to my cult." —Tallahassee Turner
• "He did it. I can't believe it. He actually did it." —Goodman Gray
• "Snap out of it, man!" —Simeon Kantstandyerbitz
• "I will bring honor." —Tallahassee Turner